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whyhate
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Posted: Sunday December 14th, 2003 06:07 |
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I really dnt knw how 2 say this but i need sum help on tryin 2 get sum confidence in myself. I am 17 yrs old, never been kissed or anythhing like that. Sometimez I wake upin the morning and wonder what is wrong wid me. Really and truly I know I am not ugly and I carry myself really well wid muy clothes and attitude. I have got bear friendz (not being rude) who I knw for definete I am prettier than, however they get bear nice boys. I am fed up of sitting on the phone wid them telling me hw good this was e.t.c. I wonder am I ever gonna get boyfriend?????. I know this is bad but I have reduced myself to telling some of my friendz and family about this imaginery boy. I do it so I dnt feel left out. Everytime I go out I do make an effort , but the boys just seem to watch and smile, and I get really shy. I would never approach a boy cos Im scared he will not like me. But I really do not know what else to do, cos I am really getting depressed. I always think my time will cum soon but it doesn't seem like it. Dont get me wrong I hav had a couple of boys who hav liked me but I hav been to scared to express my emotions, so nothing has happened. Some1 out there please help!!!!!
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Mi$$~ThAnG
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Posted: Sunday December 14th, 2003 06:54 |
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lISTEN GURL..A MAN AINT EVERYTHING TRUST!!!! IF U REALLY "NEED" DON'T GO DELIBERATLY OUT OF TOUR WAY TO GET ONE ..YOU WOULD SEEM EAGER....BUT TRUST UR TIME WILL COME..."GOOD THINGS COMES TO HE WHO WAITS" WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS TALK TO SOME ONE LIKE UR MOM OR BEST FRIEND DONT KEEP IT ALL INSIDE IF ITS BUGGING UR DAT MUCH. DONT LET IT THINK YOU AINT PREETY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE IT AINT ALL ABOUT LOOK IT ABOIT WHATS INSIDE....DONT LET NO OTHER PERSON TELL YOU DIFFERENT.....BE WHO UR R AND DONT LT NO ONE OR ANYTHING HAVE 2 CHANGE U FROM THE PERSON U ARE..... P.S YOUR NOT THE ONLY GURL OUT THERE HAVING TROUBLE WITH BOYS/MEN SO DONT FEEL YOUR ALONE
' ', 
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Nigerian Princess
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Posted: Sunday December 14th, 2003 07:43 |
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Hey Girl, DON'T Worry bout dis aight! I know for a fact some guys are intimidated by gyals, because their scared of rejection, juss like you. But if you carry on with this fear you'll only ever wonder 'what if I spoke to him . . .' U know you are Beautiful so you DON'T Need to make up boyfriends okay, and it may be embarrassing to admit to your family and friends your not with him so juss say Its ended because it just wasn't working out
Be Patient, and the next time U see a BUFF Guy, Go For it
Good Luck
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N15 Bean
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Posted: Monday December 15th, 2003 04:29 |
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u dont need a man 2 b happy! Jus b urself and ur time will cum! Rememba der might b sum1 out der who finks da world of u but der jus 2 shy 2 admit it!  
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I'M BORED ITS HALF 3 IN THE MORNING
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Posted: Friday January 2nd, 2004 12:15 |
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| THE WORLD DONT REVOLVE ROUND DA MAN DEM...THEY AIN'T ALL THERE CRACKED UP TO B THEY JUSS BRING STRESS UP IN GYAL HEAD...WOT U NEED TO DO IS GET UR LIFE IN ORDER AND HAVE WOT U WANT B4 U THINK BOUT THEY MAN DEM...BECAR THEY ARE ONLY DISTRACTIONZ........AND U DONT NEED DEM REALLY TO MESS UP UR LIFE....BECAUSE NOWADAYS THE MAN DEM ONLY SEEM 2 B AFTA 1 TING ZEEN....AND I WAS TLD GROWIN UP "1NCE U HAVE UR EDUCATION NO MAN CAN TEK U FOR BUMBACLART IDIOT"
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I have a man lol
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Posted: Saturday January 3rd, 2004 01:27 |
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| have u ever thought about changing ur deoderant????
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STOOSH!!!
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Posted: Sunday January 4th, 2004 04:57 |
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IF A MAN DONT WANT YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK URSELF Y?????? IF U CANT FIND AN ANSWA TRY LOOK HOW OTHA PPL DRESS,LOOK N ACT...TRY IT N C WHERE U GET...IF AFTA THAT U STILL CANT GET NOWHERE...TRY BEIN LESBIAN C WHERE THAT GETS U...IF GIRLS DONT WANT U DEN LUV U HAVE NO LUCK!!!
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Blonde Babe
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Posted: Thursday January 15th, 2004 23:24 |
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| well iv gotta say theres gotta be sum1 who wants u maybe they are too shy or think that u will reject them. maybe u shud try tlkn to chaps a lot more and let them get to know ugud luk
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Dark fire
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Posted: Tuesday February 3rd, 2004 10:23 |
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| Well what can I sya? hmmmmm just be confident and go up to a boy you like cause i sout youll get regected.or just link me maybe........ If you got msn errr........ e-mail me and we could chat.
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Dark Fire
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Posted: Tuesday February 3rd, 2004 10:32 |
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| e-mail me at dferno87@hotmail.com i forgot to leave dat part ou.
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N.A.T.
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Posted: Tuesday February 3rd, 2004 10:42 |
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Yo Lady your post sounds real sweet. I knoz the problem you have cus my likkle sistah had that too. If everything is really based round the words of your post then the truth is, you are too shy you drive the guys away with out knowing it. These days with the reaction of most black girls, black guys are very subtle with their approach. If a guy is smiling at you try smiling back if you feeling him, if he tries to eye lock you do the same from there on u would know hes on it, whether he comes to you or you go to him thats a different ting. However, if none of this goes through thats the end, u would find out many, and I mean many guys have prevented themselves from approaching a girl because of the resistance of no reponse to such expressions. Sometimes you might not know it but your shyness may appear as rudeness. Im not just speaking from my lil sistahs experience, Ive also come across a number of queens who I use to be digging but never made an effort cus I thought they we in the least bit interested and then a couple of months or even years down the line they'll be like ' didn't you like me?' and you'd be like 'What? U was feeling me?'. Trust me, u dont want that feeling of finding out a guy that u liked used to like you to and nothing happened.
But anyways u r still young and as you say... pretty, somethings happen for a reason, maybe oneday you would look back and appreciate the fact that u still v-reg, many woman fake 2b what u r.
Last edited on Tuesday February 3rd, 2004 10:43 by N.A.T.
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Nick
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Posted: Wednesday February 4th, 2004 03:29 |
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Believe me I know the problem. For me its not confidence, but I can't put my finger on what it is. I find the best way to approach somebody is to forget about the fact that you like them and just ask them a question or something completely innocently, like the time??? I find it nearly impossible to walk up to a girl that I like, especially if she keeps eye contact the whole way there. Normaly I would break off and walk away with nerves. But if I just clear my mind and just walk over with a big smile, with a sort like "HI" I find its really easy. I guess I am making myself feel much more in control of the situation by doing this, than thinking about what I gonna say, whats she gonna think....ect as I slowly walk over their.
But this brings me to my next point. If I see a girl comming over a little to strong (ie long glares) this can sometimes make me lose my nerve. So its very hard to get it right between getting thie attention and too much if they are not too confident. I hate the feeling though when I do because I hate myself for the fact that something I want so bad I turn away so easily. I find if I have spoken to a girl for like 5 minutes, then after that I feel really relaxed around her, but for the first 5 minutes its hell.
Also where do you go to meet guys. I find clubs and noisey places really hard to talk and stuff. Try going out with your mates and a group of guys together to a place where you can talk to them in a more comfortable enviroment with your friends around you. This is my favorite way, because it takes all the obvious parts of you fact you fancy somebody away and makes it easier to get to know somebody.
If it helps try and make friends first and then move in a bit closer. If a guy fancy's you friends or not he won't say no. Which is sort of different to girls, who see their male friends in a slightly different light to guys they fancy. Or so all my female friends tell me???
Hoped that helped.
Nick
ps. I'm 21 so its not an age related thing.
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pak man
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Posted: Wednesday February 4th, 2004 03:53 |
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hello,
well if all else fails holla at me and i'll buy you a dildo for valentines so you dont feel left out...oh and you can kiss my ass if your wanting to kiss something so badly.
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Nick
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Posted: Wednesday February 4th, 2004 05:04 |
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| Thanks for your contribution to the thread. Good to see you didn't stoop down to such a low level and write something stupid.
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black_coffeebean
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Posted: Friday February 6th, 2004 05:11 |
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yeh wats wrong wid u ppl the girl asks for advice and all u fools can do is take the piss 
look girl i no how u feel u just need to go u to sum guys go out to/join sum clubs meet guys become friends, whats the worst that could happen wot they spit in your face!! cum on
if it helps just pretend ur sum 1 else (inside, no like name, age watever don't go ova the top with that)! or go sum where u no u neva gonna go again if it's that bad
p.s. eye contact always good!!
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MyThoughts
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Posted: Friday February 6th, 2004 07:04 |
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| 4real no need to take the berties out of her predicament, lets uplift our sistaz girl there is one thing I have to say to u THERE IS NO EXTERNAL PERSON PLACE OR THING U NEED IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY, DEFINE OR QUANTIFY URSELF, don't look without to find happiness look within. There is nothing u have to do to be happy, just try being happy and u'll be happy in the things u do. U are still young look to other aspects of ur life that u are happy with concentrate on them and things will come ur way if u believe they will as I believe they will 4 u. KEEP FAITH
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IYALLAH
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Posted: Saturday February 7th, 2004 01:19 |
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@ whyhate
Dont feel no way, nuff times man see a girl and assume she has a man anyway or they are too shy to come and talk to you.
Your friends may have a lot to say about man but i am sure you see the down side as well (them having next gyal / getting dissed etc) It is not all as great as it looks.
Just open your circles and meet people. Be yourself, because so much girls pretend to be something else for man, but you forget that if they choose to go out with you are you going to pretend every day so he wont see the real you??? A man HAS to like you for how you stay not what you CAN be.
Take this time to observe things so when your time comes you don't act desperately.
Another thing is prettiness has nothing to do with it. As much as men always go on about looks, they LOVE confidence more, that is why plenty girls who do not look all that get and keep nice guys, because those girls may believe in theirselves and that is a more attractive quality than a pretty girl who has low self esteem.
Peace~
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Anonymous1
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Posted: Monday February 23rd, 2004 18:42 |
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U no wat, u dont need a man to feel confident bout urself. Truss me, mans are more hassle than they seem wen u dont have one. You need to get ur education, a decent job. Get urself on ur two feet. Wen all dats done, mans will be after you like woah. Then, u'll have a choice. They wont be able to take the piss cos u've handled all wat u need. Ifa man tell u to get out im yard, u got da cash to purchase a nu one.
Things may seem a little ruff at the moment but no that its all for the best. A guy dont always see the best wen he takes his first look.
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*CUTIE*
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Posted: Thursday February 26th, 2004 15:12 |
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@ WhyHate - girl ur post was so sweet, if I was with u where ur at I'd give u a hug.
All of these eeeeeeedyats talking about changing ur deodorant, getting a vibrator, looking in the mirror, or becoming a lesbian.... NEED TO GROW UP! Is this really what u people call constructive advice? Damn!
@ Why Hate - U may be feeling left out or even depressed but don't worry, I know this will sound patronising but you are only 17 yrs old, for the time being concentrate on gaining an education and accomplishing all that you wish to, realise ur ambitions (learn to drive, gain a qualification, a job etc...) u have so much time for relationships and such, u have ur whole life ahead of u and so much to look forward to. I admit being in a comitted relationship is a beautiful thing and so is the physical aspect of it but men are not the be all and end all (sorry guys).
You state that u are pretty and I don't doubt that you are, but now that you've established ur outer beauty make sure ur attitude, personality etc.... are also as beautiful as the exterior. Your worth does not depend on other peoples opinions or reactions to you it's about how you view urself, portray yourself, and how u interact. Good things come to he who waits, so baby ur time will come don't rush it.
It's all about self worth, self love, self respect, self assurance and self confidence, once you have obtained all of these you cant go wrong.
Last edited on Thursday February 26th, 2004 15:14 by *CUTIE*
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Fernando
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Posted: Thursday February 26th, 2004 15:46 |
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girl, take your time and everything will come to you in time. It's a bit sad to see what some of your peers have given you for advice. Maybe blackchat isn't the best place to come for adivce on something that seems rather serious.
Just do what you have to do in your life, e.g. education, work, etc and the sun will come to you. Just have patience.
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shame
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Posted: Thursday February 26th, 2004 15:47 |
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| get a life
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CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE
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Posted: Thursday February 26th, 2004 17:23 |
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@ whyhate, go 2 africa or the caribbean, and you'll get the confidence u need to get with guys, cos they'll make u feel like a princess.
English men dont express their feelings too well, so remember that you're not the problem, they are. If u cant afford to travel, just try and live a happy life, 4get about men, if your happy and confident, the right guy would come eventually.
And when he comes if your still too shy, just be friends and tell him to wait till your ready for the physical side of the relationship
Wish u da best girl.
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Lexi
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Posted: Friday February 27th, 2004 15:14 |
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Hey Girl,Think if you were a boy would u want to go out with u.Plus i really dont think there was any need to invent a boyfriend.If ur prettier than ur m8s then why feel left out that u dont hv a man.All men try and do is oppress any way.They just want to have u on lock down. Be urself and be a proud black women.
God Bless
ps WHEN U HV UR 1ST KISS MAKE SURE THE MAN HAS NICE LLIPS NOT CRUSTY ONES.AND IF HE SLOBBERS OVER YOU THEN I BEG U 2 TELL HIM ABOUT HIMSELF.Plus keep as upd8ed with ur progress and let us know all the details.Im praying 4 u
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lil frenchy
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Posted: Friday March 5th, 2004 17:42 |
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| A lot of things have been said already, but I'mma add somethin. what is sure is that you need to be more self-confident, for that, I've got a little advice that might be useful : if you're scare of going to a guy or talking to one, imagine him in an embarassing situation, naked or whatever goes on your mind ! And if he rejects you, never think you failed !! but tell yourself you don't loose anything !! There're a bunch of men on earth...
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rampant rabbit
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Posted: Saturday March 6th, 2004 11:57 |
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| i second that.
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Blacker
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Posted: Sunday March 7th, 2004 11:23 |
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| Your focusing your attention too much on man don't change who you are someone will always come along when your not even trying be yourself have fun for god sake you are only 17 years old girl why on earth would you want man truoble at this age ave fun fun fun.You mus have girl freinds that you can go out with.
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Mr Cool
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Posted: Monday March 8th, 2004 15:02 |
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| Lil frenchy put a pic up of yourself princess.
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