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MzDiamonte
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Posted: Thursday July 28th, 2005 17:54 |
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| I wanted to no what others views are on teenage pregnancy....I live in Lambeth, South London where it is almost becomin a fashion item to hav a kid at such a young age. Dont get me wrong many teenage girls are not like that. I myself am a 16 year old and have seen a primary school friend have a baby and various other girlz on the endz. There is also a boy that i was at skool with dat has TWO baby mothers and his only 18!....On the otherhand teenage mothers are automatically stereotyped as skets, sluts, junges, hoes etc and I personally don't think that is right....there are sum girls that give birth at that age who struggle to make endz meet but I give them respect for their courage and determination....what do you think about this issue especially as it continues to rise?..........
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nUfF_LuV_n_ReSpEcT
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Posted: Sunday August 7th, 2005 22:04 |
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well souf london has da highest rate of teenage pregnancey im not no gunge im not loose either! But i tink evry situation is different but its not jus da gals fault either coz it takes 2 2 create a child!! So i agree with u dat teen mums shouldnt b labelled as gunges etc...coz da brehs need 2 allow der movments aswell as the gals n if u dnt want child dnt get wetted den! SIMPLE AS!!!! and derz 2 many kids growin up wid out parents or one missin like....kmt! but u cnt change pplz mentalities dey need 2 realsie dem selves of da consequences n wat dey r gettin demselves into wen dey r enjoyin dem 30 seconds or how eva long it is!!!!!
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lil_laydee_k
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Posted: Sunday August 7th, 2005 22:30 |
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Thing is yh, couple gyal in ma collej r havin children yeh n nuff man n gyal r hatin upon dem, like 1 of ma brejin cousin just sed 2 her 2 cuff off when she told him she was pregnant, n now he aint even on speakin 2 her 2 tuff, yh corse hes upset but i swr dwn dere aint no need 4 dat kinda treatment, alie?
I personally don't see anything wrong wiv it but bare ppl dem hatin on dem gyal coz dey r black.
It's like some ppl think it aint an accepted thing for black girls 2 fall pregnant b4 say da age of bout 20.
I say allow dese gyal as dey r doin wat dey wanna do n it aint no1 elses biz, as long as dese gyal r usin dere own £££ 2 feed dere kids n aint affecting others in any way, alie?
BK IN DA DAY PPL USED 2 SAY CHILDREN WERE A BLESSING...
This was jus annoyin me a piece... anyone else feel the same way or different,
speech ur views
Blessy every1xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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little sexy
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 21:06 |
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if girls wana get pregnant at a early age dats there bizniz if dey wana go bare bak let dem deal wit the consequeces it brings coz i personally wana finish skool i of to work extra hard dis year coz my g.c.s.e.is coming up next year and bwoy its not even a messa bout now dat iam going into year 11 level its not a joke coz iwant to achieve at least a c grade in the most threre important subects and i want to go colledge study access to nursing hoping to go to universery train to become a pediatrics nurse so if dey wana throw away there future and waste their education coz dey cant use protection dats their choice i aint got no time 4 babies and other girls pickiney so if dey dont want their parents to be pround of dem dats their choice b. peace   
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Kibibi
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 21:12 |
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No matter how common they are becoming, teenage pregnancies are STILL WRONG-regardless if the girl was a slut or not.
Just because it happens, doesnt make it right 
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natnat
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 21:13 |
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| My friend has just had a baby (26th July 2005) and was obviously pregnant during school and during sitting her GCSEs, she was subjected to a lot of staring and rude comments, but she's the kind of person who didn't really care. She's also the kind of person you'd expect not to get sensible "too clever for that". I personally think it's bad, and can badly affect your life. However, children should be celebrated and it's wrong to say that it will "ruin her life". Each person is an individual, and although for me it would be devestating to get pregnant, for other teenagers it's a blessing.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 21:16 |
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What is a "gunge"? 
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Pharcelle
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 21:46 |
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It's almost distressing when young people who don't know the real serious and complexity of certain things come out with all kinds of phrases and sayings to justify and trivialise certain things.
I think we all know the general affects of teenage pregnancies.
How many of our problems have people saying it was because parents were children themselves when they had kids ?
And let's not talk about the affect it has on the child when it is not brought up within the right structured environment.
Too many of these young girls want to treat their babies as objects and because of their age cannot comprehend the seriousness of bringing and nurturing another human being into this world. And some think its some kind of status thing to be the 'black single mother' to make herself look good when she shouldn't have put herself in the position where she could have conceived a child in the first place.
Young people need to get educated on these things before young girls start opening their legs.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 21:56 |
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@ Pharcelle
What additional penalties of shame or consequence can we add to teenage boys to put the fear of dad into them where dad is not there himself?
How can we as individuals or a community put pressure on or shame boys away from sexing girls in the first place? Without governmental interferance or help...
Where to even begin if the teenage girls themselves see nothing wrong with being pregnant teen single mothers in the first place?
you said
I think we all know the general affects of teenage pregnancies.
You know what? I doubt that, I seriously doubt that.
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Ladi_Swifty
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 22:00 |
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I think teenage pregnancies are wrong for a variety of reasons. Children having children is not a good combination. Trying to raise a child when they haven't fully grown themselves is just....wrong.
Some teenagers are too quick to want to move out into the real world and grow up before they should. I personally know two teenage girls that have already moved out and have had babies and they're only 17! One of the main problems they've experienced are financial. It's a common thing that teenagers nowadays are more concerned with fashion and "garms"..coming out with things like "My baby's gonna be rocking timbs blud"..or whatever other labels come into their mind. These people would buy designer clothes for their babies before stocking up on food. Placing fashion as a priority over food?! That ain't right maynn. A lot of teenagers haven't had to take on as much responsibility as a fully grown adult has, and therefore could find it a lot harder to adapt to becoming a mother (or parents), which could result in doing a bad job of it. Raising unruly children because they were unsure how to discipline them, as they may not even be sure how to diffrentiate right from wrong themselves. Their children would behave the way their teenage parents behave, which is not always the behaviour of someone who is ready to take on the real world, or parenthood. Teenagers need to sort their lives out first, study, get a job or whatever, get their house or their residence first, and have some sort of financial stability before they think about bringing a next life into the world.
I can't really say that all teenage mothers are skets, sloths etc etc, because a lot of it boils down to..stupidity, or as a result of them being too naive to know what they're getting themselves into. I call it stupidity when they choose not to use protection, or if they can't be bothered to use protection, or are unsure of what they're doing but will still go ahead and do it without reassuring themselves. I call it naive when they're simply oblivious to the consequences of not using protection..but then again...I don't think I know anyone who doesn't know the consequences of that. When a Year 10 girl in my last school got pregnant...she was called a sket, hoe, loose etc etc. But in this case....I kinda thought she was, because she was paid to have sex with this guy, and she told me this, basically she got pregnant by subjecting and degrading herself to the level of prostitution. So when people started calling her names...I didn't disagree, because that was just..lack of self respect, and downright nastiness. However, a lot of teenagers are simply mislead, or mis-informed, or are plain and simple...stupid.
Last edited on Sunday August 28th, 2005 22:09 by Ladi_Swifty
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Pharcelle
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 22:20 |
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The thing is that too many young black people are allowed to sit in front of MTV, Channel U and all those other channels that teach them loose morals and too much of a lax atittude when it comes to sex. They take sex away from any relationship it has with marriage, family, parenting, upbringing, community, culture/indentity etc etc etc, isolate and turn it into a commodity so that its just an extremely pleasurable thing that has a power over us and that power then has catastrophic results when its not in its right place relating to marriage, family, parenting, upbringing, community, culture/identity etc etc etc.
Last edited on Sunday August 28th, 2005 22:31 by Pharcelle
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Devious
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 22:37 |
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Kids having kids is just wrong in so many ways. So much domino effect damage is done as the situation effects the two parents, the childs upbringing and ultimatley the childs future choice.
Trust me it not just their 'biz' or 'their problem' its all of ours if you are part of the black society. When an 18 year old has 3 children, or two friends have the same baby father, or when a stay away dad fathers several children that is several people growing up in the black comminuty who r destined to make misjudged big choices that could effect you or your children when your ready to have them.
The fact that many young people are still learning life lessons when they have these children means they are destined to pass on the same ignorance to their children. There is also a high chance that they will not cope very well both emotionall & finacially. We are then destined to have a whole generation who does not respect family values, have any sense of culture or who even have no clue how to have any productive relationships. We should be scared when young jobless mums and absent dads are the norm in our society. Its simple it doesn't equal to a productive society and it does not work.
Part of the solution surley must be within breaking the cycle. If young people are shown what they can achieve and its seen as a reachable goal then they might not just wanna settle for being a young mum struggling to get by. If they had role models - people in good jobs, living good lives or even beening able to see black people from their own areas that are happliy married or living together. Maybe then this could set the standard. Maybe instiling some ambition in these kids could mean that they want more from their life then bringing up a child alone or fathering children they never see.
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little sexy
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Posted: Sunday August 28th, 2005 23:23 |
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| fair enough ur an intelligent person but every one got their own opinions so i had to state mine wat i thought and how i felt about the situation peace
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Monday August 29th, 2005 02:01 |
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DM wrote:
What additional penalties of shame or consequence can we add to teenage boys to put the fear of dad into them where dad is not there himself?
How can we as individuals or a community put pressure on or shame boys away from sexing girls in the first place?
Impossible. Teenage boys will sex girls regardless. Having sex is what teengae boys do.Those hormones are not raging for nothing.
However teenage boys dont get pregnant. And the one's who dont response are not affected to the same degree. Rarely will such a relationship survive 2 years much less 10.
But when teenage girls start accepting or are amibivalent to whether they get pregnant or not thats where your problem starts. Problem is many of these teenage mothers today are products of teenage mothers 18 years ago.
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shae
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Posted: Tuesday August 30th, 2005 13:55 |
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It's a vicious cycle...unfortunately peer pressure is still going on, some parents not educating their kids about sex and are depending on the schools to do it!!, when it is down to them primarily, I mean if you can't talk to your kids about sex what business do you have having them?? as it shows immaturity imo...you're showing your incapability to teach them....you should've learnt from your past mistakes so that you can make yours and your child's future better...
Also, some kids feel as though they cannot talk to their parents or their family members period as they're worried about the criticism / judgement etc...
If kids are free to browse the net and they have questions regarding sex etc... hopefully they have the sense to do some research if they are too embarassed to speak to anyone..
But, you do also have girls that are just to damn fass & wanna get involved in anything & everything without thinking about the consequences.. it's disheartening that it's still happening at the rate it is...
What they should do in the schools, is as well as show a pregnancy video the whole labour preferably with someone who had to go through almost a day of it, have teenage parents talk to them during sex education classes and let them know the real deal...a baby is not an accessory as some seem to think, it's not all about cute clothes, accessories or a council flat...these babies grow up....you need to be able to support your child...what can you do for your child??...do you have education??...means to get by??...do not depend on income support & milk tokens...
Hopefully that'll either make them think more seriously about what they're doing or put them off for another 5 years or so, which will be a relief for their parents too...
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efenjee
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Posted: Tuesday August 30th, 2005 14:58 |
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If a teenager between 16-19yrs old gets pregnant it doesn't have to be a disaster. If there is parental support (preferably from both sets of grandparents) then there does not have to be any suffering on the teenager's part or the baby's part. Someone who has a child at aged 17, 18 and 19 with support from a partner and/or support from parents can still have a decent life and give their child a decent life. It is possible and it's not rare if both families are supportive. Teenagers having sex is not uncommon and births arising from this are also not uncommon, I think the success or failure of such a situation comes down to how the adults handle it.
Some people are quite mature at that age and though they may have made a mistake in having an unwanted pregnancy (it only takes one contraceptive failure!), they are quite capable of being responsible parents if they get the help and assistance that most new parents need - whatever their age. If you have three children by the time you are 20, (it may not be desirable for most people and will meet scorn, criticism and judgement from many) BUT you have all the remaining years of your life to get a higher level of education and pursue a career. You have the kids while you are young and energetic and your body is at it's prime for child-rearing and babymaking, which reduces problems with pregnancy and childbirth sometimes suffered by older parents - even mid thirties is old (bodywise) when it comes to prime babymaking/rearing years. Your children are a part of your life from day one, so in terms of jobs and where you live - the child/ren will always have to be considered and things will have to work around them - unlike those people who have a life first and then find it difficult to slot children conveniently into a life and lifestyle they have had for sometimes over a decade and would involve a lot of upheaval and disruption to change.
Teenage parents cannot always move in together and have their own home, some can, again with the right kind of support, but both can still act responsibly towards their children if their own parents insist on it and do not take up all the burden of parenting the grandchildren. Teenage relationships may not always last very long but not being in a relationship with the mother is not an excuse for teenage boys not to father their children and not being with the father of the child is not an excuse for teenage mothers to act as if they made the child alone and can raise it alone.
In an ideal world everyone who had a child would be in a long term, stable, GOOD relationship, have all the sense they will need to be a parent, have all the money they need to provide for a child's every need (both immediate and future), live in a house with a spare room just waiting to be made into a nursery, have all the education and qualifications they will ever need to get a good stable well paid job, have a great support network with friends and family that can help with the practicalities of raising a child and would be of an age where they have some experience of life and some wisdom. The only problem is we do not live in an ideal world and never will - all we can do, is the best we can do, with what we have. So as much as I would try to educate a child of mine not to have sex as a teen, and if they did anyway, to protect themselves from disease and pregnancy - I would not assume that all was lost if my 17yr old did come in with belly and as angry and disappointed as I believe I would be, I would hope that I could find it within me to support my child and help them the best I could to make sure they nor my granchild had to suffer too much hardship in the future. I think in these situations, the harm is mostly done when a pregnant teenager and the child born to pregnant teenagers are vilified, condemned and punished as if having sex and conceiving are the biggest and worst crimes known to mankind. Pushing them out and running them away is only likely to make a bad situation get worse. Similarly, if my 17yr old son came in telling me his girl was pregnant, I would want to make sure he understood that he had my support (now it's too late for recriminations!) and I would also encourage him to act like a man (circumstances would mean he MUST regardless of his tender years) be a proper father and not let him off the hook by telling him he's too young and the girl tried to trap him and blah blah blah - effectively allowing him to shirk his responsibility to his child.
They may not be able to hang out with their friends as much but they can still get an education and get a job which is what most people hope to have before they start a family. Many people that have gone through their teen years without having a baby still rely on the support of a partner and both their own family and the partner's family to get by when they do start a family as an adult, so they are actually not that different to teenagers who do the same thing. Financially many new parents who planned right may be independent but the practical help they often need is the same as what teen parents need. There is a lot of stigma attached to teen pregnancy and while I don't say it's a great thing for everyone to do, it can and often does work out just fine.
Did anyone watch Supernanny the other night? Grown-ass divorced woman with 3 little girls running her ragged, lived next door to her elderly parents and had to keep going next door to beg her dad to come and get them under control. It was awful, but there you had a grown woman who had married and had children and seemed no more suitable to be a parent than some of the teenagers we condemn.
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Mafdet
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Posted: Tuesday August 30th, 2005 15:56 |
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DrunkMonkey wrote:
What is a "gunge"?
Nevermind that I need someone to translate some of these comments for me oops sorry my bad just realised I was in the Under 18 forum I'm out of here
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Backatya
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Posted: Tuesday August 30th, 2005 16:26 |
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Mafdet wrote: DrunkMonkey wrote:
What is a "gunge"?
Nevermind that I need someone to translate some of these comments for me oops sorry my bad just realised I was in the Under 18 forum I'm out of here
Mafdet
You made the same mistake as me. I was about to ask for translations before I put in my two cents worth, but realised it was the under 18 forum. So like you I best do some stepping....lol
Respect
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Danielle_P
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Posted: Saturday September 3rd, 2005 00:57 |
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hey im new 2 this so i dont no what 2 do on it im 16 years of age and i am pregnant i wish i could have some one to talk 2 but my boyfreind is always in collage i need a frend 2 talk 2 please some one talk 2 me i feel lonly luv danielle xxxx
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little sexy
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Posted: Sunday September 4th, 2005 14:00 |
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 hi my name is little sexy and i recently join aswell personally iam sorry to hav heard u got pregnant at 16 but my opinion is u should of been more careful and ur not the only teenanger pure girls are pregnant in my shcool some of dem dere mum kick dem out the boy saying its not theirs dem ended up on the on road not knowing wat to do and were to go pure chicks made dat mistake even at the age of 12 so ur lucky to hav your boyfiend behind u me personally think u should of been thinking alot about ur education  cas i think u afected ur life by not having further education and having a baby instead its a really big responsiblity to deal wit and its harder 4 the mother cas u hav to provide a lot of things 4 eg ur luv ur attention ur time and a lot more if the dad wasn t going to be there behind u at all. tell me more about ur situation was it wat u wanted , i mean wat are u doing at the moment to survive and to take of ur baby or u getting support from the government and wat is ur boyfiend doin at the moment apart from goin colledge so holla bac peace
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Ladi_Swifty
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Posted: Sunday September 4th, 2005 23:55 |
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Danielle_P wrote: hey im new 2 this so i dont no what 2 do on it im 16 years of age and i am pregnant i wish i could have some one to talk 2 but my boyfreind is always in collage i need a frend 2 talk 2 please some one talk 2 me i feel lonly luv danielle xxxx
++++
Did you use protection? If not then...don't be expecting any friendliness from me.
If you did then...have you told your parents? If my mum ever found that out....wooiii. I wouldn't even be able to get Internet Access cause my ass would be out looking for a shelter. Anyway...I wouldn't advise you to get rid of the baby...cause that would just seem like..such a bad thing to say. You don't have any close friends at all? That's harsh mayn. I've only got one true friend myself, but maybe you could call up a helpline or a counsellor? So you could just let everything out and know that it's not being spread everywhere. I'm not really sure what advice I could give apart from what I just said, it's kinda late to start talking about how you could have prevented this from happening so....just..talk to your parents about it, who knows, you might feel better about things? Even though your childhood is...well...gone now, think of this child as a blessing. You gotta stay positive cause you gotta put that feeling onto your child. Things should turn out ok in the end, when you're older, and your child is older, things will turn out a lot differently. This is just..a hurdle I guess, a mistake. Learn from it.
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Danielle_P
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 14:40 |
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| yes i did use protectshion i was on the pill so i dont see how this happend i have 1 best freind but i dont realy speek 2 her much any more im goin 2 collage soon so hope fully i should get freinds there i have told my mum and dad and they never hit me or my boyfreind they wer just verry disapounted my boyfreind has sed that he dusnot want anythink 2 do with me any more because i moan all the time but i think he just needed a little breack from me were back 2gether now so i will be getting suppourt of him but hes going 2 collage 4 days a week so i wont see him as much thanx for your reply luv Danielle xxxx
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Danielle_P
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 14:48 |
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| hi thnx for your reply i have just found out that i have a place in collage and i get £45 because i am pregnant i am on a young mum to be corse with 13 to 19 year olds my boy frend is suporting me. i probably wont be in collage for long because i am due in december thanx for the reply and if you have msn add me ladybugukok@hotmail.com thanx bye luv Danielle xxxx
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Posted: Tuesday February 27th, 2007 12:52 |
