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chauncy662
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 11:47 |
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i just realised i just failed my first year at university. and now i have to repeat the whole thing again. thing is i'm 20 years old, and at this age i should be at the third year at least. i dont know if i should repeat and pay another tuition fee again or just drop out and get an apprentice or something. i come from a typical african family where university education is seen as the be it or end all and my mum doesnt even know about this(i'm basically dead if she finds out). the thing is my heart is just not in it, but at the same time i have no idea what i want to do with my life. any tips or help will be welcomed thanks.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 11:56 |
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Last edited on Sunday August 15th, 2004 17:27 by The Watcher
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BlackMatta
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 12:02 |
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Last edited on Friday August 20th, 2004 08:14 by
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facetygal
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 13:56 |
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| If ur the same person who was chatting sh*t about asians and indians, then ur mum needs to give u a beat down. You looking for sympathy now cos u failed uni and u don't know what to do with ur life? Awww poor baby, my heart bleeds for u. Well since ur so concerned about the amount of black people owning shops, why don't u use the money to set up a business. Make sure it's legitimate though, u don't want people saying all africans are good for is scamming.
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chauncy662
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 14:05 |
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i wasnt chatting chatting sh*t about asians, i was just giving my opinion. if u got a problem with that. suck it
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facetygal
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 14:27 |
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You wasn't giving an opinion, u were preaching with the mentality of a racist. And if anyone needs to be doing any sucking it's u, cos u'll need the practice on how to suck up to ur mum. 
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chauncy662
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 14:40 |
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i bet your feeling really tough behind those keyboards ha
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abi1
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Posted: Sunday August 15th, 2004 18:22 |
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chauncy662 wrote: i just realised i just failed my first year at university. and now i have to repeat the whole thing again. thing is i'm 20 years old, and at this age i should be at the third year at least. i dont know if i should repeat and pay another tuition fee again or just drop out and get an apprentice or something. i come from a typical african family where university education is seen as the be it or end all and my mum doesnt even know about this(i'm basically dead if she finds out). the thing is my heart is just not in it, but at the same time i have no idea what i want to do with my life. any tips or help will be welcomed thanks.
Hire an Asian tutor...
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Dis Guy
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Posted: Friday August 20th, 2004 03:08 |
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Hire an Asian tutor...
LMAO 
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Mantings
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Posted: Friday August 20th, 2004 08:16 |
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@ chauncy662
I can understand when you say your heart is not in it as I and many of my freinds had simular feelings during our time at Uni.
Are you happy with the degree you are currently studying for? If not why not?
What do you think has caused you to fail your exams?
What are your real interest and goals?
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HAYLEY
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Posted: Friday August 20th, 2004 11:41 |
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Chauncy662, do not despair, If your happy with the course you have selected then keep going. I'm sure you will get there, providing your prepared to put in the time and commitment. If the course does not inspire you then change to something else NOW. I think its never to late to study, so do not worry about age, my mum started her degree at the age of 46 and her masters at 50. I was 25 before I finished uni, I'd failed everything going at secondary school, and had to start from scratch, I really believe its important to keep going. You will get there in the end. Good luck.
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stylishsista
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Posted: Sunday August 22nd, 2004 11:49 |
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OK you failed your 1st year.... but soo do millions.....its about what you do from here that matters....its about enjoying your course, time management, and being able to study hard and cut out the distraction when its needed...focus focus focus...
Modern apprenticeships are also very good depends on your personality...if you are not an academic person ..then maybe its something to consider...after all experience and on the job training are fundermental in securing a future job!!
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Saida.M
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Posted: Sunday August 22nd, 2004 15:21 |
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HAYLEY wrote: Chauncy662, do not despair, If your happy with the course you have selected then keep going. I'm sure you will get there, providing your prepared to put in the time and commitment. If the course does not inspire you then change to something else NOW. I think its never to late to study, so do not worry about age, my mum started her degree at the age of 46 and her masters at 50. I was 25 before I finished uni, I'd failed everything going at secondary school, and had to start from scratch, I really believe its important to keep going. You will get there in the end. Good luck.
Did your mother benefit by her degree when she finished studying?
Well done for keeping on trying!
@chaunchy669
Why not ask yourself why you started your degree in the first place. Then decide if its still what you want. If it is, then try to keep focused on that.
Normally I would say talk to your parents or somebody in your family, but if you can't, is there a uni. councellor that you can talk to about your problem? I should imagine they deal with this type of problem all the time.
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CeeCee
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Posted: Thursday August 26th, 2004 19:12 |
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Chauncy662,
We'll your moms will find out what you're doing one way or another. Life is a chance. Not only must you tell your mom the truth about your situation, but you must also tell her that you want to be happy with your life and you're not quite ready for college or maybe college may not be for you. Only in due time you'll know.I have an aunt, who is almost 42. She has been changing her life piece by piece. She's left my uncle because he haven'r ben treating her right after 25 years being together, she's moved out and now she has a degree in child education and plans to go to school on Alabama. Another thing I will add as part of the obstacles she faced is that she has the usage of one arm( lost during an automobile accident). Even before she did all of this she managed to raise 3 girls, cook ,clean shop you named it she did it. She also has a good job in an elementary school and the people there I quote them" Gee, you do more for a woman with one arm, than with some people with two arms".
I was looking at the news about this man Ray Brent Marsh , a young African-American man who is deep trouble for throwing over 300 dead bodies out in the open fields instead of properly dealing with them for his clients' funerals. I thought about this guy because, he did something that he knew his heart wasn't into. According to some media sources, they said that Ray didn't want the job, but did it anyway. Did he do because it was expected of him or did he take it upon himself because it was family tradition. We don't know, but because is lack of desire of not doing it, he got pathetically lazy about it and now as a result of it , he's most likely will rot in prison and nobody will resepct him because of his incredible disresepct for the dead.
I seriously doubt that this will be your future, but if you're unhappy with what your doing it can cause you a lot of stress, mental/physical problems and mainly unhappiness. I understand that you're African and in you're family it's mandatory that you go, while you don't want to disresepct tradition, you still should to do what is right for you. Just because you choose to go to school late or not at all doesn't make you a loser. If there is anything I've learned is nobody but god knows what is best for you and nobody knows what his plans are other than you know that he will never fail you . What man say is bad, may be better for you. There are many people who never had college educations and they are doing far better than some people who do. It's just how much time, effort and dedication you put into giving it your all. Too often,we do things to please others instead of pleasing ourselves. We want to satisty the status quo. Society say that we have a deadline to meet things. I believe that is why some of us are so stressed out because of this.
I just got my degree and I'm 33. I've should have gotten my degree many moons ago,but like you my heart wasn't in it at time and I was going out of jealousy at the time. My folks would rush me to get my degree at their time, but I had to do what was best for me. wanted no more extra headaches and I thought of it this way : it may have took me a long time to get my bachelors degree, but at least I did not quit nor will I ever and I MEAN ever call myself less than capable because of it. Iwent back to school because I wanted to and I was happy doing what I wanted to do. My mother respects my choice, my dad who I hardly have anything to do with , has this expectation to go to college, the military or both. I went to college, as with my brother and sister. He wanted my brother to join the military than anything, but he didn't go. My dad thought that he was his reason for not going was that he scared in which he wasn't. He just wasn't interested in it. He may have gotten uspet about it, but life is a chance. We wanted to happy, we had to do what was right with us.
You too, have to do the same. It will not be easy as you come from a family with high expectations from you. Explain to her why. To me ,what is the use in you going to school if your mind is not in it?That would be a waste of her money and your time. Far as yourself, I'll keep on exploring your options. In spite of how you feel about college, I still wouldn't leave that out as well. College may not be for you , then maybe as you get older it could be. Do what is best for you and not what society say we have to be.
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HAYLEY
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Posted: Thursday September 9th, 2004 12:29 |
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@ Chauncy662 was just wondering if you had managed to make any decisions yet, did you tell your mum? was she ok with it all? any way hope it all worked out.
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johnny
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Posted: Thursday September 9th, 2004 13:03 |
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| i still havent told her and i dont think i'm gonna. i'm just gonna lie and tell her i qualified to the second year, and then in my third year i will just tell her the truth. that way she will know i still got on without dropping out. the thing with my mum is she does tend to overblow things and if i told her now, trust me my whole family in britain and ghana would know about it, and i will be probably be labelled as some sort of loser, even though i'm sure i'm not the only one in this country who dropped out.
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somalian_chick
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Posted: Friday September 10th, 2004 13:41 |
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I just finished my high school in this summer and I went to the university directly which cause me some problems..I choose a difficult program and I even like that program longer..I just puy some books and if I change it again I have to puy books again, which I dont have that money at all.....I choose univers cuz I had problem back home and I want to be far from that..So my plane was to move from home and drop out of univers and move to UK to start a new life..And it works.. but the problem was money..All my money wen I have saved went to the school and accomadation...I cant go back home cuz my family are angry and they would killed me...
But I think that's life and life will change sooner or later...
once u make misstake u can learn it again and u made experience...
U have start from zero=0 then u can come up to the top...
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CeeCee
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Posted: Tuesday September 14th, 2004 15:00 |
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Johnny,
That's up to you. It's your choice and if you're comfortable with it, that is cool, but do you really think that you can mask this problem without nobody finding out about it?My mother has alway told me what lies in the dark will come to light. You're covering up the truth, but you'll be suprised how the truth can come up in the weirdest ways and to the least expected person. In my former college, if you didn't do well after a couple of times they would send you a letter to tell you about your probation/ suspension or if you couldn't pass a certain test, you couldn't register( on computer we cannot do it on paper). You had to go to the dean of that department and let the get the hold off. I'm not trying to sound mean or convince you to do something that you don't want to do, but you have to think about things like that. Your mom has been in this world longer than you have and she know about the things that have went on in the world. One day she's going to find out about it. If she does what are you going to do? For all we know she could already know about your situation. She could be waiting for you to intiate your explaination.
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itoseb
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Posted: Friday November 5th, 2004 19:09 |
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chauncy662 wrote: i just realised i just failed my first year at university. and now i have to repeat the whole thing again. thing is i'm 20 years old, and at this age i should be at the third year at least. i dont know if i should repeat and pay another tuition fee again or just drop out and get an apprentice or something. i come from a typical african family where university education is seen as the be it or end all and my mum doesnt even know about this(i'm basically dead if she finds out). the thing is my heart is just not in it, but at the same time i have no idea what i want to do with my life. any tips or help will be welcomed thanks.
I know that this reply is a bit late in the day, but all i want to do is to encourage you Chauncy662 to continue with your university education. You will make it! I am absolutely certain of it. Its not the end of the world for you, this is just the beginning of a bright future.
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