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facetygal Villager

| Joined: | Monday February 2nd, 2004 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
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Posted: Monday December 13th, 2004 01:08 |
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Dear Grandma,
It's a year today since you passed away, still think about you each and every day. The pain is still there like it only happened yesterday, but I keep it well hidden behind this masquerade. I try to keep a smile on my face like you always did, but inside, when I'm all alone the crying begins. Uncontrollable floods of tears, when did they start? When did they finish? I don't even know, cos when I cry all I feel is empty sorrow. I touch the chain that holds your ring, then all of a sudden the calming begins. The overwhelming presence that you had when u were alive still preceeds now u have gone. I feel ur love, ever lasting, ever strong.
I never got to really know u like other people did, shame on me for thinking that I had. My bad grandma, my bad. Because I'm sickened to the core when I hear from other people what u were like. I should have taken the time to find out for myself instead of dismissing u, like rubbish that has been left on the bottom of my shoe. I was ur first granddaughter and u were proud of that fact, damn my selfish act! Quite frankly I'm a prat! I wish I could turn back the hands of time, to have everyday with u refined and defined, grandma I'm so sorry for having lost my mind............
So no more soups, no more old soaps, no more QVC. Damn how u love to spend ur money going on a QVC shopping spree! You'd smile with glee at the latest gadget you just bought, and cuss everyone for being a spoil sport! "Grandma can I do a puzzle in your puzzle book?" You'd shout: "No, lef it alone, tell ur daddy fe go buy ur own!" I could never understand the fascination with the puzzle book, but in some strange way u actually got me hooked. So yes grandma now I do buy my own, now I'm all big and grown!
I love u grandma. Even though I never told u I hope u felt it, cos it's true. Everything I do now I do it thinking of u. I try not to hold hatred in my heart, cos I know thats not what u were about, I say that with conviction and not with clout. I hope where u are now residing is a peaceful and tranquil place, u are one true woman who has never fallen from grace. I know where ever u are u "a pop style" in ur pretty hat and ur pretty dress. The most vainest person in the world? No contest! You'd be first, my dad would be runner up, together you'd take home the trophy cup. Well as they say "the apple never falls far from the tree". I see alot of u in dad, people see alot of dad in me.
So let me end it here grandma, as I could go on and on and on. Take care, sleep well, good night.
RIP xxxxxxxxxxx
Last edited on Monday December 13th, 2004 05:08 by facetygal
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shae Villager

| Joined: | Thursday November 4th, 2004 |
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Posted: Monday December 13th, 2004 20:09 |
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i feel you girl...R.I.P Granny
____________________ Never live in the past but always learn from it...
I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose...
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facetygal Villager

| Joined: | Monday February 2nd, 2004 |
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Posted: Monday December 13th, 2004 20:11 |
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| Thank u, much appreciated
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chantel7 Villager

| Joined: | Thursday February 19th, 2004 |
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Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 10:51 |
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Facetygal come girl,..your gran is in a better place now,.. ,..she might not be here pyhsically but she is there with you spiritually,....
Im feelin you when you say you miss her soups and all her hugs,..i want my granny back too,..but that will never happen,....RIP Gran,...
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Failure comes in can'ts.
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facetygal Villager

| Joined: | Monday February 2nd, 2004 |
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Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 11:20 |
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@ chantel7
I know she is in a better place but it doesn't stop me from feeling like sh*t because of the way I treated her. I never got to speak to her before she passed away, so this is like a way for me to get sh*t off my chest. This is only the first yr, I'm sure as time goes on the pain won't be so bad.
P.S sorry to hear about ur gran 
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chantel7 Villager

| Joined: | Thursday February 19th, 2004 |
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Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 11:42 |
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Thanx!! They say time is a healer,...so im sure things will get better in the future,..i know a year is'nt long at all,...your still greiveing,..especially because you did'nt get to say a proper farewell to her and i really sympathise wit that,.......crying does help,....but laughter is better,....
I hope you do feel better in the months or years to come,....you should get all your mates around and have a good chat wit them aswell,.... im so sorry your feelin so down,..i hope xmas will cheer you up a bit,...good luck and take care,.....
____________________ Success comes in cans;
Failure comes in can'ts.
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facetygal Villager

| Joined: | Monday February 2nd, 2004 |
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Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 20:33 |
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@ chantel7
Thanks for that. The killer is my grandma was buried on christmas eve, so the family still has to get through that. I don't intend to mope about though, thats not what my grandma would have wanted, so I will be raving over christmas. Care to join me!
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Backatya Super Moderator

| Joined: | Monday December 15th, 2003 |
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Posted: Friday December 17th, 2004 09:42 |
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Man that poem shows that even a 'facety girl' can have a tender soft side. I felt your pain in that one.
Very touching !
Respect
____________________ Sticks and stones may break my bones but names..........will always get YOU a thump in ya dyaamn 'ead.
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facetygal Villager

| Joined: | Monday February 2nd, 2004 |
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Posted: Friday December 17th, 2004 09:50 |
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@ Backatya
Thank u babes. There's many different sides to this facetygal, stick around and u'll find out 
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Sage Moderator
| Joined: | Friday November 7th, 2003 |
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Posted: Friday December 17th, 2004 11:10 |
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@FG
Wonderful! Wonderful! That was so warm, loving and from the heart, well done.
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