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Respect, Peace and Love
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 01:20 |
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This was actually written by a friend, who asked me to stick it on the forum since she's not a member. It was actually written as a song (verse two was the refrain).
She actually wrote this after a conversation she and I had about how people make you feel like being single is always your own fault for being 'too fussy' etc:
I won't apologise for being sick of being alone
Or for searching for that someone to help build my happy home.
But nor will I apologise for knowing my own worth
Or for wanting to find someone who thinks I'm worth putting first.
I can’t wait to be a wife, and
I can’t wait to share my life
But for refusing to settle for less than I deserve
And for waiting for the magic of a true and lasting love
And for wanting to find someone to share all I have to give
I will not apologise.
All my life I’ve struggled just to get to where I am
That’s the burden and the blessing that a strong black woman has
Sometimes to protect myself I may seem hard as stone
But that doesn’t mean that I deserve to spend my life alone.
And people, please stop saying “it’ll happen any day�
Or “as soon as you stop looking, Mr Right will come your way�.
I know there’s someone out there whose life I could make complete
I just wish there was a way I could ensure we’d ever meet….
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Incognito
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 12:10 |
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More strong black woman sh!t - probably one of babylons daughters..
Q. Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullsh!t in order to be comfortable?
A. That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
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Incognito
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 12:12 |
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Know who it is you need to be strong against!
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blessingfromgod
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 20:02 |
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Incognito wrote: More strong black woman sh!t - probably one of babylons daughters.. THAT'S A BIT UNNECESSARY DONTCHA THINK!
Q. Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullsh!t in order to be comfortable?
A. That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
@RPL nice poem from your friend. 
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Incognito
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 20:06 |
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BFG - For real. There's a lot of sadness in the world. Quite sad. I must learn to be more sensitive.
And remember, where there's God, loneliness is a walk in the park.
Last edited on Friday March 16th, 2007 20:08 by Incognito
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Black_Power
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 20:18 |
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Incognito wrote: More strong black woman sh!t - probably one of babylons daughters..
Q. Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullsh!t in order to be comfortable?
A. That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
co-sign
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Respect, Peace and Love
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 23:21 |
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I suggested that my friend post her own response to the negative stuff you said about her song, but she didn't want to
But personally, I just wanted to say that I think (and hopefully she agrees with me) that you clearly missed the point of it and focussed on a single line that represents a part of her reality.
If she feels she's a strong black woman, and that being so is a burden and a blessing, who are you to judge her?
But actually, the song (and I know she agrees with me on this) is about being okay with being single even if being single is not what you ultimately want - by consciously choosing not to settle for less than you deserve.
Damn!! Why people always got to pick on something negative!! If you don't like her words, that's your prerogative, but there's no need to be so mean about it!!
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 23:32 |
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| Respect..you and your friend should not tek it personally.....in my view any words, songs or lyrics the engenders a reaction is GOOD!!! and the fact that people posted a view is a positive that your friend should take with her and build on, rather than see it as a negative its certainly not keep on trucking!!!!
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Incognito
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Posted: Friday March 16th, 2007 23:45 |
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RPL - RIP.
Not really. I ask for your forgiveness. The ability for your friend to write a song as a means of finding peace is extremely admirable. A lesser person would have jumped off a bridge.
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Happiness
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Posted: Sunday March 18th, 2007 14:03 |
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Respect, Peace and Love wrote: This was actually written by a friend, who asked me to stick it on the forum since she's not a member. It was actually written as a song (verse two was the refrain).
She actually wrote this after a conversation she and I had about how people make you feel like being single is always your own fault for being 'too fussy' etc:
I won't apologise for being sick of being alone
Or for searching for that someone to help build my happy home.
But nor will I apologise for knowing my own worth
Or for wanting to find someone who thinks I'm worth putting first.
I can’t wait to be a wife, and
I can’t wait to share my life
But for refusing to settle for less than I deserve
And for waiting for the magic of a true and lasting love
And for wanting to find someone to share all I have to give
I will not apologise.
All my life I’ve struggled just to get to where I am
That’s the burden and the blessing that a strong black woman has
Sometimes to protect myself I may seem hard as stone
But that doesn’t mean that I deserve to spend my life alone.
And people, please stop saying “it’ll happen any day�
Or “as soon as you stop looking, Mr Right will come your way�.
I know there’s someone out there whose life I could make complete
I just wish there was a way I could ensure we’d ever meet….
RPL- just wanted to give your friend some encouragement. Dont pay Igncognito any mind - you have to know him to understand why he reacted as he did to the song. Having said that, I do undertand why he had a gut reaction to your friend's song.
I am the quintessential strong, black woman and I absolutely believe that there is nothing wrong in knowing your own worth. But in the quest for a husband it is probably more important to know the worth of your man and to focus on preparing yourself for that role of wife.
It's a 2 way street, you know, it s not just about you going out there "selecting" - its also about you asking yourself: what makes me so special that the man that I would select would, in fact, also select me?
just my thoughts.
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If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human" ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Monday March 19th, 2007 13:53 |
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Im fed up with it as well. This " Im too good for most black men/ strong black woman looking for prince charming bollocks." is almost the norm wherever you open a magazine or newspaper.
Curl up and die then.
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Incognito
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Posted: Monday March 19th, 2007 18:45 |
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Man I've hooked up with three homeboys I haven't seen for a while and damn they all dwelling with greys. Man I just had to grin and bare it - I'm sure they too got a poem about not apologising.
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Respect, Peace and Love
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Posted: Monday March 19th, 2007 21:34 |
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Thanks to all the encouraging people in here.
I'm pretty vex that my friend won't come in here and post her own comments, but sod it, I have something to say.
Like my friend, I am black, a woman, and have overcome a lot of adversity and therefore feel I am well within my rights to identify myself as a Strong Black woman without expecting to be beaten down by the nearest black man.
And somebody, please, educate me as to how being a strong black woman, and/or knowing one's own worth, equates to "I'm too good for most black men"?
Sounds like some people here are insecure about their OWN worth, frankly.
I love black men, and I dream about finding the right one to spend the rest of my life with. But that does not mean I have to settle for the first man that comes along and treats me like crap. In my life I've been in love with a man who physically abused me, in a relationship with another who tried to emotionally abuse me, and one guy who tried to bleed me dry (financially). I don't believe that has anything to do with the fact that they were black. ANY man could treat a woman that way. It just so happens I was with BLACK men who treated me that way, because my preference is to be with a black man. My friend (who wrote the poem) also prefers black guys. I've seen some amazing, beautiful examples of black men and women in great relationships, and THAT is what I aspire to.
Why shouldn't we choose to be with men who treat us like we're special, and important, and worth coming home to every day for the rest of their lives?
*kmt*
sorry, but I get vex when people imply that being proud of who you are and not allowing anyone to take that away from you makes you some kind of stuck up b!tch.
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Respect, Peace and Love
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Posted: Monday March 19th, 2007 22:17 |
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Thought I was done, but I'm still vex...
I'm speaking only for myself now, not at all for my friend, but I also want to add something.
At the risk of attracting a verbal beat-down, I can tell you this: I am a kind, generous, respectful woman who loves making people happy. Making people happy is my motivation. Knowing that I am this type of person does not mean I am an arrogant person, and nor does it mean I think I am a suitable partner for any old person.
I know that should the right man come along, and if I recognise him as such, I will devote myself (without necessarily abandoning my personal goals) to making the relationship work and making him happy. I have never been a selfish girlfriend, and I see no reason why I should start now.
But given that I know I am a loving, giving person, it's probably more important than ever that I ensure I find someone (unlike my exes) who will not take advantage of that. Is that wrong of me?
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comfortandjoy
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Posted: Monday March 19th, 2007 22:35 |
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Respect, Peace and Love wrote:
But given that I know I am a loving, giving person, it's probably more important than ever that I ensure I find someone (unlike my exes) who will not take advantage of that. Is that wrong of me?
Nope. Not at all. Don't apologise.
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Monday March 19th, 2007 23:39 |
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Respect, Peace and Love wrote: Thanks to all the encouraging people in here.
I'm pretty vex that my friend won't come in here and post her own comments, but sod it, I have something to say.
Like my friend, I am black, a woman, and have overcome a lot of adversity (havent we all) and therefore feel I am well within my rights to identify myself as a Strong Black woman without expecting to be beaten down by the nearest black man.
And somebody, please, educate me as to how being a strong black woman, and/or knowing one's own worth, equates to "I'm too good for most black men"?
Well let me quote the poem.. can’t wait to be a wife, and
I can’t wait to share my life
But for refusing to settle for less than I deserve
Does that not imply that since your friend cannot find anybody worthy of her love then the majority of men she encounters are not worthy? Why does someone deserve a good man. Is there a favour bank that your worthyness is deposited in that demands that you can make a withdrawal at a later date and get "what you deserve". Nobody deserves nothing in this life. Most people have to earn sh*t. As for this "strong black woman" sh*t we are all strong. We have no choice in this society. Otherwise you curl up and die. Is the millions of children who dont get no food strong? Is the black man who carves out a career or a living for himself strong? Go to parts of the world where women have NOTHING. They have f**k all. No dole/ no free housing/ no job to earn money in a office and pick up the children from the after school club. Why the hell is someone strong for doing what is expected of them?
Sounds like some people here are insecure about their OWN worth, frankly.
I love black men, and I dream about finding the right one to spend the rest of my life with. But that does not mean I have to settle for the first man that comes along and treats me like crap. In my life I've been in love with a man who physically abused me, in a relationship with another who tried to emotionally abuse me, and one guy who tried to bleed me dry (financially). I don't believe that has anything to do with the fact that they were black. ANY man could treat a woman that way. It just so happens I was with BLACK men who treated me that way, because my preference is to be with a black man. My friend (who wrote the poem) also prefers black guys. I've seen some amazing, beautiful examples of black men and women in great relationships, and THAT is what I aspire to.
Seems like you mad bad choices. Nothing to be ashamed off mind you. Its called experinece.
Why shouldn't we choose to be with men who treat us like we're special, and important, and worth coming home to every day for the rest of their lives?
*kmt*
sorry, but I get vex when people imply that being proud of who you are and not allowing anyone to take that away from you makes you some kind of stuck up b!tch.
Seems like common sense that you or your friend will not pick up with the first person you meet. Only a fool does. So why state the obvious. I'll tell why this attitude pisses me off no end. This poem is nothing more than a lamentation on the quality and worthyness of black men out there..packaged in nice prose..is every man supposed to treat you like your special and important. What if they dont think your special. What then? Are they wotless? In my experince poeple will treat people accordingly in most cases. Whether friend/lover/wife or husband. If the treatment is not reciprical then they are not for you. Simple tings.
Not going to apologise? Apologise to who BTW? Granny/ Aunty/ Mummy/ Daddy.. the Father himself? Who is the apology for?
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Respect, Peace and Love
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Posted: Tuesday March 20th, 2007 00:34 |
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Bredder Tukoma, out of all the women you have ever met in your life, how many were suitable for you to marry?
The majority of people you meet will not be your soulmate or the person you spend your life with. This does not mean there isn't somebody out there for them, or that they don't deserve to be happy.
She is an amazing person, and therefore I personally believe she does deserve a good man. But even if, as you so eloquently put it, there's no 'favour bank' where you can make withdrawals, why shouldn't she decide what her bullsh!t limit is an aim only above that bar? It's all personal. Not everybody's a perfect match for everybody else.
And by identifying herself as a Strong Black Woman, why the  do people keep assuming she's saying nobody else is? Claiming that she is a Strong Black Woman is not the same as saying you are better than everybody/anybody else! It's only about your own personal self-identity. If I identify myself as British, am I claiming by proxy that the white lady next door, or the Asian-born kid across the road are less British than I am? No!! I'm simply stating that being British is part of MY identity!
AND EXCUSE ME, but how is preferring a loving relationship to singledom, but singledom to being treated like crap, any kind of attack on the worthiness of the Black Man? I must be comletely missing something here, but I can't see anywhere in the lyrics where it says "The black man is wotless and black men are not worthy of me". Of course not every man is going to treat us like we're special - but personally, like my friend, I am willing to wait for one who is!!! Why does that vex you so much?? Am I not entitled to choose to be with someone who loves me the way I choose to be loved? If I meet a man, and he's nice but doesn't think I'm special, I'm perfectly okay with that - but he's not for me, and he's not going to be the man I want to spend my life with!! I'm not disputing that!
And as for the title and theme of the poem/song, if you don't get it I'm not going to explain it to you. This song obviously wasn't meant for you.
If she wants to come in here and explain it, that's up to her.
Last edited on Tuesday March 20th, 2007 00:42 by Respect, Peace and Love
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Tuesday March 20th, 2007 00:43 |
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Respect, Peace & Love
you wrote:
She is an amazing person, and therefore I personally believe she does deserve a good man.
Guinea chick seh fi him pickney pretty.. and Jancrow seh fi him pickney a powder puff.
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