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UNCLAIMED
 Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya  

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Burning Monk
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Joined: Friday February 4th, 2005
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 Posted: Tuesday July 19th, 2005 09:04

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Hello peps,

This is something I put in for the Amnesty International stop violence against women contest a while ago. As I am not registered to the kind of organisations that analyse and criticise poetry, free verse I thought I’ll drop it here. Here it is; it is called UNCLAIMED. It is loosely based on a slavery tale scenario about the kind of situations that are currently happening in Islamic-Arabic, African nations such as Niger.


 



UNCLAIMED




Holds to the bowl



Of a chief’s house has snapped



His living stream



Ceased pouring from the flask,



What has happened



To my inheritance



A son now asks?





What has happened?



The day you heard the sound of creaking echoes



Echo back piercing through your anvil?



It was the weaker vessel of your home



Some thought, he had a grip



But when you heard her frame finally succumb



It was not because of freedom



That she squealed her writhen song





What has happened to my inheritance,



You now ask?



When the residues of her dissolved



Like white ash



And the wind whisked her away



Leaving the scent only of mace



Can’t you see?





 



Your would-be kingdom fell the day



He clenched, tightly seized



The most faithful



"To let her off"



"Make her go!"



"What good was she?"



"Not worth the task



So was your mother



His shadow to surrender



Because another blood flew in her



Her type were the Noirs





And half of you is she, you see



But do you know your other?



Of the native kind



In Niamey, Niger?



 



Goaded on by his own mother



Against a people of the corner



Her people, yours true!



Stripped down, unveiled, unmasked



For all she was not



His better half





 



So what has happened to your well you still ask?



Now the water has stopped pouring



From his fragile flask



And the handle that was torn



Away from his black kettle



His weaker vessel



A damsel to bend the back





No, she coughed, you see!



Yes she piped



She popped,



Eclipsed indeed!



 



Who could have told the chief?



Of his position with no heir



That before the vessel came crashing



His only hope,



His kingdom was divided as spoils





His living well was well, exposed!



The locals of his hold thirsty



The remains of the drinking bowl



Blew to enemies



The people his mother cursed



The shadows he barked at



Now they talk back



"Drink from us



And taste your own mercy"





 



This is your inheritance



Son of his well



This is your piece



Hot and hollow



All of him, and his shells



That are found worthless



And he left hanging



His tounge lying to you:





"Fathers are the ones that eat unripe



Grapes, but it is the teeth of the sons that



Get set on edge." *





How will you drink now?



                                   * taken from Ezekiel 18:1 (the Bible)


Wrote it to blow off some steam as I do. As of yet I have not a reply from AI, but I thought Id put it here. Reviews would be appreciated.

Burning Monk



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Judges 8:21 new international version


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Burning Monk
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 Posted: Sunday August 14th, 2005 14:00

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This wraps up, and is my second entry for the Amnesty International contest - stop violence against women 2005.


(By the term Babes I don't mean to say funky female, but babe as in unlearned or child-like. What Christ meant when he said "out-of-the mouth of babes")

As for the use of x, and y’s
Remember x's and y axis you learnt in maths?.. or are we taking about x/y chromosomes?


EQUATION TO BABES

X assemblies the mass of weapons
X says for your own good

X Assesses the tools to do
Runs it like a rule

But why give in?
Y give him?
You are worth?
Answer please?

X gathers game for a dinner
Can’t ask why, don’t say where
X rakes it makes it, takes it the bread winner
For all home for them there


X promises x folks of a voyage
Before x was missing, changing
Fading
x warned off x folks off the storage


The same that x was taking

Why X crossed with y?
Under the Cross of Holy matrimony
As one flesh
In one name


Then why pick his up
Lick
Ex up?!
Hitch
Y?



Get up now
Make your own rules
Catch up,
Up
Find him quick
Summon yourself
And get your answer


Burning Monk



____________________
"Come, do it yourself. 'As is the man, so is his strength.' "

Judges 8:21 new international version


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Burning Monk
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Joined: Friday February 4th, 2005
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 Posted: Sunday August 14th, 2005 14:53

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Looking back to my first entry I realise how difficult it may be to read, because it scrolls down too long a bit. To make it easier on the eyes I have edited it.

Because we live in a post-structuralism/ post-modern age of literature I don’t feel I need to get into why I don’t have this in traditional verse/stanza rhyme style. But I hope that the content if studied of felt speaks for itself. I think the content goes beyond the style in this case, though I am using a style I fancy. Anyway, this is highly metaphorical so I wouldn’t advise trying to figure out what is meant by something or another. But rather what could it mean, knowing what you do about servitude, and the female sex as they are said to be; the weaker vessel.

In addition to that rural kingdoms, and father based inheritance. There are a lot of themes explored here, but parts of the facts were based on BBC WORLD-like reports on Niger servitude.

Remember the scripture in the book of Joshua, how the weaker people would be hewers of water and stone? Such is reality.

Still the poem is a myth.

 

UNCLAIMED

 

Holds to the bowl
Of a chief’s house has snapped
His living stream
Ceased pouring from the flask,
What has happened
To my inheritance 
His son now asks? 



What has happened?
The day you heard the sound of creaking echoes
Echo back piercing through your anvil?
It was the weaker vessel of your home 
Some thought, he had a grip
But when you heard her frame finally succumb
It was not because of freedom
That she squealed her writhen song 

 
What has happened to my inheritance,
You now ask?
When the residues of her dissolved
Like white ash? 
And the wind whisked her away
Leaving the scent only of mace
Can’t you see? 


Your would-be kingdom fell the day
He clenched, tightly seized
The most faithful;
"To let her off"
"Make her go!"
"What good was she?"
"Not worth the task!" 
 

So was your mother
His shadow to surrender
Because another blood flew in her
Her type were the Noirs 
And half of you is she, you see
But do you know your other?
Of the native kind
In Niamey, Niger? 

 
Goaded on by his own mother
Against a people of the corner
Her people, yours true
Stripped down, unveiled, unmasked
For all she was not
His better half 


So what has happened to your well you still ask?
Now the water has stopped pouring
From his fragile flask
And the handle that was torn
Away from his black kettle 
His weaker vessel
A damsel to bend the back 

 
No, she coughed, you see!
Yes she piped
She popped through heat,
Eclipsed indeed! 

 
Who could have told your late chief?
Of his position with no heir
That before the vessel came crashing
His only hope,
His kingdom was divided as spoils
His living well was well, exposed!


 

The locals of his hold thirsty
The remains of the drinking bowl
Blew to enemies 
The people his mother cursed
The shadows he barked at
Now they talk back
"Drink from us
And taste your own mercy" 

 
This is your inheritance
Son of his well
This is your piece
Hot and hollow 



All of him, and his shells
That are found worthless
And he left hanging

His tounge lying to you:

"Fathers are the ones that eat unripe
Grapes, but it is the teeth of the sons that
Get set on edge." * 



How will you drink now? 



* this bit was taken from Ezekiel 18:1 (the Bible) 

 

I like the first line of the poem.

 Burning Monk






____________________
"Come, do it yourself. 'As is the man, so is his strength.' "

Judges 8:21 new international version


____________________
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