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femalepoet
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Posted: Thursday April 14th, 2005 14:28 |
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Is it culture that has created this stero type of the black man?
Do not be deluded by what was and still is in many 3rd world countries
As there are so many rules and regulations to abide by in these cultures, many of which people of today find as repulsive and disrespect (the list is endless) ……
Is it right to change what man has known for centuries since his father, his grandfather(s) and even his ancestors? The question needed asking is what makes it right in the first place to womanize, disrespect and mistreat is it the fact that for many years our culture has permitted man to marry more than one wife?
I focus on the black men of today as western culture does not speak freely of this custom as 3rd world culture. Where is the line truly draw, where does the respect and self honour start?
Society has meant for man to be with a woman this is also defined as companionship, love ad even friendship it does not create the impression that man was meant for women neither was Adam created for Eve, Anna, Roshni, Yvonne, Lisa or even for Mark
If you discard culture and society putting the focus on religion you can gain the understanding required in the explanation of my analysis, as many 3rd world countries are strict with religion alongside their beliefs.
I aim this at Christianity for the simple fact of the Adam and Eve theory above, if anything religion is highly respected and followed by many, so than how hard can it be to release that the blessing of one woman is enough. And the abundance of women brings about confusion, kaos, betrayal and even confession.
Even today the black man has become stero typed for so many reasons, who listen to these stero types you ask! As unimportant as they may be, women continuously find that black man live up to these so called unimportant stero types causing failure within relationships.
I am not dismissing the fact that’s woman have as an equal role to play within this failure but at present I am focusing on the black male and the example they are setting, the name they are giving to them self’s. What happened to romance within black culture is it dead? And do our young, middle aged and old black men still understand the word romance?
Why is it easier for black men to settle for casual intimacy? Not with one partner but with many yet clam to want a stress free life DEVOTING YOURSELF TO ONE WOMAN would help matter greatly! Why does the woman become seconded best in mid relationship after months and months of risking to open up to another person, sharing thoughts, intimacy, life’s experiences and then having to compromise with her partner’s new lifestyle, hobby or love interest is this when the womanizing starts
What happened to wining and dining a woman, evenings out, cosy nights in, chocolates, flowers, lingerie and meaningful gifts but now a days black men have decided evenings out are with the guys and cosy nights in are for broke days or when no ones up for a night out, the rest is history. What happened to appreciating a woman beyond intimacy?
Black men feel comfortable after a while and forget the sweet, little and big gestures they use to make when what they should be trying to do with the woman as a team is keeping a relationship balance. When do you feel you have lost the balance? What can be done to keep a balance? Why can black men not be romantic for a change? For the long term not short!
Last edited on Thursday April 14th, 2005 14:36 by femalepoet
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Shariff
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Posted: Thursday April 14th, 2005 15:31 |
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Good piece.
"Why can black men not be romantic for a change? For the long term not short"
If I may, seems the speaker is searching for a nice guy
Problem is, he's an extremely rare, endangered species nowadays
becuz thugz get all the play
yeah u SAY u want mr. nice guy
but then u straight up pass him by
cuz mr. playa is a nicer high
and the eternal mystery remains
why u're shocked and pissed
when mr. playa plays u!
Duh-uh! That's what playas do!
Nuff respect, Female Poet. Peace.
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femalepoet
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Posted: Thursday April 14th, 2005 20:09 |
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Thanks for taking the time to read up on my piece and further more having an opinion on it! The relevance of this piece was to question the modern day black male, his cultural influences, society's social prospective linking to romance and its essence not based on the search of mr nice guy as you put it or the characteristics of a player
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Shariff
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Posted: Thursday April 14th, 2005 20:34 |
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| Gotcha. One love.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Friday April 15th, 2005 01:29 |
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**kiss Teet** i stopped reading after i saw the use of "3rd world country" which i am quite sure the writer is using to refer to Afirca  .
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femalepoet
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Posted: Friday April 15th, 2005 10:39 |
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| My intention for this piece was not to generalize but to question and gain understanding! and for your information the term 3rd world countires represents many other countries Africa just being one of them and as i mentioned in the beginning this piece was not for generalizing so I did not feel the need to name countires like Nigeria, Ghana, Togo, South Africa...etc because readers would then assume that I was generalizing their country and its black men but i guess your indivdualality does not allow you to see it in those terms. Apologise but really you should be much more open minded, it is not like I am using the term 3rd world countries to refer to a poverty / racist topic that would be something for you to talk about. Even so society has come to understand the way that term is used in order not to generalize or offend any one
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Abissinia
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 09:02 |
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Don’t care about all the other countries that come under the same definition… but in your opinion what does the term 3rd world mean to you when used to refer to Africa? When it should really be 1st world seeing that Africans were building and running great civilizations such as Kemit and Nubia, when over here in Europe they were still living in caves and eating raw meet…
We do tend to rank things we think as the best (1st) and last is usually the worst so doesn’t ranking Africa as 3rd implies that the so called 1st world (Europe & North America) is better? Bear in mind that the term is not just used to describe economic development.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 09:24 |
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What happened to wining and dining a woman, evenings out, cosy nights in, chocolates, flowers, lingerie and meaningful gifts
Whose standards of romance is this??
This is mere materialistic crap. There is nothing in this about actualy respecting or cherishing a woman for who she is or appreciating her. There is merely buying her stuff as if she is a child to be indulged and spoiled or even worse somebody to be bribed for favours. Not romantic to me hunnybunny.
Its not about "sweet, little or big gestures" What is gestures but ACTS of romance. An ACT is what it is in name and practice. Nothing of substance there.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 09:49 |
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Lol DM
And this clueless person thinks she can educate the BN men about modern romance. Methinks she'll do better to leave the not so poetry writing and get to reading, starting from the black roots forum.
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 10:24 |
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DrunkMonkey wrote:
Whose standards of romance is this??
This is mere materialistic crap. There is nothing in this about actualy respecting or cherishing a woman for who she is or appreciating her. There is merely buying her stuff as if she is a child to be indulged and spoiled or even worse somebody to be bribed for favours. Not romantic to me hunnybunny.
Its not about "sweet, little or big gestures" What is gestures but ACTS of romance. An ACT is what it is in name and practice. Nothing of substance there.
DM i think your deliberately misunderstanding what FP is trying to say here.
She obviously doesnt mean you literally have to go out and spend hundreds of pounds on a woman.She actually said its the ''small'' gestures that matter.
Last edited on Saturday April 16th, 2005 10:26 by NativeTongue
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The Watcher
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 11:05 |
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NT
Think you need to read the thing in full again. It makes a whole big deal of assumptions about the black man and so on declaring that
Why can black men not be romantic for a change?
So Im asking what are these standards of romance she is talking about and who is she comparing us to and why?
Switch this whole thing around and substitute the word man for woman and see how far you get...
Somehow we men get too "comfortable" and start taking advantage, indulging ourselves in hobbys and life intrests. LOL Who wants somebody that is NOT interested in life? Is a person to be so wrapped up in the essence of their partner to the exclusion of ALL else in existence?
Apparently we men are prone to womanizing... and the way to combat this is winning and dinning
Sorry NT I dont see how Im misunderstanding anything. I think this is a rant disguised as nice poetry. Not having it. If the author keeps meeting womanising men who dont buy her enough gifts and take her everywhere or get chocolates (lol) or men who are obessively devoted to her every waking moment then that is HER bag of luggage. Not a standard for you and I to uphold.
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 11:29 |
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hmm, obviously you and i are taking totally different things from this piece.
personally the message im coming away with is that black menand women need to love and cherish each other.
thats no bad thing imho.
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 11:31 |
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another thing im getting from your post is that somehow Romance is a European ideal ansd somehow not befitting the Black Man.
can you clarify this for me?
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dimoke
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 11:39 |
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Lol...this poem is joke...just like that Jason whatever's poem going on about women being b**ches blahh blahh and calling it poetry to disguise something....duno
I am a sod romantic and love reading poetry, however this poem is nothing but a silly and unitteligent piss of crap......lol
I have read the whole thing and its amazing that for a poem thats talking about ROMANCE, it seems to be more about DEMANDS, insults and just rubish none sense.....no love there at all........
Last edited on Saturday April 16th, 2005 11:44 by dimoke
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The Watcher
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 11:54 |
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NT
Indeed I think we are seeing different things LOL
personally the message im coming away with is that black menand women need to love and cherish each other.
That is fair enough an ideal we would all agree with. I dont see that in the poem. I see demands and accusations as dimoke said. I have seen far better and more positive poems cherishing or encouraging black love. I have also seen chastising ones that made actual sense and not sound like bitter moaning.
You or I could write a better poem calling for more love and understanding between black men and women NT.
another thing im getting from your post is that somehow Romance is a European ideal ansd somehow not befitting the Black Man.
can you clarify this for me?
Cherishing and respecting or loving your partner is a universal ideal. We are all capable of expressing love and we all need companionship. Romance AS DESCRIBED IN THE POEM in terms of what you buy for somebody and where you take them, is to me a European construct. Nothing wrong with that NT, but I think there is more to actual romance and love than the superficial stuff spoken about here.
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:13 |
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dimoke wrote: Lol...this poem is joke...just like that Jason whatever's poem going on about women being b**ches blahh blahh and calling it poetry to disguise something....duno
I am a sod romantic and love reading poetry, however this poem is nothing but a silly and unitteligent piss of crap......lol
I have read the whole thing and its amazing that for a poem thats talking about ROMANCE, it seems to be more about DEMANDS, insults and just rubish none sense.....no love there at all........
dimoke if you dont like it why be so dismissive.just ignore it, i dont understand why the negativity.
you could at least be more constructive in your criticism IMHO.
Last edited on Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:13 by NativeTongue
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:15 |
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DrunkMonkey wrote:
Romance AS DESCRIBED IN THE POEM in terms of what you buy for somebody and where you take them, is to me a European construct. Nothing wrong with that NT, but I think there is more to actual romance and love than the superficial stuff spoken about here.
sorry cant go with you on that, at all.do you have any links to any sources that might prove that.
Last edited on Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:16 by NativeTongue
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The Watcher
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:35 |
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Links to sources?
You mean somebody has to have said something first in order for you to listen to me? That my own reasoning and opinions are irrelevant unless somebody else wrote them down somewhere on the net first?
Interesting.... What then is the point of conversation if all you want to do is quote previous conversations?
DM
I think there is more to actual romance and love than the superficial stuff spoken about here.
NT
sorry cant go with you on that, at all.do you have any links to any sources that might prove that.
NT if you think romance is all about what you buy somebody then I dont think you will last long with anyone. That sort of thing is all about instant gratification and a little buzz. It soon runs out. You need more solid foundations than that.
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:51 |
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DrunkMonkey wrote: Links to sources?
You mean somebody has to have said something first in order for you to listen to me? That my own reasoning and opinions are irrelevant unless somebody else wrote them down somewhere on the net first?
Interesting.... What then is the point of conversation if all you want to do is quote previous conversations?
nope it adds weight to your statements if you can quote from recognised palaeoanthropologists or sociologists who back up your argument.
otherwise it remains your personal opinion and i shall attach appropriate validity.
NT if you think romance is all about what you buy somebody then I dont think you will last long with anyone. That sort of thing is all about instant gratification and a little buzz. It soon runs out. You need more solid foundations than that.
No once again you're misunderstanding what the author is saying.She talked about small gestures we used to make.
This has nothing to do with materialism.You have made that anissue here, and to be honest im really struggling to understand why.
Last edited on Saturday April 16th, 2005 12:52 by NativeTongue
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Backatya
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 13:20 |
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The piece seems to have evoked much debate...unusual for something posted on the Poetry thread. However, I found it rather confusing and unstructured. Maybe the poetry board is not the forum for it, because its seems more to be a 'point of view being put across' rather than a creative piece of writing attemnpting to invoke something in the reader, or to implant some image.
I see it really as a series of thoughts (not well connected even though they may relate to a common theme) coming from a perspective that is very much biased (my perception) by personal experience rather than one which benefits from an holistic view of the world.
The 'romance' title is somewhat misleading since the content tends to wander all over the place making it difficult to understand precisely what the writer is saying about romance........other than maybe, "Black men don't do enough". A view that is in itself open to much debate and one which should start with a definition of what we mean by romance....something not attempted in the piece.
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 13:37 |
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backatya i agree, theres some confusion because a) its not actually a poem
b) its not even a fictional account
its actually an 'essay' about Romance.
it would probably bebetter off in another forum.
never the less despite its flaws i think there is some truth to the argument, i dont see that shes generalising about ALL black men to be honest, but of course different people will be taking different things from this piece.
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Posted: Saturday April 16th, 2005 13:49 |
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NATIVE TONGUE
nope it adds weight to your statements if you can quote from recognised palaeoanthropologists or sociologists who back up your argument.
otherwise it remains your personal opinion and i shall attach appropriate validity.
NAH!!
We are talking about an abstract concept "Romance" as defined in a poem whereby any judgement is purely subjective and open to reasoned discussion.
Nobody can be an expert when we are sharing our opinions on a peice of poetry as it stands nor when discussing unscientific matters such a defining Romance. My opinion is as important if not more so than any anthropologist you dig up in this instance since I am talking in context of this particular peice above.
No once again you're misunderstanding what the author is saying.She talked about small gestures we used to make.
Unless you are the author yourself then you are interpreting the words on the page and forming opinions the same way I am. That we come to different conclusion does not enable you to tell me I am misunderstanding, that is arrogance. Only the author can do that.
This has nothing to do with materialism.You have made that anissue here, and to be honest im really struggling to understand why.
Because I am reading the words of the poem, not what I want it to be about... but what it is.
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Posted: Wednesday April 20th, 2005 19:38 |
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| I can't help feeling that most opinions on this piece are merely just that. has anyone just stopped to hear the words in the way they are written. how does 1 define poetry/ how does 1 define the spoken word? are you unable to see the questioning inside the poetry, would it not be fair to say that f. poet is expressing and questioning all in one? why is this not poetry. who are you to decide that? are you unable to see beyond the words and understand that she is talking about romance not MATERIAL gifts but the thought that lead to the gift, the love that lead to the thought. Why must you rubbish peoples creativity, and stiffle it with small minded opinions. DOES IT MAKE YA'LL FEEL BETTER BOUT YOURSELVES?
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Posted: Thursday April 21st, 2005 12:12 |
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Romance is dead. Finance is king. 
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