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| Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya |
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LadyDay
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Posted: Tuesday March 20th, 2007 23:42 |
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oh my what a temper
it seems that terrible twos has come early. his gran says its cos he was born after 7 months. prem baby...wonder if he waited a bit longer he would be different
anyway. what am i to do. he really has a temper and is not afraid to show it. he let off one piece of tantrum to the point he had to fight the crying - you know when you was young and you couldnt stop crying - that style.
hubs put him in his chair and firmly told him to stop and he started to calm down. he stayed in his chair for quite some time and waited till he was told he could get up. its like he knew he had to have been well calm and collected
so has anyone with children experienced this. im dealing with a boy 18mnths old here....i guess its a stage as once he can speak he will just say whats on his mind.
i still dont get the dashing ya self on the floor though
my friends son does that quietly the whole dashing ya self on the floor
so what do ya suggest
how did you cope.
and no he didnt get a smack, just a threat of it.
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Vezz.
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Posted: Wednesday March 21st, 2007 07:08 |
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I don't agree with smacking a child when they have a tantrum. I think that should be reserved for "special occasions", i.e they could hurt themselves.
Interesting that he knew he had to sit in his chair and not get up until he was told. I think you're doing a great job raising him, as he listens and shows respect already.
The TT's are just a way of him pushing & establishing boundaries, and he seems to know his, so keep up the good work!
I've got all this to come!
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ac9311
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| Joined: | Thursday March 25th, 2004 |
| Location: | DFW, Texas USA |
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Posted: Wednesday March 21st, 2007 09:00 |
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I feel for you ladies. My wife and I have been through it three times. All boys. The funny thing is they all went through it at different ages. Anywhere from two to four. LadyDay if your son is responding to a stern warning from you and his father you may not have to spank him at all. All children do not respond to spankings. If talking to him is what works for him I would just keep doing that until he no longer pays attention.
He sounds like a very intelligent boy to me to have that level of understanding and discipline at 18 months. His temper says to me that he is a strong willed boy. Our first and second born sons were that way. I was like you, I was about to pull my hair out searching for answers. I talked to so many people trying to compare notes.
For example our first born was the same way. I could look at him and raise my voice and stop him in his tracks. Our middle son was and is so stubborn, spankings raised voice you name it nothing would get through to him. Until I started taking toys and privileges away. Our youngest boy, just the threat of a spanking and he starts crying.
Having said all of that, you really have to be very attentive to what makes him tick. If you pay close attention to the way he reacts to you and your husband you will see something that will let you know what kind of discipline will work best for him.
Sorry for being so long winded.
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LadyDay
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Posted: Wednesday March 21st, 2007 13:37 |
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vezz and ac thanks for your replies
i dont smack when he has a tantrum. i ignore that behaviour. because in the end he needs to pick himself up off the floor and compose himself. i justhope he gets it out of his system now so when he does reach 2 he aint bad
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Think outside of the box...Think in spirit
Act as if it were impossible to fail!!!
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Incognito
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| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
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Posted: Friday April 20th, 2007 15:13 |
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You can always try this...just don't get caught....
Four women who forced two toddlers to fight and filmed them punching each other have each been given 12-month suspended sentences.
Zara Care, 29, Carole Olver, 48, Serenza Olver, 29, and Danielle Olver, 19, all members of the same family from Plymouth, Devon, had pleaded guilty to child cruelty at an earlier hearing.
The court heard how they goaded the youngsters to hit each other in the face, and when one did not fight they called him a "wimp" and a "faggot".
The fight was filmed on a home video recorder and was found by chance by a person who reported it to social services.
During the fight, both children - a boy and a girl - were at different times reduced to tears and were shouted at to carry on.
At one stage the boy was cheered for using a magazine as a weapon and repeatedly hitting the girl around the head, and later a hairbrush was thrown in to the room for them to use.
Passing sentence, Judge Francis Gilbert said he found the film "shocking to watch".
"You laughed at them, you mocked them, you swore at them," he said.
"You compelled them to hit each other even though they clearly did not want to.
"You were cruel, callous, clearly causing the children to hurt each other for your own pleasure."
Care pleaded guilty to causing or procuring the children to be ill-treated in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury and was sentenced to 12 months for each child, to run concurrently and suspended for two years.
Danielle, Serenza and Carole Olver pleaded guilty to jointly inciting the ill-treatment of children and were each sentenced to 12 months for both children, also to run concurrently and suspended for two years.
The fight was filmed on a home video recorder and was found by chance by a person who reported it to social services.
Investigating police officers described the footage as shocking and said that all of those who had seen it were stunned.
The video lasted for seven to eight minutes despite one child tearfully trying to get away after being punched in the face.
The little boy, wearing a nappy and T-shirt, was seen crying after being punched in the face by the girl and was told by one of the four women in the room "not to be a wimp" and to hit her back.
The women were heard laughing as the toddlers were urged to keep on fighting.
At one stage the young boy attempted to get away and climbed into an armchair at which point the women shouted at the little girl to punch him again.
When she hit him, the boy was urged to fight back but said: "No, I don't want to."
The court heard that, when interviewed by police, one of the women said: "I didn't see any harm in toughening them up - I done the same with my own children."
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LadyDay
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Posted: Saturday May 19th, 2007 09:54 |
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@incognito....er nah those people were deranged
@all his temper progresses not sure if its because of his interactions with other kids. if you tell him to give you something he has in his hand which he knows he shouldnt have he will fling it pon the ground wit attitude and then mek whole leap a noise. guess what the threat of smacking actually stops him from having his tantrums
my only concern is when he flung hsi head back and slid back down teh stairs just cos he was told to get down
cheek he aint even 2 and people trying to say kids dont have understandings when they small
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I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!
Think outside of the box...Think in spirit
Act as if it were impossible to fail!!!
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Maat
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| Joined: | Thursday May 13th, 2004 |
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Posted: Saturday May 19th, 2007 23:27 |
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@LadyDay: The only thing I know to do with them first is try and calm them down. It is hard when they insist they don't want to.
Baby Maat has started to show some disagreeable ways like pushing his older brother and watching him in his face to see what he's going to do about it! The terror doesn't seem to have happened at 2 for any of my children. All a dem started before 2. Then you blame the parenting books for not preparing for the earlier attack LOL. We will tell him off in a hard voice and he knows when he's doing wrong but sometimes he's just not phased. I think it's part of them finding themselves in a weird way.
The first time my oldest threw a tantrum I didn't know why she was so what seemed to be hysterical. After a while I just waited for her to stop flapping long enough for me to put my arms around her and give her a hug. I couldn't see how getting more frustrated than I already was, was going to help the situation. It helped at the time and she didn't seem to have as bad a tantrum again. Maybe I was more prepared for thenext round
These days she does the dance where you throw your hands in the air in time to the huff because you heard the word "No!" or "it's time to do your homework" LMAO.
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Vezz.
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Posted: Sunday May 20th, 2007 09:45 |
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My 16 month old seems to have it in for his brother! He'll pick up anything and just hit his brother in the head, and when we tell him to stop he just ignores us. I've just found the orange juice in the washing machine, and he's been in the kitchen bin and taken out the dirty wipes.
Yesterday, getting him into his car seat was an absolute nightmare - I had to literally push him into it, as he went as stiff as a board, and Hubby did the straps. We have the same problem getting him into his buggy.
Also, I've never seen a baby climb as much as he does. This boy climbs into and out of his highchair like Houdini. He's forever standing on the kitchen table and the coffee table. My Mother-in-Law reckons we'll find him "pon de roof" soon! And he's fast....I literally have to chase him if the front door opens, otherwise he's off down the road.
Maybe the TT's are starting earlier these days
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