|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya |
|
|
| Author | |
|---|
panther1977
Villager
| Joined: | Thursday June 2nd, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 93 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday February 18th, 2007 14:02 |
|
Im 5 mths pregnant at the moment and Im wondering whether or not to introduce a dummy. I didnt use one with my first but I took a year off work so I didnt mind the sleepless nights (i noticed she would sometimes use me as a dummy/pacifier) however this time I can only afford to take 6 months off. My 2 yr old niece seems to sleep better at night with a dummy but she has also become dependant on it and her teeth are a sort of funny shape.
Whats your views?
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Madam Butterfly
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday February 18th, 2007 15:31 |
|
both my nephews had dummies, but they weened themselves off of them of their own accord. I guess if your child never has one, they can't miss it  either way, i think its important to ween them off it before their teeth start to grow. Sayng that, it's probably best not to give them one in the first place. If a baby needs that kind of "comfort" they will probably just suck their thumbs as they do that in the womb anyway. But that is harder to stop than a dummy, which you can throw away!!
 when i was in primary school i knew a boy who sucked his two fingers up until what we now call year 6. Don;t know if he continued it in secondary school!
____________________
YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY OTHER PEOPLES' OPINION OF YOU!! ;0)
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Backatya
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Monday December 15th, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3174 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday February 18th, 2007 15:38 |
|
Say NO to dummies! They serve no constructive purpose whatsoever for the development of the child and just ruins gum and teeth development as well as getting the child (potentially) on to the whole 'addiction' thing from young.
No child needs a dummy.
Respect
____________________
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names..........will always get YOU a thump in ya dyaamn 'ead.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
specialle
Villager
| Joined: | Friday October 3rd, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday February 25th, 2007 11:55 |
|
No one can tell you whether to give a dummy or not it is down to you, there are pros and cons to it and you have to weigh the option out yourself,
I voweled not to use a dummy, then when my son alwasys cried when i pu t him in the push chair i tried it, but he never used it, he still today thinks a dumy is a toy not a comforter, and he does not finger suck, or tongue suck, his bottle has always been a comforter...
A little secret i still suck my thumb and so does my baby's father... we are both in our twenties, and i know a lot of adults who do it, Usually it is grown out of, unlike the dummy, but it serves a good purpose!!
Dont worry about it, you will deside what ever is best for you when the time comes until then just enjoy being pregnant
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Backatya
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Monday December 15th, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3174 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday February 25th, 2007 13:45 |
|
Of course no one can tell you whether to give up a dummy or not, unless you are in the habit of taking orders from cyber strangers. However, the thread poster did ask for people to give their views and in my view no child needs a dummy.
Sure, parents may find it a convenience for keeping a crying child quiet, just the same way many parents find sticking the child in front the telly a convenient way of keeping them occupied (as opposed to say, playing with them) whilst they get on with work around the house, or whatever. However, a convenience is not the same as a need. A dummy serves no purpose whatsoever from the developmental aspect of raising a child, and if you as a parent (who of course is free to choose) so choose to give your child a dummy, it will not be on the basis that the child needs one, but more than likely, because you do......so as to be able to get some piece and quiet whilst Eastenders is on, possibly. 
@ Specialle
Is the practice of 'sucking your thumb' something you would advocate then.....for adults and children alike?
Respect
____________________
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names..........will always get YOU a thump in ya dyaamn 'ead.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
specialle
Villager
| Joined: | Friday October 3rd, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday February 25th, 2007 17:03 |
|
@backatya
sucking fingers and thumb... well its not somethng id would encourage, neither is it something i would discourage...
many more people suck there tongue which quite often goes un-noticed...
and many people try the dummy to comfort a child, i know i did.. when my son was distressed, and i couldnt calm him, i tried to introduce the dummy (somewhat unsuccessfully), the dummy also known as a comforter and arguable every child NEEDS to be comforted in times of distress, maybe no child needs a dummy but they all need comfort and for some babies and children as well as parents a dummy is the prefered choice.
I supposed the difference between a finger, thumb or tongue sucker, the child find it themselves rather than being given by the parent, and is therefor a natural reflex for the child.
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Backatya
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Monday December 15th, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3174 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday February 26th, 2007 04:49 |
|
specialle wrote: @backatya
sucking fingers and thumb... well its not somethng id would encourage, neither is it something i would discourage...
many more people suck there tongue which quite often goes un-noticed...
and many people try the dummy to comfort a child, i know i did.. when my son was distressed, and i couldnt calm him, i tried to introduce the dummy (somewhat unsuccessfully), the dummy also known as a comforter and arguable every child NEEDS to be comforted in times of distress, maybe no child needs a dummy but they all need comfort and for some babies and children as well as parents a dummy is the prefered choice.
I supposed the difference between a finger, thumb or tongue sucker, the child find it themselves rather than being given by the parent, and is therefor a natural reflex for the child.
@ Specialle
You are absolutely right, every child needs to be comforted in times of distress, and....well simply because comforting is a nurturing thing and children need nurturing.
The question I asked myself as a parent though, is "If somebody hadn't invented a piece of flavourless rubber that dispenses nothing but air into the stomach, for me to stick in my child's mouth in those times of distress (and at other times that it suits my purpose)......how would I comfort my child?"
When I ponder that question I realise my child definitely does not need a dummy.
Respect
____________________
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names..........will always get YOU a thump in ya dyaamn 'ead.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
The Watcher
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 11th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 11353 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday February 26th, 2007 11:47 |
|
tbh was never a fan of freud in school but his theory on the psychosexual oral stage of development does kinda make you think.
The oral stage of development (0-2years) based on children exploring the world by putting things into their mouths, sucking, biting and swallowing. The conflict to be resolved is being weaned off breastfeeding. This can happen too abruptly and too suddenly or too slowly leading to two personality types.
The Oral receptive personality is preoccupied with eating/drinking and reduces tension through oral activity such as eating, drinking, smoking, biting nails. They are generally passive, needy and sensitive to rejection. They will easily 'swallow' other people's ideas.
The Oral aggressive personality is hostile and verbally abusive to others, using mouth-based aggression
Called Oral fixation. I definately think dummies exacebate the problems of oral fixation
____________________
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I...
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
LadyDay
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Thursday October 2nd, 2003 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 6156 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday February 26th, 2007 12:46 |
|
my son never had a dummy. i didnt really let him use me as a dummy either. he doesnt suck his fingers only in the day when his gums are itching
____________________
I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!
Think outside of the box...Think in spirit
Act as if it were impossible to fail!!!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Bacoo
Excluded
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday February 26th, 2007 14:40 |
|
panther1977 wrote: Im 5 mths pregnant at the moment and Im wondering whether or not to introduce a dummy. I didnt use one with my first but I took a year off work so I didnt mind the sleepless nights (i noticed she would sometimes use me as a dummy/pacifier) however this time I can only afford to take 6 months off. My 2 yr old niece seems to sleep better at night with a dummy but she has also become dependant on it and her teeth are a sort of funny shape.
Whats your views?
What does your husband suggest?
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday February 26th, 2007 15:21 |
|
Look, when you've had no sleep for DAYS ON END, because you're child uses your breast as a comforter, meaning you can't 1) go to the toilet and 2) eat and drink anything other than finger food, then you can tell me not to give a dummy to my child.
My husband actually suggested it...I was too tired to even remember my name by this point. Both he and I were both very anti, but until you're in the situation you can't judge.
I think it depends on the child. My first son didn't have one (he has a noo-noo - at 7!!!), my daughter did (weaned herself off at 18 months), and I'm hoping to get this one off it soon. The fact that he keeps throwing it around the place, only wanting it when he wants to sleep hopefully means we won't have to wait too long.
Panther,
Congrats on your pregnancy, but don't think about it just yet. Trust me, you have enough to think about right now, and it's a minor t'ing. That said, if you and Hubby want to introduce it more power to you, don't beat yourself up about it. Parenthood is a minefield anyway.
Good luck!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
specialle
Villager
| Joined: | Friday October 3rd, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday March 8th, 2007 15:13 |
|
@backatya
Think of it this way,... baby formula and bottle was invented, and with that children can be feed and nuttured with out the breast, many of whom would die without it cas unfourtunatly not all mothers ca breast feed for various reason, it is used...
Theathing rings came a bout to comfort a child gums when in distress, it is used
and so many others we cant say if some1 didnt invent ------ cas if people didnt invent well we would be in the stone age still...
In some cases i will argue a dummy is needed, because, everybody has stress threshholds... If a dummy stops them from murdering a child that child needs a dummy for pure survival...
some people cant handle the crying, and it heard all too often about a mum killing her baby or leaving it in a dumpster or at some1s door step
Ur child may not need one but, if u were to have another opinions might change...
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Backatya
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Monday December 15th, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3174 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday March 8th, 2007 15:44 |
|
specialle wrote: @backatya
Think of it this way,... baby formula and bottle was invented, and with that children can be feed and nuttured with out the breast, many of whom would die without it cas unfourtunatly not all mothers ca breast feed for various reason, it is used...
Theathing rings came a bout to comfort a child gums when in distress, it is used
and so many others we cant say if some1 didnt invent ------ cas if people didnt invent well we would be in the stone age still...
In some cases i will argue a dummy is needed, because, everybody has stress threshholds... If a dummy stops them from murdering a child that child needs a dummy for pure survival...
some people cant handle the crying, and it heard all too often about a mum killing her baby or leaving it in a dumpster or at some1s door step
Ur child may not need one but, if u were to have another opinions might change...
Hi Specialle
I don't know I would put a dummy in the same 'needs' bracket as feeding bottles, which dispenses food (quite essential to life)...but still.
Anyway the fact is we seem to have a different definition as to what a need is, so at the end of the day you would claim a dummy is needed in certain casese where I would claim (and do) that it is never needed, but comes down to a matter of personal preference, choice or (as you put it) stress threshold. Though the 'stress threshold' thing highlights the reason why you the parent may need a dummy, rather than why the child itself needs it....lol
I don't know if I quite buy the 'saving more children from getting murdered' justification, but hey, who can say what the child mortality rate would be if not for dummies.....lol
Incidentally, I have 5 children. The first one had a dummy and the rest did not. It was the experience of giving it to the first that convinced me (personally) that a dummy is not something a child needs........if anything, it serves the parents 'needs' (much like the cartoon channel on a busy Saturday) more than it does the child.
Respect
____________________
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names..........will always get YOU a thump in ya dyaamn 'ead.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
LadyDay
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Thursday October 2nd, 2003 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 6156 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday March 8th, 2007 20:09 |
|
a dummy in some cases replaces the thumb
i tried to sneak a dummy to my son but he refused it so i just dealt with it
glad for it too
kids that cant live without their dummy = nightmare
____________________
I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!
Think outside of the box...Think in spirit
Act as if it were impossible to fail!!!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
girl21
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday March 23rd, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 106 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday March 12th, 2007 15:44 |
|
This is my second time replying to this so i hope whoever's wireless im picking up doesnt cut out again!
I think you should avoid a dummy totally as it can lead to thumbsucking. My dad was very strict about it but when he was out of the house my mum wouldnt stop me sucking my thumb. I had a terrible gap between my upper and lower teeth by the time i reached my teens but i had to wait until i was 19 for orthodontal work to make sure i had stopped growing.
I wore braces for three years that straighned both rows of teeth but was told for them to meet when i smiled i would need an operation. the consultant explained that they would need to break my jaw and then reposition it but there were alot of risks including my jaw being shattered, losing sensation in my face and all the normal risks of ops under general anasthetic. Anyway, fear, mrsa scares and my family put me off so i will always have the gap - all because of a dummy!
Ps - My brother is 6 years younger than me and because i was still sucking my thumb when he was born my mum and dad were determined not to give him a dummy and he was fine.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Femergy
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday April 25th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 374 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday March 13th, 2007 19:18 |
|
panther1977 wrote: Im 5 mths pregnant at the moment and Im wondering whether or not to introduce a dummy. I didnt use one with my first but I took a year off work so I didnt mind the sleepless nights (i noticed she would sometimes use me as a dummy/pacifier) however this time I can only afford to take 6 months off. My 2 yr old niece seems to sleep better at night with a dummy but she has also become dependant on it and her teeth are a sort of funny shape.
Whats your views?
If you are going to use a pacifier, then make sure you get an orthodontic one which shaped to prevent mishappen gums/teeth.
I wouldn't advise you whether to get one or not but I got one for my son and was very unhappy about it. However, it brought comfort to both of us and fundamentally the distress of the baby to the mother and visa-versa and minimising this is crucial to the bonding process which is, in my humble opinion, essential to the emotional development of both the child and mother relationship.
As you know, you will know what is best for your and child and what works for him/her. Some children are pacified/comofrted in different ways. My baby brother was a sniffer and had to have his blanket - dam thing had to go everywhere stuck up in his face all the time. This became his thing becauses my dad refused to allow the dummy.
Pce
Fem'
____________________
Therapy is the attempt to understand all things of the body & mind which make the human being a whole being. - Kimbwandende Kia Bunseki Fu-Kiau
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
|
|
Current time is 22:01 | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Join the
Blacknet
mailing list
|
|
