| Author | |
|---|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Saturday November 18th, 2006 21:39 |
|
I'm listening to "Barry White" on Lightning fm right now, when he announces that he is to be a grandfather....again(!).
Now, I know from my raving days that he's around the same age as me so, the question is, when is it the correct time to be a Granny/Grandpa?
My only girl is 19 years old today(Happy Birthday, My Darling), and I'd hate her to be a mother right now, much less me a Granny at 40!
Last edited on Saturday November 18th, 2006 21:44 by Vezz.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
ebony_goddess
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 24th, 2005 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 677 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 07:56 |
|
| id say between 38-40
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:17 |
|
lol 38 goddam!!
wouldnt you wish more for your kids then just to pop babies?
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
ebony_goddess
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 24th, 2005 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 677 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:31 |
|
yes 38.... u have ur opinion on alot of ish.. i have mine...
i wish the best for my kids.. and having a child aint the worse that can happen
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:38 |
|
isnt the point of being being a granny is that your supposed to be OLD and wise?
how you gonna be an "ideal" granny at 38...probably still breeding yourself?
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:39 |
|
| lol also you gotta have a pretty bad run of luck you end up as a granny at 38
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:41 |
|
| saying that stricly speaking I could be a grandad at 38 but if my boy done that to me id kick his ass... im sure h will will know better than to be bringing back kids at 14
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
ebony_goddess
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 24th, 2005 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 677 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:44 |
|
if ur 38 and ur 20 yr old have a child.. wats that? is it the end of the world..
im sure there are alot more seriosu and dangerous thing than having a child... wats so negative about it..
'ideal' theres nothing ideal about life... im 21 and my granny is 61... watz wrong with that... my mom is 41 and gonna be a granny.. can u tell me wats worng
im a qualified accounting technician.... ive dont well in school.. im not thick.. and my child is not an accident..
wats the problem.. if my child got pregnant at 18 at least im hoping she wud have grasped something in her head by then.. and if she didnt finish her course.. id help her look after the baby for her to finish..
u ppl act as if its da worst sh*t that can happen or ur life is done
prrrffffttt 
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:50 |
|
Bullsh*t.
your missing the point (again) what about things like forming a proper relationship...marriage hell maybe even a career?
no im not saying its an ideal world (ive sen alot in my years) BUT think about the message your sending out... breed breed breed
maybe relationships aint that important to you..but then about when these young (late teens/early 20's) folk breed...whats the average end product? SINGLE MOTHERS
simply because there were too youn to know any different....then they become of a drain on ME THE BRITISH TAX PAYER
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:51 |
|
but to asnwer the origional questtion id say early 50's
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
ebony_goddess
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 24th, 2005 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 677 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:54 |
|
ur so full a sh*t .. pls..
how many single mothers are about that have bn married before?
thats very ignorant to think thats all that could happen.. yeah.. breed at 20.. man lef dem.. go on benefits..
look at devorce rates.. come on now
and studying from that rate 'early 50's' they probably wont live to see their great grankids or great-great grandkids
Last edited on Sunday November 19th, 2006 08:56 by ebony_goddess
____________________
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Black_Power
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday June 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | Birmingham AL |
| Posts: | 1518 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 09:03 |
|
listen your not back home now...life expectancy is wayy above 50 over here.
to say that after 50 your due to die any day now is quite ignorant. you would do better to think that life isnt guaraneed to anyone...young or old. that my dear jamaican is AGEISM
as for the breed and leff VS marriage divorec rate which do you think is higher??
now maybe where you come from its considerd the norm to bring pushing a pushchair to college but I dont...
and no its you who are full o sh*t with your slackness.
____________________
The future....Evolution.....Perfection
Only the best is good enough
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Mezmerized
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday May 18th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2296 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 11:52 |
|
 @ Ebony
Anyways, personally, i don't expect to be a granny until i am in my late 60s....thats because i do NOT plan on breeding anything until my early and mid thirties(that is if i actually decide to have any kids at all)
I have see some rough times, so i do not wish to bring any life into this world to struggle as i have....so i am gone work my ass off, make sure i am very, and i mean VERY financially secure before i have any children.
I think its selfish the way some people just breed....without thinking of the conditions they are in or how the child would feel being born out of marriage or making them struggle financially through life because of your own selfish needs to get pregnant!
Besides, apart from Ebony, me no see many 20 something year olds running to breed.....most of us are just able to survive on over drafts and student debts....why bring a new life into that?
@Vezz....i hope you have told that lovely young lady of yours to keep it safe...lol....you've just given birth yourself...imagine raising yours and hers.....your forties should be for you....she still has at least another 7 years to grown some more.
____________________
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Incognito
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3479 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 16:47 |
|
Personally I'd love to be a grandad as early as possible. For me nothing justifies life more than new life, and them years when they are just little bundles are priceless, makes you want a 100 of the little things. Was speaking to my friend who was a grandad at 35. Seeing him with them makes you realise you are just as proud no matter how and when they come....but yeah, one thing for sure is I wouldn't still want to be having children myself.
In an extended family and a tight community then wisdom and security can come from many sources especially the elders within. But in a world where nothing is guaranteed, not even children, and with no real strength in depth as far as community is concerned then I'm afraid it's horses for courses - but even if you think one way now, no doubt you'll say whatever needs to be said to defend your corner after crossing the bridge yourself.
Last edited on Sunday November 19th, 2006 16:48 by Incognito
____________________
I live satisfied that my enemies know I am right!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Madam Butterfly
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 19:42 |
|
My oldest sis is 38 with a six year old son (7 in feb) and my other sis will be 34 in Jan and she has a four year old son. (never mind how "young" i am!!) So they were both "old" mothers by some peoples standards (neither has any other children) My mum will be 58 this coming Friday (Happy B'Day!) and my two sis's are angling for her to take early retirement at 60 so they can tek 'er mek childminder!! My mother had three placid girls (well, 2 placid girls and my middle sister!) so is not used to hyper-hyper boys!! Even at her age she would rather continue working than look after them full time. My own grandmother was not "hands on" at all and we used to dread the weekly visits to her house.
On the other hand there is a lovely lady who runs a market stall who was telling me all about the snowball fights and stuff she does with her grandkids and she must be at least in her mid 60's if not older.
At the end of the day i don;t think it is about age per se (after all, you can technically be a grandparent at 32 if both you and your child had intercourse at the "Legal" minimum age) I think it depends on the type of person you are, how much time and energy you have (regardless of age) and how much you are willing to enjoy your grandchildren
some see their grandchildren as a way of making up for mistakes they made as parents. Some folks feel too "tired" to be having snowball fights with a bunch of young'uns and may take the "i've raised my kids" attitude.
Personally i would like to have grandchildren at a point when i am in a position to retire so i can enjoy time with them fully as opposed to being worn out with a full time job and dreading their hyper visits. But as i have no kids and none on the horizon, it looks like being a moot point for me!
I know it seems like being a young grandparent must be the better option, but if you are late 30's to mid 50's you are probably working at least part time and may not have as much time or energy for everything you would want to do with them.
____________________
YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY OTHER PEOPLES' OPINION OF YOU!! ;0)
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday November 19th, 2006 21:14 |
|
I'd hate to be a Granny now. What with Mr Man ('oo t'ink seh 'im big man - not 10 months old!) I'd be run ragged, although I do have the grey hair of a Gran!
That said, my youngest brother is 6 months younger than my daughter. My Mum had him at 42 which, many years ago (to me), seemed an ok age. Now it seems far too young.
BP,
Yu nah easy, Little Bro.....
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Melissa
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 18th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1052 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday November 22nd, 2006 17:52 |
|
A grandparent at 38!!!!
That's a possibility for me (my eldest will be 18 then) but I wouldn't like it one bit.
Not saying that having kids early is a 'mistake' per se, depends how you handle it, but all young mothers should admit that life would have been much easier if they had waited a few years, and should encourage their children to do the same.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Soulstarr
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday October 16th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 2190 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday November 22nd, 2006 22:45 |
|
ebony_goddess wrote: if ur 38 and ur 20 yr old have a child.. wats that? is it the end of the world..
Its not the worst thing that can happen but it's cirtainly not the best thing either. Having a child at 18, 19, 20, 21, leaves absolutely ZERO time for life experiences. To me you sound incredibly naive. You remind me of so many people I know who THINK that they are ready for what is about to happen to their lives simply because they have seen thire friends/family go throught it at the same age. Please understand that it does not work that way.
At my age (21), where is the financial stability? where is the choice in where I live or how long I get to stay at home and witness the first few years of my childs life? Unless you come from Paris Hiltons financial status, those choices are gone, whether people realise it or not. Where is the freedom to even pop to the corner shop? I couldn't just slip on my trainers and be back in fve minutes like usual and the thought of having the most simple choices taken away from me freaks me out.
So yes. There are worst things in the world than having a baby at 18. But its cirtainly nothing that anyone should aspire to.
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday November 23rd, 2006 21:02 |
|
I had my daughter at 21, and don't regret it one bit.
However......
If she came to me at 21 announcing she's pregnant I'd be disappointed.
Only because I know what a struggle it is to gain qualifications whilst a mother - damn hard!
My neighbour's daughter is pregnant at 25. She's qualified etc, but the father is "disappointed"....
I'm too young to be a Nanny.......
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Burning Spear
Villager
| Joined: | Monday May 17th, 2004 |
| Location: | Washington DC, USA |
| Posts: | 3033 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Saturday November 25th, 2006 12:22 |
|
I met agrandmother who was twenty-nine and yes she was a pathetic sight.
____________________
 
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Tahliba
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday November 28th, 2006 00:28 |
|
Isn't Barry White dead?
And if he isn't he is in his 60's...born 1940's
Last edited on Tuesday November 28th, 2006 00:33 by Tahliba
____________________
If we do not have an accurate analysis of the problem, we cannot possibly develop a good strategy to resolve it.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday November 28th, 2006 21:49 |
|
Tahliba wrote: Isn't Barry White dead?
And if he isn't he is in his 60's...born 1940's
He's a dj in London on Vibes FM & Powerjam - mainly with his brother "Desi G".
I thought I'd made it clear it was an MC by the quotes around his name.....
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
EF MAX
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Friday December 1st, 2006 15:22 |
|
Well I guess that one (grand parenting) will escape me as I have no children yet and I am almost 50.. but,, my mum was 15 when she fell with me and my grand parents took over (grandma was 38 and grand dad was 40)..
Till the day I die I will have the UTTERMOST respect to both of them because they did a seriously amazing job.. (new to England, poor etc) but they worked hard and gave me every opportunity in the UK that my mum couldn’t get in Barbados.
If things with me and past relationships had led to children, I personally would feel a little miffed if my children didn’t get as much out of their lives first, before thinking about starting a family. Having said that all of that if I was a grand parent I really could not have imagined it happening before the age I am now.. if it did, I figure that the positive role model of my grand parents would kick in automatically, because I owe everything to both of them.
____________________
Life is for Living, Loving and Laughing, so do it to the Max..
Dr.E - http://www.hometonight.co.uk
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
specialle
Villager
| Joined: | Friday October 3rd, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday December 3rd, 2006 20:01 |
|
Soulstarr wrote: ebony_goddess wrote: if ur 38 and ur 20 yr old have a child.. wats that? is it the end of the world..
Its not the worst thing that can happen but it's cirtainly not the best thing either. Having a child at 18, 19, 20, 21, leaves absolutely ZERO time for life experiences. To me you sound incredibly naive. You remind me of so many people I know who THINK that they are ready for what is about to happen to their lives simply because they have seen thire friends/family go throught it at the same age. Please understand that it does not work that way.
At my age (21), where is the financial stability? where is the choice in where I live or how long I get to stay at home and witness the first few years of my childs life? Unless you come from Paris Hiltons financial status, those choices are gone, whether people realise it or not. Where is the freedom to even pop to the corner shop? I couldn't just slip on my trainers and be back in fve minutes like usual and the thought of having the most simple choices taken away from me freaks me out.
So yes. There are worst things in the world than having a baby at 18. But its cirtainly nothing that anyone should aspire to.
Just so people are aware; having a child at a young age does not mean that, they are unable to gain or have experiences. it just means the experiences happen later in life! i had my son at 19 my mother had me at 19 and so on and so forth. my mother is a mama. and she is now flying all over the world as well as having a fantastic relationship with her grandson.
I am 21 myself and am studying and have a fantatic job, earning good money! so i have finacial stabilty.
before women used to want to be house wives and mothers; these days its all about career and money, infact the uk population is dying down, there are more elderly than young people; this is all because of this ideology of having a career.
Yeah you cant just nip to the shop, but only for a few years of the childs life; or if you are a single parent. yes it can be a luxury; and yes its dramatic, however when confronted with a situation that is life changing you just deal with it! at least the life choices that are being taken away are for the raising of the next generation, because them choices can be taken away from u other ways, through sickness or diabilty threw an accident... i have seen that so many times...
each persons experince of child rearing is unique.. no-one is ever ready for it. you just have to deal with it like everything else, and it can be a lovely and loving experience. When i find out my friends are having children i let them know that the first few months are piss easy, and it is hard work, but very rewarding if its something that you can handle mentally and even more so if its something that you want.
just incase there is any confusion i did not want a child at 19 and opted for an abortion, however things came to pass which meant i couldnt have it done. i cant compare how my life would be if i didnt have him to how it is now, because they are two different qualities of life.
easter i am flying him to the caribbean to spend a few weeks with his dad and then again in septeber... and hopefully again for christmas. people told me my life would be worthless if i had my child others said i would go to hell if i had an abortion. i do not let people let me think i cant accomplish things because i am a young mother, or that i can not gain any life experince, child rearing is an experience all of its own.
A very big saying that i use in everyday life, if life throws your lemons make bloody lemonade!
WHATS AN ACCEPTABLE AGE TO BE A GRANDMOTHER, WELL THERE IS NO ANSWER. JUST PREPARE AS BEST AS YOU CAN WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR OWN AS SOON AS THEY HIT PUBERTY. LIFE CAN BE FULL OF LITTLE SURPRISES JUST MAKE THE MOST OF IT WHEN IT HAPPENS, CAS YOU CANT CHANGE BECOMING A NAN, ONLY THE TYPE OF NAN U ARE!! (unless of course you force the lady to have an abortion or kick it out of her.. ive known of people to to that so i wouldnt put it past any1)
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
|
|
Current time is 14:37 | |
|
