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Tahliba
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Posted: Tuesday November 7th, 2006 10:20 |
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Doing my usual nightly checks of my childrens(and all their friends) internet activity the other night.
I noticed a new email address on my sons contacts...It jumped out at me...dancehall queen bla bla.
Apparently the owner is an 11yr old girl local girl.
I expressed concerns that such a young girl used such a user name to my son the following morning. And suggested that maybe I should speak to her mother....Maybe she doesn't know?!?
He told me I was over reacting(and in a polite way) that it was none of my buisness.
But is it harmless?
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Vezz.
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Posted: Tuesday November 7th, 2006 12:09 |
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I don't think you're overreacting, but do think you need to tread carefully.
Sometimes kids say things without actually being aware the meaning (my 7 year old kept going on about sex but when I asked him what sex was, according to him it's "sucking". When pressed further he was talking about kissing!).
You don't want to make them aware it's a naughty word. However, I'd be more concerned if her name was Dutty Wine......
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Father Figure
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Posted: Tuesday November 7th, 2006 12:38 |
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@ Tahliba
I have to agree with Vez. I don't think the name 'Dance hall queen' has the same meening to the children of today as it did to us as parents back in the day. It may help if you asked your son to tell you what he thinks a 'dance hall queen' is.
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ebony_goddess
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Posted: Friday November 10th, 2006 08:30 |
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| i think ur over-reacting.
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Black_Power
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Posted: Friday November 10th, 2006 10:16 |
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lol what if the mothers name is dutty_whine2006?
like mother like daughter I guess....
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Friday November 10th, 2006 13:41 |
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Tahliba: nope i don't think you're overreacting at all..I check my daughters internet activity and if they start chatting nastiness or fart like that..I lock it off fast!!!
However I agree with Vezz with threading carefully bit, now if you really want to be cute, you could invite this 'dance hall queen' to come over for tea or something and on the down low check her out... before acting..
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Saida.M
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Posted: Friday November 10th, 2006 13:53 |
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K - invite her over?! What! Think about it - someone on the internet inviting YOUR child over for tea?????
Talibah you said 'apparently the owner is an 11yr old girl local girl.' - do you actually know the girl or did she just say on the internet that she is from your neck of the woods? If that is the case 'she' could be a 'he' and more besides.
For your peace of mind go easy. Your concern seem more for her than your child but if your that concerned - check it out.
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"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Friday November 10th, 2006 14:01 |
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Saida.M wrote: K - invite her over?! What! Think about it - someone on the internet inviting YOUR child over for tea?????
Doh...no i didn't mean for Tahliba to invite her directly...i mean via the son who is talking to her...i Assume that she is a school friend of her son..so some such aquaintence....
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Saida.M
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Posted: Friday November 10th, 2006 14:09 |
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Kunjufu wrote: Saida.M wrote: K - invite her over?! What! Think about it - someone on the internet inviting YOUR child over for tea?????
Doh...no i didn't mean for Tahliba to invite her directly...i mean via the son who is talking to her...i Assume that she is a school friend of her son..so some such aquaintence....
Let's hope it is an 'aquaintence' then. After all you do hear of people who never met calling each other on the internet 'friends'.
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People readily believe lies before they believe the truth
"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
Good News Bible. Rev. Ch.13 V.3
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Tahliba
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Posted: Monday November 27th, 2006 23:29 |
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Oops! sorry forgot about this.
Yes I kinda know her, her picture comes up. She's always lived in the area but now goes to my sons school.
I have since making the first post spoke to the mother...the next day actually.
Turned out they didn't own a pc and that she was using while at her friends. Mother knew she was using the pc but not how(and she wasn't happy about the picture or the name)
Which made me realise that I allow a lot of my childrens friends to use our internet, many of them don't have access at home.
I have since had to talk to all the parents(those that is I don't know personally) that their child is using the internet in my house, and their user name is...
It had never occured to me before.
I felt it was enough that I monitored what they did on-line to the point that I forgot completely about parental consent/knowledge.
Last edited on Monday November 27th, 2006 23:32 by Tahliba
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Tahliba
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Posted: Monday November 27th, 2006 23:39 |
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And yes I was right to be concerned about the girlchilds influence on my son...
But as it's turned out she is apparently"crap" at the on-line game they play so he is ignoring her emails...Apparently she only joined so she can meet boys.
Bless him!
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Tahliba
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Posted: Monday November 27th, 2006 23:43 |
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Vezz. wrote: I don't think you're overreacting, but do think you need to tread carefully.
Sometimes kids say things without actually being aware the meaning (my 7 year old kept going on about sex but when I asked him what sex was, according to him it's "sucking". When pressed further he was talking about kissing!).
You don't want to make them aware it's a naughty word. However, I'd be more concerned if her name was Dutty Wine......
I overs Vez, but these are 11yr olds. I wanted my son to understand that it was an appropriate name for a young girl...Naughty didn't come into it.
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specialle
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Posted: Monday December 4th, 2006 05:17 |
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Tahliba wrote: Doing my usual nightly checks of my childrens(and all their friends) internet activity the other night.
I noticed a new email address on my sons contacts...It jumped out at me...dancehall queen bla bla.
Apparently the owner is an 11yr old girl local girl.
I expressed concerns that such a young girl used such a user name to my son the following morning. And suggested that maybe I should speak to her mother....Maybe she doesn't know?!?
He told me I was over reacting(and in a polite way) that it was none of my buisness.
But is it harmless?
dont forget that some children just want eye candy names; and most maybe unaware that they hold such negativity amonst the elder generation and the truth behind there meaning.
if a child has a name like duttywine2006. she almost probably thought that it sounded goos is catchy and meomorable, plus she can do the dutty wine.
concern is good but never the less sometimes it is good to be open for interpretaion, cas what is seen through and adults eye and mond is not the same as a childs.
I was unfortunate to be schold age when all this email milaki and computer thing kicked off. I personally had a stupid email name; until my eyes opened. changed that quick.
when your yung its all mizz this miss that.. totally fine.. hoterthanthe average. you want to isndspire other/ attract others to you, rather than seem boring!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGKPf29fg1s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVh7K_ubFsY&NR
this one is pretty scary - imagine if she has computer knowledge; and there knowlede of computer and how it works can be as young as three;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfVGjxZT6es
ive seen i few worse ones on here too! im sure to the children it harmless. even the older ones.
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DtotheJ
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Posted: Monday December 4th, 2006 13:29 |
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I don't have children...but I think you are being an overbearing parent...
not intentionally......
I know what you're trying to prevent...but it's just a suffocating way of raising children...
give them rules and let them breathe
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Black_Power
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Posted: Saturday December 9th, 2006 16:54 |
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| lol just wait till he starts putting up posters of cuties on his wall.....you may have a heart attack
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Happiness
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Posted: Friday December 29th, 2006 16:01 |
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@ Tahliba - I think your concerns are valid and the way you handled it was right. I dont think you are overbearing - our kids need ground rules because we all know that children lack good judgement.
Personally, I will not let any child come into my home and use my internet/computer. It's hard enough keeping track of my child's internet use - and frankly I dont want the burden of monitoring another child's usage.
So, if I were you, T, I would not allow children to use your service.
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If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human" ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
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Tahliba
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Posted: Friday January 5th, 2007 19:45 |
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DtotheJ wrote: I don't have children...but I think you are being an overbearing parent...
not intentionally......
I know what you're trying to prevent...but it's just a suffocating way of raising children...
give them rules and let them breathe.
Bless
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Tahliba
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Posted: Friday January 5th, 2007 19:48 |
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Black_Power wrote: lol just wait till he starts putting up posters of cuties on his wall.....you may have a heart attack
He already inherited his older brothers posters....No surprises there.
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Tahliba
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Posted: Friday January 5th, 2007 19:59 |
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Happiness wrote: @ Tahliba - I think your concerns are valid and the way you handled it was right. I dont think you are overbearing - our kids need ground rules because we all know that children lack good judgement.
Personally, I will not let any child come into my home and use my internet/computer. It's hard enough keeping track of my child's internet use - and frankly I dont want the burden of monitoring another child's usage.
So, if I were you, T, I would not allow children to use your service.
@ Happiness (happy new year hope all is well with you)
I allow it mainly because it keeps them where I can see them(and evesdrop) and off the streets. And I don't have much confidence in many of their friends parents to monitor the way I do.
I have one child sleeping over this weekend and all now the mother hasn't checked with me to see if he IS here. The first time this boy slept over I had to call her and introduce myself...No I would rather they were in my house being monitored, the alternative he would go around to theirs or be out on street.
Anyway I have a new problem now...He got a phone for xmas, how the **** do I monitor that?!?
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MarcusGarveyLives
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Posted: Friday January 5th, 2007 20:46 |
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It's certainly worth checking who is coming into contact with your children.
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Backatya
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Posted: Saturday January 6th, 2007 14:44 |
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Tahliba wrote: Doing my usual nightly checks of my childrens(and all their friends) internet activity the other night.
I noticed a new email address on my sons contacts...It jumped out at me...dancehall queen bla bla.
Apparently the owner is an 11yr old girl local girl.
I expressed concerns that such a young girl used such a user name to my son the following morning. And suggested that maybe I should speak to her mother....Maybe she doesn't know?!?
He told me I was over reacting(and in a polite way) that it was none of my buisness.
But is it harmless?
Aren't most things harmless to begin with?
We (parents) are made to feel that we are 'over-reacting' when we express concern about certain things our children are up to or getting into, and that we should give them space and let them develope as adults. Then when these 'harmless beginnings' end up with our children turning out a certain (anti-social) way we face a barrage of criticism for being lax in the way we bring up our children.
Listen, parenting is not a precise science and there are many instances when we have to make a call based on our best judgement, or gut feelings or whatever. Such calls may turn out to be the wrong ones (i.e. over-reacting) or a 'stitch in time' (i.e. nipping a potential disaster in the bud). But at the end of the day you have to make the call (damn it's you who will no doubt have to bear the consequences if you don't call and you get it wrong). So you can do no more than go by what you judge to be right an appropriate.
Let's face it there is probably as many views on what is right and appropriate for an 11 year old girl as there are members on this site. Don't shy away from something that your gut instincts, moral, ethical or social standards, tell you is 'not quite right' just because others (not in the position and in possession of the full facts as you are) tell you to 'chill a little'.
As a parent you have to be the teacher and guardian of the moral standards that will set your child on his/her path in this world, and you must do it as you best see fit. Sure, seek advice, ask others and take everything into balance (we are learning all the time after all). But don't settle on a course of action that does not rest easy within your spirit, simply because others say it is the best course.
This 'society' conditions (or at least tries) us that many things are harmless because it is very much an 'individualistic society' with little or no concept of 'community'. It is also very critical of those who dare to stand up and say that 'a particular mode of behaviour is not right/appropriate' because it deems such proclamations indicative of a 'holier-than-thou' attitude - horror of horrors!
Meanwhile we see (daily) 'society's' continual demise into moral degredation, along with our children being allowed more and more freedom to 'do their own thing' and 'go their own way'. But hey! What's the harm in that?
Respect
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Happiness
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Posted: Saturday January 6th, 2007 17:56 |
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@ BAY - 
@ T - we are all well. I hope your family is well too. About your son and the phone....why does he even need a phone?
also, i understand what you mean about having the kids at your place and that probably makes sense. But, it still doesn't mean that you have to allow them to use the internet at your house.
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If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human" ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
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