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Ms Price
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 17:08 |
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I have a question.
Why do some black mum's lie about their childs hair?
Too often from growing up I have heard some black mums say my child hair is 'natutrally' like that. It is probably is true still, because we all know that as black people we all have different hair textures.
But my hairdresser took it to a whole other level. My hair dresser has a little girl which I have babysitted the child from birth. Her hair was basically like any other normal black baby u know that silky preety afro hair, when u add a little vaseline it curls so cute!
Anyway her daughter is like 7 now and it is obvious that my hairdressers has put chemicals into her childs hair because its is ALOT straighter and finer, also longer, compared to her daughters preety bush she had a couple of years back.
I was at the hair salon last week and her little girl was there in the store. Another customer who moved to my area not so long ago was telling my hair dresser that her daughters hair looks nice permed. My hair dresser was shoutin it out to the whole store like my daughters hair is naturally like that her hair was just 'blown out', her hair 'go's like that' when i blow it out.
Am like why she lying? Whats wrong with having a cute bush head?
Why do you have to front about about relaxing yr childs hair? I thought the whole point was to elimante the bush?
So why do some black mum's lie about thier childs hair? Can any one answer?
Peace
Ms Price
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jett Black
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 17:20 |
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I don't know about all that, as I dont have kids and have never had that experience of some Mother lying about their kids hair?? whats the point
I know what I do hate though is seeing a full head of heavy ass extentions on young girls small head,poor tings head can barely keep them things up.
Thats child abuse.
Further more that childs hair is never gonna grow properly and healthily with all the strain you are putting on the scalp from such a young age.
If you are a parent who is reading this and does this,please stop,let de pickney ed breathe!!!
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Melissa
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 17:45 |
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My nephew had a huge bush head which i assumed his mum blew out for manageability. That was until my brother got his haircut and you saw the scars in his head where his mum had burned his scalp with the relaxer.
Its self-hate, and is wrong, wrong wrong that its passed down to the children in this way.
Straigtening their natural afro hair then claiming its natural says what? - that you have 'good' genes or not 100% african genes because your child has 'good' hair??
F*ck that, some people should take a conciousness test before they are allowed to give birth.
Last edited on Thursday August 24th, 2006 18:17 by Melissa
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Soulstarr
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 18:08 |
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Melissa wrote: My nephew had a huge bush head which i assumed his mum blew out for manageability. That was until my brother got his haircut and you saw the scars in his head where his mum had burned his scalp with the relaxer.
Thats is so so wrong man. really sad 
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DtotheJ
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 18:10 |
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Melissa, if there is no real thing as "good" hair, it shouldn't offend you.
I hear what you're saying but let them say it....who really cares?
the only people who would be impressed or offended are those who directly or indirectly believe that straighter hair is better......
think about it....
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Melissa
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 18:14 |
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So because i think its wrong to chemically straigthen a childs hair i'm just as bad as the ones who do it????
Sorry but NO!
Quoting their ridiculous ideals or morals does not mean i indirectly hold the same fcked up notions.Last edited on Thursday August 24th, 2006 18:16 by Melissa
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Ms Price
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 18:38 |
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jett black wrote: I don't know about all that, as I dont have kids and have never had that experience of some Mother lying about their kids hair?? whats the point
I know what I do hate though is seeing a full head of heavy ass extentions on young girls small head,poor tings head can barely keep them things up.
Thats child abuse.
Further more that childs hair is never gonna grow properly and healthily with all the strain you are putting on the scalp from such a young age.
If you are a parent who is reading this and does this,please stop,let de pickney ed breathe!!!
Am not a mother either but I have heard other black mothers chat some BS about thier childrens hair....
I feel you on the hair extentions i have saw a couple of them and they don't look right at all. It is the same when you a two year old and thier mother wishes to but thier hair in a tight pony, whereby you can see the tightness of of childs scalp now that is not right at all.
Ms Price
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Kibibi
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 20:49 |
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jett black wrote: I don't know about all that, as I dont have kids and have never had that experience of some Mother lying about their kids hair?? whats the point
I know what I do hate though is seeing a full head of heavy ass extentions on young girls small head,poor tings head can barely keep them things up.
Thats child abuse.
Further more that childs hair is never gonna grow properly and healthily with all the strain you are putting on the scalp from such a young age.
If you are a parent who is reading this and does this,please stop,let de pickney ed breathe!!!
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bubz
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 20:55 |
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some hair textures can look just like they have been chemically relaxed after a blow out. i dont deny that in some cases the parents are lying, but in some cases what u think is a relaxer may well just be a good blow dry. the hair can look so straight and silky, without knowing u could easily mistake it for a relaxer.
as for the parents putting chemicals on their child's head and lying about it, it must be because they feel ashamed of what they are doing. but then if they feel ashamed, why do it?
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DtotheJ
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 21:25 |
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Melissa wrote: So because i think its wrong to chemically straigthen a childs hair i'm just as bad as the ones who do it????
Sorry but NO!
Quoting their ridiculous ideals or morals does not mean i indirectly hold the same fcked up notions.
Don't put words in my mouth. Your post is about women who relax their kids' hair and then act as though it's natural....,correct?
If that wasn't the point of this thread and I'm mistaken...please let me know...
why do you really care that they try to play it off like the kids have naturally straight hair?
I mean....the fact that people feel the need to do that speaks volumes about them.....and realistcially....don't think you need to be around people like that...
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Vezz.
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Posted: Thursday August 24th, 2006 22:34 |
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Put chemicals in my child's hair???
HELL NO!
And I agree with JB when she says it's child abuse to do so.
Must admit it's the slave mentality that allows this - my Mum is notorious for it (my daughter has "good" hair - practically White/straight, No 1 son - "aww, at least it's brown, like yours" , and No 2 son - "tu'n friz quick, eh? But at least it's brown")
Along with the "straighten the child's nose" comments, I ignore all denigratory comments, and leave my children's features to develop as they should.
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kwela
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Posted: Sunday August 27th, 2006 20:22 |
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Last edited on Sunday August 27th, 2006 20:23 by kwela
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sista girl
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Posted: Sunday August 27th, 2006 22:25 |
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| About a month ago I was in a small shopping centre and there was a small group of African children playing, I spotted one girl who couldn't have been older than 5 or 6 and her hair was relaxed! and pulled up into a high ponytail! I noticed that her hairline was damaged and she had a little bald spot!! I was shaking my head, how could anyone want to relax a child's hair that early in life? the ingraining that our hair is "unmanageble" and has to be straight starts early eh!
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girlfromthenc
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Posted: Monday August 28th, 2006 00:29 |
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I have too many COMPLAINTS about Black mothers in general when it comes to doing their daughters hair that I could start another thread!
I've noticed in general that tons of Black women absolutely don't know what to do with their hair. I see it in evidence in how they treat their daughters hair. Either "we're" putting our baby girl's hair in like a billion plaits so we don't have to touch it/comb it/have to deal with it period!!!!!!!! Or people are putting their daughters hair (some of these kids are like 3 years old) in relaxers and its breaking their hair off (I always noticed little girls with relaxed hair early on because later they always seem to have problems growing hair because their hair has been so badly damaged!
But as fair as my experience I haven't seen too many mothers DENYING that they have altered their childs' hair texture when they have. I've seen women telling other women what "good" hair their child has- when they see a certain child's BABY HAIR which normally changes into a kinkier texture by the time they are 2!
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I have met grown women however, who have relaxers in their hair, and after they wash their hair (which is the case for most Black women I've seen) their hair is a little curly at the ends. In my experience I have seen these women tell people that their hair is NATURALLY CURLY. Well, yeah it is sort of curly considering the fact that they didn't curled it themselves. Yet at the same time they are kind of leading people on because they know their hair is not NATURAL at all! Its been relaxed...........
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girlfromthenc
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Posted: Monday August 28th, 2006 00:32 |
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Your hair dresser might have straighten her daughter hair with a hot comb-which isn't a perm/relaxed because she wouldn't be using chemicals, but at the same time like you said she would have NOTICEABLY altered the girls hair texture!
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I think little styles like this (T-boz and her little daughter) like adorable on little girls and its very quick and simple! No chemicals or anything!
People should teach their daughters that natural doesn't have to mean nappy and unkept!
Last edited on Monday August 28th, 2006 00:51 by girlfromthenc
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Soulstarr
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Posted: Monday August 28th, 2006 01:14 |
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Lady Vee wrote: Put chemicals in my child's hair???
HELL NO!
And I agree with JB when she says it's child abuse to do so.
Must admit it's the slave mentality that allows this - my Mum is notorious for it (my daughter has "good" hair - practically White/straight, No 1 son - "aww, at least it's brown, like yours", and No 2 son - "tu'n friz quick, eh? But at least it's brown")
Along with the "straighten the child's nose" comments, I ignore all denigratory comments, and leave my children's features to develop as they should.
Man these old school mentalities never cease to amaze me... my grandma has runied her hair with either chemicals, glues or heats. This thing is, her hair is naturaly fine and soft anyway so is easily manageable without having to wrestle with a comb every morning like some of us with thicker hair! ( swear some mornings I've almost lost an arm during that battle lol). Last year I suggested that she cut her hair into a cute little low-fro as it would be easy for her to maintain and would really suit her features. but she wouldn't hear if it! She said that they would laugh at her back home. Sad thing is, she's proberbly right
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Saida.M
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Posted: Monday August 28th, 2006 21:21 |
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Help is at hand for some of those hapless parents ...
http://www.africabookcentre.com/acatalog/index.html?http%3A//www.africabookcentre.com/acatalog/Hair_Care.html&CatalogBody
Attachment: Kinki_Kreations.jpeg (Downloaded 205 times)
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Melissa
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Posted: Wednesday August 30th, 2006 16:25 |
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DtotheJ wrote: the only people who would be impressed or offended are those who directly or indirectly believe that straighter hair is better......
think about it....
Sorry if you felt I put words in your mouth, but the above comment to me meant that you were saying that because I am offended by what these mothers do I am indirectly agreeing with them on what 'good' or bad hair is - did i interpret it wrongly?
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DtotheJ
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Posted: Wednesday August 30th, 2006 18:51 |
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if there is no premium placed on "straight/long" hair..then the parents wouldn't feel the need to alter their kids' hair or lie about it....
why should we be offended by people lying about something that has no value in our eyes....?
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HLF
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Posted: Wednesday August 30th, 2006 20:26 |
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Ms Price wrote:
Am like why she lying? Whats wrong with having a cute bush head?
Why do you have to front about about relaxing yr childs hair? I thought the whole point was to elimante the bush?
So why do some black mum's lie about thier childs hair? Can any one answer?
I absolutely think it is based in the twisted perception of "good" and "bad" hair, even the terminology sounds like terms used for negative thought conditioning. Personally, I think no chemical straighters should be used on children's heads at all, I don't even suggest flat irons or combs to be used either until maybe sometime in the late or even after the tweens (8 to 12 years). I think if mothers understood that straightening chemicals usually stunt hair growth over time (when chemicals touch the scalp) and makes the hair even more dry (which makes it more susceptible to breakage), maybe they would be less inclined to put it in their little girls' hair, but there are always the mothers that don't care about that and relax their daughters hair anyways.
I don't think there is just a thing as "good" hair or "bad" hair when it comes to my people, worldwide there are definately a variety of different textures that we have, but what it really amounts to is if people have a good management routine for their hair or bad hair care habits. Other than that I guess many are caught up in wanting what they don't have instead of working with what they have been given.
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Kibibi
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Posted: Wednesday August 30th, 2006 20:46 |
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HLF wrote:
I don't think there is just a thing as "good" hair or "bad" hair when it comes to my people, worldwide there are definately a variety of different textures that we have, but what it really amounts to is if people have a good management routine for their hair or bad hair care habits. Other than that I guess many are caught up in wanting what they don't have instead of working with what they have been given.
Exactly!
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Aryek
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Posted: Friday September 1st, 2006 03:27 |
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Boy, oh boy, this thread is just what the doctor ordered. Ugh, I have a slew of complaints about black mothers who relax and put extentions in their little children's hair. Just while I was at the mall a few months ago, I saw this little girl, she couldn't have been more than 5, with blond extentions down to her back. I was like what the hell? I look at her mother, and the woman had the worst bleached face I have ever seen. Such a sorry sight. I just know what kind of mentality she's likely to transmit to her daughter.
And about grown women relaxing their hair and then wetting it, deliberately not combing it, to get a bit of curls that they then try to pass off as their natural hair, I've seen that. Even one of my friends does that. And when I try to remind her that she has relaxed hair, her usual retort is: "Well the texture's not that different from yours, (which is not true, her's just looks like she got a perm), how do you know that my hair won't be like this if I go natural?" When I ask her why won't she go natural to find that out for herself, she'll quickly change the subject.
Last edited on Friday September 1st, 2006 03:32 by Aryek
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