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Blackthought
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 00:27 |
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We were having a chat at work, one of the thing was how children in this country are so damn rude...and naughty.
I can't speak for all, but in Nigeria you can often smack your neighbours kids.. or any kid if they are really rude to you, ideally you would smack them then follow the child to his/her parents place, to let them know that you smack their kid, with the reason as to why you did it, this is mostly practise with neighbour's kids or parents close friends and family.
Imo I think this definetly plays a key role in children behaving themself in the public, out of the watchful eyes of there parents.
I don't have a kid myself, so I don't know how deep I would feel for someone to smack my kid, if my kid were behaving badly.
Pps what are your opinion on this?.
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Fizzy B
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 09:45 |
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@ BT, Some children round my way are so rude I would just love to give then a quick  slap but God help me if someone laid a hand on my son. No sir!
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Saida.M
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 09:47 |
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| I'd NEVER allow it in this country - can you imagine whites disciplining your child - ya mad!!!
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MissNyomie
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 10:02 |
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In my opinion I would allow my child to be discipline ( if needs be ) only by a member of my immediate family or very close friends, because they would be aware of how far ( by that I mean how hard ) I would slap my child.
Most adults do not know their own strength and have a warped perception of how hard you should slap a child. Children are so unruly these days that if a stranger was to slap a child who knows how far it could go.
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Blackthought
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 10:43 |
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athaba wrote: I'd NEVER allow it in this country - can you imagine whites disciplining your child - ya mad!!!
Would it make a difference if it was a Black person?
Last edited on Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 10:45 by Blackthought
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P-dot
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 11:09 |
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| Apart from me an the father, only person who could smack my kids (an i say smack not slap punch etc) is my mum.... simply for the fact she smacked me and i dint turn out too bad.
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ebony_goddess
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 13:56 |
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only me...my childs dad...or family members
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Vezz.
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 14:51 |
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I know it's common in African and Carribbean communities for neighbours etc to smack kids if they misbehave, but I can't condone anyone smacking mine.
I don't smack my son anymore as it's a waste of time, so why should I allow someone else to?
If you smack someone else's child over here, you're liable to have a gun pushed into your face, so why risk it?
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liberiangirl
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 15:47 |
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| I remember one time my mothers boyfriend gave me a beating when i was little. All hell broke loose..... So to answer the question, no i dont think i would allow anyone to smack my child(my future child, as i dont have any kids right now).... except if my child was under the care of one of my relatives (my trusted relative that is, not all of my relatives would have that privledge. But for the most part no, something someone would smack their child for i may not smack my child for, and i know i would be very angry if someone smacked for beat my kid for something that i would not beat them for.
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liberiangirl
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 15:50 |
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Blackthought wrote: athaba wrote: I'd NEVER allow it in this country - can you imagine whites disciplining your child - ya mad!!!
Would it make a difference if it was a Black person?
Yes its does. Whites have an entirely different way of diciplining their children... i would never allow some white person to hit my kid. How do i know they didnt smack my kid simply because "that little ni**er brat was getting on my nerves.."?
Last edited on Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 20:13 by liberiangirl
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LadyDay
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Posted: Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 20:05 |
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| family can
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blackneck
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Posted: Sunday March 26th, 2006 05:01 |
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Blackthought wrote: We were having a chat at work, one of the thing was how children in this country are so damn rude...and naughty.
I can't speak for all, but in Nigeria you can often smack your neighbours kids.. or any kid if they are really rude to you, ideally you would smack them then follow the child to his/her parents place, to let them know that you smack their kid, with the reason as to why you did it, this is mostly practise with neighbour's kids or parents close friends and family.
Imo I think this definetly plays a key role in children behaving themself in the public, out of the watchful eyes of there parents.
I don't have a kid myself, so I don't know how deep I would feel for someone to smack my kid, if my kid were behaving badly.
Pps what are your opinion on this?. Thats deep!
no way that going down over here in these united states you
feel me? But i do remember that growing up in the projects
in new jersey, My mother had certain friends of the family that would watch over us, And they would be sure to moniter your
hide as we played. But as far as hitting us or any other child
"well... thats a death wish! I remember playing one day and something went down, And one of the neighbors that resided
downstairs make the mistake of grabing me and my sister rather
rought ,It shook my sister up really good, When our mother came home we snitched on mrs hardgrove and her thug out actions
Well cutting right to the chase things turned LEFT!
Our mother looked like she was a mixed martial artist "boy
the jabs and hooks not to mention hair pulling. The fight was
onesided she was no match for a heated black women whose
kids had been attacked by a white women. So what they
do over in another country will not work over here as it relates
to your kids.  
Last edited on Sunday March 26th, 2006 05:03 by blackneck
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AfriCariBrit
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Posted: Thursday March 30th, 2006 14:57 |
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I would fight - literally - anyone who raised their hand to my children... and I include all members of my family and their father in that too... I don't hit them, so noone else can either... but, my children also know that they must conduct themselves in such a way that no adult (especially a family member) ever thinks they needed such a 'beating'... coz if they do and I find out - and I always do find out - ... then OMG... I have a bagful of tircks to deal with unwanted behaviour, by the time I'm done, my children are generally sorry I'm not the type of parent than just beats them and dun... Thankfully to date, neither have given much cause for any adult to wanna hit them... and even though its still early days, I believe that if they were gonna be really troublesome, I'd have a pretty good indication by now... and anyway, the closer my children (my son in particular) gets to teenage, the less chance hitting will do either of us any good... and if hitting has been the major form of 'discipline' I've used till then, then what?... I need to have other tricks up my sleve that aren't dependant on me being physically stronger... When he's too big to be bothered by licks, or worse still, when he starts thinking he's a man and can hit back himself, then what would I do?...
 My mum's just came in and asked what I was upto... I explained and she said, 'don't worry babes, if young man is ever foolish enough to raise his hand to you, you just call your brothers and get them to pin him down and given him a beating he won't forget' 
LOL... I loves my ma, but in many ways I thinks shes prehisotic!
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Maat
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Posted: Friday March 31st, 2006 22:39 |
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In the environments back home respect is of so much more importance. A nation raising a child obviously has more meaning to us but here in the west we are supposed to mind our own business and cast out the child for being disagreeable and put our children forward for ASBO's!! To me it looks like a conflict of cultures.
If a white person was to raise their hand to my child......hm.......let's just say....... the power of the double edge sword is too much to go there right now....
I'm not sure how I would react if one of my family members were to hit one of our children. Naturally I would be defensive but I can't imagine any of them feeling the need to. My mum always talked with and explained things to us. My husbands mum was and is the same. If my sister or I stepped out of line we would be put in our place and if need be would get two lash but that was rare. If any of our teenagers are being out of line usually they will get pull up for it but on a level and not in the same way as the younger children.
When our children are disagreeable in front of family we talk to them and address it in front of the family in a way to show them how we deal with them at home. They then do the same naturally because they see what can work from what doesn't.
Talking and relating I think is the key to approaching the youths today. If we recognize the change in discipline approach from the generation before us to the confusion that is apparent in the generations that followed to date, we have the opportunity to either;
- continue ignoring why they are the way they are or
- take some responsibility for the part we have or have not played in their past, work out how we can walk alongside them now and guide them on in their future
Some may say that they are just young and don't even deserve respect but they have so much to tell and from them we can learn so much. For the teenagers it seems that they just don't feel respected so they rebel. Just thinking about it now in my current situation I'm thinking that being disrespected as a child is proof to that. Ok some of this is natural but there was a time where children wouldn't dream of asking for respect. With respect comes trust and once we have trust a stronger foundation can be made.
Another thing I've been looking into more lately is diet and nutrition. The impact that food can have on your moods and mindset is amazing. I'm not just talking about junk food either. Did any of you see a programme maybe a few months ago now that had a chef cook nothing but meals made from scratch for a young boy who had ADHD or similar? Getting the boy involvedin cooking the food seemed to bring out the good in him. Although the boy's behaviour wasn't "cured" it improved a lot within a week!
Something to think about.....hope that answers your questions...
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Maat
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Posted: Friday March 31st, 2006 22:40 |
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 Last edited on Friday March 31st, 2006 22:43 by Maat
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Maat
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Posted: Friday March 31st, 2006 22:40 |
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Don't know what happened there I think the mice need a pay rise Last edited on Friday March 31st, 2006 22:43 by Maat
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HatHaruhotep
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Posted: Saturday April 1st, 2006 12:09 |
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| Hell to the no. If I had any children, any adult who hits them is getting hit by ME.
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All C-in
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Posted: Saturday April 1st, 2006 17:37 |
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I dont have any kids, but am a firm believer in the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" if I did live in a neighborhood I would feel as though my neighbors should help me raise my children and vice versa. You as a parent can't be everywhere all the time. But I would only give them permission if I felt they had the same views as I do. And YES they have to be Blk.
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Posted: Wednesday April 5th, 2006 14:17 |
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Blackthought,
I never remembred being smaked by my neighbors, but my mother would give her closest neighbors/friends to do it.( though they never did it because I never acted up around them). These days, there are many children who deserve it, but I don't do it. However, I will verbally chastise them about their actions.
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Afriki
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Posted: Wednesday April 5th, 2006 17:51 |
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| if you do a good job of teaching your children respect ,yourself, then you wouldn't have to worry about someone wanting to smack them. I think I would let my family, my husband's family do it. I don't have kids yet so as of now, i'm just talking.
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sweet_ebony
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Posted: Thursday April 6th, 2006 00:11 |
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| lol i got beat a lot by my 'aunty' and 'uncle' not blood relations but u know how us africans do it! it did more harm than good, bad memories , i strongly disagree with physically disciplining a child! especially someone else doing it!I WOULD NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO SMACK MY CHILD, THEY'LL HAVE TO DO ME FIRST!
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DARKSIDER
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Posted: Thursday September 14th, 2006 17:02 |
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if i had faith in the very society i live in i wouldnt have a problem with any ADULT hittin my child if he stepped out of line its not like a boy his age wont slap him if he thought he was giving him a bad look in this very society we live in (ya feel me?)
BUT
because i have absolutely no trust faith or love for the soil im standing on today (thats bristish soil) i wouldnt allow anyone but a KNOWN relative to me to even shout at my child.
we live in a society where people are stupid enough to march into their kids school and give the teachers grief for telling of their child when they was damn right rude.
so i put it to you that if that is how ADULTS in this society that are obsessed with being wrong and strong are behaving in regards to their OWN child how on gods earth am i allowing them to hit my child.
NEVER THAT
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Melissa
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Posted: Thursday September 14th, 2006 17:17 |
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Kids thse days need to learn manners, discipline and respect for their elders, that is seriously lacking in society.
It is for this reason that I allow my family and close friends to chastise my children as they see fit, coz If i see their child actin up on the street they will be hearing my mouth.
I'm glad i've got eyes and ears all over the place because I have to work, I can't watch my kids all day long, and my kids so far (touch wood) have been great, no cause for concern at all.
I last gave my eldest a beating 5 years ago, the little one is yet to receive his first.
They know right from wrong, and they know not to take the piss with me, but if they do this with another adult, who is not allowed to discipline them then all they have to do is make sure I don't find out, I'd prefer to know that the same manners and respect they have for me as their mother is shown to all members of the family and close friends who are considered family, OR ELSE!
Neighbours at my mothers house are considered family, and should never have to chastise my childen anyway, they have been brought up to respect those people from birth and have done so so far. But if it came down to it, I'd allow it.
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DARKSIDER
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Posted: Thursday September 14th, 2006 17:27 |
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Melissa wrote:
Kids thse days need to learn manners, discipline and respect for their elders, that is seriously lacking in society.
It is for this reason that I allow my family and close friends to chastise my children as they see fit, coz If i see their child actin up on the street they will be hearing my mouth.
I'm glad i've got eyes and ears all over the place because I have to work, I can't watch my kids all day long, and my kids so far (touch wood) have been great, no cause for concern at all.
I last gave my eldest a beating 5 years ago, the little one is yet to receive his first.
They know right from wrong, and they know not to take the piss with me, but if they do this with another adult, who is not allowed to discipline them then all they have to do is make sure I don't find out, I'd prefer to know that the same manners and respect they have for me as their mother is shown to all members of the family and close friends who are considered family, OR ELSE!
Neighbours at my mothers house are considered family, and should never have to chastise my childen anyway, they have been brought up to respect those people from birth and have done so so far. But if it came down to it, I'd allow it.
true stories
i believe that if parents that are unacquainted was more open with each other they SHOULD say to the parents if they see them in person and know its the bad childs parents that their child has been keeping up foolishness but ya see the problem with that is many parents have the wrong and strong attitude.
i can just imagine someone saying "NOT MY SON/ DAUGHTER" and im sure you will agree and then when that thought comes to ya head you then realise ya walking into a potential argument then ya think why should i even bother
alie?
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Posted: Friday September 15th, 2006 12:06 |
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