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Pregnancy - lets discuss
 Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya  

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LadyDay
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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 17:02

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On these boards there is so much negativity surrounding pregnancy etc. but no discussion on what its like to be or gone through pregnancy...

so this thread is about discussing pregnancy. i want to know how was yours. did you handle it well or were you constantly sick. i was told my friends wife ended up in hospital because her morning sickness was that bad she was getting weak.

people talk about cravings..but not all have it.

when did you start to show a visible belly etc.

dont forget labour...i have heard its easy to the pain is never ending to well when the baby was born the pain was forgotten. pethodine epidurals natural water etc.

lets discuss

**********please note any post which is deemed off topic will be deleted. this thread is only for the discussion of being pregnant going through it etc. **********************

Last edited on Sunday July 10th, 2005 17:04 by LadyDay



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 17:51

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niceone.gifthis sounds like it's going to be a really interesting topic. where's all the posts!! i cant wait to read them as i cant comment myself.

;)



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 18:26

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I would like to talk about it but not sure if men are allowed but in a context of PREGNANCY,CHILDBIRTH & PARENTHOOD



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 18:30

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@coltrane...you could discuss it but this thread is not about parenthood. just about pregancy and yes giving birth too. whilst i understand that parenthood comes next .. it will only take this thread off topic of what i want to see discussed.

so as long as you keep it about the pregnancy experience as such you can discuss.



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 18:41

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Ante-natal classes

how do women feel about them and what if a man doesnt attend? would you trust the so called health professionals?



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 18:43

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pregnancy..such a dangerous thing. My first proper gf bled and bled and bled at childbirth, Baby died, she very nearly died. Changed my view of women and pregnancy.



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 19:09

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jazztalking wrote: pregnancy..such a dangerous thing. My first proper gf bled and bled and bled at childbirth, Baby died, she very nearly died. Changed my view of women and pregnancy.


gosh thats so sad. my friend she felt weak after giving birth but she said she bled for 6 weeks. she said it was so depressing.



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 20:18

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How appropriate!

My first pregnancy was 18 years ago, so most of it is hazy. I couldn't drink alcohol, or smoke. I had bad morning sickness too.The most I remember is the PAIN. Yes, ladies, it hurts like hell! My labour was 6 hours - every hour hurt. I screamed for an epidural, but her head was almost through at that stage, so I had no pain relief. The other thing was she was born on the day of the King's Cross Fire, in which I lost a friend, so it was both a happy and sad day for me.

My second, 6 years ago, was entirely different. I could smoke and drink. I also suffered slight morning sickness. Labour was 6 hours also. I had to be induced as he didn't seem to want to come out! I had gas and air which, according to my brother, turned me into the girl from "The Exorcist"!

This one, my third, is tiring. I'm not sure if it's because of my age. I also suffered bad morning sickness. I don't smoke anymore anyway, but I can't drink my beloved wine. I had a small glass and it knocked me out for the day! Even now I feel slightly nauseous at times. I also suffer from bad headaches. My doctor says it's hormonal. And my breasts - the pain! I've had my 12 week scan and, as usual, she's sleeping (I've had a few scans, and I'm convinced it's a girl because I'm so hormonal!).

This time I'm going to get a TENS machine, which should help with the labour. It's too much pain to go through without pain relief, but Entonox (gas & air) can leave the baby drowsy, and the epidural means I won't feel anything.

Only 5 months to go..................................

 



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LadyDay
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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 20:51

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lady vee wow

well for me so far i have had 2 scans baby has been so active on both that on the second when it seemed baby rested the sonographer took a pictire just before baby started moving again.

this is my first. i have been giving loads of conflicting info too

so far no issues. when i found out i had the extremely sensitive boobs whereby i couldnt lay on them or even have the slightest thing brush pass them. i had aches in my tum which turned out to be trapped wind. i havent had any morning sickness touch wood. just heartburn here and there. i will be having a 26 week scan in a few weeks. i also have to do a glucose tolerance test 9gestational diabetes in other words) which i have been told is nasty. i have to go nill by mouth over night then head to hospital early morning. and nil by mouth until they have taken my blood so i may not get to eat until 12 that day.

i hated when they took my blood at the 12 wk scan 5 bottles/vials full. well at least i know i have no sickle cell trait.

i know baby head is at the top at the mo. still in amazement how a few hard presses against belly can tell that.

luckily for me my boobs reach further than by belly. so know one can really tell. i look like one those is she or isnt she. on a mission to find some nice tracksuits.

due end of oct

Last edited on Sunday July 10th, 2005 20:56 by LadyDay



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 21:17

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I never looked pregnant just biiiigggg all over, I ate and ate stupidly thinking it would just drop off when I gave birth..it didnt!

I didnt have any cravings,morning sickness, swollen ankles, piles or any other common symptoms of pregnancy.

I was in labour for 26 hours and had gas and air, I dont like needles so didnt have an epidural.

The pain for me was like period pain times a thousand..I expected it to be alot more painful.

I didnt go to any pre natal classes cos i thought when the time came my body would tell me what to do.

My husband was present when I gave birth even though he didnt want to be (In his country the men dont attend the birth).

The best feeling in the world is seeing your baby for the first time...7 years on I still feel truly blessed.

 



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 22:36

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Awww LadyDay many congratulations sis... clp)clp)clp)clp).  I am so thrilled for you.

We definitely need sisters like you and LadyVee to bring up the next generation strong African/Black children.  Just make sure to have that baby on October 31st clp).

Congrats once again sis banana.gif.   



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 Posted: Sunday July 10th, 2005 22:53

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:shock:Oh Ladyday is with child...wow...congrats sisclp)clp)

How nice that you and Lady Vee are expecting at the same time.....ahhh:)



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 00:53

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:) Is it true you get more horny when you're pregnant, or does the sight of a man turn you right off?

:? Can you control the way you eat, or is it cravings, cravings, cravings?

And LadyDay, doesn't drinking and smoking during pregnancy lead to asthmatic, underweight and stressed out babies???



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 01:37

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Ladyday: My first was born exactly twenty two years ago, and i still remember it as if it were yesterday.......so from a fathers perspective...

First no one told me that having a baby could take so looooooong, like in the films the woman breaks her water goes into labour and then walla baby.... 

So imagine my shock wife goes into labour 8am Wednesday morning I dash with wife to Guys hospital and I wait and wait and wait and wait......Now don't i feel stupid!!!

No one told me about a woman dialating duh, don't i feel stupid part two, so imagine my shock when said nurse...starts to tell me about 8 inches and how said wife is only 2 inches bwoy was i not impressed...

So here am I doing the dutyful father/husband bit, you know the hand holding and giving the there, there it will be alright speech....

whilst next door some white woman screams blue murder and tells the doctors and midwives looking after her, to go forth and multiply, questions their parenthood and even better does a very close reenactment of the Exercist part 2...

Next shock was Stirrups...why did no one tell me about Stirrups....imagine my shock having spent a sleepless  night at Guys..in the maternity suite..pacing, hand holding and praying...come 9am Thursday ....Doctos goes ok time...

Out come these Stirrups and a gaggle of doctor & nurses from nowhere to watch the birth of our first daughter.....and out come the Stirrups... hmmmmmmm not impressed but hey its not my legs up in the air...Then comes shock number four, the colour of BLACK babies ...near white...like no one told me boy was i nearly ready to deck te wife thinking she had been hanky pankying with the bloody milkman....

 

That said in all seriousness seeing the first one born was absolutely the best feeling I ever had, hmmmm come to think of it she will a another year older next month...how time flies eh? 

Last edited on Monday July 11th, 2005 07:34 by Kunjufu



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 07:33

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@ LadyDay,

Congratulations! It's worth it in the end - honestly! I can't imagine being without my 2 and a half (!). Have you thought about the pain relief you're going to have? Are you also having trouble sleeping?

I hear you abount the wind:shock:. What about constipation? Sometimes the pain is indescribable - many times I thought I was miscarrying (hence the scans!). I think I'm more paranoid now than before, oddly enough.

I hated the 12 week blood tests also, mainly because I have small veins and it's difficult to draw blood. I'm rhesus negative, and Hubby is positive, so pity me with the anti-d injections I'll be having in the next few weeks - those needles are biiiiggg!

Each experience is different, so don't take someone else's word for it. It hurts, yes, but the end product is so, so beautiful.

I'm walking around pushing my belly out so I can get a seat on the train!

@ Kunjufu,

  

I see you didn't attend any ante-natal classes......

Both mine were born almost White, with what is called a Mongolian Bluespot. It looks like they're bruised on their backs and bums. It only fades after a couple of years.

:shock:They still use stirrups? I had my son at Guys - didn't like it there at all.



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 07:41

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Lady Vee: Actually I never missed an Anti Natal class from the moment of conception, they never mention the paleness.... Oh I should have mentioned that my first was born over twenty years ago.....Oops



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 08:05

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Kunjufu,

I was actually referring to the fact you didn't realise the cervix has to dilate to 10cms....

It seems you have a similar age difference in your children as me - my eldest will be 18 when this one's born.



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 08:22

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Ladyday Congrats!!! clp)clp)clp)

Don't know anything about pregnancy yet : - ), but wonderful news in any case...



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 09:29

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@Ladyday

congratulation

a woman of your calibra will indeed progress the next generation into the right direction.

Bless



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 17:35

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@all thanks for the congrats.

@tru-afri-can .... i dont smoke and since i found out i was expecting alcohol hasnt graced my lips

@lady vee..epidurals look so scary that i am praying to God Jesus and the Holy Spirit that i wont need one. seen them on tv once too many. i am thinking gas an air and maybe pethodine. i am such a character that med staff best beware i wann know everything. i just hope they dont put no needle in my hand as that looks way too painful too.

@abssinia my cousins birthday is on the 30th and my friend is on the 31st they both want it on their day.

@kunjufu you are a joker. as for babies skin my child could be any shade really as the underneath of my arms are quite pale and the the rest of me is what i like but hey i wont panic. my hubby says he will be there telling me to push, he is hoping that we will have a next one shortly after. ... he is dreaming can you say injection

my appetite is smaller so i just eat lighter foods as i go along. i rarely feel i can clap sunday dinner like i used to. i was concerned baby werent getting what it needs but each scan has shown growth.

heartburn is no joke people. never had it before till now. oh yeah sleeping is ok. though i love sleeping on my stomach but baby aint having that starts moving hectily so its side to side.



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 17:38

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oh yeah i am rhesus positive so no anti-d for me. i read about anti d and i have been told that the injections are painful.

 



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 18:58

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My my first and only son is 7 years old.
My pregnancy was absolutely plain sailing from day one till say 8 months. I'm quite small, and was surprised  I didn't show properly until I was about 5  and half months. No sickness, just tiredness. Don't know what happened but at 8 month I simply or my belly exploded. Turned into one of those waddling mums, was only way to walk. My friends would come round and watch my child fight me (child kicked all the time) I would literally have to poke him back into place.
Had only one scan, and that's when I found out it was a boy.

I was told he was gona be a long baby. I went over my due date by almost two weeks. Went into slow labour but I didn't know that..just thought yep it's time etc. Well let me tell you .. Had pains from friday but never knew what they were ..too infrequent etc.. went to hospital at say 5am, only to be told I was only 2cm dialated. Had to stay overnight, it wasn't nice, pure pain whole night, tried their lukewarm bath, didn't work..

I was very relaxed through my pregnancy and never panicked, and even tho my baby was takin his time coming, I just got on with it..anyway .. sat flew by ..but by sunday morning I was begging the lady to be induced.. and I was absolutely knackered..so they broke my waters..then gave me pethidine.. this actually helped make the pain easier to cope with .. was really wierd..as I could still feel the the pain but it dulled it or took the edge off.. for first time in few days I walked around, encouraging baby to come. I had a show (slimy sumting or other) got excited thinking things are gona progress. W.. child still on longting, I then had the epidural, gas n air made me feel sick, .... first time I lost my calm..doctor askin me to be perfectly still for that big asss needle..dis time now I'm a big ole lump that can hardly move! anyway this was about 7pm.. by this time I am only 5cm dialated.. come midight .. they were like ' It's taking too long'. You've failed to progresss, we're gona have to give ya a C secton'.

Not happy but too exhausted to complain. I stayed awake and screamed thru the mask thing.. (my son's father was in the room with me, holding hand)..bout how they man handling me..way man was rummaging in ma belly like mechanic digs out car.. same way!!!   my boy came into world Mon morning at 2 sumting in da morning .. and he was wait. 9pounds 4lbs. If I had to push him out ..I woulda dead!!!  Everything happens for a reason. He was a very good baby.. slept thru the night from day two.. first time he slept til 4am.. enjoyed hospital stay and all the fuss.. and he was a great baby... I have to say that I have noticed in hospitals they over feed babies, even when they're not hungry.. My son got a urine tract infection when he was about 6 months.. if you ever saw how fat he was when he came out!!! 

typical boy now.. talks too much ..and energy levels are just abnormal..but that's kids for ya eh?!! but I alwasy say I wouldn't have it any other way ..cos he is my SUNSHINE... never fails to make me break out in smile ...

Last edited on Monday July 11th, 2005 19:05 by eskay



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 19:19

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from reading these posts I feel like a little baby in here but enjoying reading every post...

 



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 Posted: Monday July 11th, 2005 21:41

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@ladyday my bday is also on the 31st and judging by how good i've turned out smoking-devil i think it'll be the best day to welcome the baby, who could well be the next Garvey or Malcolm X or Dr King :) (Not sure why but i have a strong feeling it'll be a boy)  

@Ahhh Coltrane are you feeling broody?

On a serious note, I am very much enjoying reading everyone's story, but i am not ashamed to say it's scaring the hell outta me.  I already knew pregnancy and giving birth will have some pain involved but never thought about the hours and hours and days and days of pain :shock:.  

Maximum respect to those who are/were brave enough to go through that, but as much as i easily adapt to situations i still don't like pain or any sort of discomfort.  I think i'll probably just stick to adopting.   



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 08:08

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Lol@Eskay.

Boys sure are trouble, ain't they? My son could EAT! I couldn't shop with him without stopping every 10 minutes to stick the breast in his mouth. I tried to give him a dummy - spat that straight out!

Abs,

It really is worth it in the end. Look at me, the original scaredy cat, doing it for the THIRD time!

Coltrane,

Ahhhhhh. I can't wait to hear you're going to be a Daddy!

Ladyday,

For some reason I've had to have the anti d with all my pregnancies, although I was told it should only be after the first. Also make sure they test you for strep B. I have it, apparently, and the pumped my son full of anibiotics for the first 5 days of his life. Be careful - it's a killer, and I didn't even know I had it.



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 08:22

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Congrats Ladyday

I knew it was comming soon.

Anyway may I ask a question????....just wonderd would you consider your future child British? Jamaican assuming your you british born jamaican with a jamaican hubby....or indeed living up to the theme of the village African?

Its nothing personal Ive just often wonderd what the children of 2 black brits would be classed as (although this doesnt really apply to you)

anyway god bless and good luck with thr pregnancy

 



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 10:13

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Did anyone watch the programme following the growth and development of a fetus ? Cant remember what it was called but it was amazing ! Like how after just 10 weeks it smiles and yawns ... anyway it got me feeling broody for a quick mintue ( considerin im only 16 lol ).

My mum said with me ( her first ) she was still skinny after she gave birth and the labour went pretty smoothly. My two younger sisters on the other hand gave her mad cravings for tiptops and cucumbers and apprently the birth was SO painful she was cussin n e one who tried to calm her down lol

Im still at a young age so my priorities might change but i just dont think i could go through 9 months of discomfort then hours of labour and what will be left of my body afterwards..i didnt realise how selfish that sounds! Then again mothers are always telling me how nothing compares to giving birth and the feeling you get from knowing the babys a part of you!.  



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 17:08

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Black_power wrote: Congrats Ladyday

I knew it was comming soon.

Anyway may I ask a question????....just wonderd would you consider your future child British? Jamaican assuming your you british born jamaican with a jamaican hubby....or indeed living up to the theme of the village African?

Its nothing personal Ive just often wonderd what the children of 2 black brits would be classed as (although this doesnt really apply to you)

anyway god bless and good luck with thr pregnancy





i always tick the african-caribbean option. my child will grow up with a jamaican culture as standard but also with an understanding of africa and how her people became dispersed. the child wont be confused. british? only on the passport.


 



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 17:12

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seen seen I feel dat.

 



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 23:14

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Ohh boy

everyone cant wait for me  to get married

everyone cant wait for me to have babies

I am now scared of the whole thing escially after seing my friend whose wife was  pregnant

Man that woman has some antics at times she had cravings for UHT milk at every 6 ocklock in the morning..then she kicked out her housemaid whom she falsely acussed of stealing from the husband...then she started forcing him to cook her  in the same inhospitable hours and forcing him to eat with her even though he didnt feel like

after couple of months she started HATING him so much that she had to go and stay with her relative/family..there also when ever the husband went to see her she refused to meet him as she claimed she HATE her

guess what 54 weeks before she deliverd she started claiming SHE WANTS HER HUSBAND BACK which of course she moved back to her house with the husband

i am not sure if i can take tha personally but  i have something about pregnant women...I like that and I even like more seeing a woman breatfeed..ohhh boy..its just me  or what?



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 Posted: Tuesday July 12th, 2005 23:19

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Ladyday

Congrats on your pregnancy may the ancestors guide and protect you , I now know why you created a topic stating sometimes you want to be single Ha ha ha ha all makes sense now  ;)



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 16:08

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Mafdet wrote: Ladyday

Congrats on your pregnancy may the ancestors guide and protect you , I now know why you created a topic stating sometimes you want to be single Ha ha ha ha all makes sense now  ;)





there is actually more to it than that. but the baby hasnt given me that feeling.

@coltrane i intend to breastfeed...my friends reckon my boobs are so big the baby will suffocate. baby will be in paradise. plus i have been warned just grit teeth grin and bear through the pain as whether you breastfeed or not your boobs will ache but the feeling goes away

my friend said when she was breastfeeding she felt her stomach muscles tighten



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 17:44

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@ladyday

ohhh boy

(i bet you know what I was about to say)

by the way where is Soofresh?



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 18:48

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LadyDay wrote: my friend said when she was breastfeeding she felt her stomach muscles tighten


That's because of the pain.....;)

Breastfeeding does hurt, but it's worth it in the end. However, if you can't don't beat yourself up about it. It's very difficult, and if the baby is a gannet like mine, well you'll be feeding every hour - day and night!

I got sore nipples and couldn't feed. I expressed the milk and the nurses gave it to him in a cup. Yes, my son was feeding from a cup at 2 days old!

 



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 18:54

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wow. i read about nipple shields for when they get cracked and sore. and mammory soothers i think they are called.

 



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 19:21

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COLTRANE wrote: by the way where is Soofresh?

=========================================================

urm

I have never been pregnant....................and not looking to for another 10-15 years.........................if i am up for it.............................theirfore I can't really contribute to this thread.......................


 



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 19:27

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i keep reading on preggers websites about debates about bras. now should you stop wearing underwired or does it not matter?

for me underwired all the way. boobs way too big for that no support



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 20:20

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My pregnancy was a shock because at 18 i had a ectopic pregnancy and lost one of my fallopian tubes and so was sure that my fertility would be decreased. 4 years later imagine my shock when i went on holiday and was feeling sick the whole time, i was sure that it was the flight and that and then it just go too much so when i got back i went to the doctor. The doctor asked me various questions including "could you be pregnant" and i was adament that the answer was "no", as i had been taking the pill and may have only missed a day or two (something that i did for most of the time at that age and including that fact that i only had 1 fallopian tube) so i was convinced it couldnt be. But my doc did a test just to be sure and walla......POSITIVE!! Couldnt believe it....was really happy....very tearful but only because i thought i was going to have a hard time conceiving and couldnt believe what would be happening over the next 8 months.

Had been with my partner for 4 years and it wasnt planned, but we were really happy, from day one of finding out we both enjoyed the pregnancy. I was a bit ill and had the whole constipation and fatigue thing, but honest to god it was worth it. I started to show at about 4 months and the most amazing feeling was when i first felt her move....i thought i had bad wind!!!! Then i got my partner and mum to feel my belly and they said it was the baby moving. I loved my bump, it made me feel kinda sexy and confident. I didnt really put on that much weight, i just had a nice neat bump and the best part of all I HAVE NO STRETCH MARKS!! My mum has six kids and has none either so i am just hoping that i inherit this from her!! I was in labour for 23 hours, i swore, told my partner that it was his fault for doing this to me and called everybody every name under the sun and then finally she came out. My first memory after the last push was a picture that will always stay in my mind and that was my partner holding her in his arms and a tear running down his face....it was really sweet....the sun was shining thru the window behind him and it was a lovely day. Then 6 hours later and home again. Now i look at her and i think how proud i am of our little family. Even tho shes at that terrible twos stage shes lovely and i cant think why we didnt try for her sooner, in fact me and my partner are talking about a little brother or sister for Renee now. I cant wait. I'd do it all again.



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 Posted: Wednesday July 13th, 2005 21:58

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 Hello and congrats on your pregnancy   – Bless your family  
 
When I had my daughter I was so very excited. I was not expecting her at all.
Infact I thought I could never become pregnant.
I had just started a new job and turned 21. 
 So excited now I could go to the clubs, drink and have an adulthood. Have pure fun!! But I meet my husband/
Daughter’s father in the club, we fell in love. To me it was weird.  I was not looking
for a man at the time. Anyhow I’m partying and living it up until one day I thought I was going thru
the hang over of my life! A whole week this new illness, I for sure won’t be doing anymore drinking.
I was bout ready to go to the hospital. Then something told me to buy a pregnancy test, what can it hurt? I take the test, so pissed that I just wasted my money on this test. Trickle on the stick and know (1) purple line will show, POOF!!! Not (1) but (2!) Lovely purple lines appeared. I could not believe it! I swear I had to of sat on that toilet for an hour crying cause I had no clue what I was going to do.

Nothing tasted the same. I’d smoke a cig. and I'd get the greatest head rush (that only happened when I first started smoking) I was
Eating whole half gallons of rocky road ice cream, jars of pickles, salt and vinegar chips,
And oooooohhhh so yummy OLIVES!! The salt was all I wanted.
I hated the smell of air fresheners, eggs, and certain incenses. Tacos were chucked instantly, the bus and train smells were
Intensified a gazillion times. Sleep was all I wanted to do after I ate. And the heat KILLED ME
Mood swings were a b**ch! My brother and sisters steered clear of me most times when they seen something just went wrong,
Or not!
This lasted for 9 whole months my god! were they glad to see me have this child that was making me crazier then I already was.

The only thing that I disliked or regret was not being able to have her vaginally  
I felt like I was missing something. Or im not a 100% mother because I did not bare the pain of going thru vaginal labor.



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 Posted: Thursday July 14th, 2005 07:52

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LadyDay wrote: i keep reading on preggers websites about debates about bras. now should you stop wearing underwired or does it not matter?

for me underwired all the way. boobs way too big for that no support


You're not supposed to wear underwired bras as they interfere with the production of milk.

I'm also a very big-boobed lady, and have lots of non-underwired bras that I ordered mail-order at a reasonable price. Also NCT are quite reasonable. If you'd like to know where I got them from, pm me.

I don't know how you can still use them - it was bliss for me not to!!



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