|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya |
|
|
| Author | |
|---|
Ms_Underst00d
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday April 11th, 2004 |
| Location: | ~ * ~, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 443 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday August 30th, 2004 09:42 |
|
(1st of all due to recent event's i find myself in a position where i have to state i took this from another site!! I did ask the guy who posted it on the other site for permission but i did not write this myself oki  )
Have you ever wondered what all those fancy names and terms associated with computers actually mean?
Well, here's your chance to find out with the...
Glossary of computer terms!
Alpha
Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta
Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." It is worth noting that "Release 1.0" can also be translated as "still doesn't work but rent was due".
Computer
Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf became so enraged at the "Incompatible File Format" error message that he shot himself. The war ended soon after Hitler's death, and Duffy began working for IBM.
CPU
Central propulsion unit. The CPU is the computer's engine. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that's powered by a running rodent - a gerbil if the machine is a old machine, a ferret if it's more recent and a ferret on speed if it's a "performance model".
Default Directory
Black hole. Default directory is where all files that you need disappear to. The default directory exists in part to ensure you lose some important files when you (or a virus) reformat your hard drive.
Error message
Terse, baffling remark used by programmers to place blame on users for the program's shortcomings.
File
A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name. It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinet - except when you try to remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown.
Hardware
Collective term for any computer-related object that can be kicked or battered, often without breaking.
Help
What we all need. Actually, it is the feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything... but now it's their fault and they should buy more RAM.
Input/Output
Information is input from the keyboard as intelligible data and output to the printer as unrecognizable junk.
Interim Release
A programmer's feeble attempt at repentance. (like this one... emmm)
Memory
Of computer components, the most generous in terms of variety, and the skimpiest in terms of quantity.
Printer
A joke in poor taste. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Programmers
Computer avengers. Once members of that group of high school nerds who wore tape on their glasses, played Dungeons and Dragons, and memorized Star Trek episodes; now millionaires who create "user-friendly" software to get revenge on whoever gave them noogies.
Reference Manual
Object that raises the monitor to eye level. Also used to compensate for that short table leg.
Scheduled Release Date
A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.
User-Friendly
Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to a programmer.
Users
Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
- Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
- Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
- Expert Users - People who break other people's computers.
Last edited on Monday August 30th, 2004 09:46 by Ms_Underst00d
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
umbrarchist
Villager
| Joined: | Monday May 2nd, 2005 |
| Location: | Wisconsin USA |
| Posts: | 1402 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday February 6th, 2007 18:20 |
|
Ha Ha! I decided to dig in the dustbin insted of start a new thread but I discovered a bit of computer history yesterday.
A British journalist, Jeremy Clackson, made some historical documentaries on tech stuff and I found this one about computers.
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK4P9RP1QyA
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7VyNunTUMQ
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iXINlHgA7c
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFrnxMQadUw
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUeMCDHlF7c
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 6
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJOYez3FAH4
Jeremy Clarkson COMPUTER EP2 PART 7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7mjVtFR4og
I took my first computer course in 1969 and joind IBM in 1978 and I have never heard of Tommy Flowers. Everything I've read and heard gave the impression that Turing built Collosus.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Flowers
Of course Clarkson didn't mention John von Neumann and I have always heard Collosus was a decrypting machine not a general purpose computer. ENIAC had 10 times as many tubes and it still wasn't a von Neumann machine.
umbra
Last edited on Tuesday February 6th, 2007 19:24 by umbrarchist
____________________
Beware of Vulcans from the Dark Side
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
The Watcher
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 11th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 11353 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday February 7th, 2007 15:50 |
|
You do seem taken with theoretical vn machines of late... have you heard the idea that the only ones we know of so far is ourselves?
Best example in sci-fi are the monoliths in 2001 space odessy. Check 2010 odessy 2 when they eat jupiter and turn it into a star.
Last edited on Wednesday February 7th, 2007 16:00 by The Watcher
____________________
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I...
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
umbrarchist
Villager
| Joined: | Monday May 2nd, 2005 |
| Location: | Wisconsin USA |
| Posts: | 1402 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday February 7th, 2007 22:28 |
|
You do seem taken with theoretical vn machines of late... have you heard the idea that the only ones we know of so far is ourselves?
Theoretical??
um
____________________
Beware of Vulcans from the Dark Side
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
The Watcher
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 11th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 11353 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday February 8th, 2007 02:45 |
|
| There are no self replicating and self designing machines yet.
____________________
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I...
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
umbrarchist
Villager
| Joined: | Monday May 2nd, 2005 |
| Location: | Wisconsin USA |
| Posts: | 1402 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday February 8th, 2007 04:57 |
|
There are no self replicating and self designing machines yet.
The term von Neumann machine has two usages. Von Neumann came up with the idea he called a Universal Constructor. Some people started calling that "von Neumann machine." That is what you are referring to.
Theoretical VNM
After the ENIAC computer was completed von Neumann wrote a paper for an improved design of a computer. This paper got circulated and people started calling it "von Neumann machine." When I use the term this is what I am talking about which is what almost all computers are, or slight variations of same with multiple CPUs.
Real VNM
umbrarchist
____________________
Beware of Vulcans from the Dark Side
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
The Watcher
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 11th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 11353 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday February 8th, 2007 05:45 |
|
| thanx for clearing thatup
____________________
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I...
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
|
|
Current time is 14:43 | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Join the
Blacknet
mailing list
|
|
