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ebony
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Posted: Sunday August 31st, 2003 01:03 |
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Recently purchased a book called why men cheat two satements stood out. the first suggested that men know which women to chose who they can get away with it, the second suggested that men can sometimes follow a pattern ie father mother cheated etc ..... But also do black men get insecure with who they are and simply need there ego inflating.
This is not a dissing forum but would be interested to hear others views
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Sunday August 31st, 2003 01:08 |
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Ebony: I'm curious do men cheat with other men or do they cheat with other women, if it is with the latter then isn't it more acurate to ask why do people(men & women) who cheat? Don't get me wrong yes I know that lots of men cheat, but I get a little fed up with the ASSumption that women are not indulging in the same practise in equally high numbers...so why do they cheat?
Kunjufu...African heart African mind
Last edited on Sunday August 31st, 2003 08:01 by Kunjufu
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Prince Hakeem
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Posted: Sunday August 31st, 2003 03:46 |
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LOL not to start a gender war or anything, but I read a statistic stating that in fact, women cheat MORE than men. The difference is that they are a lot more discreet about it. Also, you find that when men cheat it's always because they're "dogs, but when it's the females there is always some justification for it ie "he always neglects me" or something of the sort.
That is all. 
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tigress
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Posted: Sunday August 31st, 2003 05:07 |
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Men cheat simply to boost their inflated egos....or perhaps they believe they can get away with it....even so ...it makes you wonder whether these men has any conscience at all and how is it they face their women at home.....Still not all men are without morals...some are actually decent therefore it would be wrong to say all black men cheat as its not only the male gender and quite a few females tend to entertain themselves although they have a decent hard working brother providing for them....But perhaps with both gender its the lack of LOVE....or maybe INSECURITY....LOW SELF CONFIDENCE ...who knows... but the bottom line is it happens and its frequent in our society....sad though that people choose to live their lives in a dishonest way ...surely the point of having a partner is trusting loving confiding ....feeling at peace...it makes you wonder how all this can be when CHEATING continues in the relationship....xxx
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Mafdet
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Posted: Sunday August 31st, 2003 07:41 |
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In my late teen and early 20's I have to confess I cheated twice in two different relationship.......WHY.......because I wanted too and I knew I could get away with it.
When I later confessed to some of my friends I was surprised to learn how many others had cheated also. I didn't do it because my boyfriends at the time was neglecting me or lacking something in the relationship. I did it because like a child in a candy store I wanted to sample all the goods and thought why the heck not so I did. I did it because I knew my boyfriend wouldn't get to know about it in any shape or form and I just wanted the action once.........(but evidently at two different times ...ooops  )
Sometimes there is no concrete reason for doing so unless someone is going to come on here and say there were some deep rooted issues within me 
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Dada
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Posted: Monday September 1st, 2003 08:41 |
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@Ebony;
Men like to have sex with many women - we are programmed that way. In the West we live in a secular society that was based on "Christian" values. That is why people "grow up" believing in the idea of phyiscal fidelity.
There are practical reasons for this - that relate to Humans as animals, surety of children maintaining a family unit etc.
But the reality of the Christiansecular society rules is that Men-Women revert to type which is why there are mistresses or the wife has a fling with the Window Cleaner.
In many African countries, Pologamy is the more accepted form of a family unit, indeed in some parts of the U.S.A too.
There was a survey ( no I do not have it on me) but I read in a Magazine that 75% of Men have been unfaithful to thier full time partners and Women 50% of the time.
Until reality is accepted; there will be the continued dissappointment and betrayals in relationships will continue.
So Ebony; have you never "Kissed" another Man whilst you were in a realationship with your "Main" Man - even if the "relationship" was "almost" over ?  ?
Last edited on Monday September 1st, 2003 08:43 by Dada
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Stylishsista
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Posted: Monday September 1st, 2003 20:18 |
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The issue is not why do black men cheat. It is why do people cheat at all!!
As the saying goes we as humans like to have their cake and eat it...we are very greedy... we want what we cant have...we want what we shouldnt have...As humans we want to take life devour it and lick the plate clean!!
The truth is we are in control of our own lives and destinys...so why be restricted in any way shape of form...We act of the flesh... let face it we dont always think with our brain...but our bodies...until we take control of our lifes and curb our cravings...we will always cheat!!
Linda
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Khadijah
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Posted: Monday September 1st, 2003 20:47 |
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@ KUNJUFU : THE ISSUE OF CHEATING .
I'd like to address a point in which you made concerning Women Cheating and perhaps it not being mentioned statistics wise often to the masses. My thoughts on that is , Society as a whole focus on the regretable cuase of thinking rather than the actual act of it in reguards to Women , doesn't make it right , but understand this is the mindset of the society in which we live in today.
1. Women proably do cheat either as equally or just as much as there male counter parts.
2. Women's reasoning for doing so however may differ, in respects that when women cheat society views it as though there must of been some extreme issues within that relationship to prompt that women to engage in that act, almost taking on the view of her being the victim and that as her only recourse or revenge. SAD I AGREE but yet and still it's the mindset you see of our society .
3. Now When Men engage in Cheating it's almost acceptable that he's so to speak sowing his oaths (I believe that's the Westernize idealogy at times) that still in same doesn't make it right . I Believe this thought process originates from a much early psych. when Men were allowed in some cultures to have more than one wife or women . One could almost take the arguement that it's inbreaded in men from the begining (Honestly/personally ) i don't agree on that , i feel one needs to take an accurate account of their lifes and assume respondsiablilty on how that can or may affect others.
4. Women in understanding why Men Cheat you need to understand how they are designed by nature in some instances sex outside of that relationship doesn't reflect to them as cheating becuase often there's no feelings attached to the act with that other women/man . For some it's simply experimentation , venting of fustrations, etc. None which may be related to what you're doing or not doing so don't always take it personal. But we do i know !
5.Men in Attempting to comprehend why Women Cheat you as well need to try to understand our emotional make up. If the Emotions Needs or not often met , we commence to Fantizing in our minds on that relationship we may sometimes see on t.v. (which of course is unrealistic ) or start entertaining doubts in our own minds (which stem from insecurities which might not always be directed from you persay) . We are very delicate creatures by design , and we often require much nurturing contrary to what we may express. When Women conculde that they are neglected from those basic essentails they CHEAT ! Now there are a number of Women who do simply engage in cheating for nothing but the SEX, I don't want to exculde that percentage of women who may be out there. All the way around Kunjufu it's Wrong and it creates self destructiveness........
Inshallah !
KHADIJAH * 
Last edited on Monday September 1st, 2003 21:02 by Khadijah
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Khadijah
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Posted: Monday September 1st, 2003 21:37 |
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@ Dada :
I'd like to respond to your posting to Ebony if i may . I have some questions for you in reguards to some points in which you mentioned.
1. You mentioned "MEN LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH MANY WOMEN WE ARE PROGRAMMED THAT WAY". QUES: IF YOU'RE PROGRAMMED THIS WAY , TO WHOM DO YOU CONTRIBUTE THE PROGRAMMING TO SELF OR SOCIETY IAM MOST CURIOUS ?
2. YOUR STATMENT GIVES THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU DON'T HOLD ONESELF RESPONDSIABLE FOR HIS OR HER OWN ACTIONS. ALMOST LABELING IT AS MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR DOING WHAT YOUR DOING , NOT REALIZING OR CHOOSING TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ALONE HAVE THE POWER AND DETERMINATION TO CHANGE THAT THOUGHT PROCESS IE MINDSET IF YOU SO DESIRED TO.
3.WE ARE WHO WE ARE AND WE DO WHAT WE WANT TO BECUASE THOSE ARE THE CONSICIOUS CHOICES WE'VE DECIDED TO MAKE REGUARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
4.NOW BEING A MUSLIM SISTA , AND UNDERSTANDING THE IN MY RELIGION POLGAMY IS READILY EXCEPTED , IT'S EMBRACED WITH A PURPOSE AND FOR A PARTICULAR REASON AND WITH SPECIFIC GUIDELINES AS STIPULATED IN THE QURAN. THAT MAN MUST BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR ALL HIS WIVES EQUALLY AND NOT MANY CAN , AND YES THERE ARE THOSE WHO TAKE ON MORE THAN ONE WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO ADEQUATELY PROVIDE EQUALLY AND THAT IS AT THEIR FAULT . POLGAMY SHOULD NEVER BE USED AS A TOOL OR INSTRUMENT TO ENGAGE IN HAVING MORE THAN ONE WOMEN SIMPLY FOR THE BENEFITS OF PLEASURE. SO EVEN ADAPTING THAT AGRUMENT AS AN EXCUSE WOULDN'T BE EXCEPTABLE TO ME.
5.CHEATING IE ADULTRY IS SELF DESTRUCTIVE AND I MENTIONED THIS IN MY POSTING TO KUNJUFU , EITHER WAY YOU LOOK AT IT IN RESPECTS TO RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE IT'S CONDUSIVE TO ADDED TO THE PROBLEMS WHICH SOCIETY OBVIOUSLY ALREADY HAS AND HASN'T FOUND SOLUTIONS TO . ONE MUST LEARN TO SEEK CONTENTMENT WITHIN THEMSELVES OR THEY'LL NEVER BE SATISFIED OR ACHIEVE SATISFICATION INTIMATELY WITH ANYONE. THIS IS SIMPLY MY PERSPECTIVE...............
KHADIJAH *
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Kareem
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Posted: Tuesday September 2nd, 2003 23:17 |
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Ebony\Tigress:
Black men cheat for the same reason ALL OTHER men cheat...because most of us like p*ssy!
The only problem is, due to our higher rate of testosterone and our stronger sex appeal...we seem to attract more women and have a greater opportunity than most other men.
Another problem is we're living under WHITE rules and value that were made by and designed for WHITE MEN who have traditionally had a low or non-existant sex-drive.
Societies ran by Black males were traditionally polygamous and sex was celebrated and abundant.
Societies ran by white males are generally monogamus or even matriarchal and sex is condemned and repressed for the most part.
Its not about our "ego" being inflated, this is a white FEMINIST term that sistaz must be careful not to fall into the trap of believeing.
The "egos" of WHITE men may have been inflated but OUR egos have been jacked up since we've been living in the West and sex is one of the few things that lets most bruthaz know they STILL are men.
Now they wanna take THAT away from us.......
Another point that should be made is,
UNLESS THE MAN IS MARRIED IT ISN'T CHEATING!!!!
Can't have your cake and eat it too.
Can't have a man...yall don't wanna take the next step of getting married....but you wanna keep up with him all day tryna figure out who he's stroking.
It don't work like that in real life and women are only deceiving themselves to believe it.
Mafdet:
In my late teen and early 20's I have to confess I cheated twice in two different relationship.......WHY.......because I wanted too and I knew I could get away with it.
Yessss, but now that you're ---fill in da blank--- you know better and think differently, right?
But again, I still believe that as long as we try to pattern our sexual lives after WHITE society we're gonna always suffer from relationship problems.
Dada:
I agree with you home-slice. 
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Dada
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Posted: Wednesday September 3rd, 2003 00:27 |
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1. Society or individuals do not dictate whether or not I as a man or you as a woman have the requirement to eat , sleep, fart, die. We are born with these attributes.
Society seeks to control these attributes. Often times in especially in religons rules are made up for the survial of the community at a time when certain things or inventions were not availiable. Not out of informed eternal wisdom, as Mankind progresses the old control of society is continually challenged, and it's this conflict between conservative ideals that are in some cased outdated and evolutionary advances that compete to shape our ideals.
2. Society is responsible for many of Peoples actions as it trys to control people to go against what many are naturally inclined to do. In reality I am responsible to societies decourm rather than to my own actions. That is it say. That it is society that is dictating what is adultery and what is not , and the laws surrounding that ideal.
3. To a point I have to agree with you.
4. I did not classify Polgamy as simply a way of having your cake and eating it , but as an alternative to the Christain/secular values that dominate Western Societies attitudes. Indeed your example of the "Man" having to look after both or all wives is a good one. It is also one that lives alive and well in Christian/Secular societies and it's called known as the Mistress. The fundemental difference between the two i.e Pologmy and having a Mistress is the deceit of the Mistress concept as opposed to the openness of the Polgamyist.
5. Therein lays the answer to you assertion of Adultery is self destructive. No it is not. It is the deceit and break down of trust that is self destructive. This is less likely to happen if the society which one lives in condones the idea of Polgamy as opposed to just Monogamus relationships dispite the evidence surrounding them.
Now for you smal aside:
"One could almost take the arguement that it's inbreaded in men from the begining (Honestly/personally ) i don't agree on that , i feel one needs to take an accurate account of their lifes and assume respondsiablilty on how that can or may affect others."
It's not an agruement it's a fact and if unbelieved your Man is most probably playing away. One of the things that I really cannot stand when going out on the Town with other men in "long term committed relationships " is their behaviour towards Women. They are often really beyond the pale , all looking hungery for the nearest women, wedding rings slipping of the fingers etc.
And yes I certainly do not subscribe to idea that the Cheating woman, is justified as her man is just not good enough.
Now for a surprise:
I personally do not believe men or women should cheat.
Reason being is not just contentment, but also the deceit aspect is very corosive and destructive, it is a danger to ones integrity and that is what is at stake. Now the late Italian Billionaire of Fiat once said you can be a Good Husband and an unfaithful One, just as much as being a Bad Husband and a Faithful One. Or as Sir James Goldsmith once famously said " When you get Married you have created a vacancy for your Mistress".
The difference is what One's own integrity is and their Partner's.
@Kareem
Your post was on point too.
Last edited on Wednesday September 3rd, 2003 00:38 by Dada
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Mafdet
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Posted: Wednesday September 3rd, 2003 11:39 |
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@ Kareem
Don't try it ......ok (guest can always be asked to leave) late teens early 20's that wasn't so long ago you know but aaannnnnyyyywwway moving on. to quickly answer you, not as much as think differently but certainly think more thoroughly he he
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Honest_Man
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Posted: Thursday September 4th, 2003 05:40 |
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All women are STUPID.
This is a basic fact of life. accept it. The only reason a guy has a girl is so he can get p***y on the regular and someone to cook and clean his s**t for him. When opertunity presents itself dat a next gal become avalible then he takes it.
This shouldn't be news to any of you women. You know your mans cheated on you, even if you don't have no proof of it. You stay with him cos generally your girls arn't attracted to a guy you know would treat you right. The amount of times I've heard girls say "He's a nice guy....But he's just not my type".
You're all looking for action and excitement and 9 times out of 10 this comes hand in hand with a cheater. Of course there are always exceptions to the rules I have given. Not all men fall in to this catagory (hell if they did you wouldn't have the good men I speak about) and of course there are the women who do the same thing and in most cases even worse.
What it all boils down to is that women are all evil and drive men to cheat on them. It's all your fault (not that any of you would admit it), so you should stop complaining and just accept it.
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Dada
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Posted: Thursday September 4th, 2003 07:45 |
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Honest Man
I hear what you are saying - But cannot agree that All Women are stupid. The Fact is most women are very very bright. Even the "Stupid Ones".
What you say about Nice Guys rings quite true. But alas there is a method in their madness. Of which the Ladies I am sure will tell you. Then again maybe not.
The underlying "Secret" is that a Man should be the following:
- Be A Challenge - i.e Other Women should fancy him. He needs to be changed by the love of a good woman, he has potential.
- Have Confidence: This is the most important factor. Hollywood and Literiture are full of the man over coming the rebuttals of Women to then only have them swoon in their arms. Woman really like to "Test" a man confidence, if you fail to live up to their "Tests" your history. The easist way is indifference, and indifference usually comes when one has abundance. It' called the marginal utility- of Women. The More Women you have a chance of scoring with the less significance a rejection from one is. Hence "Cheaters" so well as women realise that the man who looks good and has confidence doe's not need them. T
- Have Self-Control: Women like men like to test thier boundaries. As such they will want to see how far they can "push" you. "Oh darling, I cannot come tonight to your Bosses Dinner invite , I have to have my nails done" How you respond to that determines their affection and respect to you. Women, openly or secretly want their Man to be masterful. And the quiet sensitive man does not qualitfy in this respect. Now Masterful does not mean arrgogant, although many men confuse it with such, it means purposeful. It does not mean domineering but leadership.
Disclaimer: Okay ladies and gentleman I am happy to be slammed for my little take on these oddities of life. It's not wholly complete or wholly wrong only a synopsis of my thoughts on the matter.
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Khadijah
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Posted: Thursday September 4th, 2003 15:00 |
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@ Dada :
YOU WON'T GET SLAMMED FOR YOUR THEORIES ON WHAT WOMEN DESIRE ............... I ON THE OTHER HAND FOUND YOUR TAKE ON THE WHOLE MATTER :
QUITE AMUSING AND INSIGHTFUL INDEED , YOUR POST TO HONEST MAN , PARTICULARLY YOUR REMARK ABOUT WOMEN TESTING THE BOUNDARIES THAT IS AN ACCURATE STATEMENT IN MY OPINION. IT'S ALSO EQUALLY ACCURATE WHEN YOU MENTIONED WE DESIRE A CHALLENGE EITHER IN THAT MAN OR THE RELATIONSHIP. WOW ! IT'S AS THOUGH YOU'VE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK WHEN IT COMES TO FIGURING OUT WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN A MAN AND HOW WE GO ABOUT DOING SO, SO YOU GUYS DON'T EXACTLY IGNORE OUR BEHAVIOUR AS I THOUGHT YOU DID , HMMMMM, BUT ALL AND ALL FOR THE MOST PART I CERTAINLY AGREE YOU'RE ON THE MONEY , SO TO SPEAK , MOST IMPRESSIVE ! AND WELL DEFINED AND LAYED OUT . HOWEVER, I DON'T FEEL WE DIFFER THAT MUCH FROM OUR MALE COUNTER PARTS , THE ONLY DIFFERENCE I SEE IS THAT MEN SIMPLY GO ABOUT THINGS RATHER DIFFERENT THAN WE DO AND THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE AND EXIHIBIT OUR EMOTIONS DIFFER CONSIDERABLY, IS THAT A FAIR ASSUMPTION TO MAKE . ?
KHADIJAH *
@ HONEST MAN :
IAM MOST CURIOUS WHAT TYPE OF WOMEN ARE YOU ASSIOCATING YOURSELF WITH FOR YOU TO MAKE THE ASSUMPTION OR STATE THAT ALL WOMEN ARE STUPID . ? AND IF SO WHY DO YOU WASTE YOUR TIME BEING EVEN REMOTELY INVOLVED WITH WOMEN LIKE THAT PARTICULARLY WHEN YOU FIND THEM UNDESIRABLE EXCEPT PERHAPS FOR ONE REASON . ?
Last edited on Thursday September 4th, 2003 15:24 by Khadijah
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Minx
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Posted: Friday September 5th, 2003 07:30 |
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Quick post...
Both sexes cheat and many love it! I just find it's the women (who tend to be know as the emotional ones!) who can hide it betta!
Dada 3 pointed post was good, but also can see in anotha way.....
1. Challenging!...Seeking the opposite sex (or the same in some cases) is a challenge, many can look back on how they met their partner and it can be quite a story! So just being out there amongst others knowing that look, that smile or that whine could do tings...well that's the 1st step!
2. Confidence...Lawrd! it can give ur ego a great boost if ur clicking wid someone or wid many others, coz the pond is small wid loads of fishes but it's nice to know there's at least 1 or 2 ready to jump into the frying pan!
3. Self Control...Finally after the ego been stroked back & forth and the dance was too sweet, the drink is spinning ur mind or the body just looks fine! Are u ready to heat up that pan? or just let the seasoning blend and u deep freeze ur ur prize!
We could look back in history or other groups etc. etc. but unless u live in it u can't live! The way of world means ur mainly true one partner and so it's mainly down to point 3!....
If ur word ain't bond, ur talk is cheap & u got No self control...u will cheat!
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KaramelDlite2003
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Posted: Saturday September 13th, 2003 01:11 |
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| I believe that men and women cheat because they are lacking something in their relationship. In some cases they cheat just for the hell of it. Because there are no real restrictions in their current relationship and they know they can get away with it. But you also have those instances where the person feels that the person that they are cheating with has qualities that the person they are cheating are lacking. They get drawn in by the unkown and most of the time can not help themselves. Just think, if you were used to being with someone, male or female, that never listened to you and you met someone and it seems like they hang on to your every word, you would be so flattered and amazed you wouldn't know what to do. We as a people are always curious about the unknown and I think that this curiousity is what drives us to cheat. The will power of the person is what determines whether or not it happens.
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Posted: Saturday September 13th, 2003 07:44 |
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I haven't read all the posts so in response to the title I have agree with the natural/genetic theory.
Women sit back for a second and consider what it is that makes a man rape, what it is that makes a straight man have to have sex with another man if he goes to prison, what it is in men that gives prostitution an existence?
Ok there are men out there fighting these forces with a mind over matter approach but for what that's worth as a man I couldn't look down on anotyher man for sleeping with another woman. In the majority of cases, it's the least he could do.
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cazzagoo
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Posted: Monday September 15th, 2003 01:12 |
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To believe that all black men cheat is a very negative thing to say in the first place. I feel this is just yet another stereotype and what makes it worse is that as black men and women we are fueling it. For example i know black men that are proud to have these comments said about themselves and they try to live up to it. I dont understand why a black man would want to live up to that statement beacause really its just saying that all they are good for is sex and not very strong morally, and thats not anything to brag about, is it?
On the other hand black women dont help the stereotype neither. If you believe that black men cheat then you already have your expectations of whats going to happen when you meet a black guy then don't you? Its not giving much confidence to a relationship is it? I think us black women need to have more faith in our brothers, and more confidence in ourselves. If we keep on thinking that our brothers are gonna cheat on us, then it gives the impression that we are not worthy of a man being loyal to us. I just think its such a negative way of thinking. Us black women need to have more faith in our brothers and vice versa. We need to keep the black community alive and strong. Peace
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Posted: Monday September 15th, 2003 01:33 |
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| This message is for kareem. You are a poor misguided, sad, lonely individual with no morals or self respect. I just hope you have been for your aids test and std checkups. Dont be spreading your nasty germs all over the place, putting people at risk. I bet you've hurt so many people on your journey, but you have never stuck around long enuff to realise it. If you have so much testosterone in your puny little body why dont you go and use a prostotue , thats what theya re there for.You must be a very young boy that has just discovered sex or you must have a lot of issues to deal with. Either way, what ever your problem is, i know you are not happy in your life.
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Posted: Monday September 15th, 2003 02:45 |
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 Cazagoo. Totally agree with your first posting and your conclusion that we behave as if we are our own worse enemy. It clearly shows our levels of conciousness and ability or limitations in gaining respect and tackling the type of things needed to improve our lives and position as a group. We know a lot of our people suffer from 'self hate' but to give them platforms to legitimse their madness is a bad move. These discussion headings about why black men or black women this or that are nonsense and not based on any factual basis and just does damage. From my experience black men are not any different than anybody else for why they cheat, and if anything they well cheat less than other groups.
Having worked in predominantly white work environments, done the conference circuits and foreign trips and that stuff, never mind the office parties, I would say most black people ain't got nothing on white people; especially married black people who seem to me take their vows more seriously.
Black folk drink less than white people and much of their sexual behaviour is driven by that. When you look at US programmes like Cheaters, or Mr Springer black folk aint any worse than white people.
These discussions would be more fruitful if they were positive and goal directed eg how do you sustain meaningful black relationships, which allows us to open the debate to more people and more enlightenment than these negative anti black self hate sesssions. So I am with you down the line.
In fact as someone said men cheat because they can and women also cheat and have always done so, although less than men as Kareem rightly said male needs are driven by other things. Please do not underestimate the power of the male sex drive, as Kareem has rightly indicated, because you are showing immaturity and lack of understanding of the male species.
Too many women have needs which do not complement those of their men and you can see this in long term relationships and marriage, where sex is less important to the woman, than man which is a recipe for trouble. You can love a woman to death but if she ain't doing it for you, or no longer taking care of herself, or wants to spend all her social time with friends and family, then you have problems storing up. So this is a serious issue.
There are no shortage of women to keep cheating going quite nicely, and that in itself is a serious issue about our morals, self esteem and confidence and how people value themselves and solve their problems. Today due to the 'simpleton' interpretation, we have women saying if men can be low, we women should be equal with that gutter, which actually does women more damage than men, as that is not a game women can ever win, and only reduce themselves and their value. Women control the sexual behaviour in any society because if they ain't freeing up nothing is going on.
But where I have to say hold on sister, is your second posting which seems nothing but an outright attack on Kareem. I checked his posting to see if I had missed anything of subtance. I believe the language you used and some of the things you said had no relevance to the issue in question, or appropriate for someone whose first posting would suggest someone who is seriously concerned about black progress and unity on basic principles. Kareem did not say he was slack or irresponsible or sexing black women willy nilly without regard for them or anyone's health.
As a black woman if a brother dissed you in that manner you would rightly be offended as I am reading the second post. Do I take it if I or anyone else disagreed with you you would see it fit to start abusing me personally about my hygiene and personal disposition, which you are not in a position to know and only jumping to assumptions. 
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Kareem
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Posted: Monday September 22nd, 2003 11:31 |
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Fredblack:
Too many women have needs which do not complement those of their men and you can see this in long term relationships and marriage, where sex is less important to the woman, than man which is a recipe for trouble. You can love a woman to death but if she ain't doing it for you, or no longer taking care of herself, or wants to spend all her social time with friends and family, then you have problems storing up. So this is a serious issue.
You just identified the marital problems of 80% of the married couples living in the West.
I don't know how many times I've told these tell bruthaz that WOMEN DON'T NEED SEX like we do and if we have nothing else to hold over them...the relationship won't work out.
There are no shortage of women to keep cheating going quite nicely, and that in itself is a serious issue about our morals, self esteem and confidence and how people value themselves and |
