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An_Advanced_Spark
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Posted: Friday July 16th, 2004 08:18 |
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 'I believe that a woman of any size as long as it's presented well will get looked at the same as a slim woman'
Military_man thank you for that comment great refreshing attitude!
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faery1
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Posted: Friday July 16th, 2004 08:55 |
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An_Advanced_Spark wrote:
Just a simple question
Is big beautiful to men?
I mean for example Ms Nikki Parker from the ' Parkers'
Very beautiful woman and big
What do you think?
Would you date a big woman? If so/ or not why
Have you dated a bigger woman?
Do you think the media dictates too much on what is beautiful? Is it a western attitude that is big disgusting and to be ashamed of?
YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS MUCH APPRECIATED
 love peace n hair grease.. Spark
I am not a man, but I know of at least 2 men who will not date thin women. Not only will they not date thin ones, but they want "big" women.
I learned this by accident from a friend I had a crush on. I wanted to date him, but was politely "rejected" since he prefers big women.. so yes.. there are men out there like this.
Personally I prefer thin/lean men and think average size women are normal looking.
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Lil_Princess
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Posted: Monday July 19th, 2004 03:41 |
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| @ Faery1... "average"..."normal"... what do these words mean? different ppl have different opinions of "the norm".
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Sleep No More
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Posted: Monday July 19th, 2004 04:27 |
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| Nothing wrong with the woman who is plus size.... my wife tells me..:" theres nothing in the world like a big pretty girl" and she is very beautiful and shes not small... and yes i am atrracted to her in all ways...i loved her before i touched her....it was a spiritual thing...ne ways i think over all its ok to have meat on your bones...and there are alot of plus size women who are beautiful.... latifah for one, the lady who plays andele on moesha....angie stone...... even faith before she got small.... so theres are some out there so yes big girls are attractive too!!
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brown*skin
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 08:28 |
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My girlfriends and I always have this discussion and most of them do feel that women on the larger side MUST feel uncomfortable with themselves.
I know big women who have a very good body-image and are the life and soul of the party.
But is all a front? Do they seriously wish that they were a size ten for example and not a size 22.
Are they really happy being big?
All opinions on this topic welcome.
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Legsuptoarmpits
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 09:28 |
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sorry, but I think I'm gonna offend a few "overweight" people on this topic...but here goes.....
I have always been on the slim side and over the last few years, due to various stresses in my life I have lost even more weight. I personally am comfortable with my weight...however, I feel that most of the time I always receive negative comments from women on the larger side about my weight...callin me skinny, etc, etc..some of these women have been like size 22+ and I would never have the audacity to tell them that they need to lose weight cos u neva actually know why a person has got to that point, it could be illness, pregnancy etc, however I constantly receive comments from family members, friends, work colleagues. It pissed me off so much that last year I got rid of my bathroom scales cos I thought to myself, people always seem to be watchin my weight anyway so I don't even need bathroom scales....so to answer your question...no I do not really think that big women are that comfortable with their weight cos otherwise they wouldn't take it upon themselves to be goin around callin people skinny etc, etc. Also, larger women like to watch when u are eatin and be sayin stuff like...u need to eat proper food..yet they do not really know what your food intake is like..they are just watchin you eat one meal!! Like I said....I am totally comfortable with my weight, be it skinny or not which is why I don't feel it necessary to go around callin people negative names about their weight....
So, all u overweight ladies out there...the next time u decide to go callin ur sistren skinny etc, think twice about whether they might be ill or maybe not really appreciate you dealin with your insecurities by callin them skinny to make urself feel comfortable.
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JONHNCROW234
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:12 |
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SOMETIMES LARGER PEOPLE ARE NOT SECURE IN THEIR BODY WEIGHT, SO IN ORDER TO MAKE A STATEMENT THEY PRETEND TO BE COMFORTABLE, TO DISTRACT ALL THE NEGATIVITY THAT MAY BE DIRECTED AT THEM.
SO IT IS PERHAPS REVERSE INSECURITIES DIRECTED AT SLIM PEOPLE.
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LadyDay
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:26 |
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i have never been slim in the european sense and i am grateful for it. i usually averaged a 12-14 in clothes but now with contentment i now average 14-16 but more 16. my friends nearly dropped of their chairs in shock when i joined a gym and said i wante dto be healthy. this has nothing to with how much i weigh. its just that there is some serious health conditions in my family history and i must ensure that i am healthy. plus it keeps my heart going and my doctor happy.
as for any angst against skinny folk no time for it. my husband is maarga and he wishes he had a bit more meat on him even if it just muscle build up and ting
skinny does not mean nor equal healthyness, i have frind who starved herself slime and only eats say 600 calories a day she was never overweight just bought into european ideals on body image. not me skippy i like my round bottom big boobs and curves. my husband loves it too. oh yeah most west indian men dont care for shape or size . take for instance mad anju and his song about big women. elephant always dances with a big gal so. i love me.
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JONHNCROW234
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:34 |
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| LADYDAY IT SEEMS LIKE YOU GOT AN AVERAGE NORMAL SIZE.
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BlackBeauty
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:38 |
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Totally understand where u are coming from and I agree about some big women taking their insecurities out on ppl who r slimmer than they r
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faery1
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:47 |
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@ladyday
Dont let them discourage you from the gym.. you might inspire someone..
@Legsuptoarmpits
I have some similar experience.. I have been "big" in my life, but what looks big on me ("size 12-13") looks normal on others. I am not short, but weight just doesnt distribute the same on all people.
Now I am what I consider a "normal" size, but people are shocked to find out how small it is if you use the actual store sizes. I think people should measure themselves visually and not really with the store sizes because they dont work for everyone.
I prefer to be lean/athletic, and I am proud to be so, but people dont like to hear about other people who have the motivation to make themselves into what they want to be. There are a lot of big people who dont feel comfortable with themselves, but that doesnt discount the others that do..
I dont feel I have bought into a Euro-ideal, but I love working out and eating healthy. I begain going to the gym to ease my mind, sleep better, feel better.. and the tone/looks were the side effects.
@ alll
Is weight a big deal in UK like it is in US?
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LadyDay
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:48 |
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JONHNCROW234 wrote: LADYDAY IT SEEMS LIKE YOU GOT AN AVERAGE NORMAL SIZE.
finding 16s that fit makes it feel un average
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BlackBeauty
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:49 |
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| @faery yer, if ur anorexic with big boobs then u r considered curvy LOL
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JONHNCROW234
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:50 |
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| @LADYDAY I HEAR YOU ON THAT ONE LOL. MY SISTER USE TO SAY THE SAME.
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JONHNCROW234
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 10:52 |
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| MOST BLACK MEN LIKE WOMEN WITH A LIL MEAT, AND MOST WHITE MEN LIKE EM SKINNY.
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LadyDay
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 11:02 |
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| @faery1 no one can put me of the gym as i do like to go there and chill out ion teh sauna after nice work out. my gym membership is for health benefits not weight loss per se
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Dayna
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 11:13 |
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@ Legsuptoarmpits, I can totally relate to you. Except for the times I was put on medication and my awkward growth stages, I've never really been big. No I don't think big women are comfortable with themselves. If they were they wouldn't feel the need to make fun of smaller women. I've also recieved rude comments from big women, and I am so sick of people watching my weight. Whenever I say that I'm not hungry, I am accused of starving myself or "trying to be like a white girl". I mean you can't be hungry all the time.
I try to live a healthy life. I exercise for at least an hour almost every day and I try not to eat too much junk food. What many people don't seem to understand is that since I'm only about 5"1 and a half inch, my body frame doesn't carry a lot of weight well. If I were a size 10 I'd look chubby and I'd be obese at a size 16.
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brown*skin
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Posted: Tuesday July 20th, 2004 11:33 |
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But surely they have to be big women out there that are comfortable with their size that do not demean people that are smaller than they are.
I used to be 15st stones and lost five stones. Now a size ten I get loads of people opinions or comments form bigger people about my weight. Even my mother joins in. I think it is so important to love and accept your self so when these negative comments come your way you deal with them accordingly.
I never get grief from my slim friends about my weight. Maybe it is a jealously or insecurity on their part.
I recently had an 18 stone ''so-called'' friend say to me I have big legs like my mother. I just laughed, poor girl.
But I am sure thier a big confident happy women out there. Is there? Do you know any?
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LadyDay
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Posted: Wednesday July 21st, 2004 08:54 |
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skinny, slim, stick insect etc etc women are more likley to make fun of big women. and so to are the genaral public. i feel no sympathy for ya, GET OVER IT.
me personally my caribbean background does not allow for me to get caught up in peoples images. slim does not equal good health or good anything.
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LadyDay
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Posted: Wednesday July 21st, 2004 09:06 |
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| I forgot to add i understand what some of you say. slim tings always telling me i need to slim down but people who are not slim or considered big as this thread stipulates dont seem to have a problem with my size. slim people can be so cruel but its just dirt off my shoulder
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Lyds_2004
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Posted: Wednesday July 21st, 2004 12:16 |
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Well, I am personally not a big woman. I am a size 8/10 but I'm not skinny, I got a fat arse, curvy etc.. but whether bigger women are really comfortable about ther size??? ARe ANY women really comfortable with their size. Its a human thing the grass is always greener on the other side. Not just with size. Sometimes you see tall people who wanna be short and you see a shorter person and they wanna be tall. Society makes it so people can neva be trUly secure but you can be secure enough to be happy.
ANY WAY I just feel the question really is ARE WOMEN IN GENERAL REALLY COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR SIZE?
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Just_ME
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Posted: Wednesday July 21st, 2004 15:25 |
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well at the moment i am a size 18 uk size so i would say that i am big but not in the sense i am really overly large becouse most of the time people would assume that i am a size 14- 16. well am i confortable in my size on a good day i would say yes and on a bad day i would say no.
Dont get me wrong i am not unhealthy i am at the gym for 2 hours at least 3 times a weeks and five times if i can make the time, i can run jump and play sport better than many size 10 -12 and for my size i am extreamly fit, so my size does not restrict me in any way that can prevent me in anyway.
At the moment i am wroking toward lossing some weight as i just want to see how i would look as a size 12-14, i am propotioned in my weight so that i hava figure i am not a dinner plate shape, but would just love to make ma shape a bit smaller and tonned.
As for taking out insecurities about being larger on smaller people i do not do this, i dont go around calling people stick insects and whatever becouse i am envious of them as it doesnt get you anywere. An i would not like being sinlged out as fat so why do the reverse.
I feel that many larger women are insecure within their own skin not becouse they have a problem with themselves but with how they are programmed to believe that others will have a problem with them. for example out of my close firends one is a size 6-8 ( she is chinease so her frame is built very small) one is a size 8-10 and the other is a size 10-12, i will never go clothes shopping with them and to my knowledge they are not aware of what clothes size i am as i will not tell them. Now dont get mewrong its not that they will be mean and unacpet me its just a insecurity that i have.
on a bad day i will feel insecure within my size not becouse i hate my body and there is something wrong with it, but mearly becouse of how i feel i am recieved. For exmaple out of all of my friends i am the only one that attends the gym and if i am on my way to the gym and i run into someone from collge or whatever and they ask me were i am goin and i reply the gym i always get the oh ( raised eyebrow) i wouldnt have though you go the gym or (suprised) you go the gym respone
just lil things like this will lower a sistas self esteem to da floor and make a large women feel uncomfortable in all types of ways and i feel that not in all cases but in a lot a larger women will feel uneasy in her size not becosue she feels like it is restricting her but how larger women are precieved by general day to dap pulic and the media and society in gneral
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Lucia
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Posted: Sunday July 25th, 2004 20:20 |
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debated a while about whether to post.........................but here goes......................... I am a woman of "nikki parkers" stature (altho i dont think she is that pretty at all). I am a very attractive woman (if i say so myself) and have no problem with men. I was quite shocked to read the responses in here but also newly educated, (thanks everyone), i must admit i expected to see more pro big gal people but never mind. i just wanted to let all of you know that we do existed. "WE" meaning very attractive and sexy large women/girls.
P.s. I dress in a manor in which I always look classy, yet gets me the male attention i deserve.
Thanks 4 listening 
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Sleep No More
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Posted: Sunday July 25th, 2004 22:27 |
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| and its ok to be a big or plus size lady and dress classy-thats the best rather than dress hoochie ish and have your blessings all out i think any classy lady big or small is the best, but its the mental state that matches your physical beauty that makes it all the more better....there are plenty of big girlsthat look far better than some skinny women, ive met homies that will agree, most of them have big ladys in there lives and say they treat them the best i dont know if thats true but they seem to press that issue alot, i would say from experience and this applies to me, yes...ive dated alot in my past before i settled down, and the smaller women they were high minded and flirted with others and did alot of crazy things but now im settled with a woman shes not huge or anything but shes a big girl and i love her and she treats me better thatn anyother smaller girl ive dated, and other big girls ive dated have treated me better too, i dont know why this is maybe its just me, but i hear it alot from my friends the dont mind dating bigger girls, i have a couple that says they are sickening to them but , i dont see anything wrong with them,
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Peacemaker
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Posted: Sunday July 25th, 2004 23:17 |
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Are big women seen as attractive?
No.
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Posted: Monday July 26th, 2004 00:26 |
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