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Kareem
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Posted: Saturday September 27th, 2003 23:37 |
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Fredblack:
My point is, instead of drilling and begging ONE woman to love you and be attracted to you by acting a certain way.
From a practical stand-point, wouldn't it be wiser to improve yourself, image, and character IN GENERAL to a point where MANY women would find you attractive?
 ....Wouldn't this give you more love and respect than just trying to comfort and please ONE?
As many bruthaz as you and I both know who have only ONE woman and SHE'S of low quality and f*cked up, I don't think it's wise to put all your eggs in one basket.
O'Reiley and Hannity part of the Boston Irish mafia?.
Ha haaa.....I wouldn't put it pass them seeing as how so many Italians are moving from the Mafia to the CIA and FBI and the Jews are moving back to Israel, the Irish see their perfect opportunity.
Speaking of gangstaz....
Have you noticed how the sistaz aren't condemning eachother for interracial dating like so many bruthaz do?
Infact, the only BRUTHA that I know condemning it when sistaz do it is HESAID....and I think he's on the verge of giving up!
Spice Bun:
One other thing about being cold in bed, sorry but with my boyfriend, I sizzle in between the sheets
If the sheets are STILL on while you're with him....THE MAN AIN'T HITTIN' IT RIGHT!!!!
Roger from What's Happening said--
 ...Ahaahaaaaaa!!!
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Spice
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Posted: Sunday September 28th, 2003 02:06 |
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 Kareem, no I don't think that you are getting more love and respect by spreading yourself like some cheap carpet over different women.
A decent woman would love and respect herself and would expect her man to love and respect her, himself and there relationship enough to remain faithful.
That player attitude among some black guys really bothers me. I mean even if you can as you call it, get the ladies, are you getting a good woman who love you or you simply scoring with some ho who spreads it for any man. Don't get me started on the diseases you can catch.
My man doesn't need the sheets off or a map to find it because he hits it just right every time!
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Fredblack
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Posted: Sunday September 28th, 2003 06:55 |
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 Kareem saidFredblack:
My point is, instead of drilling and begging ONE woman to love you and be attracted to you by acting a certain way.
From a practical stand-point, wouldn't it be wiser to improve yourself, image, and character IN GENERAL to a point where MANY women would find you attractive?
....Wouldn't this give you more love and respect than just trying to comfort and please ONE?
As many bruthaz as you and I both know who have only ONE woman and SHE'S of low quality and f*cked up, I don't think it's wise to put all your eggs in one basket.
Kareem the two things don't follow. You are just verbalising my own philosophy about being on your job 24 seven, as a man. I have never been a womaniser or someone really interested in women generally, like some, but at every point of life have had a muliple options of women and always had a good quaity woman. She drops short or not meet expectations, only one decision how and when to end, never if. I hate to see a woman taking a man for fool. A man who allows a woman to have him like an arse is respected by knowone.
But I only ever dealt with one woman at a time. Date several before deciding. But what burns them is they know I am not into women as such,[execeptional sisters a just that] but into my areas of interest eg professioanl, studies, training and black stuff etc, but women are into me. So my women will be the one's saying, oh I noticed you got a girl friend in so and so. Didn't you notice? .
It really gets under their skin when you say what was I only desriable when I met you. Because every woman wants to believe she is some how unique, so the fact you may have had a trailer load of cream women from day one means, which they know without you saying a word means nothing to them. So knowing other women fancy their man, is far more important to women than vice versa. I am not jealous and if you embarrasss me you will regret it. So they stew. Man got to have clear strategy in managing female nature and same time limit room for certain strokes.
I dont take public anything from women, and that ties their hands. One scene and that is that. I drop this hot bueatiful and I thought very intelligent sister, after she and some friends[bad company] started making a scene at at theatre, after our third date. She obviously had a anger management problem, or dealing with men with less stringent standards about public conduct of their women. I am a great defender of the male double standard in that regards. I don't care how upset my girl gets, chill your sh*t and keep it chilled.
Women don't like opposition or anything sniffing, no matter how confident they claim to be or should be, or that they say for their friends, or for public consumption let me tell you. If they are younger women worse still. Women are funny like that no matter ,when nobody can challenge their position they are never as confident as men. There is always a little something there. Especially around other women, it may bit so minute that only advance technical instruments can pick it up. So if asked don't you like so and so the answer is no. Makes them happy, even if that is the most bueatiful or intelligent woman on the planet you are being asked to comment on.
Second point, those guys who take second rate treatment, are just saps, and a fool is a fool at any point of time. A fool cannot expect the reward of someone of a different disposition, wrong...? Those cats don't have any power, strategy or game. Women always test your boundaries and you can be the best man in the world. They are a bit like kids. Tell them something even, to save their own lives and they will go against it. My experience is this, the more a man is prepared to drop or get rid of women, any woman, the more he will get or access to, and that is how I live. WORD and it works for me.
The more bueatiful, or highly sought after a woman is the quicker I am to put the mark down. Works everytime. Later on and she proves her worth she can try to push boudaries, but never break them. NO woman worth a cent respects a weak man. A woman may think she and she alone can tame a man, but the day she does that man is finished. They may complain,whine diss you behind your back, but they hold weak men in contempt no matter how they can wrap them around their fingers.
Men are always unless fools in the dominant positions in much of any relationship, while women control other aspects. If you get rid of a woman on an infringement, she will usually want to prove herself and on terms acceptable to you if you are prepared to entertain it which usually I am not. Cos you ain't deaf or dumb not understand the first time, and I am a very very reasonable person to have explain things to you and why this must go like this and prepared to listen to superior reasoning. In sum playing with more than one woman weakens your power and moral authority and gives women a reason to play the arse which no wise man does. Give them every reason to be their best and if they play up well......
Two illustrations come to mind, where men don't know how to use nature to their own ends. I know two women who need men to tame them for real, and have men who are nice guys but weak on fundamentals. Both these guys are older than me [about 8 years or so] and have women who have serious self esteem problems. By the way these women have no respect for these men, and will diss them any place and in front of anyone, not in their faces mind you. Nothing is going on [women love to talk] and it is a bad situation of women getting pregnant first and then living together, so women actually dictate the process from the off and its a mess cos there is no genuine love there. But all their friends will tell you, the women are the major problems.
I went to a dance a couple of years ago, and me and one of the brothers were having a nice time talking and stuff,moving to the beat and just cool. When they put on the calpsyso or whatever some sister came up to the brother and started to dance with him to his surprise and I left them to it.
Another record came on, and my girl danced with him again and half way through it his crazy woman came from nowhere and confronted the sister. It was ugly and embbarrassing and as god is my witness the brother was not doing anything and has never and not that type of guy. We were actually makin joke how out of touch he was.Serious hard working brothers, don't have time to be up on music.
Just the thought some woman having an interest, in just dancing at this stage was enough to set her off. These are grown men and all his older married brothers were there with their wives. It was a revival night and the vibe was really nice.
Last week the wife went to a barbeque, or something and I stayed home because I can predict sh*t is going to break out. Same story, but her older sister went over and pushed some sister embarrasing the man who had no idea what the hell was going on. Not knowing he knew the sister from school, long time before her and were good old friends. These are not little kids and show you female nature has not changed from day one.
No matter how loud these women are, they all fear female competition and losing control, and they have decent men, serious women would take note of. These brothers are not on their game to know they could get the woman they wanted or seriously control the negative excessives of these women, by using nature and natural competion. Because if one woman ain't going to treat you how you want, trust me there are two who will or are prepared to give it a damn good go. Simple tings.
These men have made these women feel too comfortable in their madness, still spending their money and everything they have on them, for minimal return. The more the boundary is violated, more other bounaries are violated. Well a fool gets his reward.
Thirldy, women are generally weaker, especially in this era and culture,in defending their own moral boundaries and keeping their own in check on any serious issue. That is why[ present audience excused] , I don't take the average woman as being serious.
They will attack men for everything, when their friends are the ones doing the same sh*t affecting someonelse[e.g two timing or creeping]. So when it comes to moral consistency and serious stuff, I ain't got time and usually think about football and how my team are doing or something important like that.
Listen, don't want to get between you and your female neighbour from Mitchigan, because knowing you you started it, but I can't resist it as we are speaking from experience. Reading the sister's post. Have you ever met a black woman on this planet who did not insist they were everything their men wants in a woman, which is no small claim. Then they get their friends and sisters to back them. Its a bit like listening to women talk about their friends: how bueatiful they are, attractive and how any man would be mad to not want them, blah blah blah. I say bring the man on, let me ask him man to man, or bring that woman come and let me or men check her out, cos I ain't no kid or fool. It just made me laugh when I saw the comments that's all.
I know when I have heard other women[like my mother and aunts] of all ages talk about my past woman. Strange thing if anybody asked me as an honest and balanced man[nevermind about sex, not that I would divulge that kind of information to anyone] you would get a more qualified and accurate picture. But that is women. So I had to throw that in, when I saw the typical black female adoration of herself, which is cool [because some women deserve adoration straight up] but more valid if it is coming from her man without a shot gun to his head.
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Kareem
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Posted: Monday September 29th, 2003 11:13 |
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Spicey:
A decent woman would love and respect herself and would expect her man to love and respect her, himself and there relationship enough to remain faithful.
This is true but how many "decent" women are out there for every man? 
I don't believe in any "relationship" outside of marriage.
If 2 people love eachother enough to swear off all other lovers or live together then I think they should be sworn in and married instead of playing little love-games.
I ain't no playa, I'm a MUSLIM!
But I believe that if you're married...you're MARRIED and if you're single..you're...
 FREEE!!!!!
Most people in this society have a problem differentiating the 2 because yall talk about us "cheating" as if we took some kind of oath..or something.
My man doesn't need the sheets off or a map to find it because he hits it just right every time!
 down.gif" ALT="blkbowdown">Kareem
 Thanx for the compliment love!
Fredblack:
A man who allows a woman to have him like an arse is respected by knowone.
I agree, and this is USUALLY done by women who figure that they are the ONLY game in town and the brutha has no where else to go but her.
Women don't like opposition or anything sniffing, no matter how confident they claim to be or should be, or that they say for their friends, or for public consumption let me tell you. If they are younger women worse still.
Exactly, that's why I told Shinobi what I told him about older women and the competition thang.
It appears that many younger sistaz are extremely ambitious to the point of loving power and control over sex.
..This ambition and drive doesn't seem to diminish until they hit about 35 or so.
In sum playing with more than one woman weakens your power and moral authority and gives women a reason to play the arse which no wise man does.
But is the problem that a man frequenting more than one woman weakens his moral authority and power by NATURE or is it in THIS SOCIETY in particular that you find this?
 Certainly in a society that tells us that a man can only have one woman at a time...and he sneaks and gets another...because of his DECEPTION and lying behavior he lost his moral authority.
But in ANCIENT societies where white men didn't have access to brainwash our women and they respected and accepted our strong healthy sexual appetites and even ADMIRED IT...could the same be said?
If I'm president of a society that allows a man to have several women or a woman to have several men...then I doubt if me taking on several lovers would get me nothing but pats on the back from other men as well as lustful desire from curious women!
Thirldy, women are generally weaker, especially in this era and culture,in defending their own moral boundaries and keeping their own in check on any serious issue. That is why[ present audience excused] , I don't take the average woman as being serious.
They will attack men for everything, when their friends are the ones doing the same sh*t affecting someonelse[e.g two timing or creeping]. So when it comes to moral consistency and serious stuff, I ain't got time and usually think about football and how my team are doing or something important like that.
Ha haaaa.......
Gimme 5!
On the black-hand side!
Well my man, that's what we like about them.
It's what makes them so attractive.
I don't know about you, because you're a serious brutha, but I LOOOOVE to tease and play around with my sistaz because I love them and how silly they can be sometimes.
I don't play "attraction" games anymore but I still love to bring out their emotional side because it lets me know I'm still dealing with God's greatest gift.
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locsgirl
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Posted: Monday September 29th, 2003 18:31 |
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Fredblack
It always makes me smile when I read your posts.I smile because I agree with a lot of your opinions and I smile because I imagine the effect your words have on those who Dont! My late husband held much same opinions as you do. He believed that secretly all women yearned to be dominated by a man.Not in a heavy handed way, but she needed to respect him and know who the Boss was. When I met him I was still playing little games I had always got away with in the past with lesser men, and no I Never respected them. The first year of our marraige was Tough on me, but I grew up and he was patient but Firm. We had lots of friends and he would point out to me how some of my girlfriends behaviour would be Totally unacceptable to him, and I realised how right he was. Those women did make fools of their men, and then they would move on and find another fool to play with. It was interesting how many of them found my husband So attractive, even though he never gave them the time of day.I Never acted out and showed I was jealous because I got a lot of pride and would Never let a Sista think she could rock my boat. He was a very strong man, mentally and physically and he made me feel very safe because of this.It was good not being in control or trying to be. I learned that by trusting him and letting him deal with the Big Stuff he made my life a lot easier. Much easier than it is now!
You said women are like kids, but I feel many People are like kids in the way they go on.I am not a jealous person but So many people like to challenge that and try to push your buttons.I;m the sort of woman who does encourage the man to go out, see his friends etc, but then you get accused of not caring enough about them.Or they play games with your girlfriends to try to incite some kind of reaction because basically they;re insecure. I;m like you in that sense, soon as I perceive that games are being played...they can Go...for good!
My husband taught me many valuable lessons, and I Thank God I was allowed to know him. I know now what it is I need from someone and if I never find it again then I;ll be ok because I will not compromise to settle for less.I feel sorry for some guys who really dont understand how to deal with women these days.Keep on giving them your guidance cos they sure need it. A bully will never get respect from a woman but a man who is strong like a rock will have her eternal love and support.
Peace and Blessings to you.
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Fredblack
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Posted: Tuesday September 30th, 2003 05:07 |
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 Locsgirl said:
‘Fred black
it always makes me smile when I read your posts. I smile because I agree with a lot of your opinions and I smile because I imagine the effect your words have on those who don’t! My late husband held much same opinions as you do’.
My dear sister, let me embarrass you by saying had I not been taken [especially given your expertise in the sacred and ancient art of butt maintenance], I would be making serious, what’s the word-'REPRESENTATION', in your direction]; even though it would seem that I would have to fight off tough competition from my man Hesaid. But competition is part of the essential law of nature and life and we are very honourable brothers to know you can’t win them all (smile).
But seriously my sister, unlike most sisters you actually GET IT and regrettably too many sisters ‘DON’T GET IT’ and because you’re consciousness has come from experience, which you have internalised, it is unshakable and part of how you intuitively understand the world. That girlfriend puts you in the elite pile, cos it is this lack of basic understanding both from sisters and brothers which is hurting us badly; and making sister in my eyes too high maintenance[in the wrong way].
Give me a sister who understands how things are supposed to go and put us on a desert island and we will start again from scratch to teach people how stuff is supposed to go. Get my drift. All folks who want to take on white or contemporary black British culture and these exotic ideas, go to another island and leave me and my girl and people like us on another and see what happens by 3 years.
Sis, no matter where we draw, or come to our wisdom the most crucial thing is to develop it. I have spent a long time dedicated to mastering particular areas of knowledge and the more I can see clearly the universal god given rules which shapes how every or most species develop, and the rules which shape their organisation, evolution or decline. This knowledge simply reinforces the wisdom taught to me by those successful and respected by their peers and community, who actually knew more about establishing good relationships, and moving forward.
Despite individual circumstances where as fate may have it our parents, for one reason or the other, had their problems, that does not override the majority of peoples and cultures and civilisations where we can see the clear rules and laws and principles which shape positive male/female relations. The ‘new man’ is a white theory because the old man (best of not worse) was doing quite fine thank you. I don’t come from cavemen but highly civilised men, who know how to treat their women and make them bloom, blush and stuff. That comes with a cost, but so does having a quality woman, they don’t come cheap or easy.
Today because of dominant white education, the lack of understanding of things like equality which is a theory (and about 20 different notions and types) not an empirical basis of how society and civilisation actually works, and madness pushed by the media; and the failure of families to properly educate their children how actually to go about being successful in this key area of male/female relations.
We have blind, trying to lead the blind based on nothing but talk. In fact, why would a woman want this definition of equality, when she can actually get much more which encompasses the best aspect of equality in appropriate things. I have never met a woman who wants equality in all things. They want equallity, and more in the nice things of life. Not in going out late in the night if the car breaks down, or under it in the rain, or to the shops, emptying the dustbins or physical , dangerous, dirty or ugly stuff; or in money matters if they know you have it. Hey, hair dresser and stuff ain't cheap and women have no shortages of ways to spend their own money trust me, never mind yours.
There are basic rules to male and female relations and expectations, which has never changed from day one. If you have immature assumptions and confused priorities about basics then confusion is the only outcome.
Without strong male leadership, we would never develop society and civilisation, and it is no coincidence when you remove this factor from the equation the whole group declines, like now, so I have nobody to convince about anything. Nobody has to convince white people and the experts and acamdemics who know about social power and socal organisation and dislocation.Weak men run jack and cannot even maintain the respect of their children no matter how much their kids may love them. Love is not respect.
The whole world needs strong and decisive men, and the only people who fear it are[excuse me] idiots without proper education, to really warrant serious consideration, because like all slow students they will be forced to get with the programme, or miss the boat. Women more than anyone need strong men, because that is the only condition for them to actually meet most of their needs, but a strong man is not someone who can be turned and twisted like a kid. Neither is a self confident woman for that matter, as yourself.. The basis of male strength is their consciousness, knowledge and behaviour which commands respect in the world and therefore with an intelligent and mature woman. Even Machievli taught European leaders force may take terriotory but never hold it.
Authority is not dominance, it is something which has legitimate power based on reason/truth/fact/observation etc etc to the person you are trying to influence and even if they don’t get it sometime to give you the benefit of the doubt, as men do with their women. Most women who come from stable families have no problem with male authority and expect it. My wife left her father's home, someone she loves like anything and admires, to similar but younger generation version. Others don't, but know what they want and why.
Every woman I have been with actually makes most of the decisions, as my mother and sister and wife do. Men simply provide the power and framework for stuff to happen, or not to happen. Almost every woman who I know, especially those in my large family where the woman seeks to overtly dominate the man is unhappy in her relationship, because a woman cannot be a man and woman or chop and change when it suits. These are the women who looked stressed or passive/aggressive around the dinner table and it screams loudly. They are the one’s who want to start discussions dissing men, while their sisters/family and friends stare at them like aliens. These are the immature girls who believe if they earn a couple of pounds more than their husband lauding it over them for all and assundry, only to find out it backfires in their faces big time. Manhood is more than money or economics, as crucial as that is. No wise woman undermines her man, if he has half a pound of proper male respect in him. Then when they want or need the man[because life is a b**ch like that as god did not make a world to be run and expeirenced by woman alone] only to find out he will teach them what for, in his own way. A dog is a dog; it cannot be a cat when you want it or a pig. You can only deal with the various aspects of a man’s character without trying to change his fundamental nature.
You are absolutely correct about your husband. Obvioulsly good school. Wherever I go I am always involved in aggro with contemporary women, who are horrified that an educated man like me could talk such heresy. If I am in an ignorant mood, I will respond it is because I am more educated than all of you why we have this confusion, or I don't get my life lessons from the tabloids or Cosmo magazine. These are the women who try to convince almost every woman I have had, that they must be living in modern day slavery, or something similar.
They would not have any man telling them this or that, which is why they haven’t got any man, and unlikely to get anyone who commands respect amongst men. Women saying how great their men is one thing. But whether they command respect amonsgt their peers is the ultimate distinction and qualification. But hear the joke, these are the same women who are pushing themselves in your face not discretely, or citing your name, when running down other men. Women are strange like that.
The same anti-Christ, is the same person getting them very hot and bothered, if you take my meaning (buttocks exercises not withstanding]. Your husband has the experience and knows the score. No man is surprised about that. Because that goes right down to the BASIC GOD GIVEN NATURE OF THE FEMININE SEX, and it is is a beautiful thing, if understood because women are beautiful, as men are when operating in their nature, even if it takes uncomfortable forms. I am a man who is a challenge who needs to be conquered or brought under feminine influence.
If we raise our sons and daughters, because strong men without strong and wise women who recognise those qualities is a waste of time, then things run right. God made us to complement each other, because without that ying /yang dynamic well, everything breaks down. To understand how to be powerful, influential and the rest, and having well integrated personalities; because being strong, honest, wise is only one dimension, as well as being funny, quirky, ‘damn rude and out of order’ and the other things which make people attract and interested in each other.
My father was the master romantic and would sing and could sing very well, and an accomplished Spanish guitar player and would perform for my mother and he was serious about his romancing. When my dad says these young boys don't know how to sweet a woman, these are men who take this stuff very very serious. He is a big softie with everyone, but has authority like pure steel. When men have true power, they are free to be themselves and not slaves to cheap and 'take-away' forms of power. There is a wonderful saying in my country amongst old people, which sounds better in the indigenous language. My granny loved to quote this when bigging up her men. There are three types of men,’ men’s trousers, quarter men and full proper men’.
Each type of manhood was defined by the difficulties, or ease, or means by which it was attained. Equally, there was a female equivalent that complement this. Top women can and naturally have the highest expectations of how they are treated etc, because such is their self-esteem or perceptions. I mean this can go too far. I have a younger sister who would just start screaming, or just faint if approached by the wrong brother. She almost created a riot in Martinique when a white man approached her. Pure insult and to a married woman on top of it.
We are producing men’s shoelaces, in too many cases. Brothers are not being taught how to get the goods. For example my father loathed violence and any form of hooliganism or rough neckism, because men of the highest quality rarely needed to raise their hands on anyone. I disagreed with my dad because he comes from high status family in his home village not urban Britain, where he never needed to fight; and if you dare put your hand on him, because he is a good and fair man and upright, other people will fix your arse. Somebody lied on my dad once, and tired to involve his name in some financial scam, which nobody believed and truth came out. The man who mentioned his name was founded almost machete to pieces.
So by living good, a brother can have more power than any thug. Thugs have no power and are pathetic. Go to court and see them when being sentenced hair uncombed looking raggy like fools. By having impeccable character, a brother can stand out and gain maximum respect or opportunities, which prevents him from doing sh*t. A man be penniless, and earn and have access to money. I had an uncle who was the man who held money for people in our village for decades until he died.
Everybody has heard how money begun to corrupt the Caribbean and Africa, and how family begun to steal from family or from friends, money sent home to save, invest, or build homes etc. I was proud to meet people who would tell me, your uncle is a 'difficult b**tard', when he is ready; but not one person has ever, or would ever, question his integrity or honesty.
When my uncle was sick for a long time, and I visited often, we would be sitting on the veranda and you see streams of men coming to see him with envelopes of money. It was like the great scene in ‘Godfather part one at the wedding scene. People coming with envelopes, paying their respects and envelopes piling up on the side. When it was looking bad, he would ask me to count it and give it to his wife. I did not realise people were bringing him money as a personal gift due to the the service, he had given them over decades. No welfare state, just living good as men of character and quality.
If a man wanted a house built my uncle would make sure everything runs right saving people serious money. Because he was a no messing man people did not cross him in business and money matters or those he represented. Everybody wanted favours from him, or his ear, which gave him serious clout.
It was touching and also an important lesson. Why steal and skank your own people. Serve them and they will serve you. A man does not have to be winning popularity contests, to be highly regarded. My uncle did not suffer fools gladly and you either loved him or hated him, but he commanded respect amongst people.
So it is not all about the bling or money, or short term immediate return. It is about more important stuff than that, and goes back to human character. A man’s word as I know it carrys the weight of law. When I say something I don’t expect to have to repeat it, about money or love or dealing with an enemy. Sister I had a friend give me 100,000 pounds [legitimate money] completely unexpectedly, and in fact he wanted to give me more, but I would not have it.
You wouldn’t believe that we became posse, after he came to our area [bad boy stylee] and without doing the math, and came with sh*t with me over an argument over football teams, and threw a bottle that cut me. I thought the dude was crazy, so did everybody else, because black men don't fight over white football teams. But he moved with white boys who are violent for kicks. This is the only black man we knew who went to football matches with white boys to go and fight people. Crazy.
The following day, homeboy came back to my class saying he heard I was looking for him, prepared for war and to take the initiative, which made everyone think this dude is on crack, or PCP. Thirty seconds later he was unconscious and on his way to London Hospital to have his jaw and teeth reset. When he was released he came straight to me, I thought this guy is crazy or the ORIGINAL HARD HEADED NEGRO WRIT LARGE, and in front of everyone shook my hand.
I thought homeboy was trying to pull a move, because we had never met a brother like that. But he said he had been fighting too long no to know the score. His honesty left us absolutely silent and not knowing what to do or say, except this brother is well different.
He started to move with our crew, and gradually left his thug life behind and became one of the most liked, respected and feared brothers, but also a person with good heart to those loyal to him. When I joined a positive black organisation, he was one of the first brothers who came with me, followed by most of our crew.
A couple years later the same brother was working in the organisations accounts and finance section, and from there he went mega, because the exposure and opportunity and good leadership to find his niche. He was always good with money eg how to make it and look after it. 15 years later homeboy became one of the youngest black multi-millionaires in this country and was in the Financial Times. He has financial interests everywhere and is in Japan presently. He, not I, will tell anybody who wants to know, it is pure fate that he met up with me and the boys, because where he was heading fast; and to be taken to taken in a new direction where he found his true calling.
At several points he was in life threatening situations and me and my boys either stepped in to tell the dogs to back off or else, or in the case of police who almost left him with brain damage, knew I had the organisational know-how, experience and troops to return to the pleasure, regardless of all the 'fire talk' and posturing on the block from others, we delivered. Because true brothers look out for each other, discipline each other, and tell each other about their arse when ready. All groups have their rules and expectations and the things they respect or reject.
Homeboy had never been with a sister, until I told him what is he doing not chasing quality girls; and I would show him how to do it. His first girl [a nice sister was the cousin of the girl I was gong out with]. We saw them looking shy and stuff, putting all that sexual chemicals in the air, and I told him to watch me and follow and he went from there. Now he has an exceptional black princess who lives and is treated a way a princess should in her numerous palaces etc. The right decions creates the right options. So just one brother who gets the opportunity can open and will open the door for many.
So what I am saying, because we do not teach our men how to choose friends, and give them the moral foundation they do not discriminate, or don’t have the confidence to choose the right company, or stand up to those young men who rule the roost, and are bad and negative influence. If you have character first, it gives you couage. And if you have courage and intelligence it gives you options and wepons. Not vice versa.
One day I took on the big boy in the whole crew of our age and the older age group [same one who beat his girl in the dance-ala other posting]. The big boys were talking about ‘basement digging’ [oral sex], which I knew nothing about, and came around the corner and nuff brothers were there, the majority older. My man said I looked like the kind of brother who digs basements, and everybody was cracking up. When somebody told me what he meant, I turned around and told him, even though I had never engaged in oral sex, but given the type of women I go out with and that is what my girl wanted hey why not, because I am confident where she had been and her hygeine, but then he does not have the kind of girls I have. Locsgirl, absolute silence.
Then the usual foolish response, are you talking to me? and I replied what you deaf as well as dumb. By this time the whole crew were holding their breathe not too laugh because that N****r will get physical with the lesser brothers who are the majority,uncertain and unsure. He feared me before that day, and it got worse thereafter.
If a man is taught to choose good women and to value what that means, nobody not even the whole US military establishment is going to impune her virtue or reputation to feel I am going to leave it like that. I had a beautiful woman really very intelligent, sharp, educationally gifted, mature and very fashionable in dress from a good Bajan family. Only one of my boys met her, because I would not expose her to the whole crew, where some boys ain’t got breeding and I would have to beat it into them. Even though this loud mouth joker had never met my girl, just the thought of him mentioning any woman of mine in that manner was enough.
So because of lack of character weak, and unsure young men take sh*t on, language, behaviour which does not give them authority or lead to anything meaningful. Fear is the key to most negative male behaviour. For example, my crew were never involved in crime, no matter what pressure or inducement given. If people come with war, we are in the war business and I loved the challenge of battle and organising and planning and getting my boys ready, but hooligan business and crime, no. I smoked weed because I liked it, especially when reasoning but never drink despite all the big boys forcing people to drink. I viewed drink as the weapon of the weak, because when those brothers drink they want to start f**king with people, not knowing a clear head is the principal weapon of the warrior not intoxicants.
A man who drinks cannot defend himself, his woman or crew. Being a good soldier means being able to read the environment quickly and knowing when to slip out of a scene. I have rarely been out with a woman for sh*t to break out with her caught up in it, and when it has happened because of fools, the next day they need half of he crew to stop me breaking their arse in two. Men spare women from certain ugliness or necessities in life.
Today we have gang rapes, which is the most one of the most demeaning and pubilic signs of male weaknesses, apart from abusing kids. I know or have read about at least four gang rapes by black boys. Sister I cannot imagine that happening in my crew, or the wider posse, because no matter what, some brother is going to say that sh*t stops right now. Or if that got out somebody would put you out of your misery. These things occur because of abolute powerlessness by those who perpertrate it, who can pressurise or stigmatise others to follow their lead. Its like sexually mugging but worse, a 'wanker crime' of the lowest type. A group of black males attacking a single sister?
So it’s all about being given the initial exposure to the right options, and making the right and bright decisions. For example why as a young male should they be encouraged to lie and deceive women, it only explodes in your face and makes you look small in front of the world. I had a friend whose woman use to go through his belongings and stuff and follow him about the place, because of his dishonsty. One day we were going to a cousin’s pre wedding bash. We all met up by my place, which she had never been too before, and as I open the door for all of us to leave, there was this woman with a torch and a piece of paper doing her Colombo sh*t on my doorstep. She thought he was seeing a woman. If silence could kill, he died 1000 times.
I just looked him in the eye, watching him shrivel and said we will meet you in the car then. Nobody laughed it off in the car, the atmosphere was like torture, because he embarrased us and sh*t could have broken out outside my quite yard. You can’t hide that shame and how small he looked in front of us, knowing the kind of men he is dealing with.
Sister, I have letters and mementos and stuff from girl friends going way back and I keep them because they are special to me. Some of those letters would blind a woman who read them. Know woman has ever gone through my stuff or vice versa, because I had a life and love before them and as long as it is not in their faces that are life. The people who are special to me are special to me and no woman would come and test that, because if they did they would end up on the wrong side. But where there is integrity there is no problem. I get on very well with all my exes everyone of them; even the crazy ones and they never hesitate to contact me with issues, problems, professional advice etc.
Same as sex, young boys and men of all ages, need to know boasting about sex and how many women you have had only shows how stupid you are. That is why I dislike hip hop imagery so much it demeans the things people like me like black women in particular and people talking about them cheaply. These people are harming our young men and denying them proper tings. What does Nelly know about women or sex? Shut up child. There is no way you value a woman when you call her even in joke a 'whore', or 'b**ch'. No way unless you live in fantasy land.
If you are talking about ‘scrag end ‘sex yes, because that is all you are getting in those kinds of scenarios. Little snatches of lust/passion but little else. No woman gives her all, unless she feels a man is truly wholly and solely committed to her, and she feels special in a very sincere non-manipulative way. I am not talking about that, flowers and dinner foolishness, based on procedure not sincerity. When a man don't have money for that it doesn't mean he can't blow a sister out off the planet.
I didn't have much money, because what do young people need serious money for. But I was a master letter writer and wrote my girls no bullsh*t but sincere, humourous and romantic letters and they would fall like trees in a lumber yard. Those letters got worn out through reading.
Nothing is more powerful than sincerity and that word 'keeping it real'.
Then you are more likely to experience stuff that will make you faint, because women do not wear their sexuality so to speak on their lapels [lil' Kim’s of this world notwithstanding] and female immodesty and sexual desires are not complementary things.Those kind of girls are everybodies not yours, cos your girl saves that special viewing for you and you alone. Some of the most outwardly modest women/well behaved are the hottest in every sense. I was surprised at my Bajan girlfriend, because she wanted to start having sex, and had it all worked out. It was not the first thing on m y mind, cos I was happy where I was, getting what she was giving me, [plus her mum knew my dad] and when it started well, all gravy and plenty for a long period of time.
So if you are interested in sex, my advise to young brothers, is to forget about it and learn methods of sexual release in your private space. So when you are with your girl, you don’t have to sit in a fixed position, or wear your long jacket or whatever tactics brother's choose to use to betray that their biochemistry have got the best of them. Leave your lead at home, bring only your pencil. Many men even in mature men are controlled by their hormones not vice versa e.g. controlling that thing. As soon as they sense sex, or are visually stimulated they are already out of control. If a brother cannot control his drive, or put bluntly his errection no matter how hot the woman is, he won’t be pleasing her for long trust me. His dick is in control, not him.
It gives the wrong message, even if you are not willing your anatomy to behave in such a manner and chemistry has kicked in. If it is too overwhealmng your mind and priorities are going to shift, and when it declines so will your interest and likely to mess up something that would serve you well; and provide ultimate pleasure in the medium or long terms. A young brother whose got sex eating his arse, aint interested in hugging or just joking with his girl. He's got a bus to catch.
The important of this male stuff is learnt very early e.g. when dancing closely with a woman and the last thing you want is for nature to intrude between you and the sister. An old Jamaican grandfather taught me that. Never go into battle with a hot weapon, cool it off first.
I watch brothers do all kinds of craziness on a daily basis.Like brothers staring at women. Why it is so hit and miss and potentially embarrasing. Learning to acknowledge a sister is one thing, not acknowleging a bueatiful sister is a crime against god and man. But some of these guys are so crude you wonder do they ever tally up or reflect on how sucessful these moves are. Women are complicated and contrary and hence bros need to be far more skillful in many instances which would have a more mutual beneficial effect, rather than this hit and miss or offend/conflict mode of operation.
A man knows how to scan a woman so fast, and never ever communicate that to her and when they find out they are ‘shocked’ [such is female vanity and they love it]. I size you up girl friend, when I want to, not when you want to or expect it, or in the way you expect it. It is rude to stare at anyone and over play your hand. Hear this, and I am po faced like a judge most of the time. Like war give nothing away in the face or elsewhere. If in doubt silence is your best friend. Bravado is always weakness.
I salute brothers who want more than one black woman for real and wish I could join them. An experience man as you know and indicated knows the average woman only wants to see a man in her face about three days a week, other than that you are like the kids getting in her way irritating her, in their domain, the whole house. I can identify with your statement of being thrown out of my own home to walk the streets, when I was very happy working in my office in nobody’s face, except my son. But still somehow she will find some reason why I need to be elsewhere. So I am down with any brother who thinks more can be better. But where I disagree big time, or insist is this. If you want two women marry them and be a good husband to them and provide for them equally in the things a man has to, and raise the children equally.
Most would run at the thought, because they want everything on the cheap. Of course that too much of a challenge. If a man can do that with the ‘support’ of his woman, or do a Sir James Goldsmith who has two families, then I will respect that man. Otherwise you a kid and an irresponsible hooligan, playing in big men’s business and not impressing anyone. It takes nothing to deceive, or to manipulate or abuse a woman into something she would never want in normal circumstances.
A lot of young guys are actually frightened to have any complicated or sophisticated interaction with sisters, because they don’t know how, to and good women are sophisticated creatures, complicated and contrary even when in their teens or quite young, and that the only way to keep them good is by the same means.
To concluse male power is not dominance or should not be, in the same way female power is not dominance because there is always something to counter and bring balance to that equation. No house or empire can build without a female equivalent doing her stuff to make things work. Simple fact of life.
Finally, you are quite right men and women are childish, in equal measures, when they are ready as they are all things high and low. There is nothing about man, that cannot be said about women in their highest or lowest. I was talking to bro Kareem man to man. So you know the score we are obviously not going to sight men in the same way. Right got some work to do. But had to respond when a lady calls….
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AQ
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Posted: Tuesday September 30th, 2003 05:19 |
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Lord Babes, let us know when you're doing the "long tings" sweets...lol.
This needs to be printed and handed out to every black teenager, this is a great introduction on how to be a black man, hell a human being. Lessons for the ladies as well. Hope you don't mind but I would like to print this and send it to everyone I know, it's a treasure trove of good, sound information for people of all ages.
Fredblack wrote:
Locsgirl said:
‘Fred black
it always makes me smile when I read your posts. I smile because I agree with a lot of your opinions and I smile because I imagine the effect your words have on those who don’t! My late husband held much same opinions as you do’.
......etc
Last edited on Tuesday September 30th, 2003 05:59 by AQ
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Fredblack
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Posted: Tuesday September 30th, 2003 06:17 |
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 AQ Big Sorry my du du( meaning dearest, darling and infinitie other of an appolgetic nature). Wrote this in between serious work and cut and pasted and completely forgot that It is both polite and helpful to use the Long tings convention. Trust me, I will get there.
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locsgirl
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Posted: Tuesday September 30th, 2003 07:30 |
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Fredblack!!
Thank you So much!! PLEASE WRITE THE BOOK!!! AQ was spot on. So many young men ought to have access to this Wisdom, so sad they dont in their everyday life.Words have So much power, as do a persons actions.Wise people dont realise the effect they can have on a persons life. One word, one person can change or influence your life forever.Sometimes I;m faced with a situation in my life and I will suddenly "feel" my husbands thoughts as if he just whispered in my ear some much needed advice. Or I will judge a situation the way he would have seen it, because he helped me see things in a much clearer light. I definitely wore rose coloured lenses before I knew him! These things are a gift, more precious than Anything money can buy. It shows us how people live on, their spirit lives on because they gave us the gift of their wisdom and it continues to speak to us long after they are gone.
I used to be phobic about computers (and any new technology) but I Bless the fact I got one now, because I would probably Never have met you in life and had the opportunity to Hear you. It is so good that you can reach out and affect many people with the wisdom you so generously share with us. I;m sure you have (and will continue to) change lives, and you wont even be aware of it.
And Yes, you made me blush!! Thanks x
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Fredblack
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Posted: Wednesday October 1st, 2003 02:54 |
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 Ladies. AQ, Locsgirl.
AQ, thank you. The information is free and do with it as you will. Thanks for having the patience to read it.
Locsgirl: Many thanks. About a book. Interesting. At the moment struggling to get one published on my academic area of organisation, leadership and strategic issues[boring grey kinda stuff] and it isn't easy. Still chasing down a particular black publisher. On the topic of the posting as fate may have it a group of us [men working in this area for a little while] put together an outline probably 8 years ago and got no joy whatsover,because white publishers are or were not interested at all on anything to do with black men; unless we were prepared to produce what they wanted using our names which was never going to happen. They were only interested in almost anything to do with black women, which was part of the broader influence of women in publishing.
That stuff is around somewhere. God willing and time management and health, I will dust it off, as you sisters are not alone in making similar observations. Half a dozen concious sisters can't all be wrong. One of the brothers who could have picked up the work is busy completing his doctorate in education. He is a wicked teacher/trainer and specialist in pre teen education of black boys. Leadership development in older young men is my area. But you ladies have made me think we may have to find some time, when only god knows.
This is why the Internet is such a powerful tool, and why we black folks got to master it, so that we can communicate and interact and learn from each other, as those of us who have had experience of media and publishing world know, how they control deliberately how we see and relate to each other. It is better business and politically more correct, to have us dissing each other, reproducing the worse aspects of this culture and reality, than the reverse. Publishing and the media is no different than the music business. That is no acccident. These people deal and pedal mental and spiritual poisoin when it comes to us and we can see the result in how we perceive and act on reality. Somebody produce that idiot 'Real Gangster Never Die' and in his little head is the amalgamation of material produced and marketed by similar insttitions.
Time does not allow me to do more than comment on your remarkes, that you feel your husbands spirit is ever present. Of coures it is, and why shouldn't it be?. If you genuinely love or care for someone, your protection or guardianship does not cease with physical death.
Both positive or negative. There are a lot of people when I pass [depending on what side of the fence I end up on, I will protect or guide, or worse come to worse put juju, obeah evil spirit of curse on their arse, if they mess with my people, never mind my girl. Bad move.
Sis we don't need entertainer psychics John Edwards or Sylvia Brown on TV[making serious money and increasing our unemployment or underemployment rate, when we are masters in this area] to tell us spirits interact with the physical world and we have guardians in that world. I grew up in that culture and take it as given. I have too many examples, including a couple quite recently where someone brought a message from my grandfather[my principal guardian] and great aunt which was so specific and precise, and there was no way the messenger could know the specfics or description of my dead relatives because they are too old and we have no pictures. I raised this in the old Forum and got some interesting examples.
I mentioned this in the 'What Is Conciousness' posting, because I believe that particular types of conciousness is innate, and some people can understand various things either physical or metaphyscial[spritual and natural forces]at higher levels in a way others cannot no matter how they struggle. For example, I meditate and have done so 20 years, but I cannot receive messages from the metaphysical world, because I don't have the conciousness or innate skill, or that highly developed left side brain capacity.
Others, have and I have known many, eg aunts, who had these abilities. But I and others know my powers of conciousness in phsyical things is probably far sharper than most, and ever since I was a kid. Everybody has these powers at different levels, and is contingent on concisousness, and also knowing your purpose and thus finding your god given power. Anyway...
So sis you answered your own statement. It is not, it seems as if your husband comes to mind, or his pressence is felt, because it is present and manifest in how you behave and think. That could have been his purpose? Things or people who serve higher purposes exist permanently albeit in different form. Not only because they do, in FACT, but also because we involve them in our day to day actions/thoughts etc refering to them, trying to view things from eg their perspective.
Nuff said.
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locsgirl
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Posted: Wednesday October 1st, 2003 06:42 |
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@Fredblack
Thank you for that. What an interesting man you are....you meditate too!!! You say you meditated 20 years but dont get messages but you;re capable of Delivering some very powerful ones yourself! This has to come from a heightened perception and so you;re meditation has held you in good stead.Like you say we all got a job to do.Some people may need the "John Edwards" to open them up to world of spirit. Some people need Christianity or Spiritualism.Bob Marley did it for many.All I know is you got the ability to pack a punch with your words(usually directly in line with the solar plexus for me) and that is Some power!
I would love to see school children sharing a group meditation session every morning after(or instead of) morning assembly.It would be such a Positive to their education.Personally I cannot imagine life without meditation.There is such a big difference between what people are Told is right and/or real and what they Know to be true because their consciousness has expanded.
All I can say is....OM.
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Mafdet
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Posted: Wednesday October 1st, 2003 08:00 |
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Fredblack wrote
If you genuinely love or care for someone, your protection or guardianship does not cease with physical death.
Sis we don't need entertainer psychics John Edwards or Sylvia Brown on TV[making serious money and increasing our unemployment or underemployment rate, when we are masters in this area] to tell us spirits interact with the physical world and we have guardians in that world.
I grew up in that culture and take it as given. Everybody has these powers at different levels, and is contingent on concisousness, and also knowing your purpose and thus finding your god given power.
Things or people who serve higher purposes exist permanently albeit in different form. Not only because they do, in FACT, but also because we involve them in our day to day actions/thoughts etc refering to them, trying to view things from eg their perspective.
Bro I could agree more (again)  with what you wrote I said it before and I will say it again .......when is the book due.You express yourself very well and many will benefit from your words of wisdom. There are so many forces out there capturing our children at early ages seducing them (and Adults) to things that take their attention away from their natural blessings from the MOST HIGH that are within them. Brother I think your words of wisdom can be a tool that helps activate the positive energy within some of these lost souls out there.
BLESS THE WAY YOU EXPRESS 
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candace
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Posted: Tuesday October 21st, 2003 19:40 |
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| Why do other balck men have to do for you stupid old black man what about helping yourslef. why should black men who are successful be lookingnoutfor their stupid lay black minions. Survial of the fittest if you can't look out for yourself then i will advise you to kiss the dust.
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Posted: Tuesday October 21st, 2003 21:52 |
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