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chi
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Posted: Saturday July 3rd, 2004 21:13 |
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is there anyone out there who finds it an issue to marry (not just date, o) a non-african black man. Obviously you can fall in love with anyone, but does the 'heritage' bother you at all?
What implications if any do you think it would have on your family and kids etc ie language, customs, belief and your roots?
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Happiness
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Posted: Saturday July 3rd, 2004 21:28 |
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@ Chi - yep, it would bother me alot. The culture/heritage thing would be an issue for me
Why did you ask this question? and what are your thoughts on the topic??
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 00:50 |
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Hmmm are you saying Happiness that a Carribean/US Black has no chance with an African who shares your views. I understand your concerns but...
Personally if I married an African Woman I would hope she could speak her language and at least have a working knowlegede of her culture. And I would expect any children that the marriage produces to be fully versed in thier culture/especially language. As well as identifying with their west Indian roots.
Alot of Western born women are too westernised for my liking. And even more so with African women. Some seem to hold all things European as being positive.. especially western politics/ hairstyles etc.
Anyway never been a problem with the African women Ive dated.. never ended up marrying them though.. Now I know why..
But nowaydays level of concious on certain issues is key for me.. African Women from the continent and Diasprora lack cultural awarness in equal amounts I would say..
I specifically mention the women as this is this mans point of view.
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Happiness
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 06:21 |
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@ Mansamusa - I wont go as far as to say "no chance".... because love comes as love comes. But in as much as I have a say in it, my 1st choice would always be a Nigerian. 2nd would be a Continental African and 3rd a Diasporan.
I have dated African Americans but frankly the differences/perceptions/ attitudes/expectations/etc... were such that I couldn't see myself in a marriage. Once I considered it...but I broke off the engagement because I just couldn't see it. Perhaps the love was simply not deep enough. I haven't really dated West Indian men although I was surrounded by them whilst attending Univ and they were as gorgeous as sin! But I suspect that they would have presented me with the same difficulties as African American men.
I suppose I am of the old school of thinking that when a woman marries a man, she adopts his culture completely and become part of him. So for me the answer is no, I dont think I would marry a non-African unless he had very strong African sensibilities.
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Fredblack
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 11:33 |
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@Happy.....African-American Tell me you were just experimenting with cultural difference for a case study? Might as well go out with a white man in MOST CASES....Of course there are some hot sexy and powerful men in the Caribbean, what have I been whispering to you in private
But I agree with you down the line. This is a thread for sisters to respond so I will butt out. I have always found Nigerian women very very appealing especially their stuborness intelligence and character and sense of humor and energy. Obvious other things not withstanding. I like a woman who has some fight in her and some creative tension....Keeps the pepper hot.
But I think out of most African cultures Nigerian and Yoruba culture is probably one of the most difficult to penetrate in both postive and negative senses. I know guys who are half Caribbean and half Yoruba who have lots of problems, but that is partly due to thier foolish nature.
Southern Africans women and other parts it is more easier to negotiate the culture from what I have observed.
FB
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 13:25 |
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@Happiness
I hear you. While not wanting to slander our American cousins they are perhaps a bit more European in outlook due to historical factors.. i.e. racial composition of the country etc..
BUT..
I disagree that while your traditional view of you adopting your husbands culture will hold true for you.. isnt it the mothers culture that their children invariably adopt. To take an extreme/ look at mixed race children with white mothers. The children will in 90% of times take on their mothers European culture.
But maybe Nigerian/Yoruba culture is more inpenetrable and more unyielding..(which can only be a good thing and long may it continue).
Nigerian women are excellent specimens of Black womenhood though. I keep seeing this lovely Nigerian girl in my local Supermarket. I know she's Nigerian but she wont tell me much else..LOL..maybe have to learn some Yoruba...
Anyway Im staying out of this..sorry ladies..
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chi
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 20:13 |
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| @ happiness, the reason I ask is because it is a decisive issue for me, moreso now that I am older. My ideal would be to marry a Nigerian(Igbo), second, any Nigerian or other African man. I just feel so strongly about it because I am Igbo and so are both my parents (obviously) I thank God that both parents were African, I know what I have gained. I also want my traditional wedding with all the tradition and ceremony, I want my house to be an Igbo speaking household not to mention the food etc. I just dont think I have the right to expect somebody of a different culture to accept living in that type of household. Dont get me wrong I know I can fall in love with anyone not just African I am just trying to be practical. Perhaps most important is the point which you touched upon the wife and children are always absorbed into the husbands family/culture. Even if I end up marrying an Igbo guy from Enugu, he will have the responsibility of building a house for us in his compound and planting our roots there, even though I am from Abia state. A person who is married does not go back to live in her family's compound unless something has happened ie death, separation, or she has been driven out. The children belong in the fathers compound even when they are closer to the mothers side. If I marry a non-african my children will not have their fathers compound to claim. I dont know if I can take that away from my children. I just love African culture too much and would rather add to what I already have instead of the alternative. This is not about Africans being vetter it is strictly about African heritage and culture
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Happiness
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 20:51 |
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@ Mansamusa and Fred Black - mmmm...didn't know Carib Men had such a liking for Nigerian women! LOL!!
I think your assessment is accurate, though, about the difficulty in penetrating the Nigerian cultures. This is probably why you dont see as many Nigerian women marrying outside as you do men.
@ Mansamusa - I know it is true that children are more influenced by the mother's culture but how, as a wife, can you sustain your culture in a household where the husband does not nurture that culture with you? I think it is very difficult and I want a family where my children, my husband and I are all on the same wave length.
btw - how do you know the Nigerian girl in the supermarket is Yoruba? she may be Ibo and if she is...forget it!!!! (unless you are willing to pay dowry for her! LOL!)
@ Freddy B - for you, my dear, I would make an exception! (psst - dont tell Kunjufu I said that!! LOL!!!)
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Happiness
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 21:08 |
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@ Chi - ah, you are a true Igbo woman o! your father's compound! where are you posting from? Naija?
I understand completely what you are saying. I, married an Ibo man for the reason that you said.....and I knew that I had to be the wife of an Ibo man. But honestly, when I was younger, I did not feel this why...hence my tango with Americans. But I quickly came to my senses! LOL!!
Anyway, Chi, If the Ibo culture means so much to you, it is good that you have a clear understanding in your mind now as to the kind of family you want and hence the kind of husband you want. Nothing wrong with that. But I suspect that you will have problems marrying other Nigerians/Africans given your strong attachment to Ibo culture and tradition. Few people who post here on BN will understand the depth of what you are saying.
@ Mansamusa - you see what you are facing when you fall in love with an Ibo girl! Pray your super market girl is not Ibo! LOL!
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Fredblack
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 21:10 |
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@Happy...said"@ Mansamusa and Fred Black - mmmm...didn't know Carib Men had such a liking for Nigerian women! LOL!! "
Girlfriend listen. Intelligent men with some cultural foundations like good African/Black women from wherever they come from. But I have always liked and admired Nigerian women not only those of partnering age to use a an awkward term, but I know a lot of elder Nigerian women who I think are very very admirable in so many qualities. Stong intelligent, ambitious and very caring and spirtual women. Taught a lot of Nigerian women of all ages..Even when small I thought the women very dignified in their national dress. Just saw some a moment ago probably coming from church and they looked very lovely.
So Happy you think I just like you for your perfume? FB more sophisticated than that...I am a persuer of quality in women or people generally...And I am an eager and willing student to learn whatever you have to teach
I am blessed to be an exception to your well considered rule, as I know you are not rash in your considerations of these complex things..LOL.
Ah life is so good...
FB
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Happiness
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 21:43 |
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| @ FB - no more kisses for you...I am still waiting for my promised trip to your island estate!
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Fredblack
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 21:49 |
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@Happy. FB never makes promises he doesn't deliver on. You know that. Start building in next 18 months and will let you know......
Ah you doubt me.... Our little country will be honoured with your pressence. Have to leave a couple of goats and things aside so we can celebrate properly.
FB
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Lalia
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Posted: Sunday July 4th, 2004 22:54 |
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One of my relatives who is African American is actually married to an born and raised African man (I'm not exactly certain of his nationality I think Nigerian), She apparently loved this man and I assume viceversa they've been together for years and have two beautiful children. It kinda was kinda surprising in the beginning throughout the family that she married this man. Because of the contrast in culture and values and perceptions/misconceptions that were concerns my family had in the end they lovingly embraced him and his family.
When your face with those types of issues you definately have to consider everything. I do agree with the point Happiness stated when you are married, she adopts his culture completely and become part of him. The only reason why I don't think I would married outside because I'm pretty content with the only one I've been with since like forever!lol and we have so much in common in terms of values and such.... but for anyone else anything is possible
Fredblack wrote:@Happy.....African-AmericanTell me you were just experimenting with cultural difference for a case study? Might as well go out with a white man in MOST CASES
Dang fb that's a revelation?
Last edited on Sunday July 4th, 2004 23:00 by Lalia
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Burning Spear
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 08:57 |
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Fredblack wrote: @Happy.....African-AmericanTell me you were just experimenting with cultural difference for a case study? Might as well go out with a white man in
---------------------------
Aren't we steretyping here? Judging from the high number's of UK-based brothers dating/marrying white seems like a double standard.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 09:41 |
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Im sorry to interupt the thread but
 MR Spear
tut tut tut 
A lot of black men in the media may be 'experimenting' as you put it but not in reality at everyday life level. That is a fallacy you shouldn't be so willing to believe!
I'll leave now and let the ladies continue.........
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Happiness
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 12:10 |
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@ DM - ok - but you do see how FB's remarks may be hurtful to the African Americans on this site right? I think thats what Laila and Burning Spear were reacting to.
@ Burning spear - I know what FB is trying to say because I have always said the same thing to my African American friends which was that culturally the black American culture is as alien to me as the white American culture.
I remember in my first year in the US I said to one of my African American classmates at HU ( yes I began my life here as a Bison!) that black Americans are like white people painted black. My friend of course was pissed off and to this day he still reminds me jokingly of the silliness of my remarks.
Having now lived here for many years I see the differences betweem black and white Americans - but from the outside looking in, the differences are not so apparent.
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If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human" ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
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Fredblack
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 13:03 |
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@Burning Spear. I was actually being tongue in cheek. Even though I could be more serious on the point and did make exception for concious and very culturally rooted African-Americans. So possibly did not read my post carefully or chose to ignore what I said.
But even then what constitutes culturally centrerd in the US and what we would consider it, is completely different. Have you ever spoken to non African Americans who have spent time with African-Americans in Africa or Caribbean with the average African American to hear their perceptions. Whether they are ordinary people or the most concious elite, the differences in most cases are very pronounced. Read books autobiorgaphies of many African-Americans who have spent time in those countries and whether they intend to or not, the cultural differences are massive, whether they are entertainers, sports figures, intellectuals and radicals. For example many of the leading AFrican American women writers refer to African men and CAribbean men in their own countries in almost primmitive and backward terms .No they are not backward, they have strong core values around certain fundamentals which African American men do not have in the same way in many areas.
For example the role of men in those socieites is shaped by indigenous culture not western standards even if they are professional or middle class women with a great degree of autonomy and independence. So know one is saying that African Americans are not nice or attractive or whatever. And how can we as most African Caribbeans relationship with US and African Americans is older than continental Africans and all of us have first cousins etc who are born and bred African Americans. We see these differences clearly at family get togethers and a range of other things.
For example. British Caribbeans have a far stronger cultural link to their home countries than their African American family members. They not only fit into their home countries smoother but do so in far larger numbers.
Brother this is an issue which goes to the core of important issues for international black development. Because tribal and cultural links which many black people want to down play, are fundamental in shaping culture and how we look at things and I have always maintained this for a very very long time. Skin colour is a minimum indicator of commanlity and not sufficient in itself for anything other than reacting against whites.
So this issue is not only important on the interpersonal level, but also other levels.
By the way there is a difference between a steroetype and character/cultural traits. The firstr is all people of a given class do XYX or have XYZ the latter is a significant number from a certain class do or have XYZ.
Furthermore the majority of black men in this country do not or ever have dated whites. These people just have a very high profile in accord to offically desired representation. But then the social structure and patterns of residency etc in the US is fundmentally different. So accessing and being around white women is completely different in the US compared to here. So you cannot use one to compare with another as these are different social and cultural systems with different histories.
Peace Out
FB
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Happiness
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 13:12 |
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@ FB - just realised that you got your original log in back! Nice to see you in full force again!!!
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If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 13:14 |
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@Nice to be back my dudu
FB
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chi
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 14:03 |
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@happiness, congratulations! you managed to marry an igbo man, I pray I will follow you nwanne m!
Your advice is sound, let me be honest with you my sister I was trying to be liberal but in my heart of hearts I ONLY WANT AN IGBO MAN, he must be Igbo, O !
I was born and raised in London but in an Igbo household for sure, about 98% of my friends today are Ndi Igbo. I think I would best suit someone who has spent some amount of time outside of Nigeria though because I have some western views also, but then again Nigerians back home are modern in their thinking, my only concerns surround attitudes to women in education/career, which seems to have improved in Naija nowadays. Are there many Igbos in the U.S? there are a few here in the uk and trust me we are all looking for Igbo spouses even my Hausa and Yoruba friends are looking for Igbo husbands! We have two organisations for young Igbos to come together, the Igbo cultural and support network (http://www.igbocsn.com) and yibosc (young igbos social club). Anyway, my sister take care and greet your family for me.
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BlackBeauty
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Posted: Monday July 5th, 2004 15:35 |
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Happiness wrote:
@ FB - just realised that you got your original log in back! Nice to see you in full force again!!!
I noticed that aaaaggggeeess ago....
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Burning Spear
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Posted: Tuesday July 6th, 2004 08:09 |
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Fredblack wrote: @Burning Spear. I was actually being tongue in cheek. Even though I could be more serious on the point and did make exception for concious and very culturally rooted African-Americans. So possibly did not read my post carefully or chose to ignore what I said.
But even then what constitutes culturally centrerd in the US and what we would consider it, is completely different. Have you ever spoken to non African Americans who have spent time with African-Americans in Africa or Caribbean with the average African American to hear their perceptions. Whether they are ordinary people or the most concious elite, the differences in most cases are very pronounced. Read books autobiorgaphies of many African-Americans who have spent time in those countries and whether they intend to or not, the cultural differences are massive, whether they are entertainers, sports figures, intellectuals and radicals. For example many of the leading AFrican American women writers refer to African men and CAribbean men in their own countries in almost primmitive and backward terms .No they are not backward, they have strong core values around certain fundamentals which African American men do not have in the same way in many areas.
For example the role of men in those socieites is shaped by indigenous culture not western standards even if they are professional or middle class women with a great degree of autonomy and independence. So know one is saying that African Americans are not nice or attractive or whatever. And how can we as most African Caribbeans relationship with US and African Americans is older than continental Africans and all of us have first cousins etc who are born and bred African Americans. We see these differences clearly at family get togethers and a range of other things.
For example. British Caribbeans have a far stronger cultural link to their home countries than their African American family members. They not only fit into their home countries smoother but do so in far larger numbers.
Brother this is an issue which goes to the core of important issues for international black development. Because tribal and cultural links which many black people want to down play, are fundamental in shaping culture and how we look at things and I have always maintained this for a very very long time. Skin colour is a minimum indicator of commanlity and not sufficient in itself for anything other than reacting against whites.
So this issue is not only important on the interpersonal level, but also other levels.
By the way there is a difference between a steroetype and character/cultural traits. The firstr is all people of a given class do XYX or have XYZ the latter is a significant number from a certain class do or have XYZ.
Furthermore the majority of black men in this country do not or ever have dated whites. These people just have a very high profile in accord to offically desired representation. But then the social structure and patterns of residency etc in the US is fundmentally different. So accessing and being around white women is completely different in the US compared to here. So you cannot use one to compare with another as these are different social and cultural systems with different histories.
Peace Out
FB
-----------------------------------------
For the sake of this thread I'll just back out peacefully,but you are throwing around alot of steretypes.I know alot of Black Carribeans who are Jamaican only when its convienent for them.
I have travelled throughtout Africa and visited the Carribean and the breakdown of the family unit appears to be a worldwide phenomena that appears more rooted in economics than anything else.
But to stay on topic women will marry within their comfortzones.But as the global village expands intermariage will occur.I know many US black/Carrib/African unions.Don't follow all closely.People progress, or divorse over the usual mess, money,infidelity and the like.Becasue a brother is from Atlanta and not say Harrare should not be the deciding factor.What we as black americans need to do is venture out into the wider world.Once that is done the stereotypes will die out.
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Happiness
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Posted: Tuesday July 6th, 2004 13:03 |
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@ Burning Spear - actually people in the world do not marry and divorce for all the same reasons.
For exapmle, marriages in America between black Americans and Nigerians have larger divorce rate than marriages between Nigerians. THis is not to say that these marriage are bigger failures...rather as I see it, an American wife is quicker to leave a marriage than a Nigerian wife
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Tuesday July 6th, 2004 13:36 |
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@Happiness
I see what Im up against now.
But hey Im sure I can build a compound to pass on to future progeny.
But I see what you mean.
It refreshing to see and hear Africans so culturally rooted.
And Ill start shopping at a different supermarket.LOL!
Any women from Sierre Leone on here...?
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Happiness
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Posted: Friday July 9th, 2004 03:04 |
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| @ Mansamusa- shame on you for giving up that easily!
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Sista Africa
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Posted: Saturday July 10th, 2004 10:36 |
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The first question all of you should ask is
WHO IS AN AFRICAN
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Fredblack
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Posted: Saturday July 10th, 2004 12:09 |
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@Burning Spear said:"I have travelled throughtout Africa and visited the Carribean and the breakdown of the family unit appears to be a worldwide phenomena that appears more rooted in economics than anything else".
Don't think your right there bro..The breakdown in African family in the continent is not the same and of type or scale as we have here. There is no babymother/father crisis in Africa. There are families disrupted by economics, migration war etc. There is no breadkwon in the Caribbean family in the Caribbean. The biggest issue on family matters in the Eastern Caribbean is teen parents. People there generally think folks here are crazy, especially women and that is how women view it.
My female cousins who are all highly educated and travelled black women say they would prefer their sons to marry one of their own eg Caribbean or Africans, who they met at uni or in their travels. But not women from England and definitely not the US, who are a bit like women from Barbados but without the cultural order/sophistication and constraints. Bajan women like Caribbean women love their men and country and have strong family values and that type of stuff.
Women in the Caribbean do not marry lightly and divorce in the way black women in the US do and why family warns you to mine those women. I have at least 4 aunts/uncles who have been married 60 plus years. Got cousins who have been in the US for 30 years and not kids who say this every day. A woman back home will know her husband is messing around will cuss him out or make noise but she is not going to divorce her husband easily.
I have two very attractive and very succesful professional female cousins whose husband had women. Their wive's just clap them with their heavisest cooking pot and in one case tell him to come out the house.
And the real thing which burns these women in the public nature of these men's foolishness and its damage to their public face. Look there are too many hot and attractive and desirable women in the Caribbean for a woman to think she is going to end her marriage for foolishness for what.
But in the case ofthis is a short term measure because no woman is going to order a man out of his home which he bought in the Caribbean. No police man is going to order a man off his property. At worse if things are too hot, he will be told to go by his family and kin and come back in a couple of days, which is what happens.
There is no honour or stature in being a divorced woman in them parts, unless your husband is a real dog and publicly humiliating the woman or really past the boundary. But people don't divorce like that. There is no legal profession with an interest in that kind of issue in the way there is here.
In white countries like Britian and the US where black people are more exposed to the policy and fads, and ideas of white people our families will be weaker. But not in black countries which black men run and heavily influence. Ain't happening. Is she going to get a man whose attitudes are fundamenally different. White men are not an option for the overwhealming majority and so are African American men.
I don't know of more than one woman who has an African-American husband in my island or local community and she met him in the US and returned home. Most Caribbean people in the US move with their own island or regions people.
So while I agree with your sentiments, but not the facts.
FB
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Happiness
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Posted: Saturday July 10th, 2004 12:57 |
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@ Sista Africa = why would one ask that question? is there ambiguity for you as to who/what an African is ???
@ FB -- 
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If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human" ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
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Africaman
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Posted: Saturday July 10th, 2004 14:37 |
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chi wrote: is there anyone out there who finds it an issue to marry (not just date, o) a non-african black man. Obviously you can fall in love with anyone, but does the 'heritage' bother you at all?
What implications if any do you think it would have on your family and kids etc ie language, customs, belief and your roots?
Hi Chi, though am male, I can relate to what you're saying. As a Naija-Yoruba man myself, I wouldn't marry a woman who couldn't speak my mother tongue fluently. Language relates to culture, hence a good grasp of a peoples' language will provide a solid inroad to the cultural life, mores, ways and mentalities of that people. I also intend on raising my kids in a largely Yoruba-speaking atmosphere, making sure they are truly culturally grounded. A non-Yoruba speaker will just defeat this purpose!
Interestingly, I have met quite a few non-Naijas with a solid command of the Yoruba language. There was this Ghanaian woman who spoke fluent Yoruba at a do I went to once ( she had spent 2 years at unilorin). Also, 2 years ago, I met this Chinese girl in a Naija restaurant, who spoke fluent Yoruba! And she had never been to Naija b/4, she just picked the lingo up from her Naija guy and his friends! Needless to say I was very impressed by all this!
@ALL, Nigeria is made up of numerous ethnic nationalities. The most populous of all are the:
1) Hausa-Fulani in the north, about 38 million strong, with a homeland almost as big as mainland britain.
2) Yoruba in the west, about 30 million strong, with a homeland about the size of England and Wales.
3) Igbo in the east, also about 30 million strong, with a homeland a bit bigger than Scotland.
4) Ijaw in the niger-delta in the south, about 9 million strong, with a homeland the size of Austria.
5) Ibibio to the east of Ijawland, about 5 million strong, with a homeland a bit bigger than Wales.
6) Kanuri to the north east of Nigeria, below the lake Chad, about 7 million strong, with a homeland a bit smaller than England.
7) Tiv on the mighty river benue, lower east central Nigeria, with a homeland about the size of Denmark, about 3.5 million strong.
8) Edo in the Midwest of Nigeria, about 3 million strong, with a homeland about the size of the Irish republic.
9) Nupe on the great river Niger, about 2 million strong, with a homeland a bit smaller than the netherlands.
10) Igala on the confluence, where the great river niger and mighty benue meet up, then turn towards the niger delta.
To be cont'sd.
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Sista Africa
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Posted: Sunday July 11th, 2004 15:19 |
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Happiness
Check out the term non-African black man?
I can't imagine Arabs and Asians describing themselves in such a way
Is an African only some one who is born in Africa?
We are the worst people in the world for emphasising our divisions and differences
That is my point
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Happiness
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Posted: Sunday July 11th, 2004 15:51 |
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Well sista - the question: who is an African? is one that seems to only preoccupy Diasporan blacks. I think if you ask any "African" that question, the answer is quick and unambiguous. There is no uncertainty.
So what do you say about the millions of whites, lebanese, brazilians etc....who were born, and raised in Africa and know nothing else?
Im sorry sista, but for me a black skin does not an African make.
(but an African heart and an African mind does!)
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fazuan
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Posted: Monday July 12th, 2004 11:42 |
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Happiness wrote: Well sista - the question: who is an African? is one that seems to only preoccupy Diasporan blacks. I think if you ask any "African" that question, the answer is quick and unambiguous. There is no uncertainty.
So what do you say about the millions of whites, lebanese, brazilians etc....who were born, and raised in Africa and know nothing else?
Im sorry sista, but for me a black skin does not an African make.
(but an African heart and an African mind does!)
I agree totally, I have had some beef with my african american friends about this but I stand by my opinion, being black and being african are two very seperate things, I first consider myself black, then african!! it's just like saying all white people are european, we know this is not true, maybe all black originated from africa like all whites originated from europe but it doesn't mean every black person is african, i think it's ignorance to think this.
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Tuesday July 13th, 2004 12:47 |
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@Fazuan & Happineess
Is the chinese man who has lived in the US for maybe 4 -5 generations and has not breed out his chinese genes.
Is he not Chinese?
Why is the Black not African then?
And whites in america are often referred to as Europeans. They have European culture. As do Australians. When you even say Australians does that not bring an image of an European to mind. Perrsonally I do not think Australians as Aboringinie. Are you denying this?
So tell me.. other races can leave their homeland and still be referred to as where they come from. Why not the African?
For me a white can never be African. AS you would never refer to a Black as European. Rather whites are Europeans born in Africa. Simple.
So by the same token Im European then as I was born here and know nothing else.
Last edited on Tuesday July 13th, 2004 12:48 by Bredder Tukoma
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blaze
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 17:34 |
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| My aunt who is African has a partner who is Jamaican and the relationship seems fine. They have a daughter too. What's the problem?
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chi
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 20:21 |
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blaze wrote: My aunt who is African has a partner who is Jamaican and the relationship seems fine. They have a daughter too. What's the problem?
There is no problem, just a preference.
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 20:43 |
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@Chi
Ive just realised. If I didnt know the contents of the thread the title could be miscontrued.
Would you Marry a non African?
Hmmm...
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adiam
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 22:45 |
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"African ladies would you marry a non-african?"
what do u mean by non african black people???
Last edited on Friday August 6th, 2004 22:48 by adiam
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queen9ile
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 23:13 |
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As a African American woman I will not take anything said about African Americans personal here as I have had my views and perceptions also. I too have had friends from Africa mostly Nigerian and found that the differences in our thinking and culture would make it extremely hard to have a successful marriage but nothing in the world is IMPOSSIBLE. My aunt is married to a West African (Sierra Leone) for 15 years and chugging right along.
I too have been courted by Nigerian men but most of the time we end up argueing about the differences between our upbringings. I'm not saying that those problems could not work themselves out if love was the key foundation. Who knows!
Living here in the Pacific Northwest where white people overwhelmingly out number blacks I am starting to see recently migrated Nigerian men take up with white women for marriage. What I don't understand is if African American culture is not strong enough for marriage how can a big leap into pure white american culture be so? I recently ask a Nigerian man why he was dating a blue eyed blonde haired and he said it is simple sista I love who loves me! Woa
Please believe that I don't have a care in this world whom marries whom because the fact is you end up with the person YOU chose. I do believe that people tend to marry people of the same ethnic blackground and beliefs for that is just natural.
peace and blessings
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chi
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 23:15 |
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adiam wrote: "African ladies would you marry a non-african?"
what do u mean by non african black people???
p's I simply said non-African, remember that you added the "black people" part. It has nothing to do with colour, but everything to do with culture. Back to your question, by non-African I mean somebody who does not have African parentage (ie Nigerian, Ghanian, Zambian, Ethiopean, South African etc-you get my drift). I think you want to know whether I'm talking about African Americans, Caribbeans, Brazilians etc when I say non-African.............the answer is yes.
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chi
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Posted: Friday August 6th, 2004 23:18 |
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mansamusa wrote: @Chi
Ive just realised. If I didnt know the contents of the thread the title could be miscontrued.
Would you Marry a non African?
Hmmm...
I think most people knew what I meant, as far as I know this is the first time someone has said they don't know what I meant.
@Adiam, I think I did actually meantion "black somewhere in the original thread.....sorry
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