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DSP
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Posted: Monday June 11th, 2007 02:46 |
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Reading this list of things women want (a partial list, really), they strike me as the demands of a child, which is, well -- childish. I'm 60, and in my time I have had more than my share of success with women, and failures, along with lots of great sex. Now, I still have desire and I can still function well, but I am so glad that the sexual urgency that was with me from about 17 to around 57 has gone. I'm willing, but not in need; and I don't want to jump though hoops for any woman. I live alone, and I like it that way. I do what I want, I can choose to be alone or with company, and I am not subject to a running commentary on how well I am pleasing, or not pleasing, someone else. For all the qualities that women feel they are entitled to find in their man, they do not feel bound to reciprocate. They seem to feel that being a woman is all that is required of them in order to deserve the moon. And, they are inherently perverse. Not "perverted," but perverse -- meaning, for example, they want a man to provide them with every consideration, complement, and to live to fulfill her every desire -- and yet the man who actually does that for her will most likely be scorned as "weak." In brief, women have a huge set of contradictory demands that no man could possibly satisfy -- or even know about. Women love to keep what they want secret, or even deny it; then when her man doesn't come through with what she has said she doesn't want, she is then indignantly disappointed. Enough, already.
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BIG L
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Posted: Saturday June 16th, 2007 19:21 |
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seems like he is taking a snap shot of society in the 1950's and looking at 2007 and saying things have changed for the bad? that doesn't come as a shock to me, and that's without a time machine.
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safetyblitz
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Posted: Saturday June 16th, 2007 22:46 |
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Its not a time machine dude. I think you are to young to understand where he is coming from.
This is what a lot of men do when they love their wives and not try to dominate her. Its like a tightrope. You try to be pleasing to your woman and take care of her, but at the same time does not want his woman to see him as weak.
Many women do not understand or see the tightrope they put their men on. If he lets up too much she considers him weak. If he does not do enough in his own eyes he is being a failure of a man of taking care of his woman.
After a while this wears on a lot of older guys and they just leave and want to be alone. Not another woman, just alone period. Which is probably why we can go back to that article on here about older African men dying alone. Many dudes actually do not mind this because of the peace and quiet they have enjoyed.
You can get to a point that you can run yourself ragged trying to take care of a woman's every need and in her eyes still fail. I know lots of guys that have done this and are a shell of the men they once were. Not because he was weak for trying to take care of his woman, but because he stretched himself too far emotionally, physically, and financially for a woman that would/could not do the same for him.
A lot of women say that guys do a lot of things to them, but many fail to realize the subtle games they play on the men that love them can be very damaging to their relationships.
I know one guy who told his wife what this guy said above and offered her a divorce and would still take care of her and the house because he was tired of trying to be the perfect man and being treated like a failure.
Believe it or not his wife does not see the damage she has caused just from putting him on a pedastal and then flailing him for not being able to attain the goal that she set for him.
I feel for them both. TO ME they make a great couple, but I don't think that she is able to interpret male pain, which I think a lot of women don't understand.......
When your man is just deathly quiet around you, he may not be mad at you, you may have hurt him so many times he just shuts down toward you. Not because he hates you, he just has his guard up.
The games women play sometimes to keep the control they desire in their minds a lot of times damages the relationship. I have had to tell the woman above that when you make your man stop feeling that you respect him as a man, you are inviting trouble, it could be another woman, it could be him just leaving, it could be him just shutting down toward you altogether, and in some cases it has turned to violence as a man who feels as if he has been mentally emasculated at some point will reach the point where he will die if only to live for as second feeling masculine again. Even the weakest of men will reach this point and they will do anything and I MEAN ANYTHING including die to redeem themselves to themselves......
*Through preaching*
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EF MAX
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 02:11 |
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This thread is so on the note..
I wrote an article a while back called the F-Plan.. Guys I know where you are all coming from.. This is just an extract..
Fun, Friendship or Future: Without even thinking about it, most women have an "F-Plan". The plan is simple but it also operates on a very subconscious level. It is also very important for most women's safety and their sanity but in its simplisticity there is much sophistication and plenty of complication.
When embarking on a new relationship, a woman often operates in the following manner. She will, once dating or thinking about it with a potential partner, will bring to the table a check list of her expectations.
This mental list is often something that would have done the rounds with her girlfriends; it's a list that often demands a 100% repayment to its subscription, yet in reality, very few women can even hope to match their own on a like for like basis. Sadly for some all that can be brought to the table is their body or at least the promise of it.
ASK ANY WOMAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HER MAN, AND SHE WILL TELL YOU (EVEN HAVE A MENTAL LIST): ASK THE SAME WOMAN WHAT SHE WILL DO BESIDES SEX TO GET IT (MATCH HER LIST LIKE FOR LIKE) AND SHE'LL GO QUIET.
And if the man can see beyond that or dares to demand more than just her body, he is deemed as anything other than the man that he is; pity. Moving on from the checklist, which operates at a higher and more conscious subconscious level, are all the memories that a woman brings to her new potential situation.
Many women feel safest when they are amongst known factors, especially when it comes to dealing with men or types of men that they have dealt with before [a kind of safety in numbers type scenario].
We KNOW that - Women want love and affection. We KNOW that Women want to be treated well. We THINK that - If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.
The REALITY is - Most women want what every other and most women want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a woman with love and affection she'll often think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) or that you are after something (which may also be true) and she'll probably dump you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a loser or soft/weak, and that other women won't touch, she'll probably dump you.
Why? Because she wants to impress her friends with what a great catch she's made, and if she thinks that they wouldn't want you, then she doesn't want you either. It is the realisation of this sharp reality that often causes so many men to behave as badly as they do (bloody games). Because they know it works and they think they know just how most women will react to such a situation.
And here the cousin of the F-Plan, plays hell with a woman's understanding of men. You see, most women can not help playing games in relationships 9that is with themselves, other womena nd especially men). Often from all of that talking with their girlfriends the games are now disguised and buried in the subconscious and appear to be natural instincts.
Not only is a checklist available for subconscious cross reference but there is the cousin to deal with, for the cousin will bring with it all of its mates. We call these mate, history; or baggage.
All age does it is make men wise to these events and yes, I am like the thread topic,, often chosing to be single, just for the peace..
Last edited on Sunday June 17th, 2007 02:14 by EF MAX
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soulunique
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 08:22 |
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EF MAX wrote: This thread is so on the note..
ASK ANY WOMAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HER MAN, AND SHE WILL TELL YOU (EVEN HAVE A MENTAL LIST): ASK THE SAME WOMAN WHAT SHE WILL DO BESIDES SEX TO GET IT (MATCH HER LIST LIKE FOR LIKE) AND SHE'LL GO QUIET.
That used to be me when i was alot more less mature. i had a list of attributes that i wanted my potential patner to have but i failed to look at what i had to offer. then if i did meet one that gave me everything, i got suspicious mainly becuase of my insecurities. the solution for me was to leave the whole romantic thing and work on me.
the way i see it going back to the dating world a better person and a lot more mature means that i will have a better chance of finding what i want and offereing what i have.
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BIG L
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 10:55 |
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safetyblitz wrote: Its not a time machine dude. I think you are to young to understand where he is coming from.
i understood the article and the reason why this man prefers to be by himself after being in the dating game for so long. i said i don't need a time machine because we know the social structure in the past and we know the path society is going down in the future. i believe things will get much worse before any improvements in the relationship between the male & female populace. The wheel will come full circle in my opinion.
no rocket Science here.
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 11:18 |
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The traits of a woman are complimented by a mans lust for pu$$y - they couldn't them if we weren't we. As the old man says..he can see clearly now his lust for pu$$y has gone.
Shine Eye Gal Barrington Levy feat. Jah Thomas
a shine eye girl,a shine eye girl,
a shine eye girl,a shine eye girl,
a shine eye girl,a shine eye girl,
a shine eye girl,a shine eye girl,
Shine eye girl is a trouble to a man
she want uptown, she want downtown
she want fancy car, she want super star
tell me whey you really want
I say to tell me, I say to tell me,
tell me whey you want
you want uptown, you want downtown
you want fancy car, you want super star
you want black silk, you want wedding gown
now whey you really want
tell me whey you want, you still want more
you want husband, you want boy friend
you want some thirty dot, you want whole yard
you want soldier man, you want badman
now whey you really want
tell me whey you really want, now
tell me whey you really want, oh yeah
I say to tell me, I say to tell me,
tell me whey you want
you want Jah Thomas, you want Linval
you want their money, you want Barrington
now whey you really want
tell me whey you really want, gal
tell me whey you really want, oh yeah
I say fe tell me, I say fe tell me,
tell me whey you want
you want black silk, you want wedding gown
you want uptown, you want downtown
now whey you really want
you want gold ring, you want gold chain
you want everything, you want half town
now whey you really want
tell me whey you really want, girl
tell me whey you really want, girl
tell me whey you really want, girl
tell me whey you really want
Tell me, I say fe tell me,
tell me whey you want
________
Shine eye girl is a choble to a man
Shine eye girl is a choble to a man
a whey she want, oh lord, lord
a whey she want, oh lord
me say she tek her up town and she want wedding gown
tell her don't go now she wan' hide dung
tek her up to Pegasus she gal start fuss
tek her dung to style and she can't even wine
Foot fayva steel as she wan' spike heel
waist fayva wire as she wan' tight skirt
head fayva pillow as she wan' earring
inna different style
come mek me tell ya 'bout the shine eye girl
Said,
On your mark, you better get set
fret you afraid a you nuh get nuttin' yet
said, on your mark, you better get set
This-a drum an' bass mek you wine up your wais'
Reggae music whey de people dem wan'
sweet reggae music whey de people dem wan'
Shine eye girl is a choble to a man
She want uptown an' then she wan' dungtown
a whey she want, oh lord, lord
a whey she want, oh lord
She wan' uptown she wan' dungtown
carry her go to Pegasus she gal start fuss
carry her up to style and she can't even wine
carry her go to state and she can't pay the rate
carry her go to Carib an she wan' get married
whey she want, oh lord, lord
a whey she want, oh lord
Say
On your mark, you better get set
fret you afraid a you nuh get nuttin'¨yet
'ey!
On your mark, you better get set
fret you afraid a you nuh get nuttin'¨yet
a whey you want, oh lord, lord
a whey she want, oh lord
Shine eye girl is a choble to a man
She wan't ev'ry man she wan' babylon
wan' soldier man, she wan' babylon
wan' police man, she wan' bad man
a whey she want, oh lord, lord
a whey she want
a wha' me say
cunchy gal, come to town
a you nuh gwan like no clown
lord, a when me tek her to de hear one song
watch how de goddam gal sit dung
ey!
cunchy gal, come to town
a you nuh gwan like no clown
ey!
cunchy gal, come 'pon a bus
a you nuh mek no fuss
ey!
cunchy gal, come by car
a you a come from far
an' you a gwan like a super star
ey!
Shine eye girl is a choble to de worl'
Shine iei girl is a choble to de man
tek her up to Pegasus de gal start fuss
tek her up to style and she can't even wine
a whey she want, oh lord
a whey she want, oh lord
she say she wan' Jah Thomas
she say she wan' JamDung
a she a gwan like a clown
and she a move from town to town
and she a gwan like a clown
in a different style....Last edited on Sunday June 17th, 2007 11:19 by Incognito
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EF MAX
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 11:58 |
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soulunique wrote: EF MAX wrote: This thread is so on the note..
ASK ANY WOMAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HER MAN, AND SHE WILL TELL YOU (EVEN HAVE A MENTAL LIST): ASK THE SAME WOMAN WHAT SHE WILL DO BESIDES SEX TO GET IT (MATCH HER LIST LIKE FOR LIKE) AND SHE'LL GO QUIET.
That used to be me when i was alot more less mature. i had a list of attributes that i wanted my potential patner to have but i failed to look at what i had to offer. then if i did meet one that gave me everything, i got suspicious mainly becuase of my insecurities. the solution for me was to leave the whole romantic thing and work on me.
the way i see it going back to the dating world a better person and a lot more mature means that i will have a better chance of finding what i want and offereing what i have.
Age and maturity brings so much richness into the world of dating.. I fully understand your words and just wish there were more as wise as you.. Women do change, often for the better, but then this is all part of the mating game I guess..
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comfortandjoy
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 18:07 |
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EF MAX wrote: This thread is so on the note..
I wrote an article a while back called the F-Plan.. Guys I know where you are all coming from.. This is just an extract..
Fun, Friendship or Future: Without even thinking about it, most men have an "F-Plan". The plan is simple but it also operates on a very subconscious level. It is also very important for most men's safety and their sanity but in its simplisticity there is much sophistication and plenty of complication.
When embarking on a new relationship, a man often operates in the following manner. He will, once dating or thinking about it with a potential partner, will bring to the table a check list of his expectations.
This mental list is often something that would have done the rounds with his boys; (let's not pretend men don't discuss what they want in a woman at various stages throughout their lives) it's a list that often demands a 100% repayment to its subscription, yet in reality, very few men can even hope to match their own on a like for like basis eg. demanding that a woman be able to cook when they can't even boil an egg, demanding their woman be beautiful and in good shape, when they aren't particularly goodlooking and have a pot belly. Sadly for some all that can be brought to the table is their body or at least the promise of it, some can't even bring that and only have their cash to offer - others sadly have nothing but still have very high expectations of their woman.
ASK ANY MAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIS WOMAN, AND HE WILL TELL YOU (EVEN HAVE A MENTAL LIST): ASK THE SAME MAN WHAT HE WILL DO BESIDES SHELL OUT CASH IN AN ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS, OR BE ECONOMICAL WITH THE TRUTH TO GET IT (MATCH HIS LIST LIKE FOR LIKE) AND HE'LL GO QUIET.
And if the woman can see beyond that or dares to demand more than just his dick or his pay cheque, she is deemed as anything other than the woman that she is; pity. Moving on from the checklist, which operates at a higher and more conscious subconscious level, are all the memories that a man brings to his new potential situation.
Many men feel safest when they are amongst known factors, especially when it comes to dealing with women or types of women that they have dealt with before [a kind of safety in numbers type scenario].
We KNOW that - men want love and affection. We KNOW that men want to be treated well. We THINK that - If you treat a man well, he'll treat you well.
The REALITY is - Most men want what every other and most men want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a man with love and affection he'll often think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) or that you are after something (which may also be true) and he'll probably dump you or cheat on you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a fool or soft/weak, and that other men won't touch, he'll probably dump you or ill-treat you.
Why? Because he wants to impress his friends with what a great catch he's made, and if he thinks that they wouldn't want you, then he doesn't want you either. It is the realisation of this sharp reality that often causes so many women to behave as badly as they do (bloody games). Because they know it works and they think they know just how most men will react to such a situation.
And here the cousin of the F-Plan, plays hell with a man's understanding of women. You see, most men can not help playing games in relationships 9that is with themselves, other women and even men). Often from all of that talking with their boys the games are now disguised and buried in the subconscious and appear to be natural instincts.
Not only is a checklist available for subconscious cross reference but there is the cousin to deal with, for the cousin will bring with it all of its mates. We call these mate, history; or baggage.
All age does it is make men wise to these events and yes, I am like the thread topic,, often chosing to be single, just for the peace..
Efmax: Can you see how I have edited your post?  The italics are where I have added something of my own. Anyone would think men don't also have expectations or 'checklists' the way you write it, but as you can see - when I replace the word 'woman' or 'she' with 'man' or 'he' - it all still applies.
We humans are all the same in this regard, whether we are male or female. Why act like this being unreasonable and demanding in a relationship (or prior to one) is something women do to men?? IMO It's a ridiculous assertion!
There's nothing necessarily wrong with having expectations and even wanting things in a partner you don't yourself have, men as well as women sometimes do this. This helps to achieve balance and harmony in a relationship sometimes. A relationship with two argumentative/volatile people is doomed to failure. If you are argumentative it makes sense to seek out someone who is not, a more laidback person may be able to show (by example) the volatile one how to deal with disagreements or conflict more effectively - and not aggravate a situation. If you are hyperactive, you may want to be with someone who can teach you how to relax. If you are very serious, it might help to be with someone who knows how to have fun. If one person is very career driven and business minded, there's nothing wrong with the other person being more domesticated and family orientated. Those are just a few examples of where it can be beneficial to be with someone who has quite different qualities to yourself.
What I object to about topics like this is where they seem to encourage men (like you Efmax) to play the victim/act the martyr when it's really not like that in the real world. Within a relationship, insecurities, unrealistic expectations, selfishness, spite, mean-spiritedness, unwillingness to compromise, gameplaying etc etc, are ALL things that are totally unisex. These characteristics are NOT exclusive to women; and similarly, being the long-suffering, bending over backward spouse-pleaser is not something exclusive to men. This view that women are evil and men are saintly is pure foolishness.
Last edited on Sunday June 17th, 2007 18:08 by comfortandjoy
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the soul machine
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 19:34 |
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| all this crap while true. is mainly a western problem. yes the whole world is becoming westernized but stop stressing yourselves about these women period. there are other women from other countries you arnt yet sheeps. besides this is a modern problem, while women in the past still thought like this. they kept it all under control. its all about selfishness. that these women these days dont get it.
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safetyblitz
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 21:22 |
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BIG L wrote: safetyblitz wrote: Its not a time machine dude. I think you are to young to understand where he is coming from.
i understood the article and the reason why this man prefers to be by himself after being in the dating game for so long. i said i don't need a time machine because we know the social structure in the past and we know the path society is going down in the future. i believe things will get much worse before any improvements in the relationship between the male & female populace. The wheel will come full circle in my opinion.
no rocket Science here.
No rocket science, but I am assuming that DSP's man is in an American or resides in America and American women have been like this long before 50s........
He seems to be speaking of our women in general going all the way back to suffrage. Society just was wearing its blinders back then, but the same things happening today were happening back then. Including music just as demeaning as the gangster rap today, it just evolved from gut bucket blues to gangster rap....just like the selfishness of American men and women have seemed to morph....
The rules change, but the game remains the same....
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Gmahogany.
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Posted: Sunday June 17th, 2007 23:08 |
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comfortandjoy wrote: EF MAX wrote: This thread is so on the note..
I wrote an article a while back called the F-Plan.. Guys I know where you are all coming from.. This is just an extract..
Fun, Friendship or Future: Without even thinking about it, most men have an "F-Plan". The plan is simple but it also operates on a very subconscious level. It is also very important for most men's safety and their sanity but in its simplisticity there is much sophistication and plenty of complication.
When embarking on a new relationship, a man often operates in the following manner. He will, once dating or thinking about it with a potential partner, will bring to the table a check list of his expectations.
This mental list is often something that would have done the rounds with his boys; (let's not pretend men don't discuss what they want in a woman at various stages throughout their lives) it's a list that often demands a 100% repayment to its subscription, yet in reality, very few men can even hope to match their own on a like for like basis eg. demanding that a woman be able to cook when they can't even boil an egg, demanding their woman be beautiful and in good shape, when they aren't particularly goodlooking and have a pot belly. Sadly for some all that can be brought to the table is their body or at least the promise of it, some can't even bring that and only have their cash to offer - others sadly have nothing but still have very high expectations of their woman.
ASK ANY MAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIS WOMAN, AND HE WILL TELL YOU (EVEN HAVE A MENTAL LIST): ASK THE SAME MAN WHAT HE WILL DO BESIDES SHELL OUT CASH IN AN ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS, OR BE ECONOMICAL WITH THE TRUTH TO GET IT (MATCH HIS LIST LIKE FOR LIKE) AND HE'LL GO QUIET.
And if the woman can see beyond that or dares to demand more than just his dick or his pay cheque, she is deemed as anything other than the woman that she is; pity. Moving on from the checklist, which operates at a higher and more conscious subconscious level, are all the memories that a man brings to his new potential situation.
Many men feel safest when they are amongst known factors, especially when it comes to dealing with women or types of women that they have dealt with before [a kind of safety in numbers type scenario].
We KNOW that - men want love and affection. We KNOW that men want to be treated well. We THINK that - If you treat a man well, he'll treat you well.
The REALITY is - Most men want what every other and most men want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a man with love and affection he'll often think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) or that you are after something (which may also be true) and he'll probably dump you or cheat on you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a fool or soft/weak, and that other men won't touch, he'll probably dump you or ill-treat you.
Why? Because he wants to impress his friends with what a great catch he's made, and if he thinks that they wouldn't want you, then he doesn't want you either. It is the realisation of this sharp reality that often causes so many women to behave as badly as they do (bloody games). Because they know it works and they think they know just how most men will react to such a situation.
And here the cousin of the F-Plan, plays hell with a man's understanding of women. You see, most men can not help playing games in relationships 9that is with themselves, other women and even men). Often from all of that talking with their boys the games are now disguised and buried in the subconscious and appear to be natural instincts.
Not only is a checklist available for subconscious cross reference but there is the cousin to deal with, for the cousin will bring with it all of its mates. We call these mate, history; or baggage.
All age does it is make men wise to these events and yes, I am like the thread topic,, often chosing to be single, just for the peace..
Efmax: Can you see how I have edited your post? The italics are where I have added something of my own. Anyone would think men don't also have expectations or 'checklists' the way you write it, but as you can see - when I replace the word 'woman' or 'she' with 'man' or 'he' - it all still applies.
We humans are all the same in this regard, whether we are male or female. Why act like this being unreasonable and demanding in a relationship (or prior to one) is something women do to men?? IMO It's a ridiculous assertion!
There's nothing necessarily wrong with having expectations and even wanting things in a partner you don't yourself have, men as well as women sometimes do this. This helps to achieve balance and harmony in a relationship sometimes. A relationship with two argumentative/volatile people is doomed to failure. If you are argumentative it makes sense to seek out someone who is not, a more laidback person may be able to show (by example) the volatile one how to deal with disagreements or conflict more effectively - and not aggravate a situation. If you are hyperactive, you may want to be with someone who can teach you how to relax. If you are very serious, it might help to be with someone who knows how to have fun. If one person is very career driven and business minded, there's nothing wrong with the other person being more domesticated and family orientated. Those are just a few examples of where it can be beneficial to be with someone who has quite different qualities to yourself.
What I object to about topics like this is where they seem to encourage men (like you Efmax) to play the victim/act the martyr when it's really not like that in the real world. Within a relationship, insecurities, unrealistic expectations, selfishness, spite, mean-spiritedness, unwillingness to compromise, gameplaying etc etc, are ALL things that are totally unisex. These characteristics are NOT exclusive to women; and similarly, being the long-suffering, bending over backward spouse-pleaser is not something exclusive to men. This view that women are evil and men are saintly is pure foolishness.
On point C&J, though I think what you are saying may go right by many of the brothers here, cause it doesn't fit in with the ongoing need some have to cast themselves as poor,hapless,put apon,outschemed victims of the "weaker and less intelligent", yet scheming/manipulative/in possession of all the power and control, sex,lol. Beyond that, it's very difficult and for most people to view the world from any other angle/vantage point, than their own. In other words, since most men don't deal with men romantically, they assume that the negative traits they find among the women they deal with, are UNIQUE to women. It never occurs to them that these traits/behaviors are also found in men(within romantic relationships, not something they would find out from hanging with their boys,lol), and since most have never been in a romantic relationship with another man, they would not be in a position to know, or likely to care, for that matter.
Now I HAVE heard men who DO date men romantically say that dealing with men is much easier and less complicated than dealing with women, but I've also heard that dealing with women romantically is easier and devoid of AS much game playing, from women who deal with women, sexually. At the same time, there are those among the gay population who also have sob stories;leading me to conclude that if you plan on dealing with HUMANS, romantically/sexually,prepare for some bullsh*t/stress/drama,lol. Being alone and wanting it that way is also an option that some folks of BOTH genders are also starting to opt for. LIfe is full of choices.
Last edited on Sunday June 17th, 2007 23:18 by Gmahogany.
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