| Author | |
|---|
milesdavis
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday November 8th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 632 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 01:01 |
|
Ok, I got asked today by this sista where are the good men. Damn! I dont know how many times women ask this question and i think its about time they narrow down their shoping list and maybe they might have passed the good man.
Its embarassing mourning that you cant find a good man while you know deep down that he probably works at your corner shop
How about being a bit realistic with that shopping list of yours?
Last edited on Wednesday June 6th, 2007 11:26 by milesdavis
____________________
"For the Haitian declaration of independence, we should use a white man's skin for parchment, his skull for an inkwell, his blood for ink, and a bayonet for a pen!" -Boisrond-Tonnerre
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Incognito
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3479 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 06:48 |
|
Hmmm...the perspective sounds like these good brothas are some dumb azz men just waiting for these all endearing ladies to walk by shaking their azz...as if these brothas don't have prerequisites and preferences of their own. If it's a question of compatability then good is relative. For the record, good men don't see you when you dress naked
____________________
I live satisfied that my enemies know I am right!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
soulunique
Villager
| Joined: | Thursday July 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 135 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 07:19 |
|
why should a good man want a woman that hasn't realised she's a queen?
Don't ask for qualities you don't possess, can't develop and most of all can't give.
Everyone should look at what they have to offer before making their lists. for exam,ple if you want physical attributes make sure your hot to trott your damn self and uf its personality make sure ure culturvated.
by the way, i'm female
soul
____________________
culturally aware, spiritually grounded and beautifully unique
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Incognito
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3479 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 08:41 |
|
soulunique - they say you never know what you have til it's gone then likewise you never know what you've got til you get it.
Agree with your comments but on top of them I would like to introduce dynamism and the concept of opposites attracting. Some people have many moods and the concept of good can get warped overtime - indeed I was seen as good man until I divorced the wife...and up until that point, the wotliss men who now have her back are seen as good.
Someone asked the question if someone was perfect in every other way, what is the one thing that could still put you off them. For me that is laziness...even if I'm lazy myself...it's just a quality I can't stand in a woman...don't care how big her azz is. And let's not forget, it goes both ways, the women who meet my qualities does not automatically mean I meet theirs...and she is not a bad person because of this.
People need to understand the difference between good and compatibility. I've played with a couple of fillies who will tell you I'm a good man but we still had to go our separate ways because I wasn't willing to eat them out. Am I still a good man? maybe so, but I bet those women will probably settle for a bit of rough if they can sit on his face. But yeah, likewise, met women who have been oraled all their lives yet say it no longer matters, they'd rather have me....but here I just seem to have a problem with their long list of ex's
Good can only be good until something better comes along or a new experience encountered. Good in many instances is simply contrast.
Last edited on Wednesday June 6th, 2007 09:15 by Incognito
____________________
I live satisfied that my enemies know I am right!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Melissa
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 18th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1052 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 12:26 |
|
The women who usually ask that question have no idea of what they are looking for in a man away from the physical and material.
I.E Good = Good Looking, Good Car, Good Job, Good amount of money in the bank etc,
When for some Good education and Good Heart and Good cultural awareness is key.
A combination of both would be nice, and is realistic enough in the UK (As i get older i'm beginning to realise that there are many of you out there!)
Ask most UK women under 30 if they would want a man with a good heart or good looks they'll say good looks 99.9% of the time.
One persons trash is another's treasure!
Last edited on Wednesday June 6th, 2007 12:29 by Melissa
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Prince Hakeem
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 14:03 |
|
milesdavis wrote: Ok, I got asked today by this sista where are the good men. Damn! I dont know how many times women ask this question and i think its about time they narrow down their shoping list and maybe they might have passed the good man.
Its embarassing mourning that you cant find a good man while you know deep down that he probably works at your corner shop
How about being a bit realistic with that shopping list of yours?
Sometimes you can chat fart, but on this occasion I must say......
I hear this nonsense sometimes but to be honest, I think many who say this are more like parrots repeating what they hear in anti African male films and from their disgruntled friends as opposed to their own real life experiences.
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Incognito
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3479 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 14:51 |
|
prince H - disgruntled friends...hmm...try disgruntled mums
____________________
I live satisfied that my enemies know I am right!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Prince Hakeem
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 17:14 |
|
Incognito wrote: prince H - disgruntled friends...hmm...try disgruntled mums
Especially that!
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
blessingfromgod
Villager
| Joined: | Thursday November 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 906 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 18:43 |
|
Melissa wrote: The women who usually ask that question have no idea of what they are looking for in a man away from the physical and material. So when a good man comes along they dont recognise him!
I.E Good = Good Looking, Good Car, Good Job, Good amount of money in the bank etc,
When for some Good education and Good Heart and Good cultural awareness is key.
A combination of both would be nice, and is realistic enough in the UK (As i get older i'm beginning to realise that there are many of you out there!)
Ask most UK women under 30 if they would want a man with a good heart or good looks they'll say good looks 99.9% of the time.
One persons trash is another's treasure!
I totally agree with the above.
____________________
"Those who come in LOVE will stay"
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Miss Nellia
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday August 13th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1266 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 18:44 |
|
99.9% of women under 30 would rather a good looking man to a man with a good heart?????  How shallow is that.... but I can believe that this is true.
The term "good" man or "good" woman is soooo open to interpretation and such a general term who is to know what the individual is looking for... and I doubt they even know themselves..... without clear definition it seems a nonsense to me.
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
The Watcher
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 11th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 11353 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 18:46 |
|
Miss Nellia wrote: 99.9% of women under 30 would rather a good looking man to a man with a good heart????? How shallow is that.... but I can believe that this is true.
The term "good" man or "good" woman is soooo open to interpretation and such a general term who is to know what the individual is looking for... and I doubt they even know themselves..... without clear definition it seems a nonsense to me.
I don't think so. I often see pretty chicks with fat or skinny ugly scruffy looking dudes and superficially get irritated briefly lol. I rarely see the reverse scenario
____________________
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I...
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Miss Nellia
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday August 13th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1266 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 18:51 |
|
The Watcher wrote:
I don't think so. I often see pretty chicks with fat or skinny ugly scruffy looking dudes and superficially get irritated briefly lol. I rarely see the reverse scenario
Maybe they're the over 30s lol
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
comfortandjoy
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday February 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 139 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 19:14 |
|
Miss Nellia wrote: 99.9% of women under 30 would rather a good looking man to a man with a good heart????? How shallow is that.... but I can believe that this is true.
The term "good" man or "good" woman is soooo open to interpretation and such a general term who is to know what the individual is looking for... and I doubt they even know themselves..... without clear definition it seems a nonsense to me.
Exactly. I don't know why people read so much into it and get so worked up. All it really means is the person saying it is single, lonely and frustrated about their situation. btw men say it just as much as women do, in my experience.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
milesdavis
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday November 8th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 632 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday June 6th, 2007 22:54 |
|
Dont get me wrong,there's nothing wrong with being picky, If you want a man that's taller than you AND Looks like those you see on MTV, that's fine. But I know sistas that literally have a whole list of criteria WRITTEN DOWN on paper that a potential man must meet
Most of those criteria are things that a man CANNOT control such as height, eye color, hair, skin tone, etc.I also find it funny that most of these criteria get thrown out immediately if a brotha with lot's of money happens to come around
So what's really going on??? 
But at the same time us brothas are seemingly NOT allowed by sistas to also be picky,We're not allowed to have a preference for skin tone, we get vilified if we pass up sistas with kids, we're not allowed to pass up big girls, we're weak and less of a man if we dismiss "strong and independent women". Like the Mary J song goes, we're just supposed to take a girl "As I Am", with flaws and all
thats not fair,is it? ohhh and most of them have a thing about a MAN being HONEST but the truth is most of then cannot handle HONESTY or a man being HONEST
btw
I am not saying that majority are like this but most are
____________________
"For the Haitian declaration of independence, we should use a white man's skin for parchment, his skull for an inkwell, his blood for ink, and a bayonet for a pen!" -Boisrond-Tonnerre
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Incognito
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3479 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 06:09 |
|
milesdavis wrote: I am not saying that majority are like this but most are
Now that's a paradoxical statement if I ever heard one
There are women so intent on being equal to men they have forgotten they are women. I had one I used to pull up on certain things and she'd reply but you do that too (which in many cases was a lie), and I'm like, but you're a woman.
Watch out for these, in their competitive stupor they'd go as far as standing up to use the toilet and if you complain about them wetting the seat or leaving it up they'll say but you do it too. Why can't I find a good man?.....maybe it's because you ARE a man!
Know your class, I come from the school where men are men and women are women. Todays teeny boppers have their own idea of what womanhood is and still fail to see the irony that most of their opinions are based on what they believe man has previously defined. If I never know better, instead of recognising their gift in life, they believe giving birth, being maternal. hygienic and nurturing are burdens bestowed upon them by a chauvenistic man....whose only contribution to the world is money and semen
On the flip side too many men have become effeminate....all in the yard washing their womans panty and ting
I know this African militant who in his circles is down as a good man...and he hasn't even got a CV. I think he's on his childrens school board or something. Guess it's horses for courses
Last edited on Thursday June 7th, 2007 07:29 by Incognito
____________________
I live satisfied that my enemies know I am right!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Peacemaker
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday May 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | ><_>< |
| Posts: | 3892 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 10:27 |
|
milesdavis wrote: Ok, I got asked today by this sista where are the good men. Damn! I dont know how many times women ask this question and i think its about time they narrow down their shoping list and maybe they might have passed the good man.
Its embarassing mourning that you cant find a good man while you know deep down that he probably works at your corner shop
How about being a bit realistic with that shopping list of yours?
The men – what’s left of them -- are in hiding, of course. That’s what any refugee population does when war is made on it, and its homeland is laid to Waste.
Worth considering.
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
chi
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday June 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1809 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 11:42 |
|
| Seriously....there are MANY MANY gooooood men out there, it doesn't mean you will have a chemistry with them that goes beyond anything platonic, but most of the men I know have soooo many good qualities.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Melissa
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday May 18th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1052 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 12:32 |
|
Miss Nellia wrote: 99.9% of women under 30 would rather a good looking man to a man with a good heart????? How shallow is that.... but I can believe that this is true.
Yes..........maybe that was a slight exaggeration!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Prince Hakeem
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 12:33 |
|
Incognito wrote: Watch out for these, in their competitive stupor they'd go as far as standing up to use the toilet and if you complain about them wetting the seat or leaving it up they'll say but you do it too.
I remember once having a conversation with this woman who thought I was being sexist because I said female body builders look horrid and unnatural. I asked her what she thought of men who dress in women's underwear and wear makeup and she got the message.
____________________
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Abissinia
Villager
| Joined: | Friday April 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 4576 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 13:22 |
|
Argh argh argh
Seriously I am so f**king tired of people telling black women to expect less (btw coltrane it's not a personal attack on you). Off course there are some ladies (including myself) who do/did need to tone it down and believe it or not most will do when the time is right and that usually is when they are ready for a real relationship which by then they have worked out the most important attributes they are looking for in a partner.
Still everyone is entitled to want what they want no matter how superficial, how unrealistic it may be, and are also entitled to moan about it just as you are entitled to walk away from such conversations. Obviously if the females are still single after a certain age and there are many so called shelf stacker single men out there that just means the ladies have chosen to remain single than to go for what you are suggesting which is below expectation.
Seriously f**k that…. I have witnessed many women settle for less and become bitter and loose their self esteem in the process because not just have this women settled for less than what they want they have also told themselves that they can’t cope alone and or they simply have given up hope of ever finding the one that they “believe� is their ideal “good man�. Personally loosing hope or settling are the two worst things that can happen to a human being not just in terms of finding love but also when it comes to every aspects of your life be it career, physical appearance, anything that requires a little patience, a little hard work and a lot of faith.
Without hope, with out faith what’s the point?
____________________
I am powerful and i am loved.
I am powerful and i am loving.
I am powerful and i love it!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Kunjufu
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 14:23 |
|
To be honest i feel some serious double standards going on here, correct me if i'm wrong but how long ago was it, that there was a thread posted by a man..questioning whether any woman with children was worth dating?
____________________
African heart, African mind
    Â
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
milesdavis
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday November 8th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 632 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 14:36 |
|
Abissinia wrote: Argh argh argh
Seriously I am so f**king tired of people telling black women to expect less (btw coltrane it's not a personal attack on you). Off course there are some ladies (including myself) who do/did need to tone it down and believe it or not most will do when the time is right and that usually is when they are ready for a real relationship which by then they have worked out the most important attributes they are looking for in a partner.
Still everyone is entitled to want what they want no matter how superficial, how unrealistic it may be, and are also entitled to moan about it just as you are entitled to walk away from such conversations. Obviously if the females are still single after a certain age and there are many so called shelf stacker single men out there that just means the ladies have chosen to remain single than to go for what you are suggesting which is below expectation.
Seriously f**k that…. I have witnessed many women settle for less and become bitter and loose their self esteem in the process because not just have this women settled for less than what they want they have also told themselves that they can’t cope alone and or they simply have given up hope of ever finding the one that they “believe� is their ideal “good man�. Personally loosing hope or settling are the two worst things that can happen to a human being not just in terms of finding love but also when it comes to every aspects of your life be it career, physical appearance, anything that requires a little patience, a little hard work and a lot of faith.
Without hope, with out faith what’s the point?
Thats an interesting observation.
But you know there is a differebnce btn PICKY vs. SELECTIVE.In my book i think there is nothing with selection. Everyone has preferences. Some men like big women, some men like small women. That's a matter of choice. We all have our physical preferences such as height/weight dark/light and you will never hear me complain about that regarding peoples choices. That's only natural. But being picky is TOTALLY different.
However, I will give you another example of a fine ass woman i know who is 33 and single. Here is an example of again, being picky. She will not date a man unless he has green eyes. Now you tell me, is this being selective or picky?
And you know what? most want HONESTY but the truth is majority cant hadle that and when ever these subjects occur what i would normally do is look them dead in the eyes and ask them stuff like; Are you ready right now to be down with me in a serious committed relationship? Can you handle a hard working honest brother that is down for you until the end of time? Can we worship each other until we die? Can we work together through blood sweat and tears to build our empire? Will you be there for me in tough times when I might cry and I be there for you to wipe those tears when it gets rough? If so honor me by taking my hand being my woman and lets begin this courtship that would hopefully if I'm worthy end in the journey of love
Guess how they would react? They either bust up laughing or walk away upset. Either way they dont complain when they see me walking or driving by bypassing the club for the opera. The whole point is some of these sisters you cannot talk that deep to them. it's just too much for them ...of course you come across as someone that would handle those question....
____________________
"For the Haitian declaration of independence, we should use a white man's skin for parchment, his skull for an inkwell, his blood for ink, and a bayonet for a pen!" -Boisrond-Tonnerre
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Abissinia
Villager
| Joined: | Friday April 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 4576 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 14:42 |
|
Kunjufu wrote:
To be honest i feel some serious double standards going on here, correct me if i'm wrong but how long ago was it, that there was a thread posted by a man..questioning whether any woman with children was worth dating?
It's all part of the process to diminish black women's self esteem.
Childless - Don't expect too much
With Child - Be thankful that "a penis" wants you.
Over weight and with child - You want what?
f**ked up.... i really feel sorry for young black girls, there is some serious attempt to destroy the self worth of black females as desirable women and i truly hope parents especially mums are taking extra care of the little girls.
Last edited on Thursday June 7th, 2007 14:47 by Abissinia
____________________
I am powerful and i am loved.
I am powerful and i am loving.
I am powerful and i love it!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Abissinia
Villager
| Joined: | Friday April 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 4576 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday June 7th, 2007 14:57 |
|
|
