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yaya
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 17:44 |
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What is it about women who walk out on a relationship because of bad situations, yet they are still tripping about the man who they were once involved with?
How sure are these women in such situations to be proclaiming themselves as the only woman who could love that man and no-one else could love him like she could.
I know there are always different situatons that lead to these kind of statements being made.
However if you have decided to leave why make such threats or statements, is it an attempt to make the man see that he cannot do better than you?
Or is it the womans way of trying to make the man see his faults?
I am ware that in many situations that women / men are generally expressing themselves by letting the other partner invovled understand the level of their love by saying "No - one else can love you like I can" but I also wanted to look at things from a different prospective.
If the man can't see for himself that you were a good lover then why stress yourself emotionally or even mentally because if he does not turn around and realize your worth, thats when as a woman you will start trippin and asking yourself 101 questions, do you really need all that?
Its only then that you may realize that the man you thought you knew has become a total stranger, that you never really knew him.
I think this also relates to men...so......
what do you think?
 Last edited on Tuesday May 15th, 2007 17:46 by yaya
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Incognito
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 20:09 |
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If a relationship is stressful you're in the wrong one...move on and stop fretting about loneliness
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blessingfromgod
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 21:13 |
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Yaya, I can feel the amount of stress you are going through just by reading your thread...girl take it easy! Your right, easier said than done but...No need for the wahala!
Your divine mate is seeking you all you have to do is be you. Let it Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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yaya
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 21:50 |
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OMG people!!! i'm just a writer but thanks for the feedback, I'm not going through this particular situation right now, I just wanted to share whats on my mind with you all *maybe i think too deep about things, too much time on my hands LMAO*, thats not to say i have not experienced bad situations in relationships but I just wanted to share thats all! All feed back and comments are welcome. X
Stay fabulous people!
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Afriki
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 22:56 |
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yaya, I was that woman you are describing. In my case he tried to trivialize my reasons for leaving, saying he did everything and was all of these things to me...on top of that he was a FLIRT and a sucker for a pretty face. Not saying he cheated on me ever, but i'd be naive to say it wasn't a possibility he could have been "inappropriate" w/someone else.
anyways, I defended myself by letting him know that all of these "aquaintances (male and female) and so-called friends that he did anything and everything for (even at the expense of breaking promises to me just to keep his circle happy w/him) were NEVER really there for him (and they weren't. I was either the first person he called, or the only one that responded after asking previous people). Also, it was not just me he treated like this, He treated everyone who truly cared about him (his best friends, me, his own mother) this way.I swear it was like we were the old "toys" lol. I don't know why (maybe it was out of anger, hurt) but I NEEDED for him to understand that I did those things for him because I was a good, caring person who expected the same respect in return and because I LOVED him, NOT b/c he was entitled to it, which is what he did think, and which explains why he took me for granted.
the boy still calls me 30x a week (a few times 30x in one night) crying for me, needing to be picked up from somewhere, wanting a dinner companion, needing someone to talk to about stress, work, life, etc etc. Does this make me happy? no, I don't like to see someone I cared about in pain. But it lets me rest in peace with my decision to leave and validates the reason for my decision to leave....I deserved better. Especially knowing that he realizes I gave more than these random little "females" he became so enamoured w/ and the male drinking buddy friends he made at work and parties ever would in such a relationship and that he finally understood that I was fricken great!
ETA: I'm not one of those oh-u-were-out-w/your-boys-again type girls, but to continually have long-standing promises to me broken by impromptu plans made w/ someone he met at party a week ago just because he's trying to be an all-around type of guy and impress everyone? He became so caught up in doing and sucking up to people who could give 2 sh*ts about him as a person (other than he was fun to go out w/) that he decided he no longer had to impress me b/c he already had me. well he learned in the end that it's not enough just to AQUIRE someone you have to be able to keep them and earn your keep as well.
and I am still friends with this person, but it was important to me, first and formost as a FRIEND that he geniunely recognized his mistake so that he could be properly forgiven, I could no longer be solely held responsible for the breakup, and we could both move on.
Last edited on Tuesday May 15th, 2007 23:25 by Afriki
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DSP
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Posted: Monday May 21st, 2007 15:05 |
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Sometimes or alot of times people don't match up well. Everyone has flaws and some match ups make people better, some make people worse and some don't do anything. It's a learning process and sometimes we need to listen to the inner voice that says 'Don't Do It'.
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specialle
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Posted: Friday May 25th, 2007 06:35 |
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@yaya i think its simple
the woman feels as though no one can love him as much as she did or does. it not a threat to say you will never get another woman, or to see his flaws. Its about herself and her reality, which makes her statement argueable true.
Then the dependence is on his feelings, would he feel loved more by another woman, etc....
what ever is said in the heat is from our subconscious, which determines what we believe and ourown reality
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Bea
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Posted: Friday May 25th, 2007 08:14 |
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Problems with:
work, education, relationships, health, discrimination..?
To work towards resolving these contact Bea at:
Nia Counselling Service
Tel/fax: 020 8803 6366
or:
Email: nia_counselling@msn.com
Last edited on Tuesday June 12th, 2007 08:01 by Bea
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