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girl friday
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 17:49 |
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Last edited on Thursday May 17th, 2007 09:52 by girl friday
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shesheshe
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 18:52 |
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Wow is this true? You learn something new every day. I guess thisis why my friends daughter's dad refuses to bath her and gets someone else to do it.
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Incognito
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 19:12 |
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Heard about men get erections when playing with their boys. Proof that a hood has it's own brain, doesn't necessarily reflect the mind...indeed I'm sure the men in all cases are just as surprised.
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Miss Nellia
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 19:24 |
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Dunno if I buy that theory for a split second, seems like an excuse to justify what is a nasty unnatural act.
As a child my father never bathed me, my mum did it all, my dad couldnt be bothered with the hands on aspect of child raising... No bottle feeding, no nappy changing, no putting to bed etc.
I never had a second thought of my partner bathing any furute kids we have... 
Think maybe your colleague had a bad one.... most men I am sure don't have this problem. Hope so anyway.
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safetyblitz
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 20:02 |
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It sounds like something that happened in her child hood that she is bringing into her relationship with her husband.
I doubt that this guy was thinking of getting a piece of his daughter. Sometimes guys get wooders for no explainable reason at all......
@shesheshe
It is hard for most men to wash their daughters because we always teach them that NO MAN should touch them in certain places...
Even though you all stop listening to us once you get past the age of 18 (lalalala I am not listening...) we still like to think in our dream world that NO MAN (LALALALALA STILL NOT LISTENING!!!!) has ever touched but us when we had to change your pamper because mom was not around and that any baby you have came because of immaculate conception.....
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blessingfromgod
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 20:06 |
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| Interesting read Girlfriday. Wow, I dont know what to say I can understand the womans reaction though, and to think he will not even discuss it. Wow.
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Dada
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 20:21 |
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| It would seem that more incestous and barbaric activity went on in that womans mind, than anything that actually went on in that bath room.
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Prince Hakeem
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 20:53 |
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girl friday wrote: A colleague of mine who's been seemingly happily married for three years, turned up at work announcing she's leaving her husband. Apparently he was bathing their four year old daughter and she walked in on them and saw he had an erection. She couldn't believe what she saw so quickley reached out to touch it and sure enough...it was a boner!
She told him to get out and an argument errupted. When the police arrived the policeman spkoe to them seperately and told her that all men get errections for various reasons: a scent, a touch....anything. It doesn't mean it was sexual. My colleague, still finding it hard to accept this was sent to see a sex therapist who told her that 75% of men with daughters, at one time or another experiences an 'arousal' from everyday interaction with their child. Washing her, toilet training or just playing. (Lawd a god!) She told her that its not widely documented because its such a taboo subject, people just do not talk about it. Men will never admit to it and some women never notice it. Of the ones that do, some choose to turn a blind eye, whilst other blow a fuse. Like her. It doesn't mean that man will go on to abuse that child. Yes, some do...most most exercise self control. She explained that most sexually attive men when faced with seeing or touching a female vagina, adult or childs, cannot help their body's natrual reaction. Can you believe it!! Some men who cannot control themselves develop incestuous relationships. How else do you think these relationships come about?
My advice to my colleague was to sit down and talk to her man. Explain her fears and see if they can work this out......somehow. Problem is the guy won't talk about it. He says its all in her imagination. If he's in such strong denial then maybe he really isn't to be trusted.
Just wondering what you women with daughters think about it. And please.....before you start shoutin "my man would never or has never...", do you really know for sure? Does he bath her, take her to the bathroom and do you have your hand down his shorts 24hrs each day checking?
The colleague sounds like she's got issues for days.
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comfortandjoy
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 21:03 |
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Maybe the woman has got it wrong and the father is innocent of any wrong thinking or doing. Not all erections are caused by sexual arousal so you cannot know for sure what caused this man's erection. I would imagine most women would want to give their child's father the benefit of the doubt.
On the other hand, people would be saying the mother was irresponsible/careless/wotless/wicked etc etc if it did turn out that the father was a paedophile - and she revealed that she had noticed he had an erection while bathing the child but thought nothing of it and put it to the back of her mind.
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Incognito
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 21:05 |
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Miss Nellia wrote: As a child my father never bathed me, my mum did it all, my dad couldnt be bothered with the hands on aspect of child raising... No bottle feeding, no nappy changing, no putting to bed etc.
I never had a second thought of my partner bathing any furute kids we have...
Miss Nellia - I find this quite interesting as it's a point that seems to be quite misunderstood by feminists and their maternal/paternal quest for equality.
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Soulstarr
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Posted: Monday May 14th, 2007 21:07 |
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Prince Hakeem wrote:
The colleague sounds like she's got issues for days.
don't mince your words princey. say whats really on your mind why don't ya! 
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girl friday
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 08:32 |
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| .......... Last edited on Thursday May 17th, 2007 09:42 by girl friday
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theonethatstands
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 09:58 |
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This is an interesting topic. As you say incest is a social taboo and so many people prefer to blame the woman or the child, or whatever. I can tell you I have never had an erection in my life in dealing with a child, of course you can get one at any time, but unless you are a teenager, you generally get one either in the morning, or due to sexual arousal. I am interested in the data from the 75% figure. Is it self reported or based on case studies.
Interestingly, when most people talk about paedophiles, they have an image different to the general reality. The vast majority of the people who are sexually abused know their abuser, additionally most sexual abuse takes place in the family. Some cultures also vary. I read a study that claimed that Japan had the highest rate of Mother-son incest in the world, whilst arab cultures also had very high rates of female sexual abuse
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DSP
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 14:34 |
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I'm wondering where they get that 75% from. I highly doubt that. In Africa brothers bathe their little sisters, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, bathe their younger relatives, and there are not sexual thoughts. Plenty girls grow up talking about how their grandfather, big brother, or uncle bathed them with NO stories of anything sexual. Maybe it's a side effect of the social fabric of the west, kind of like a condidtioning.. like if you listen to jazz while cutting the grass, everytime you here jazz it reminds you of cutting the grass. Maybe the hypersexual mindset conditions some peoples bodily functions, reflexes, and subconcious. I don't know I'm just theorizing.
Last edited on Tuesday May 15th, 2007 14:36 by DSP
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Incognito
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 16:05 |
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When I read this thread, I had an inklin that the author would be thinking that the men would be defensive and judgemental........so no surprises there!
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Sooofresh
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 16:37 |
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hmmmmmm
sorry, but that is bollox, you are telling me bathing a 4 yr old girl and a man gets a bonner is an involuntary reaction, so if a woman gets all wet while bathing her son!...oh pls, another diguised way of protecting pedos.
my dad feed us, bathed us, played with us....because he is a dad and is doing things dads do.....barf i can't even contemplate!
sorry involuntary erections are casued when engaging in an adrenalin rush situation ie paragliding, car chase...or women  .....but bathing a kid?
pah!
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Incognito
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 17:00 |
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hmmm..involuntary reaction?....I'll take the zero!
Last edited on Tuesday May 15th, 2007 17:01 by Incognito
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Melissa
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 18:10 |
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Nah i don't buy that theory either - or the 75% thing.
My Dad bathed me, i sat on his lap etc throughout my childhood and he never got a boner! WTF! 
I think she was right to dash him out esp as he didn't want to talk about it.
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Rockette
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 18:10 |
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DSP wrote: I'm wondering where they get that 75% from. I highly doubt that. In Africa brothers bathe their little sisters, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, bathe their younger relatives, and there are not sexual thoughts. Plenty girls grow up talking about how their grandfather, big brother, or uncle bathed them with NO stories of anything sexual. Maybe it's a side effect of the social fabric of the west, kind of like a condidtioning.. like if you listen to jazz while cutting the grass, everytime you here jazz it reminds you of cutting the grass. Maybe the hypersexual mindset conditions some peoples bodily functions, reflexes, and subconcious. I don't know I'm just theorizing.
Actually it's quite prevalent in Africa and many Africans do not understand why others bury their heads in the sand over this issue.
http://ipsnews.net/alert/yok2012a.html
In Africa, there are more children who are victims of incest, rape and forced early marriage than trapped in the sex industry, they said during the four-day Second World Congress against Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children that ended Thursday.
This is also true of children abused sexually on the streets, in educational settings and after being kidnapped, these officials pointed out, but added that the scale of such abuse varies from country to country.
''We have child prostitution, yet the larger number of children are sexually abused in non-commercial situations, be it in schools, at home, due to early marriage and when they are domestic workers,'' said Bruce Miriam Aribot, Guinea's minister of social welfare, women and child protection.
''It has been an unspoken phenomenon in Africa for years, a taboo subject, because it could lead to a clash between local culture and the law,'' Aribot told IPS. ''There is no money involved in such abuse, so it is incorrect to call it commercial sexual exploitation of children. It is a broader form of child sex abuse.''
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chi
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 18:16 |
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Yep child abuse in all its forms goes on in every society, its just less talked about in some places thats all.
.....as far as the topic, I feel a bit of vomit coming up the back of my throat.
Last edited on Tuesday May 15th, 2007 18:17 by chi
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Jim999
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 18:45 |
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Girl Friday;
You are ill: your story is a total fabrication. The women that believed you, need to get themselves checked out. I've got two.
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 19:02 |
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| KMT.
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Prince Hakeem
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 19:05 |
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girl friday wrote: When I started this thread I had an inkling that the men would be defensive and judgemental........so no surprises there!
Like who? 
Anyway stop making up bullsh*t stories to get attention. You probably got this from some bluefoot teen magazine or something.
You and your 'colleague' are more Looney Tunes than Bugs, Daffy, Tweety Bird, and the rest ah dem man deh.
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DSP
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 19:53 |
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Let's NOT mix issues and turn this into a child prostitution, sexual slavery, etc...
..I highly doubt men getting an erection from their daughters is prevalent.
I hate when people change the focus of a topic.
Rockette wrote: DSP wrote: I'm wondering where they get that 75% from. I highly doubt that. In Africa brothers bathe their little sisters, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, bathe their younger relatives, and there are not sexual thoughts. Plenty girls grow up talking about how their grandfather, big brother, or uncle bathed them with NO stories of anything sexual. Maybe it's a side effect of the social fabric of the west, kind of like a condidtioning.. like if you listen to jazz while cutting the grass, everytime you here jazz it reminds you of cutting the grass. Maybe the hypersexual mindset conditions some peoples bodily functions, reflexes, and subconcious. I don't know I'm just theorizing.
Actually it's quite prevalent in Africa and many Africans do not understand why others bury their heads in the sand over this issue.
http://ipsnews.net/alert/yok2012a.html
In Africa, there are more children who are victims of incest, rape and forced early marriage than trapped in the sex industry, they said during the four-day Second World Congress against Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children that ended Thursday.
This is also true of children abused sexually on the streets, in educational settings and after being kidnapped, these officials pointed out, but added that the scale of such abuse varies from country to country.
''We have child prostitution, yet the larger number of children are sexually abused in non-commercial situations, be it in schools, at home, due to early marriage and when they are domestic workers,'' said Bruce Miriam Aribot, Guinea's minister of social welfare, women and child protection.
''It has been an unspoken phenomenon in Africa for years, a taboo subject, because it could lead to a clash between local culture and the law,'' Aribot told IPS. ''There is no money involved in such abuse, so it is incorrect to call it commercial sexual exploitation of children. It is a broader form of child sex abuse.''
Last edited on Tuesday May 15th, 2007 19:54 by DSP
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The Watcher
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 20:01 |
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I'm guessing this person never had a father and the mother bad mouthed men as a general rule around the house. Or was sadly perhaps an abused person themselves. Such odd fantasys... such readiness to believe the extreme as a norm aren't born out of nowhere.
Most people on hearing the wild rantings of their friend's therapist second hand would dismiss or at least apply their own scrutiny to something so extraordinary, not simply swallow it wholesale and regurgiate with relish.
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Posted: Tuesday May 15th, 2007 20:58 |
