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Le Moor
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 17:29 |
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Having a conversation this week-end, sat in conservatory, with friends food and drink, and putting the world to rights as you do.
As per usual the conversation of dating wasnt far from the agenda. Then the girls concluded that the trend now is that the black Britsh women is now looking beyond the black British man, and dating either continental African or Caribbean man. Reason, well whole heap of the usual but to summarise, they arent as wotless as us. 
Last edited on Monday April 2nd, 2007 20:49 by Le Moor
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lizzybcoo
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 17:38 |
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| I guess they just feel like black is black no matter where it is.
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blessingfromgod
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 19:15 |
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NO ...Not me...I will hang on in there...what ever it takes...I still believe in my Black British Brother... Lol. No really, we all haven't given up..............................yet....................
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 19:36 |
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| Well Le moor..maybe they have a point..because if the youths that I've seen are the standard now, bwoy If i was a woman I'd run a mile too...
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blessingfromgod
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 19:52 |
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also I'm not sure about giving them up in favour of continental African or Caribbean men! From what I have heard it's like the lesser of two evils... British Black men as we already know hare made their preferences know with non Black women...and then you have to be very careful that your chosen African/Caribbean man is not using you for stay I know many friends who have been duped this way...get treated like the queen you are...only to find out that half way down the line, 'your' man has a well established family back home whom he wants to bring over...after you have had a child or two for him...
I met a guy from Barbados...had to give him his P45 afer about 2 weeks...Alarm bells would not let me rest.
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 20:01 |
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I think it runs both ways. Plenty man extol the virtues of carribean and African women/ lesss weternised etc. but they also can be tricky. Nuff of them want their stay..or giving their man back home money to build house.. while you there supposedly helping them out...
At least they are keeping it close to family. More black youth born with back home sensibilities cant be a bad thing.
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Le Moor
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Posted: Monday April 2nd, 2007 20:44 |
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........
Last edited on Monday April 2nd, 2007 20:45 by Le Moor
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BIG L
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 00:30 |
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i see la moor...you too are counting the days left until the Thermo-Nuclear War begins. lol
Anyway Africa anit a hard place to crack into. you just got to be cool and not take everything too seriously. Dating is like music if you don't like the sound of it move on to better things. Besides the British people are famous all over the world for being such a miserable bunch of pigs.
peace. 
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Vubundada_Kandaba
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 01:46 |
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Forgive me for asking this question and I do not mean to diverge from this topic. This question is based entirely on what I read here in BNV. What is the difference between a Black British, a Continental African and a Caribbean African? Is there are process whereby a Kenyan, a Senegalese, a Jamaican or a Guyanese can transform to being Black British? If so I am tempted to apply and become Black British. 
It seems to me like there are some who consider themselves to be Black British based on the simple fact that they are born in Britain from Continental African parents or from African Parents who come from the Caribbeans. I find this mind boggling that a person can transform him/herself into a Black British person while his/her parents remain Continental Africans or Africans from the Caribbeans.
If your Grandparents came to England from Jamaica in 1942 and your parents and all your siblings are born in England, then to me you are still Jamaican; heritage wise and your nationality is British and I don't get how you then can separate yourself from someone who just came today from Jamaica and call him/her Jamaican, and call your self Black British. Just because you may have not visited Jamaica in your life time does not mean you are not Jamaican. You might be born in England from Parents and Grandparents who are all born in England and die in England and you are still Jamaican and an African; even if you never set foot in the continent or the land of your parents birth. It seems to me like what I see here is "ahh, that land is where my parents are from, but I am not from there, I am from inglan". 
I stand to be corrected and Educated in the process.
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girlfromthenc
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 05:44 |
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| Where are most Black British people from? Maybe this could shed some light on their dating patterns/preferences.
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Le Moor
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 05:52 |
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Vubundada_Kandaba wrote: Forgive me for asking this question and I do not mean to diverge from this topic. This question is based entirely on what I read here in BNV. What is the difference between a Black British, a Continental African and a Caribbean African?
A black Britsh is someone who was born and raised in Britain like AA were born in USA. A Continental African is someone born in Africa probably lived the majority of their life there likewise for the Caribbean person.
How difficult is that to appreciate to the average human. .
Feel free to catogorise us precisely, im happy to follow suit as frankly i couldnt give a sh*t what this may be. Amongst my original context this wasnt the focus. Thanks for deliberately taking the thread there though.
Last edited on Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 21:26 by Le Moor
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Le Moor
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 05:56 |
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girlfromthenc wrote: Where are most Black British people from? Maybe this could shed some light on their dating patterns/preferences.
Most Black British are the descendants of Caribbean parents who came here in the Windrush era 1950/60s.
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girlfromthenc
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 06:12 |
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Le Moor wrote: girlfromthenc wrote: Where are most Black British people from? Maybe this could shed some light on their dating patterns/preferences.
Most Black British are the descendants of Caribbean parents who came here in the Windrush era 1950/60s.
I'm absolutely terrified to ask this next question because of the huge fallout we always have whenever people talk about something being 'mixed'. But anyway here goes: Is it possible that the MAJORITY of them mixed with other nationalities as to their reason for NOT considering themselves British people of Carribean orgins? I can't find any other reason for dropping their culture so quickly (less than 3 generations at most).
This makes me wonder what do the MOST of the children in Britian of a Black Carribean/ Black African background put down for the ethnicity...........
would they be official "Black British" people since they wouldn't belong to one single ethinc group
"others"
or would they have to choose from "Carribean" or "African"
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rachie
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 07:23 |
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In the past i have always thought that i would prefer a decent Christian guy who was brought up in this country like me as they may have more in common with me than a guy who was brought up in Africa but I am beginning to change my mind a bit on that though. Would any of the ladies here consider marrying outside of their race? I'll leave somebody else to spark that subject up as that debate always gets pretty heated.
blessingfromgod i know what you are saying about the visa thing. I know of an aunt who thought that it was ok for two
cousins to have a fake marriage just to get a visa and then seek a divorce. I went to Nigeria in 2001 and i saw this guy once and i don't know how he got my email somebody must have given it to him but since then he has been sending me emails telling me how much he loves me lol. I don't even remember what he looks like and i only saw him for about 15 mins in all the time i was there and we didn't even really have a conversation. I even got the mails from him to try and help him to get a visa lol and then i blanked him but he still mails me from time to time.
Vubundada_Kandaba i consider myself as a British born Nigerian. Sometimes i will refer to myself as British or a Nigerian. I consider myself as a British born Nigerian mostly though because i am a mixture of both cultures. If i go to Nigeria they largely see me as exactly that a British Nigerian person.
girlfromthenc It depends what is on the form sometimes as to what box some people may tick. Some people may put down black british some may put down black African or Caribbean i would say though that if all those three classifications where on a form that most black people who were born in the UK would put down black british. I don't think many if any at all would put down other. Some people though like my niece may find what to select tough as her mother has an African background and her father has a Caribbean background so for sure black British for people facing this situation would maybe be a good solution.
Last edited on Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 08:10 by rachie
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Incognito
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 08:37 |
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Hmmm...I've come across a few brothas serious about their future and family who take it for granted that when it comes to choosing a wife British girls do not even come into the recogning - they have no culture. Even those with African/caribbean parentage only hark on about Africa and the Caribbean by way of birth right but the value system and cultural traditions have been abandoned long ago and replaced for the mot part with money and materialism....like you would expect from a white girl.
People back home are usually poorer and have a work ethic ingrained in them which many westerners abuse and take advantage of....though some get to find those back home are not as stupid as they might look...and it's pure hell and powder house if you pick up a wotless one.
Marriage has lost its value. Even amongst the brothas you'd get more respect and understanding for marrying someone for citizenship or tax benefits...or even a cosmetic gesture to appease your long term babymother.
If we talk about wotless, if a woman has a career but can't cook and clean it's because she had no intention of cooking and cleaning, the career was an escape from it so it's really horses for courses....these women make terrible mothers which can come to a serious head when your choice in woman is based on chosing a mother for your children and not her money....times that by ten when when she has chosen you for your ability to be a source of finance for her children.
Still, Africans are a diverse people, you have an entire continent to choose a partner from which makes it all that more surprising why so many opt to go grey.Last edited on Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 08:38 by Incognito
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chi
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 09:00 |
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I know quite a few ladies who have completely no interest in Black British men at all. Come to think of it, I havent really dated many Black British men myself, not purposely though because I know lots of cool British guys.
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ZACK
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 11:05 |
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Well as a 54 year old black male who was born in the caribbean Antigua to be exact and I have family and friends in most of the caribbean islands Whom I visit regularly
Us older heads always stay in touch even though most of us are back and forth from uk to caribbean in the summer and winter. My daughter just got married to a Jamaican guy and I invited all my old friends from various different caribbean Islands who I used to work with.
It was a very proud ocassion for me but at the wedding reception the older heads all sat down with our heads in our oxtail soup we all spoke of the good ole days.
Funny enough the issue of relationships came up and we all came to the logical conclusion that there is good and bad in all people.
You cannot genralise to do that you are denying yourself the chance to meet and get to know and build relationships with the opposite sex. I'm not trying to patronise anyone who reads this thread but I'm telling you I have been around a bit and seen a good few things in my 54 years. Thank god I have been blessed to be able to afford to travel and see the world.
When you see things elsewhere you start to realise that the grass isn't neccasarily greener. And you get to find out that wotless people come in all nationalities. And we have our fair share of wotless caribean men too.
But my advice to black women and I speak speak as a black man whom has 3 beautiful black daughters all from the same woman I hasten to add lol.
But seriously ladies you have to take man as you find them and give a man a chance to show you what he is about. Then make the judgement.
It seems strange that many of these brother bashing sessions I hear of so frequently where black females get together round one persons home with the ocassional black man in the mix thrown in normaly the boyfriend or husband of one of the women. And the evening conists of putting down black men and saying black men from there are better than black man from here. Or we even have some who use it as a sounding board to promote their prefrence for white males.
Is it not strange that many of these independent black females whom think with this colonial mentality have never even had what I call a proper stable relationship yet they become experts on who is the best person to date and have a realtionship with lol.
I'm so glad the wounderful black men and women in mine and my wifes circles, and my wife happens to be from Grenada, do not think like this as we are all older black men and women who know better.
I won't deny there are issues of responsibily within some black males whom are born here, However there are elements of that in the caribbean also ,but that has nothing to do with where a person is from it's about the teachings they have had within the home from day one and how they were raised.
The issue nowadays is boys think they can become men before their time without walking the walk. A boy has to be taught to become a man with proper teachings from some sort of father figure.
Or he will remain a boy for life and a boy whom has a son doesn't have the skills to pass on.
Those are the facts my brothers and sisters
Last edited on Wednesday April 4th, 2007 01:06 by ZACK
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Vubundada_Kandaba
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 12:13 |
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@rachie. Thanks for your honest reply. I hope you will meet that Good Christian guy one day and hopefully his background will be Nigerian. I totally understand your point about finding someone of similar background who is born in England, because there are certain things you might share. I would say, cast your net wide to include Continental Africans (Nigerians) back home, so long as the two of you understand each other. I am also aware of the fact that many people back home in Africa see us as nothing more than a Visa, a Ticket or a Gateway to America and the UK. It is those people we must stay clear of. I would also not let anyone define who I am. You are Nigerian no matter how those misguided folks you met in Nigeria call you British.
@Le Moor. Sorry, but my question is relavant to the point of this debate. How we define ourselves play a role in our dating and marriage patterns. Just because a person's Grandparents immigated to the moon and their parents and all their siblings happen to be born on the moon does not make them less human than us "Earthly Beings". They can't say, "sorry, I am not a "Human being" but I am "Moon being" simply because I happen to be born on the moon unless they are some sort of alien creatures with green skin.
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Incognito
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 16:35 |
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Man it's spreading 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6512235.stm
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Ms Price
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 20:37 |
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Yes...british born men 25 and under have a different outlook on life, it's almost like they can't see beyond England.
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blaze
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Posted: Tuesday April 3rd, 2007 22:14 |
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ZACK wrote: Well as a 54 year old black male who was born in the caribean Antigua to be exact and I have family and friends in most of the caribean islands Whom I visit regularly
Lol @ the fact that a caribbean man spells the word of his region wrong.
"Caribean" yo.
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ZACK
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Posted: Wednesday April 4th, 2007 01:02 |
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blaze wrote:
Lol @ the fact that a caribbean man spells the word of his region wrong.
"Caribean" yo.
@ blaze lol that was an honest typing error really it was I am getting better with the touch typing though lol if I keep up the practice lol I won't miss letters. I notice I made the mistake more than once though I do that quite a lot with certain words trying to get the speed of my typing up.
In any case I was multi tasking when I typed that post lol well thats my excuse anyway.
Thanks for the correction though I need to be checking my posts now as you are not the first person to correct me.
Last edited on Wednesday April 4th, 2007 01:12 by ZACK
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Le Moor
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Posted: Wednesday April 4th, 2007 03:49 |
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ZACK wrote: Well as a 54 year old black male who was born in the caribbean Antigua to be exact and I have family and friends in most of the caribbean islands Whom I visit regularly
Us older heads always stay in touch even though most of us are back and forth from uk to caribbean in the summer and winter. My daughter just got married to a Jamaican guy and I invited all my old friends from various different caribbean Islands who I used to work with.
It was a very proud ocassion for me but at the wedding reception the older heads all sat down with our heads in our oxtail soup we all spoke of the good ole days.
Funny enough the issue of relationships came up and we all came to the logical conclusion that there is good and bad in all people.
You cannot genralise to do that you are denying yourself the chance to meet and get to know and build relationships with the opposite sex. I'm not trying to patronise anyone who reads this thread but I'm telling you I have been around a bit and seen a good few things in my 54 years. Thank god I have been blessed to be able to afford to travel and see the world.
When you see things elsewhere you start to realise that the grass isn't neccasarily greener. And you get to find out that wotless people come in all nationalities. And we have our fair share of wotless caribean men too.
But my advice to black women and I speak speak as a black man whom has 3 beautiful black daughters all from the same woman I hasten to add lol.
But seriously ladies you have to take man as you find them and give a man a chance to show you what he is about. Then make the judgement.
It seems strange that many of these brother bashing sessions I hear of so frequently where black females get together round one persons home with the ocassional black man in the mix thrown in normaly the boyfriend or husband of one of the women. And the evening conists of putting down black men and saying black men from there are better than black man from here. Or we even have some who use it as a sounding board to promote their prefrence for white males.
Is it not strange that many of these independent black females whom think with this colonial mentality have never even had what I call a proper stable relationship yet they become experts on who is the best person to date and have a realtionship with lol.
I'm so glad the wounderful black men and women in mine and my wifes circles, and my wife happens to be from Grenada, do not think like this as we are all older black men and women who know better.
I won't deny there are issues of responsibily within some black males whom are born here, However there are elements of that in the caribbean also ,but that has nothing to do with where a person is from it's about the teachings they have had within the home from day one and how they were raised.
The issue nowadays is boys think they can become men before their time without walking the walk. A boy has to be taught to become a man with proper teachings from some sort of father figure.
Or he will remain a boy for life and a boy whom has a son doesn't have the skills to pass on.
Those are the facts my brothers and sisters
Post of the day nomination me thinks.
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