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The Black Forum 2 - The BN Village > Dustbin > The Moderator Dustbin Village > Does anyone else play this game or is it just me??


Does anyone else play this game or is it just me??
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jett Black
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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 02:08
This is how it goes....and a supermarket is usually the setting..or it can be the mall,the movies a restaurant whatever,but it mostly happens to me in Tescos.

 

Basically it goes like this......

Its an inter-racial couple, 9 times out of 10 a black man with a white woman but to be fair sometimes the other way round.

So this is what happens.....

I will have clocked them from feet away.....I mean feet,not inches.....and I know at some point they will come walking past me.

But the the thing is I have already assessed everything I need to see and know about them from feet away,so by the time  they walk past me or me by them,it is as if they dont exist and I havnt seen them,my head is in another direction.

Yet,in my peripheral vision,I can feel and see the White woman is looking me up and down in some sort of challenging"why aren't you jealous way" and I have already seen the man avert his gaze from jump street-feet away(head down,or something really interesting suddenly appears on the ceiling)if he sees any other black women in the aisle including me.

And occasionally I just like to let out a little chuckle as I or they pass,even though my eyes are nowhere near their direction........just to un-nerve,lol.

Yes its kinda perverse,but its the only way I can get through a shop at my local supermarket without fuming is to pretend that it doesnt bother me.

And the truth is,it really wouldnt bother me,if it were the odd sprinkling of IR's,I could even be generous and look at them and say"Ahh they must really be in love",but its the constant onslaught to my senses,that enrages me,coz I know that 99% of those relationships have nothing to do with love,its about power or lack of.....and then the women who are falsely led to believe their snatches are made of gold because of the way Black men seem to fiend for it.

Well I suppose technically this is an IR thread and will be closed shortly,but just wanted to share this game that I play,like it or lump it....it helps me function in these f**ked up climes.



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Prince Hakeem
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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 02:12
Do you feel the same way when you sistas with bluefoot men?



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jett Black
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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 02:18
Prince Hakeem wrote: Do you feel the same way when you sistas with bluefoot men?

Yes, even more so because almost without exception they are butterz beyond belief and to have a vision of her sacred womb being banged by that turns my stomach.

Not to say that if the man were ridiculously goodlooking it would be A-Ok,but at least intellectually I could understand it and be less likely to gag.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 02:37
In fact I wish I could do a degree in Supermarket Anthropology,i'd get a bloody FIRST(for AA's thats kinda like Magna Cum Laude).

Anyway ive noticed a disturbing trend of late in that more Continental African men are involved in these hook ups,they can barely conceal their"i'm free to bang whitey glee".

I saw two today,one couple with child,the other without...and I believe this trend will continue to rise.

 



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 02:59
Ha ha JB.. I understand your game totally..., you know what made me laugh today, saw a guy with his white girlfriend and wasn't really paying attention until I saw him staring me like a piece of meat and took the effort to look back in front of his girlfriend.( I was worried he might actually approach that how harrd he was staring) who was staring at him like WTF.. he only noticed when I pointed behind him to see his VEX g/f watching him...



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 03:14
An_Advanced_Spark wrote: Ha ha JB.. I understand your game totally..., you know what made me laugh today, saw a guy with his white girlfriend and wasn't really paying attention until I saw him staring me like a piece of meat and took the effort to look back in front of his girlfriend.( I was worried he might actually approach that how harrd he was staring) who was staring at him like WTF.. he only noticed when I pointed behind him to see his VEX g/f watching him...

I think thats why I started this game coz of examples like yours...i've had ish like that happen and worse.....and I just dont want any up close-up visual communication with them at all,zero acknowledgement,zero eye-rolls.Just wanna look criss as they or I walk by and for them to feel like they are something I just shat out.




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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 04:02
Used to, I just blank them thesedays. Almost always if I'm looking in that direction the white women is staring at me. So you know love has nothing to do with it.

 

 



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 04:24
Romania and Bulgaria joined EU 2 days ago

 



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 04:28
jett Black wrote: This is how it goes....and a supermarket is usually the setting..or it can be the mall,the movies a restaurant whatever,but it mostly happens to me in Tescos.

 

Basically it goes like this......

Its an inter-racial couple, 9 times out of 10 a black man with a white woman but to be fair sometimes the other way round.

So this is what happens.....

I will have clocked them from feet away.....I mean feet,not inches.....and I know at some point they will come walking past me.

But the the thing is I have already assessed everything I need to see and know about them from feet away,so by the time  they walk past me or me by them,it is as if they dont exist and I havnt seen them,my head is in another direction.

Yet,in my peripheral vision,I can feel and see the White woman is looking me up and down in some sort of challenging"why aren't you jealous way and I have already seen the man avert his gaze from jump street-feet away(head down,or something really interesting suddenly appears on the ceiling)if he sees any other black women in the aisle including me.




And occasionally I just like to let out a little chuckle as I or they pass,even though my eyes are nowhere near their direction........just to un-nerve,lol.

Yes its kinda perverse,but its the only way I can get through a shop at my local supermarket without fuming is to pretend that it doesnt bother me.

And the truth is,it really wouldnt bother me,if it were the odd sprinkling of IR's,I could even be generous and look at them and say"Ahh they must really be in love",but its the constant onslaught to my senses,that enrages me,coz I know that 99% of those relationships have nothing to do with love,its about power or lack of.....and then the women who are falsely led to believe their snatches are made of gold because of the way Black men seem to fiend for it.

Well I suppose technically this is an IR thread and will be closed shortly,but just wanted to share this game that I play,like it or lump it....it helps me function in these f**ked up climes.


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Some of them probably get the impression that black women are jealous of them through reading some black magazines,Forums and from some blk women who actually show their disgust out in public.

I don't think its fair to judge ALL people that way. But the more hate thats given out, the more hate and prejudice comes back. Sometimes the innocent suffer for the guilty.

I'm not saying that 60% or 70% of black people should be in IR relationships,or that most IR realtionships are about love.

But once a person has made their choice in relationships why then keep promoting hate towards them? Why create a bitter black women visa versa &the black men are losers for not choosing their own race system?

I try not to get into that kind of thinking.















































































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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 04:46
Some of them probably get the impression that black women are jealous of them through reading some black magazines,Forums and from some blk women who actually show their disgust out in public.

They need never have read an African forum or mag for them to come that conclusion,they can get that impression from what their partners tell them or from what they want to believe.

And from the bottom of my heart I can tell you what I feel is not jealousy...I just  feel weary.

Now I wouldnt want this to be a thread where someone comes in with a million stats about how this isnt happening and how I must be hallucinating coz this isnt happening on such a scale.....I can only speak from my experiences in London.

It's not happening all over England or all over the world,but it is happening.

The bottom line is when you've chosen to make your home -for better or worse-in a place where your own men dont value you,it can make you weary,physically and spiritually.

And I think I just find it embarrassing on a number of levels also.

I never,ever feel like i'm second/third or fourth choice when i'm in the US,even though lots of African men there like all sorts of women.

My ego is too huge to be any mans second choice.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 04:50
milesdavis wrote: Romania and Bulgaria joined EU 2 days ago

 

Cool fresh Eastern bloc poontang for them to run up in.niceone.gif

At least they'll be marginally better looking than the Sonia from Eastender types I usually see them rolling with.



 




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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 05:13
There's something else that it does to you too,i'll write about it in the morning,but right now i'm hella sleepy.

Hopefully thread wont be closed by the time I wake up.

Keep it civil peeps.:)



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 05:29
jett Black wrote: milesdavis wrote: Romania and Bulgaria joined EU 2 days ago

 

Cool fresh Eastern bloc poontang for them to run up in.niceone.gif

At least they'll be marginally better looking than the Sonia from Eastender types I usually see them rolling with.



 




and most look like Anna Sharapova for some reason

dont know why



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 05:56
jett Black wrote: Some of them probably get the impression that black women are jealous of them through reading some black magazines,Forums and from some blk women who actually show their disgust out in public.

They need never have read an African forum or mag for them to come that conclusion,they can get that impression from what their partners tell them or from what they want to believe.



And from the bottom of my heart I can tell you what I feel is not jealousy...I just  feel weary.

Now I wouldnt want this to be a thread where someone comes in with a million stats about how this isnt happening and how I must be hallucinating coz this isnt happening on such a scale.....I can only speak from my experiences in London.

It's not happening all over England or all over the world,but it is happening.

The bottom line is when you've chosen to make your home -for better or worse-in a place where your own men dont value you,it can make you weary,physically and spiritually.

And I think I just find it embarrassing on a number of levels also.

I never,ever feel like i'm second/third or fourth choice when i'm in the US,even though lots of African men there like all sorts of women.

My ego is too huge to be any mans second choice.



____________


Well thats true ,some never visited a African forum or read a black magazine but yet they have that attitude (people with an issue). Even though somethings do get pass on without people truly knowing how they did.



I wasn't really refering to you about being jealous ect,I was speaking about things more in general.

I'm not about pretending that IR are not going on,I just think people should be real with things.

You have to also remeber that theres 2 sides to it,some white women only want to date or have relationship with a black man. Some of their reason are many.Not saying that some of those black men should just jump into IR because a white woman is interested,but people normally go for who have interest in them. 


 Also theres a european standard of beauty in the most parts of the world, no hiding that.

If a persons only reason for having a spouse of another race is because that spouse is not like their own race, then that relationship is nothing to envy or spend time worrying over.

The U.K. and Europe are starting to have more people of different races and cultures coming into their country, contient.This can sometimes create the ''look at them their different and the new trend '' attitude.

I won't get mad a someone white because their spouse is black. A person has already made their choice thats their right as a human. 

Its better to have an open mind and realise theres good and bad things about every race. For some its not that easy because they want their roots and culture to stay strong(probally the story of all human),but to me bitterness and hate will only make things worse.











Last edited on Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 06:03 by kiley



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 07:06
Y does it matter who dates who?



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 08:47
That happened with me when I was in Tesco one time, only the guy in question was someone I used to deal with! I saw him a few feet away from behind, then I see this white chick walking next to him, and I'm thinking to myself nah they not together.  So two twos I had to walk up closer to where they were to see if my eyes were deceiving me.  Yes low and behold they were very much together.  It didn't actually bother me, I had to laugh and think to myself what is this brotha on.  He was a nice lookin brotha, loved to dress up and ting but man just looked haggard.  So from I see that I couldn't be mad.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 11:02
IR relationships get to me too, but I just ignore them when i see them out a road. Even though you can feel both sets of eyes burning holes in your clothes.

Why do they always feel the need to do that - like they are daring us to say something?

That black man, good looking or not, would NEVER be worth my time after dabbling in that.

Plus I would never give the w women the satisfaction of thinking that her job of annoying black women has been done.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 11:23
All the comments seem to be aimed towards the white woman...

... But what happens if it is the other way round (I know its not as common BUT..) are you not as bothered if it is a black female with a white male?!

Why does it bother you sooo much that you call it 'game' that you play when out shopping, at the park etc?!

Seems a bit childish to me, just ignore them and get on with your life...



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 11:33
What really annoys me is that i've only ever seen really fine (or at least above average) sisters dating IR.

But we all talk about these men wanting power like its some sort of flipping crime...well what's wrong with wanting a bit of power in a relationship? What's wrong with a woman making me feel like a king even if I haven't rubbed her feet first?

I think some sisters need to get off this tip of I aint doing sh*t for him till he does it for me first...just a suggestion...not an accusation



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 11:38
stick-upKid wrote: What really annoys me is that i've only ever seen really fine (or at least above average) sisters dating IR.

But we all talk about these men wanting power like its some sort of flipping crime...well what's wrong with wanting a bit of power in a relationship? What's wrong with a woman making me feel like a king even if I haven't rubbed her feet first?

I think some sisters need to get off this tip of I aint doing sh*t for him till he does it for me first...just a suggestion...not an accusation


All relationships, regardless on IR or 'normal' (if thats the right term, lol), should be equal. There shouldn't be any power/control over one sex opposed to another. You have come together in the relationship, and work together to grow together and be united....! My partner is my king, as much as I'm his queen.




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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 12:12
Natalie1 wrote: All the comments seem to be aimed towards the white woman...

... But what happens if it is the other way round (I know its not as common BUT..) are you not as bothered if it is a black female with a white male?!

Why does it bother you sooo much that you call it 'game' that you play when out shopping, at the park etc?!

Seems a bit childish to me, just ignore them and get on with your life...

Either or, Most black women i see with w men are older and some how I always think that they are doing it for the money!?

Still, I Ignore them too, it just seems that with a b women/w man IR they are not 'flaunting' it as much whereas the other way around either the b man or the w women are always looking for some type of reaction from us.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 12:13
jett Black wrote: This is how it goes....and a supermarket is usually the setting..or it can be the mall,the movies a restaurant whatever,but it mostly happens to me in Tescos.

 

Basically it goes like this......

Its an inter-racial couple, 9 times out of 10 a black man with a white woman but to be fair sometimes the other way round.

So this is what happens.....

I will have clocked them from feet away.....I mean feet,not inches.....and I know at some point they will come walking past me.

But the the thing is I have already assessed everything I need to see and know about them from feet away,so by the time  they walk past me or me by them,it is as if they dont exist and I havnt seen them,my head is in another direction.

Yet,in my peripheral vision,I can feel and see the White woman is looking me up and down in some sort of challenging"why aren't you jealous way" and I have already seen the man avert his gaze from jump street-feet away(head down,or something really interesting suddenly appears on the ceiling)if he sees any other black women in the aisle including me.

And occasionally I just like to let out a little chuckle as I or they pass,even though my eyes are nowhere near their direction........just to un-nerve,lol.

Yes its kinda perverse,but its the only way I can get through a shop at my local supermarket without fuming is to pretend that it doesnt bother me.

And the truth is,it really wouldnt bother me,if it were the odd sprinkling of IR's,I could even be generous and look at them and say"Ahh they must really be in love",but its the constant onslaught to my senses,that enrages me,coz I know that 99% of those relationships have nothing to do with love,its about power or lack of.....and then the women who are falsely led to believe their snatches are made of gold because of the way Black men seem to fiend for it.

Well I suppose technically this is an IR thread and will be closed shortly,but just wanted to share this game that I play,like it or lump it....it helps me function in these f**ked up climes.


Lmao...i do the same thing..and dio the lil laughing thing like im laughing to my self and minding my own business....the same thing happened to me in Asda...the man was loking at something ans my friend and i both realised (stil not lookin in hs direction) he started to look at me HARD, so all of a sudden his gite women wals up and goes "WHAT YOU LOOKING AT LOVE" so i look at her and shes looking at me like im doing the staring...i just smile. Well as much as u anna wear that mini and those funky knee high boots its u with a black man...thats all i think its u witha black man...

Oh and when they look up to the sky in the ground like they can see hell...oh it makes me chuckle soooo



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 12:35
doesnt bother me ay all seeing brothers with Little miss Polands or Czechs

or sisters with Ross Kemps from East Enders or some middle class white dudes in Camden town or Islington

 



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 12:37
Natalie1 wrote: All the comments seem to be aimed towards the white woman...

... But what happens if it is the other way round (I know its not as common BUT..) are you not as bothered if it is a black female with a white male?!

Why does it bother you sooo much that you call it 'game' that you play when out shopping, at the park etc?!

Seems a bit childish to me, just ignore them and get on with your life...
A-ha,I see the thread is still open...so i'll continue for a bit.

 

Yes,it may well be a bit childish,but for me its a coping mechanism which I have to employ for my sanity,in every other aspect of my life I am very much"getting on with it"".

If it doesnt bother you....greatniceone.gif...you are made of different stuff than me.

Like I said before,it has nothing to with jealousy,I dont like being made to feel weary day in day out,I dont like the embarrassment of the re-inforced stereotype of certain African men,I hate that at a glance,even if the woman is nowhere in sight yet,I can already assess that the man is with a white woman.......that shouldn't even be possibleconfused3,but it is and its ridiculous.

 

Oh and if you'd read an earlier post you would have seen how I feel about it the other way round also.





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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 12:40
NomadaNare wrote: Y does it matter who dates who?
It doesnt matter in the land of fairies and unicorns.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 13:20
I won't get mad a someone white because their spouse is black. A person has already made their choice thats their right as a human. 

Its better to have an open mind and realise theres good and bad things about every race. For some its not that easy because they want their roots and culture to stay strong(probally the story of all human),but to me bitterness and hate will only make things worse.

Well its very easy to have that cavalier attitude if you are not being confronted with this on a daily basis.

And the fact is,i'm not 100% opposed to IR relationships,after all some of them must breed so that BP's future dates are lined up for the next 25 years.;)

What I object too is the proportion.

You mentioned that the European aesthetic is the standard of beauty....well what does that mean?? does it mean that because this is so,that African men must sheepishly fall in line and hop into bed with the first available minger who bats her eye-lashes?

Anyway I will now touch on the NUMBER ONE reason why it bothers me so,the thing I was going to write last night but was too tired to.

Because it is sooo pervasive where I live it leaves me in an uncomfortable and awkward position of not being able to make eye-contact or exchange those normal pleasantries,like a smile or a light flirtation with my own brothers.

It has become very rare for me to even look at brothers when i'm walking down the street,I just blank.....and the reason I do this I believe is because in my mind there has already been such a wholesale rejection of us why would I even bother to risk this psychic+ physical blow-even if its just a three second exchange-by smiling or just or acknowledging him??

Its dangerous I know....because it means I have totally eliminated the geniune,interested or just friendly brothers because I just dont want to look,to risk.

As it stands,the only time I can free myself up to invesitigate if he is cool,is if i'm at an African function or if i'm with African men I already know.

Like I said when i'm in New York,this is not a problem,I cant get down the street without being hailed by some brother,or even if we dont speak smiles are exchanged etc,etc....it's a completely different vibe to London in that respect.

And I believe this is what depresses me so.

Yeah,I know people are tired of this topic and all its various cousins,but I guess writing this thread was just a bit of catharsis for me coz some things you cant express anywhere else,so if the mods wanna close it, close it.

I think what i'm clumsily trying to bring focus too is the way it can make sisters shut down in terms of normal African interaction.

Can anyone feel me on this? Can you decipher my hieroglyphics and make sense of what i'm trying to convey?:)



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 14:15
 

Do the same thing. 

Don't even think about it anymore I just look away and let them know I'm looking away. As you said JB its not all of them its the blatant ones that get to me, don't mind culltured mixes so much they're normally a bit deeper, its just the bluefoot IRs... tend to find that they look around for acceptance of their relationship and then talk about how ''racist'' people are because they don't give them the thumbs up when they see them. Hug up on their black wo/man but still harbour their disliking of the rest of us and end up with confused mixed pickney because the black parent is in denial of their identity... or trapped in a sterotypical role because the BF thinks they're cool and down with it or something.

Was glad to hear one girl say that I'm, ''Too black'' .lol. Other classic lines are, ''Oh my god!, Is that voodoo!?'' in referance to my facemask keychain or the masks I've got at home.

Feel sorry for half the mixed race kids out there. Pun intended.



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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 14:57
Melissa wrote: Natalie1 wrote: All the comments seem to be aimed towards the white woman...

... But what happens if it is the other way round (I know its not as common BUT..) are you not as bothered if it is a black female with a white male?!

Why does it bother you sooo much that you call it 'game' that you play when out shopping, at the park etc?!

Seems a bit childish to me, just ignore them and get on with your life...

Either or, Most black women i see with w men are older and some how I always think that they are doing it for the money!?

Still, I Ignore them too, it just seems that with a b women/w man IR they are not 'flaunting' it as much whereas the other way around either the b man or the w women are always looking for some type of reaction from us.


 

Oh believe me, they do it too Melissa. They wouldn't do that in front of sistas obviously because they have nothing to prove, but I can remember at least two instances in the past year where some sellout has been with her bluefoot man and suddenly the conversation has gotten louder and I notice out of the corner of my eye she's quickly glancing at me every 5 seconds just to see what my reaction is going to be. Normally when they see you with your African woman they're not as cocky.





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 Posted: Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 15:14
NomadaNare wrote: Y does it matter who dates who?


Have you ever seen a leopard mate with a lion?



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