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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 16:41 |
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I just want to make a pledge for all you shy guys out there.
Recently Ive met a lovely guy who is like the opposite of what I usually go for. As a rule I find myself attracted to guys who are confident, can work the crowd, funny ect... Basically your sterotypical tall dark and hansome. Shy guys definately dont usually come on to my radar. I know people like to say that black women are overly demanding and want their guy to have a good job, nice car and smooth personality but I think this is a problem across all races .
Its ok to be a female who gets shy and doesnt say much because if you look nice you stll get guys coming upto you. With guys on the other hand theres a whole breed of males who just dont have "the right look", dont have the right talk and genrally arent very confident so end up hardly ever having girlfriends. Even though they would treat a woman right if they did have one they just seem to get overlooked a lot.
This guy i met is against my grain because hes shy doesnt have a circle of friends, hasnt got the best dress sense, hasnt got the best job plus he has blond hair I was having doubts about whether I could stay with a nice guy because theyre "boring" but the more weve got together the more attractive hes becoming as he relaxes. Amittedly I am gonna tweak him coz I think he needs a bit of a tan and needs to rethink some style choices but Ive found love where I never thought I would.
Give shy guys a chance, you maybe surprised!
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Zerohero
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 16:53 |
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Word of advice, never try to change people to much. It usually has counter effects.
As far as the nice guy deal, a "jerk" guy can be just as bad as well. I think women would rather have a guy inbetween. I've seen it too often, nice guy gets ran over, bad boy abuses chick, then chick hates all men.
So all "shy" guys really need to do is get a little back bone, and more chicks will flock to them.
Oh, and if women are flocking to a guy for superficial reasons, don't worry about it, they'll be breaking up because of those reasons later.
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Amin
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 17:27 |
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This guy i met is against my grain because hes shy doesnt have a circle of friends, hasnt got the best dress sense, hasnt got the best job
This killed it, your basically saying the guy is a loser and then you are going to go on and mould him to what you want him to be.
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 17:34 |
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lol that man sounds like a right tosser....
lol no friends a whack ass job and a shy mofo...
sounds like the type I usally bully up and bounce out of shop ques ect ect..
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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:04 |
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Amin wrote: This guy i met is against my grain because hes shy doesnt have a circle of friends, hasnt got the best dress sense, hasnt got the best job
This killed it, your basically saying the guy is a loser and then you are going to go on and mould him to what you want him to be.
Hes no loser. Hes educated past me, good looking and sexy. His dress sense isnt my type but is pretty normal for a white guy. See what I mean, you label someone a loser without even knowing him just because he doesnt have the perfect job (at least hes got one) and isnt surrounded by friends (because hes shy). These guys have no chance.
Hes pretty, exactly the body I like, knowledge and passion for hip hop to put me to shame, reliable, kind, funny and intelligent but still hes a loser. OK then....
(p.s: getting him to wear a v-neck t shirt is hardly making him what I want him to be, i have no problems with any aspect of his personality)
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Zerohero
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:09 |
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If you like him go for it, but refere to my previous post for original thoughts.
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:12 |
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| why come to a black forum to tell us about your white boyfriend??
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An_Advanced_Spark
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:17 |
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Black_power wrote: why come to a black forum to tell us about your white boyfriend??
Thats just want I thinking (how come she took the effort to mention that?)
Took me a while to cotton on though had strange images of a blond black man.......
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Sir_2Fine
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:22 |
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Black_power wrote: why come to a black forum to tell us about your white boyfriend??
==============================================
was just thinking the same, i think she is trying to tell us (black-men) something here.......
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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:22 |
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Black_power wrote: why come to a black forum to tell us about your white boyfriend??
What I was actually trying to put across was about shy men and how you can miss them. The colour of him doesnt make a difference unless you are racist? A man is a man at the end of the day. I know theres other women and men on here who are in mixed relationships (including blk and mixed race!) and I know there are a couple of white people who post on here, whats the difference.
From now on if I see a thread about relationships or dating Im not allowed to share my experiances unless they are with a 100% black man?? Ok then...
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:31 |
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1sam1 wrote: Black_power wrote: why come to a black forum to tell us about your white boyfriend??
What I was actually trying to put across was about shy men and how you can miss them. The colour of him doesnt make a difference unless you are racist? A man is a man at the end of the day. I know theres other women and men on here who are in mixed relationships (including blk and mixed race!) and I know there are a couple of white people who post on here, whats the difference.
From now on if I see a thread about relationships or dating Im not allowed to share my experiances unless they are with a 100% black man?? Ok then...
1Sam1: A few points for reflection..
We don't do IR debates here....so if this is a backdoor attempt to introduce such a discussion I will toss this thread into the bin..without warning
Next point a MAN is not a MAN..and we are different thats a given to say we're not would be like me saying ALL cars are the same..they may do the same thing but there are cars and then are car isn't it..
Finally the difference is that this is an AFRICAN(Black to you) forum discussing all things African...that is where we start... we don't do we are the world net..otherwise we would have no identity or specialism hence our name would become redundant...
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Vubundada_Kandaba
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:39 |
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1sam1 wrote: Hes no loser. Hes educated past me, good looking and sexy. His dress sense isnt my type but is pretty normal for a white guy.
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Oh Dear!!!!
WTF, White guy, white guy?? Man F this white guy!!! I am with everyone here and that is why come to a black forum to dangle this mofo white guy infront of us? Your image and this post has been tarnished from now on.
Last edited on Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:44 by Vubundada_Kandaba
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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 18:58 |
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Kunjufu wrote: 1sam1 wrote: Black_power wrote: why come to a black forum to tell us about your white boyfriend??
What I was actually trying to put across was about shy men and how you can miss them. The colour of him doesnt make a difference unless you are racist? A man is a man at the end of the day. I know theres other women and men on here who are in mixed relationships (including blk and mixed race!) and I know there are a couple of white people who post on here, whats the difference.
From now on if I see a thread about relationships or dating Im not allowed to share my experiances unless they are with a 100% black man?? Ok then...
1Sam1: A few points for reflection..
We don't do IR debates here....so if this is a backdoor attempt to introduce such a discussion I will toss this thread into the bin..without warning
I know full well that you do not do IR discussions and thats why i did not try to or want to start one. If you read the title i said "nice guy" which meant nice guys across the spectrum. Right now I dont care if you toss it into the trash if your gonna be so racist and paranoid.
Next point a MAN is not a MAN..and we are different thats a given to say we're not would be like me saying ALL cars are the same..they may do the same thing but there are cars and then are car isn't it..
I cant believe this blatant racism. Theres other people who believe things like that who get banned for saying it. Cars are cars, maybe theyll be a different make or be a diff colour but they all use the same mechanisms to get to point A to point B and if your lucky they all roll in the same direction. A black man can be shy just like a white man/chinese man can (or am I just imagining this) a black man can have a crap job like a white man, bad dress sense as a white man, black man can have a loss for words exactly the same. I am going to think this over in case I am missing something here.
Finally the difference is that this is an AFRICAN(Black to you) forum discussing all things African...that is where we start... we don't do we are the world net..otherwise we would have no identity or specialism hence our name would become redundant...
Ok so subjects like "how big do you like a guy to be" and " how skinny is too skinny" are specialist subjects??? You could find that on any forum(trust me). Or in the entertainment room where they are talking about the Apprentice is that a specialist African subject??? Sometimes people can get so far up their own ass they cant see the wood for the trees.
The majority of my mixed and black friends dont think its a good thing to go out with a White man and sometimes say it makes them feel sick so I dont go around trying to make some point of it. I only wanted to explain why I didnt like his dress sense. The whole blond thing was because I said I like tall dark and hansome. I like only dark skinned black men and dark haired white men so was merly explaining he was a person I usually wouldnt have given the time of day. You need to stop being so paranoid.
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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:02 |
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Vubundada_Kandaba wrote: 1sam1 wrote: Hes no loser. Hes educated past me, good looking and sexy. His dress sense isnt my type but is pretty normal for a white guy.
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Oh Dear!!!!
WTF, White guy, white guy?? Man F this white guy!!! I am with everyone here and that is why come to a black forum to dangle this mofo white guy infront of us? Your image and this post has been tarnished from now on.
Your probably the type of guy who would be offended if a white person said the same sort of thing in a white forum. I thought people on here would understand racism. Sometimes I find black people are just as bad. Black people have to fight so hard to get to be seen as equal and acceptabe, "a person too" but when its the other way round your still turning your nose up at "the white man".
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:07 |
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sammy
dont you understand knobody cares...
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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:10 |
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Black_power wrote: sammy
dont you understand knobody cares...
Yes you do or you wouldnt have said anything about him being white in the first place. Insecurity becomes you..
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:12 |
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LoL
NO
just pointing out a fact.... I didnt come here to hear about crackers....and that includes you
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An_Advanced_Spark
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:20 |
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Isam1: This guy i met is against my grain because hes shy doesnt have a circle of friends, hasnt got the best dress sense, hasnt got the best job plus he has blond hair I was having doubts about whether I could stay with a nice guy because theyre "boring" but the more weve got together the more attractive hes becoming as he relaxes. Amittedly I am gonna tweak him coz I think he needs a bit of a tan and needs to rethink some style choices but Ive found love where I never thought I would.
Give shy guys a chance, you maybe surprised!
Sanaa Lathan has entered the building....Interesting choice of avator.. coincidence I think not..
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1sam1
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:21 |
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Black_power wrote: LoL
NO
just pointing out a fact.... I didnt come here to hear about crackers....and that includes you
Aww being racist agen??? Unfortunately coming from you that isnt an insult, if being black means being paranoid and afro obsessed and jealous then Im ok being a "cracker" or maybe a "bounty" although im not. I'll pretend for you.
My mans bum tings...
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:38 |
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| hmmm nice change of avatar...
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 19:42 |
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1sam1 wrote: Black_power wrote: LoL
NO
just pointing out a fact.... I didnt come here to hear about crackers....and that includes you
Aww being racist agen??? Unfortunately coming from you that isnt an insult, if being black means being paranoid and afro obsessed and jealous then Im ok being a "cracker" or maybe a "bounty" although im not. I'll pretend for you.
My mans bum tings...
your "mans" bun what exactly?
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 20:30 |
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1SAM1: Ok you had to go there didn't you....?
So please allow me to correct you on the meaning and useage of this term racist, that you seem so keen to throw around like confettli...
Racism defined as the following:
- That a particular race is superior to others.
- Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
further examples cited are:
apartheid, bias, bigotry, discrimination, illiberality, Jim Crow, one-sidedness, partiality, racialism, sectarianism, segregation, unfairness..
Now Ms Sam..I'd like you to find me the EXACT phrase where I supposedly said that BLACKS were superior to white, where my decision not to entertian IR debates is based on a belief in superiority..further I would like you to point out you idiot where I have ever discussed, promoted or infered that Black people should discriminate against anyone either here or on in real life...
You see the trouble with likkle idiot gyal like you is that you get one piece of attention from the rasse dem, and yu tink seh you know everything...you feel yu is the authority on everything..your not!!
Pin yu ears back and listen keenly before you open your stupid mouth again and make yourself look even more idiotic than you are now... It is a fact by virtue of our cultural differences that I as an African will be different to a European..I don't share his values, mores, his worldview or the in built privilage he natural has being white.. So to say a Man is a Man is seriously dumb... Even you look at our physical make up I am NOT the same as a European..whilst we may share some common parts and suffer some common illnessness.. There are illness they will never get, that i will get by virtue of being African...
So my point by using the car analogy you idiot is simply this whilst cars, basically do the same task...no one in their right mind would compare a road going car with a FI racing car.. or for that matter a diesel engine car with a lead petrol driven car..they may both be cars but they are totally different GOTTIT now!!! dum dum..
Lastly you educationally challenged pleb, if we discuss things like the Apprentice, then it is usually because it has Black contestants in it and further we like to compare and contrast the experiences of the participants..Black and white with our own BLACK experiences as a learning point...
That my dear is completely different to talking in uncritical tone of European racism and worshipping Europeans as if they set the standards.. that I'm sure you will appreciate would be a complete contradiction on a forum called BLACKNET..wouldn't it?
So next time you tek wid you frousey self and pass word with me, get your facts straight FIRST!!!
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 20:37 |
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1sam1 wrote: What I was actually trying to put across was about shy men and how you can miss them. The colour of him doesnt make a difference
I know full well that you do not do IR discussions and thats why i did not try to or want to start one. If you read the title i said "nice guy" which meant nice guys across the spectrum.
If the above were the case, you could have made your whole post and point without pointing out that your partner was blond or white. You know this is an African/Black site to discuss African/Black issues or general issues from an African/Black perspective. It's not "racist or "paranoid" when people point this out, though some may point it out more forcefully than others.
Anyway, to address the point of your post, as a naturally shy/reticent person myself, I find that people often "write me off" without bothering to get to know me, which can be very frustrating esp since once i get to know people i am a different person. Not everyone is confident enough to go up to strangers and start conversations, or be the loud life and soul around people they don't know that well. So yes, shy or quieter people do get overlooked. At least i know the people i have in my life are real and genuine and are there because they like ME and not some brash persona that i have to put on (although i can be as brash as the next person around my friends lol)
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Prince Hakeem
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 20:51 |
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Aryek
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Posted: Sunday April 23rd, 2006 21:08 |
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Humph, weren't you the same person who was dissing those black men on the blackman/whitewoman forum? Now not only are you chasing after a white man, but you're getting upset because we have a problem with you coming on an African site to discuss you're relationship with a bluefoot? WTF?! Just take your mess to a United Colours of Beneton website. And have some damn respect for the objectives of this forum, we didn't come here for this.
Last edited on Sunday April 23rd, 2006 21:10 by Aryek
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jett Black
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:07 |
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ROTFLMBAO!!!
In the style of John McEnroe"you cannot be serious?"
A review of the guidelines is in order for the OP.
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Zerohero
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:10 |
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| LOCK?
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Kibibi
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:19 |
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Zerohero wrote: LOCK?
LOL. I'm actually enjoying this thread
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:21 |
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BlackBeauty wrote: Zerohero wrote: LOCK?
LOL. I'm actually enjoying this thread
Thats what i'm saying,cuz a pure joke she a mek!
Sometimes one needs a good comedy thread to brighten ones day.
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:27 |
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Aryek wrote: Humph, weren't you the same person who was dissing those black men on the blackman/whitewoman forum? Now not only are you chasing after a white man, but you're getting upset because we have a problem with you coming on an African site to discuss you're relationship with a bluefoot? WTF?! Just take your mess to a United Colours of Beneton website. And have some damn respect for the objectives of this forum, we didn't come here for this.
 Amen to that!
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Lucas...
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:42 |
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I predict this thread will be one of the biggest threads on bn...
mmm why you ask...
because of our subliminal affinity with such subjects and happenings of this nature......
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Posted: Monday April 24th, 2006 00:48 |
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Lucas... wrote: I predict this thread will be one of the biggest threads on bn...
mmm why you ask...
because of our subliminal affinity with such subjects and happenings of this nature......
Nah,don't think it's gonna rival "the last person to post in..." thread,LOL,it will probably fade with a wimper in a bout a day.
Howz your myspace shenanigans going?
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