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calisto
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Posted: Friday January 13th, 2006 22:59 |
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| I agree with Mamazora. Last edited on Friday January 13th, 2006 23:07 by calisto
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Maat
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Posted: Saturday January 14th, 2006 12:30 |
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Hey midwestgirl,
You know money is just one thing that sways us all in some way or another. How you decide to get it is up to you. An unbalanced amount of dependency on others to get it is one option but we all can do so much better than that. We need to start helping ourselves to make better choices all round.
"The helping hand is at the end of your own arm". Dr. Malachi Z. York
How about a healing program of ....10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives followed by 10 Good Choices That Empower Black Women's Lives by Dr. Grace Cornish…then of course Salvation as recommended by ParadigmShift . Let’s stop with the blaming and get some togetherness going on.
“We are all in this oversized boat together, whether we sink or survive depends on how well we can paddle together�. Dr. Grace Cornish.
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chi
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Posted: Saturday January 14th, 2006 17:38 |
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....well I cant say I know of too many black women who are looking for a man to provide them with money.........maybe some do but, its more than that, the fact that someone works in mickey d's doesn't mean they will treat you right either, it just might mean he doesn't have lots of money..........it doesn't create a quality man internally, in and of itself.
I dont know if it's different over the pond, but I dont see it being much of a problem in the UK.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Monday January 16th, 2006 22:17 |
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Thoth B3 wrote: HatHaruhotep wrote: Take me for example. I am 32, college educated, employed, and do not have a criminal record. I also do not have any children. But unless I want to settle for a white woman, I am going to be single forever because Black women have lost their minds!!
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 ...God...don't say that! I am 24, and have a similar profile as you (except for the age). I will admit that it would be easier for me to find a Black woman if I was more into "bad" things, but I don't want a White woman to be my fate. I have nothing against them, but I find sisters to be the finest on da' planet...
--Thoth B3
**Shakes Head** at both
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Monday January 16th, 2006 23:17 |
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Thoth B3 wrote: HatHaruhotep wrote: Take me for example. I am 32, college educated, employed, and do not have a criminal record. I also do not have any children. But unless I want to settle for a white woman, I am going to be single forever because Black women have lost their minds!!
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...God...don't say that! I am 24, and have a similar profile as you (except for the age). I will admit that it would be easier for me to find a Black woman if I was more into "bad" things, but I don't want a White woman to be my fate. I have nothing against them, but I find sisters to be the finest on da' planet...
Are you 2 ever going to stop telling us about your degrees?? So what if you are college educated, employed and do not have children? If that was the passport to everyone getting laid and finding true love, then there would hardly be many single people on planet earth.
Its about attraction and how you put yourself out there.....no woman or man should be compelled to be with you just because you have the so called qualities that YOU deem the be it all...since you both are in the US, with one of the highest EDUCATED, EMPLOYED African women population around, i am finding it really difficult to believe that you cannot find your equal anywhere. Its Impossible and i do not believe you both for a minute.
Why complain about women from different social classes as you who only want thugs?? why not look for your own equals who are seeking the same things as you?
And another thing, do you both realise how insulting your statement about African American women ONLY seeking thugs is? its an insult to the large majority who are decent hard working strong women who have kept your communities going through worts and all!
And you Thoth, bro you are ONLY 25, whats the hurry to make such a drastic comment? you haven't lived long enough for you to meet enough women to come to such an insulting and drastic conclusion about your women......damn, i am only a few years younger than you and i've only really had 2 relationships worth mentioning....the rest i couldn't even care, should i conclude then that i can't find an African man because they all want such and such women? That would be silly, what do i know? I'm still more interested in my shoes than a man.
As of you Hat, all i can say is broaden your horizon.....not only do you have the US, you also have Tanzania as your other home....are you telling me that both of those countries with MILLIONS of African women you can't meet one because they all want thugs? KMT! Cmon.....drop that line and enjoy your damn life for pity sake. Love doen't come to you because you happen to be an African man with a college degree....well guess what, more of your women have more degrees, do they all want to be baby mamas to P.diddy type morons?
You both are intelligent well adhered young men and i get that will all the good paper qualities that you are putting out there, you are forgeting that love is a complex thing that demands a connection between two people rather than a good on paper show of etiquetes.
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Shemsi en Tehuti
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 13:30 |
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Abissinia wrote: Thoth B3 wrote: HatHaruhotep wrote: Take me for example. I am 32, college educated, employed, and do not have a criminal record. I also do not have any children. But unless I want to settle for a white woman, I am going to be single forever because Black women have lost their minds!!
==========
...God...don't say that! I am 24, and have a similar profile as you (except for the age). I will admit that it would be easier for me to find a Black woman if I was more into "bad" things, but I don't want a White woman to be my fate. I have nothing against them, but I find sisters to be the finest on da' planet...
--Thoth B3
**Shakes Head** at both
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It is no secret that thugs are quite popular in the States. In fact, if you are a thug, then it is much easier to get a woman...although not necessarily a good one.
--Thoth B3
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Shemsi en Tehuti
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 13:47 |
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Mezmerized wrote: Are you 2 ever going to stop telling us about your degrees?? So what if you are college educated, employed and do not have children? If that was the passport to everyone getting laid and finding true love, then there would hardly be many single people on planet earth.
Its about attraction and how you put yourself out there.....no woman or man should be compelled to be with you just because you have the so called qualities that YOU deem the be it all...since you both are in the US, with one of the highest EDUCATED, EMPLOYED African women population around, i am finding it really difficult to believe that you cannot find your equal anywhere. Its Impossible and i do not believe you both for a minute.
Why complain about women from different social classes as you who only want thugs?? why not look for your own equals who are seeking the same things as you?
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I never said I couldn't find any women who are my "equal," so to speak, but only commenting that it is easier when you are thuggish. One thing I would like to say is that the most (mentally) attractive women to me from my experience have been the least college educated/brainwashed. College don't mean a thing, except how well you have been trained by a Western/White system. I have dated women with more degrees than myself, and we can have loads of fun..but too often they are so consumed with what Western culture has given them, that you would be surprised how I hear crickets whenever I mention problems with the African-American community, or how certain politics effect Africa. It is not a class thing, I would rather have just a high school graduate if it meant that I would be satisfied with her character...which ultimately would make me happy with her.
Mezmerized wrote: And you Thoth, bro you are ONLY 25, whats the hurry to make such a drastic comment? you haven't lived long enough for you to meet enough women to come to such an insulting and drastic conclusion about your women......damn, i am only a few years younger than you and i've only really had 2 relationships worth mentioning....the rest i couldn't even care, should i conclude then that i can't find an African man because they all want such and such women? That would be silly, what do i know? I'm still more interested in my shoes than a man.
===============
I don't think I am insulting African-American women. I am commenting on reality in America. Unfortunately the media controls the minds, and the only so-called "successful" men portrayed (in my age group) are athletes, entertainers, and thugs...and even the first 2 often imitate thugs to be more appealing.
--Thoth B3
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 14:10 |
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as i always say "like calls to like".
There is no point complaining that "all" women are attracted to thuggish types. Instead you should ask yourself, do you WANT to be attracted to a woman who is attracted to that type?
Why not focus on women who are attracted to YOUR type? Or maybe those get overlooked as they are not to your liking?
By contrast, i could say that "all" men are attracted to "ho" types. But no 1) i would know that to not be true, no 2) i would probably be dismissing the ones who were attracted to me for silly reasons or just coplelety overlooking them and 3) it would say alot about me that i am attracted to men who are shallow, superficial and have no real respect for women.
so instead of making such a generalization, maybe you should question why you are attracted to this specific type. If you are being so tunnel visioned in your approach, then it will seem as though it is ALL women. And if you are not, then where is the problem?!?!!?
I also want to say Mez, on point.
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Kibibi
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 14:38 |
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@Madam Butterfly. I was thinking the same thing
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 14:46 |
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| thanks BB. Its a bit like going shopping for rotten fruit then complaining when you can't find a good apple. Instead of people complaining that there are no good men or women, maybe they should take a look at the pile they are choosing from.
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Kibibi
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 15:00 |
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Madam Butterfly wrote: thanks BB. Its a bit like going shopping for rotten fruit then complaining when you can't find a good apple. Instead of people complaining that there are no good men or women, maybe they should take a look at the pile they are choosing from.
Exactly. I keep saying this same thing to a couple of men and women I know. It is ridiculous! One of my friends (female) always moans that she cannot find decent men but I always can...I just have to tell her-because we LOOK FOR and GO FOR different things. I'm not interested in someone who raves it up 24/7 , among other things., and I dont play games..plus I only date Black/African men-no rainbow for me.
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 15:04 |
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lol @ "no rainbow"!!
But sometimes you can talk to those people and it won't make a difference. Some people just love to compalin and bore people about the sad state of their relationship. When they EVENTUALLY take your advice and ditch the loser (be they male or female) they get another partner - EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE ONE THEY DITCHED!! Then they complain about why do they get treated badly blah blah!! By then, i am just reading the paper or watching TV and saying "yeah, hmmm, ohh half price sale..."
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Kibibi
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 15:08 |
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Madam Butterfly wrote: lol @ "no rainbow"!!
But sometimes you can talk to those people and it won't make a difference. Some people just love to compalin and bore people about the sad state of their relationship. When they EVENTUALLY take your advice and ditch the loser (be they male or female) they get another partner - EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE ONE THEY DITCHED!! Then they complain about why do they get treated badly blah blah!! By then, i am just reading the paper or watching TV and saying "yeah, hmmm, ohh half price sale..."
 Trust me, I have given up talking to these freaks-especially the men (it's just an excuse to go looking elsewhere-especially when some of them cannot wait to start comparing Black women with so and so)....although there is one-I just want to talk some sense into her dumb arse cause she is a great girl and a good friend...but ermmm she has issues Any tips...or should I leave it alone?
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Shemsi en Tehuti
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 15:08 |
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BlackBeauty wrote: Exactly. I keep saying this same thing to a couple of men and women I know. It is ridiculous! One of my friends (female) always moans that she cannot find decent men but I always can...I just have to tell her-because we LOOK FOR and GO FOR different things. I'm not interested in someone who raves it up 24/7 , among other things., and I dont play games..plus I only date Black/African men-no rainbow for me.
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Come on now...it can't be entirely the person's fault who is looking for someone. I have always had a few good female friends, and I am sorry, but some of them were the sweetest women you could meet, but ended up growing rather bitter because of selfish or immature idiots that approach her where she doesn't find out these details until much time was wasted on them.
I will say though that I have met the best people when I was not looking. Sometimes, people can try too hard...
--Thoth B3
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 15:14 |
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| BB what you can do is sit her down and get her to make some lists. List one will be what she wants in a partner. list 2 should be what she wants in a relationship. list 3 should be common traits of the men she seems attracted to. list 4 could be the things that go wrong or that she is not happy with in a relationship. That way she can physically see where she is going wrong instead of acting the "victim" and make a pro active decision to stick with and focus on what is on list one and two. When we focus on the negative, that is what we get in return. If she has made herself aware of what she really wants and still goes for what is on lists 3 and 4, then yes give up on her!!
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Kibibi
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 15:15 |
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Thoth B3 wrote: BlackBeauty wrote: Exactly. I keep saying this same thing to a couple of men and women I know. It is ridiculous! One of my friends (female) always moans that she cannot find decent men but I always can...I just have to tell her-because we LOOK FOR and GO FOR different things. I'm not interested in someone who raves it up 24/7 , among other things., and I dont play games..plus I only date Black/African men-no rainbow for me.
================
Come on now...it can't be entirely the person's fault who is looking for someone. I have always had a few good female friends, and I am sorry, but some of them were the sweetest women you could meet, but ended up growing rather bitter because of selfish or immature idiots that approach her where she doesn't find out these details until much time was wasted on them.
I will say though that I have met the best people when I was not looking. Sometimes, people can try too hard...
--Thoth B3
That is true, some people are very good @ concealing their true selves and people can grow bitter because of continous disappointment(s). BUT at the same time by becoming bitter and taking it out on others and tarring everybody else isnt exactly helping matters. I'm sure that same man/woman wouldn't appreciate the same being done to them.
I dont know maybe because I dont attract serial idiots I cant empathise. I'm not saying I havent dated a few idiots in my time...but my two serious relationships (my last one and my current one) I have been lucky. Though I do believe in people giving out certain energies and if you're bitter and vulnerable-be careful who appears to be attracted to you.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 19:56 |
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Madam Butterfly wrote: thanks BB. Its a bit like going shopping for rotten fruit then complaining when you can't find a good apple. Instead of people complaining that there are no good men or women, maybe they should take a look at the pile they are choosing from.
Spot on Madam B, spot on.
@Thoth seriously give it a break. Your excuses are becoming dry and nonsensical. Even in the cold Britain which has it's share of coconut African men we can still find quality African men of calibre everywhere. Stop looking for excuses as to why you aren't finding sisters who are like minded, you just ain't looking in the right places or for the right sisters.
Last edited on Tuesday January 17th, 2006 19:57 by Abissinia
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DSP
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 20:44 |
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For a man I don't know what's worse, not being able to find any good women or meeting so many till you confused and don't know what to do with yourself.
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 20:50 |
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Madam Butterfly wrote: BB what you can do is sit her down and get her to make some lists. List one will be what she wants in a partner. list 2 should be what she wants in a relationship. list 3 should be common traits of the men she seems attracted to. list 4 could be the things that go wrong or that she is not happy with in a relationship. That way she can physically see where she is going wrong instead of acting the "victim" and make a pro active decision to stick with and focus on what is on list one and two. When we focus on the negative, that is what we get in return. If she has made herself aware of what she really wants and still goes for what is on lists 3 and 4, then yes give up on her!!
Just saw this. Thanks MB!
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 21:40 |
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DSP wrote:
For a man I don't know what's worse, not being able to find any good women or meeting so many till you confused and don't know what to do with yourself.
LOL....thats the same for women as well. But i don't think anyone who knows what they want can be confused because of the amount of men or women around. I trully believe that most people would just know....unless you are only thinking about the physical aspects, thats when you get confused and can't decide which one would be the best in bed or in my arms as a trophy wife to boast my low self esteem.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 21:45 |
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DSP wrote:
For a man I don't know what's worse, not being able to find any good women or meeting so many till you confused and don't know what to do with yourself.
Well you can meet a lot of good women/men but there is always ONE that will give you hot flashes. But if in a group of good men/women and non actually stand out and you have equal interest for all it just means you are just ready and looking to settle with a safe person  .
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday January 17th, 2006 21:50 |
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Thoth, i think we keep going around circle now with your issue of African women...one minute they are the be it all, next they are this blah blahh. I can't be bothered anymore, on that note i think we should just let it be.
@MB
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midwestgirl
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Posted: Thursday January 26th, 2006 21:39 |
