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midwestgirl
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 00:58 |
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I really hope most of you won't wanna come to Indiana and beat me down for being honest but if so, oh well.... Many women of all races and backgrounds have made this mistake however, I think that many black women have a bad case of, MAN WITH MONEY= GOOD MAN!!!! I at one time was myself guilty of this type of thinking ... It is my belief that many sistas all over the world due to our socio-economic backgrounds (many of us coming from barely making it working class ,pay check to pay check middle-class,and in many cases poor familes, have a deeply planted notion that men with wealth and men with character go hand in hand .... This is not to say we were all taught to look for the golden goose ,or that only the rich have integrity .... Those of us who don't come from money know that the poor are among the most honerable and hard working people on the planet.In any case,many of us have let the bling era along with the fact that in the U.S , and I'm sure abroad, black women are more educated , and more involved in higher advancement than many brothers ..Yes, we are out pacing black men in certain arenas but there are good black men on every corner that a lot of us overlook... How many sistas do you know that won't even talk to a brother unless he's pushing a luxury car ??!! Many of us won't even look at a cat that lives with his mama (and that does not always mean he's a mama's boy or lazy, he might be saving up to get his own place), and most of us won't date guys that have been married before or have kids ... Don't get me wrong now, I ain't got time for overbaring mothers or baby-mama drama either ,butt many times we won't look past the surface ... And I know that you have a ton of black men that do the same ; but lets be honest , most of the brothers we see with white women we should just let white women have  !!! The majority of those rascals ain't worth the headache..LOL.. But I know I'm not the only one out there that has done sprints and somersaults over good guys for very shallow reasons.... Now if you find a man thats paid and has a good heart , AMEN CHILD; AND DOES HE HAVE A BROTHER???!!! But most of us won't be that lucky ... Many of us are going to have to decide whats more important, a man with love ,God, and a sensetive side or a man with $$$$ .... A good black man might be looking you right in the face everyday sis.. It could be the brother that delivers the mail, or the garbage man you see in the alley once a week (by the way, my cousins' a garbage man and in the states they make decent money) ,or the guy that works at Macdonald's ....I ain't sayin' settle ,or scrape the bottom of the bucket ... JUST GIVE THE BLUE COLLER BLACK MAN A CHANCE , SOME OF THEM ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.... Attachment: 35.jpg (Downloaded 716 times)
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 01:18 |
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Is this a case of too much America cheap beers consumption over the weekend dear?.......... if so i sugest you consult your local AA meeting group.....
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east
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 01:32 |
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| I always thought it was because we simply have failed at 'getting it together' because we can but instead we choose to turn our backs on each other and unltimately ourselves because being black is so painful. So instead we run away in fear of ourselves and drown(kill) ourselves in the ease of what our master the Western world and whites have to offer us.
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ParadigmShift
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 02:41 |
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First, I see no reason why we would go to Indianapolis and beat you down. You come on a discussion board w/ a topic.
I actually think there are variables to this dilemma. Because for one, there is nothing wrong w/ a Sistah wanting a man who is making a difference in life and has a plan.
Perhaps this ties into your other thread, because of many more of us pull each other up when we've become sucessful, then maybe we can have a even level playing field.
Now as far as Sistahs (and Brothers!) who look for unrealistic things in a mate, well, there is not much you can do. They've made that choice and time will tell if they will be ale to grow out of those expectations..
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Finest_G
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 02:52 |
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| So, what about all these Black men who work there ass off and then run to white woman with there education and money...! HHHmmmm...!
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midwestgirl
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 04:58 |
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No ,I'm not an alkie , and yes I had a feeling that a few sistas were gonna drink a little Hateraide after reading this cause to a certain extent it is true ... Now that said, I have never been one 2 generalize. I am aware that there are black women who don't fall under what I said in my first post ... Gotta admit though, many do ... Why do so many sistas seem to wanna thug ?? They sport that ice drive flasy cars and have large bank rolls (some do anyway).. And contrary to popular belief, there are a gang of black men with good educations or in the process of getting one that want black women, and the majority of brothers I see with white women are shiftless no goods that use them up cause a lot of white women put up with sh*t that the average sista wouldn't even attempt to tolerate!! We got enough problems as it is... P.S , I'm from upstate I.N,Indianapolis is down state. Just my personal outlook , ain't nothin' I'm sayin' law...Respect
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umbrarchist
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Posted: Sunday October 2nd, 2005 10:12 |
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You mean the ONLY reason some Black men buy certain expensive flashy cars is because of the women they help them pick up?
Say it ain't so.
Doesn't that mean these women are in effect working for the car companies? Working for the banks? Working for the insurance companies? They are working girls.
Working for the White man for the sake of some stupid fantasies.
Can't find a GOOD MAN?
Can't figure out what a GOOD MAN is.
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efenjee
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Posted: Monday October 3rd, 2005 10:24 |
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| I think only dumb sistas tend to think in terms of Good Man = Man With Money. The rest of us know that having money does not necessarily make someone a better person.
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DSP
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Posted: Wednesday October 5th, 2005 05:57 |
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umbrarchist wrote: You mean the ONLY reason some Black men buy certain expensive flashy cars is because of the women they help them pick up?
Say it ain't so.
Doesn't that mean these women are in effect working for the car companies? Working for the banks? Working for the insurance companies? They are working girls.
Working for the White man for the sake of some stupid fantasies.
Can't find a GOOD MAN?
Can't figure out what a GOOD MAN is.
umbrarchist
whooohoo!! Now how did I miss this thread?
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dirtyred
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Posted: Wednesday October 5th, 2005 23:05 |
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| Midwestgirl, I agree, a lot of decent men are being overlooked because of their wallets. And I also believe part of the reason a woman seeks out to the wealthier black man initially is because they feel that the wealthier man is going to treat them better than blue collar black man, and that is not always the case. Every man is different, there are some nice rich guys and nice broke guys. I feel as though some black women should reach a little deeper and learn to accept a man simply for the type of person he is. Money is not everything. And if you have chosen a blue collar man who has his head on straight, chances are he has hopes and dreams and aspirations just like the rich guy. Maybe they have encountered a lot of bumps in the road in their past that they now use a learning tools We as black women should keep on encouraging these men to never give up on their dreams and help them achieve them the best way we know how, cause that's what I would want my man to do for me. Two people helping one another, to build the life that they are comfortable with. With or without the bling.
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midwestgirl
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 00:01 |
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| @dirtyred,Right on sister , we gotta look past the suface ... My man ain't rich in monitary substance but he's rich in spirit and at the end of the day that's what really counts ... A house in the burbs', fancy cars , and nice cloths are a plus ,but they can't hold you late at night and tell you everythings gonna be alright.. Last edited on Thursday October 6th, 2005 00:07 by midwestgirl
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MamaZora
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 21:55 |
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 This topic so overrated & blown out of proportion IMO. It really ain't all that serious. Sad to see that we are now internalizing the stereotype of the glod digging materialistic Black woman.
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dirtyred
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 22:07 |
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MamaZora wrote: This topic so overrated & blown out of proportion IMO. It really ain't all that serious. Sad to see that we are now internalizing the stereotype of the glod digging materialistic Black woman. Could you please explain to me exactly what you are trying to say?
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sistaflyinsolo
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 22:08 |
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Its always interesting to hear the comments of men who call women gold diggers when there are a lot of successful women who can do for themselves. Its rare and far inbetween that I meet a gentleman that can give me more than I can work for to achieve myself.
Wealth is a mindset of integrity.
Its the slackers who are worried about women getting thier chump change.
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midwestgirl
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 22:34 |
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dirtyred wrote: MamaZora wrote: This topic so overrated & blown out of proportion IMO. It really ain't all that serious. Sad to see that we are now internalizing the stereotype of the glod digging materialistic Black woman. Could you please explain to me exactly what you are trying to say? @MAMAZORA, SINCE I STARTED THE THREAD I SHOULD CLARIFY A FEW THINGS.. IF I OFFENDED YOU, SORRY; IF NOT;NO I AM NOT SAYING NOR DID I EVER SAY THAT WE ARE INTERNALIZING THOSE STEREOTYPES OR THAT WE SHOULD SIT AT HOME PINING OVER GUYS ... I WAS MERELY SUGGESTING THAT MANY SISTAS SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT DUE TO MATERIALISTIC ATTITUDES,AND THAT GOOD MEN AND MEN WITH MONEY ARE NOT ALWAYS SYNONOMOUS.. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A MAN THAT HAS AMBITION AND GOALS;THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A MAN THAT HAS A PLAN SO TO SPEAK ...NOW, IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANY SISTAS THAT FALL UNDER SOME OF WHAT I SAID IN MY FIRST POST ,THAT MAKES YOU VERY LUCKY.... ALL I'M SAYIN' IS THAT A GOOD DUDE IS A GOOD DUDE ,BUT A LOT OF US WON'T GIVE THAT BROTHER THAT WORKS AT POPEYES' THE TIME OF DAY, EVEN IF HE'S A GREAT GUY!!!!!!! I WONDER WHY??????? Last edited on Thursday October 6th, 2005 22:43 by midwestgirl
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sistaflyinsolo
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 22:41 |
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| On the flip side there are a lot of triflin men who are looking for women to take care of them. To each his own....next
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MamaZora
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 22:51 |
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midwestgirl wrote: dirtyred wrote: MamaZora wrote: This topic so overrated & blown out of proportion IMO. It really ain't all that serious. Sad to see that we are now internalizing the stereotype of the glod digging materialistic Black woman. Could you please explain to me exactly what you are trying to say? @MAMAZORA, SINCE I STARTED THE THREAD I SHOULD CLARIFY A FEW THINGS.. IF I OFFENDED YOU, SORRY;IF NOT;NO I AM NOT SAYING NOR DID I EVER SAY THAT WE ARE INTERNALIZING THOSE STEREOTYPES
You are right; you never said that we are internalizing these stereotypes. That was the observation I MADE after reading the posts in this thread. Does anyone stop to think about OTHER factors that may be making it difficult for Black women to find good men? Maybe it could be a number issue-there are simpky more sistas than men in the first place, and when you factor in the "pickyness" factor that narrows down the pool? Did anyone think that maybe these women simply don't know what a good man truly is because they never had an example? Anyone stop to think that maybe the absence of fathers has had an effect on these women and their relationships? I understand that some sistas may be materialisti, but I don't think that is all there is to the issue. Its not that simple.
OR THAT WE SHOULD SIT AT HOME PINING OVER GUYS ... I WAS MERELY SUGGESTING THAT MANY SISTAS SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT DUE TO MATERIALISTIC ATTITUDES,AND THAT GOOD MEN AND MEN WITH MONEY ARE NOT ALWAYS SYNONOMOUS.. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A MAN THAT HAS AMBITION AND GOALS;THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A MAN THAT HAS A PLAN SO TO SPEAK ...NOW, IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANY SISTAS THAT FALL UNDER SOME OF WHAT I SAID IN MY FIRST POST ,THAT MAKES YOU VERY LUCKY.... ALL I'M SAYIN' IS THAT A GOOD DUDE IS A GOOD DUDE ,BUT A LOT OF US WON'T GIVE THAT BROTHER THAT WORKS AT POPEYES' THE TIME OF DAY, EVEN IF HE'S A GREAT GUY!!!!!!! I WONDER WHY???????
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midwestgirl
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Posted: Thursday October 6th, 2005 23:04 |
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MamaZora wrote: midwestgirl wrote: dirtyred wrote: MamaZora wrote: This topic so overrated & blown out of proportion IMO. It really ain't all that serious. Sad to see that we are now internalizing the stereotype of the glod digging materialistic Black woman. Could you please explain to me exactly what you are trying to say? @MAMAZORA, SINCE I STARTED THE THREAD I SHOULD CLARIFY A FEW THINGS.. IF I OFFENDED YOU, SORRY;IF NOT;NO I AM NOT SAYING NOR DID I EVER SAY THAT WE ARE INTERNALIZING THOSE STEREOTYPES
You are right; you never said that we are internalizing these stereotypes. That was the observation I MADE after reading the posts in this thread. Does anyone stop to think about OTHER factors that may be making it difficult for Black women to find good men? Maybe it could be a number issue-there are simpky more sistas than men in the first place, and when you factor in the "pickyness" factor that narrows down the pool? Did anyone think that maybe these women simply don't know what a good man truly is because they never had an example? Anyone stop to think that maybe the absence of fathers has had an effect on these women and their relationships? I understand that some sistas may be materialisti, but I don't think that is all there is to the issue. Its not that simple.
TRUE THAT, WHEN I MADE THE FIRST POST I WAS JUST TAKING ABOUT BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS, OR LACK THERE OF, FROM A MATERIAL STANDPOINT..THERE ARE OTHER VARIABLES.. TOO MANY TO NAME IN FACT
OR THAT WE SHOULD SIT AT HOME PINING OVER GUYS ... I WAS MERELY SUGGESTING THAT MANY SISTAS SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT DUE TO MATERIALISTIC ATTITUDES,AND THAT GOOD MEN AND MEN WITH MONEY ARE NOT ALWAYS SYNONOMOUS.. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A MAN THAT HAS AMBITION AND GOALS;THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A MAN THAT HAS A PLAN SO TO SPEAK ...NOW, IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANY SISTAS THAT FALL UNDER SOME OF WHAT I SAID IN MY FIRST POST ,THAT MAKES YOU VERY LUCKY.... ALL I'M SAYIN' IS THAT A GOOD DUDE IS A GOOD DUDE ,BUT A LOT OF US WON'T GIVE THAT BROTHER THAT WORKS AT POPEYES' THE TIME OF DAY, EVEN IF HE'S A GREAT GUY!!!!!!! I WONDER WHY???????
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Jasel
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Posted: Friday October 7th, 2005 04:41 |
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I think there are a few reasons why some black women have hard time getting good men.
1. Negative media portrayals. This in my opinion has a positive correlation with asian men. If you ask random guys who they think 3 of the hottest black women are I guarantee you you'll hear Beyonce, Tyra Banks, Halle Barry, or Alicia Keyes most of the time. Light skinned black women with alot of caucasianoid features. Also black women in movies or shows aren't really shown as down to earth for the most part. They have to be ghetto or upperclass sellouts. People see this and relate it to real life situations when they see it.
2. Black women are assertive. I say assertive, others say loud and obnoxious. Black women tend to be willing to go for what they want and aren't shy about trying to get it. Despite the "equality" of America alot of guys don't like that. Non-blacks anyway. Black women are the most likely to stand up for themselves and not take any garbage.
3. Black women seem to only go for black guys. There's nothing wrong with this, but there seems to be a much larger dating pool for black males because they seem more willing to date interracially. Which gives us more options. Good men aren't just limited to blacks.
4. There is a disproportionate amount of single black females with children. Which makes it alot harder to be in a stable relationship.
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Largo
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Posted: Friday October 7th, 2005 06:12 |
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You American=666 black woman are irritating me with the whole man shortage black men only want white woman I mean as a I stated before the very same black woman who are ranting and raving about black men dating white woman are the very same ones who're taking the white men and latino men at a tremendous rate.
Just recently when I was reading the forums of a black female site they were blaming their man shortage on latina/hispanic woman and I discovered through this site they're also even offended at black men getting with black woman from africa and other parts of the world. What makes you any different? Huh?????
Driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!! it's pretty sad one of Will Smith's newest movie "Hitch" the reason why he had to have a hispanic love interest is because in America it would offend viewers in the states while having a black love interest would offend europeans in their countries. Regarding movies, the thing that's really making me mad is that it isn't taboo when white men are with black woman in film and reality. In Oz, the character Lauren Velez(a black latina who also starred in a hit series New york undercover) portrayed, her father was killed by a white man named "O'reilly" but she dated him despite the fact that she knew he did it. Denzel Washington had to refuse a movie because it involved a white love interest yet I see black woman always making out with white/latino guys.
Popular excuse you make: He treat me better than my boyfriends well sometimes black woman are usually silent when a white man is abusing them or his stepchild for instance, the way my friend's white stepfather treated him would be considered emotional abuse/verbal abuse yet his mom[Black] made it seem like it was my friend had issues if it would of been a black stepfather she would of resented him. I guess it's just like how I read in the book "Soul on Ice" about how a black lady Eldridge Cleaver met always tried to fight him until he almost snapped and lashed at her with a knife he controlled his temper and gave her the knife and feel asleep on her lap. Well as soon as they broke up she found another man to fight with until she killed him. Once that same lady finally went out with a white man she never fought or abused him in any kind of way. Subsequently in the book Eldridge Cleaver was saying "deep down inside black woman want a white woman" "you can't trust a N****r b**ch they take kindness for weakness."
Now i have from, the obvious accounts of slavery and what my companions have said, reckon (probably about 70%) that all men posses some sexual desire for black women. Like our male counterparts we have become created significant sexual aspects through, song, dance, spokenword and physicality.
"In slavery men of different races raped black women (and many other women) or kept them as mistresses. I a recent discussion, my friends agreeed that black women were sexual objects of desire and still to this day are. Now if they detested these women so much then why did they have sex with them? Surely they could have made them interbreed with their black male counterparts? In addition i read Ivan Sertima's book on black women and there was factual evidence showing that black women in Europe were treated as Godesses and sexual objects prior to the slavery era.
A survey was done recently on what men want in their women. Their desires strangely matched the physical attributes of most black women.
Many women imitate the black women's physicality of:
Having enlargement of the bottocks
Having enlargement of the lips
Adding or desiring tan to enhance the pigmentation of their bodies.
Having plaits in their hair
Performing erotic dance movements derived from black people
This is not a subject which is recognized by the general public or even acknowledged.
Do you agree? Do you disagree?"
What this isn't enough or a bad sign of the double standard?????
you know what forget it...the latina lady friend only just use a cuete and bust a cap in a devil's ass.
I am an angry black male???? please the reason why we riot is because you know how they love to throw it on black people's faces.
How is it regarding to me being irritated with black woman?
Because this resentment towards black men dating black woman may have something to do with their(black woman's) self-esteem them being insecure about themselves over the media promoting euro-centric beauty standards but to have them incorporate afro-centric beauty standards must of been a slap in the face for blacks especially when blacks who were born with those features were being dehumanized by whites, hispanics, arabs, and asians just for having them. Yet you guys know this but are still feeling insecure to this day about yourselves. Also here's a qoute from that very same forum post:
"With the exception of East Asian men...I've noticed that ALL men seem to be obsessed with and take pride in acquiring a black woman as a lover.
They brag about it and see it as a badge of honor among themselves.
There used to be a saying among white men that you're not a real man unless you've slept with a black woman atleast once."
Now because of the double standard since non-black men including ones that show a hostility towards blacks are always taking away black woman then a lot of black men feel that well just take away all of the black, hispanic, arab, indian, and even east asian(oriental woman) this why american black men perceive to be dominating other races woman and keeping them for their own...this is one of the reasons people cannot stand blacks according to sources I came across. But these same racist folks are after black woman: In Sudan, Arabs call blacks over there gorillas but at the same time they're raping the black woman.
This is why I listen to a latina woman I had conversations with in the past about how once you discover the truth about the world around you you will never want to keep a smile on your face. I was like that and I had black, whites, hispanics, always comment on me and her never smiling. If we were in cali we would shot people like you because I am sick of the double standards I am sick of the deception for now on
f**k N****rS, f**k WHITE DEVILS(my latina has documented info to prove that whites are a devil race) f**k SPICS, f**k GOOKS, f**k ITALIANS(You black woman are always with italians the same people who openly show hostility towards black men all the time even dating the most racist ones)
f**k THE HUMAN RACE....
"But what's even worse than this perverted obsession with our women is the fact that some of our misguided bruthaz see nothing wrong with this and are even PROUD to hand their women over to our enemies and competitors.
Wasn't that the original purpose of pimping?
To stand on street corners and sell or negotiate the body of your woman off to the first white man who drove by? "
DUH!!!!!!! when blacks are with a white woman all hell breaks loose: You know what if I ever go out with a non-black woman and any fool male or female stares at you or even glances I will him or her up so bad they will wish they quit their little justifiable racism
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Jasel
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| Location: | Chicago, Illinois USA |
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Posted: Friday October 7th, 2005 06:28 |
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Largo wrote:
Driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!! it's pretty sad one of Will Smith's newest movie "Hitch" the reason why he had to have a hispanic love interest is because in America it would offend viewers in the states while having a black love interest would offend europeans in their countries. Regarding movies, the thing that's really making me mad is that it isn't taboo when white men are with black woman in film and reality. In Oz, the character Lauren Velez(a black latina who also starred in a hit series New york undercover) portrayed, her father was killed by a white man named "O'reilly" but she dated him despite the fact that she knew he did it. Denzel Washington had to refuse a movie because it involved a white love interest yet I see black woman always making out with white/latino guys.
Actually with Hitch they didn't make his love interest black because they didn't want it to be a "black movie". They wanted a larger target audience. And they didn't make his love interest white because they figured it would turn off to many white male viewers. Although the white guy hooking up with an asian chick didn't seem to set off any fireworks naturally (except with asian males, but no one cares I suppose).
Also I wouldn't accuse just black women of having double standards. Like you said there are plenty of white males who will sleep with black/asian/latina women. But if they see a male of another race fooling around with a white woman (sometimes they get fired up over asian women as well) then to them it's a problem.
Not ALL black women complain about black men dating IR. And the ones who do, have some justified complaints IMO. It's not a black and white issue (I mean that figuratively). One side isn't completley right and the other completely wrong.
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midwestgirl
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