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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 11:17 |
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Riight...I have posted on the advice forum before in relation to how I should deal with the vipers I am unfortunate enough to have to work with. Let me give you a bit of background - I am the only black person in a company of about 30 people and I have sensed a vibe since I started here in Jan '05. Nothing overt, but I get the distinct feeling that to be non-white and proud of it is not cool here, and no I have not got a chip on my shoulder or an attitude problem. These people clearly do not like black people who do not suck up to them and fall over themselves to 'fit in' with their white culture.
Out of that 30 I have colleagues from all over the world: Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Scotland, France, Germany, South Africa, Zimbabwe, India and China. Both of the 'Africans' are white though in case it wasn't obvious and the Indians (two) and the Chinese (one) seem to be as much an outcast as I am. Everyone else is one big happy family.
Anyway, this morning an email was sent round by one of the New Zealanders, in the subject line was: There's only one way to help the flood victims after Katrina and the picture was of Michael Hasselhoff (Baywatch lifeguard) and two obviously distressed black people up to their necks in floodwater, they looked as if they weren't far off drowning to be honest and the pic of Hasselhoff was superimposed in the middle of the very real picture of this sad scene. In the body of the email the New Zealander had typed: This is a bit naughty...hope no-one is offended.
Needless to say I am deeply offended because I feel a 'joke' was being made at the expense of the suffering of those people in the picture and the victims of the disaster. It is not a joke I feel would have been made had the majority of the victims been white New Zealanders and although I am not a black person from the Gulf Coast I have taken this personally as the only black person in the office. What shall I do now? I know people often make jokes which are in bad taste in times like this but I just think that some things are too grim to be joked about, like the situation in Niger for example. I feel to go over to her and ask her if she felt sending that email around was in good taste but I fear the scene may turn ugly... and I need my job and also need to stay out of jail. I really do feel to hold the b**ch down and put some heavy duty staples in her face with the big staple gun. I am not likely to receive support from my boss or the person above her because I have already seen how things work round here and who the 'favoured' ones are.
The person who sent the email is leaving at the end of the month to go back Down Under but I feel that this kind of insensitivity should not be ignored. What about the next time someone else wants to do this kind of thing? The fact that I am black and could well have family caught up in this tragedy (for all they know) should have prevented that b**ch sending this email round but it didn't... which makes me wonder if they are taking me for some kind of punk. I wonder if the hostilities will gain pace if I let this go?? She obviously believed that some people could find it offensive but still chose to send it. The person most likely to find it offensive would have to be me as the victims in the photo and myself share the same ethnicity/are of the same race, unlike anyone else in this company. I am convinced this fact did not go unnoticed.
Can people please tell me the best way to handle this? I do not want to come off as the 'Oversensitive Black Girl With A Chip On Her Shoulder' so would rather people not advise me to get all ghetto on her ass. I don't want to turn this into a 'race issue' even though I suspect it is, but I'm not sure what other angle I could approach it from. The reason I don't want to make accusations of 'racism' is because I know that many people just switch off and become ultra-defensive when they hear that and I could end up not solving a damn thing and just making things worse.
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jett Black
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 11:41 |
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I would go right to the top,whoever is most senior in your company and complain and say this kind of gallows humour is unacceptable.
Yes,it may further ostracize you from your "colleagues" but I imagine you are not begging friends with that lot anyway.
If the person you complain too at the top does not take action you actually have grounds for a lawsuit and believe me they wont want to go there.
So even whilst the person you complain too may not actually give a rats ass,they have to be seen to be doing something about it for the "face" of the company.
And after your complaint has been lodged and addressed I think you will find that this kind of insensitivity,bad-taste,racism will not be allowed to circulate anymore.
If it continues...................all I can say is KER-CHING!
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 12:05 |
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Thanks for responding JettBlack, no one else seems to have any advice! Well I just checked company policy on email usage and it is GROSS MISCONDUCT to send offensive emails around. It's a shame the girl is leaving cos I could have pressed for her to be sacked otherwise. Do you think I should send a general email around in response to that email saying I did find it offensive and would rather not be included when stuff like that is being sent in future? Or is that too soft a response??
I am not at all concerned with being ostracized further, I ain't a part of the gang anyway, but at the same time I do not want to make too big a fuss and get them all wanting me out...maybe start checking into my use of the internet while at work and ting, lol.
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jett Black
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 12:13 |
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Me I would go straight to the top.
But if you are worried about your internet activities being further scrutinized as a result then I would choose the softer option you suggested.
And maybe a few "choice words" for the cretin who circulated the e-mail, before she leaves.
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shopaholik
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 12:17 |
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| dont send any email back to them, just print the email and speak to your line manager privately and tell them what you propose to do. you will feel better knowing that you done what you could and you didnt let her get away with it. frenchconnectionuk what they might be like afterwards keep your head up and dont let anyone make you feel like you have to leave a job especially if you do like where you work. make sure you let us know what happened.
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 12:30 |
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I just sent an email to everyone saying I found it really offensive and not at all funny and although I am aware some people choose to send round 'bad taste' emails after such disasters - I would prefer not to receive any...
CAN YOU BELIEVE the gyal replied within seconds with this: well you were warned it could be offensive and you chose to open it.
No apology, no acknowledgment of wrongdoing, nut'n. She is obviously not aware of company policy, as the onus does not seem to be on employees not opening potentially offensive emails but on employees not sending them around in the first place. Now I'm getting even more BEX and I just hope she doesn't say jack to me about this cos I swear I do not know how I will respond, I never liked the girl from long time and I haven't bust no one's ass for them in years. The adrenaline is pumping through my veins and you know what that's for...fight or flight. Guess which one of them my brain is telling me to do?????
JettBlack and Shopaholik - I should have followed your advice and not responded the way I did, now I'll have to take it further anyway it seems.
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jett Black
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 12:39 |
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Im afraid now you will HAVE TO go to someone senior as this will rest heavily on your soul.
The dyam cheek of that woman.
Im feeling your rage Ef.
She cant be allowed to get away with that especially as it falls under the heading of gross misconduct.
And Ef when you are in a work situation that is anyway unsatisfactory you should always be shopping your CV around anyway,if you havnt started already I suggest that after your complaint you do.
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jazztalking
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 12:46 |
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As a senior manager in a public sector org I sometime get grief from white/black/asian colleagues. I no longer bother with direct action (unless its discplinary procedures) or even complaining to boss..I just:speak down to them in a very patronising manner/
do not socialise i.e go out drinking or eating with the creeps; do not sign their birthdays and get well cards/do not contribute to their collections/ do not support them in meetings just for the hell of it . LOL
I think you should have ignored that woman. Everyone KNOWS that she is unpleasant and that she WANTED THE ATTENTION!!
Next time, play the long game.... work out your LONG TERM strategy to humiliate the enemy.
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 13:06 |
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I will have to do that JettBlack. Will have to take it further and will have to get out of this place. Didn't want to move on so quickly really because the parent company is one I've wanted to work with for a while. I felt that I could move into one of the other companies after a couple years here and that was my original plan. My dream job could be within my grasp within say 5 years if I can engineer a move into another one of the companies under the umbrella of the parent company, and I would also be in a better position to be considered for a job if I stay put cos they are big on internal promotion. If I leave then I could only apply to jobs within this company from the position of an outsider, after the job has already been offered to those within it(where I am now!) It's not impossible but I just feel I would be better off trying to go after my ideal job from within. My main problem with being here is that my job involves having to go abroad with these dutty people once a year and it ain't no two day business, it's for few weeks still. I did it already for this year and I NEARLY DIED. Isolation and loneliness almost kilt me, never been more aware of being the odd one out in my life. I know that ain't always a bad thing but I did not enjoy the experience one iota. If I gave you all the details of how it was you would weep for me.
Ideally I need to leave here before I have to do it all again next year but you know how it is with job hunting, it can be such a hassle, especially when you've just gone thru all that fairly recently as I have when leaving my last job. Also is the feeling that I should not allow myself to be forced out of a job before I am completely ready to move on just cos the people don't appear to love me. I would rather stay here for another year, complete certain projects, gain some more experience etc, before going for another job within the company - not my branch of it though! Also, I have become so disillusioned over the last couple years that I don't think I will be happy in any company where I am the only black person or one of very few, the industry I'm in (media) means that will most likely be the case anywhere I go. I also don't want to be in a company that has any number of bounty's with whom I have to accept as my 'allies' - so it's hard. The bottom line is I really don't want to work around white people anymore, I could probably do it if they were a minority but my experiences show me that I'm unlikely to have a job in the media where they are a minority. My experience also shows me that the kind of white person who often works in the media is the kind of white person that I will always despise. I know that not every one of them is bad but 'media people' are a certain type and I do not like them much I have found. I need to either find a black-owned media company to work for or come out of this country altogether for a predominantly black country where I can work amongst the people I prefer. What's the alternative? Look a job in a different industry perhaps, why should I give up on my dream though?? See how easy it is for people to become angry and bitter?? LOL
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Lion
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 13:06 |
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The girl did it because she is leaving. What she's doing is creating an atmosphere to leave you behind in it. Don't fall for it Efengee...
Just possibly send a message or joke around about the London bombing or the twin towers, which involved the death of many whites.
Cite the joke, and let them know you find those jokes to be in bad taste as it involves the suffering of human beings. And that you would not have sent such a joke round a week after the London bombings.
Say this jokes merely highlights the respect some have for life.
Send it in an e-mail, in the subject heading, put... if offended do not open....
They all will read it...
Keep all the emails...
And leave it at that.
Love your spirit by the way, but leave the ghetto bizness for another time... lol
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 13:12 |
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jazztalking wrote: As a senior manager in a public sector org I sometime get grief from white/black/asian colleagues. I no longer bother with direct action (unless its discplinary procedures) or even complaining to boss..I just:speak down to them in a very patronising manner/
do not socialise i.e go out drinking or eating with the creeps; do not sign their birthdays and get well cards/do not contribute to their collections/ do not support them in meetings just for the hell of it . LOL
I think you should have ignored that woman. Everyone KNOWS that she is unpleasant and that she WANTED THE ATTENTION!!
Next time, play the long game.... work out your LONG TERM strategy to humiliate the enemy.
Jazztalking, I believe it was the fact I refused to socialise with them that really turned them against me in the first place. If I could have gone along and kept up with them and their incessant boozing I could have been everyone's best friend. lol One of the Asian guys got drunk in their company and behaved really out of character (I wasn't there) and he seems to have gained their respect from this. When they really started to aggravate me a while back I was plotting to go out with them get drunk to loosen up my inhibitions... and start fighting them, then blame the drink...but I bottled it, lol.
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 13:16 |
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oh sh*t babes got her too late, my advice was going to be the same as Jazz Talking's take the long view and be careful.
pick you r battles very carefully in this game its so easy to win the battle and lose the war.
you have to be a ninja in office politics IMHO not a street fighter.
othres may feel differnely. 
btw anyway u could post the pic on here for the rest of us to see??
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jett Black
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 13:19 |
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Well Ef,if you are gonna play the long game as JT suggests then you may have to grit your teeth on this one.
If you have the composure,confront this cretin say your dignified piece and move on..dont worry it will surely get back to the rest of those cretins whilst they downing their umpteenth lager.
In the meantime operate like Louis Armstrong did,skinning your teeth in their face whilst slowly poisoning their coffee(metaphorically of course)
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shopaholik
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 13:39 |
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efenjee wrote: Didn't want to move on so quickly really because the parent company is one I've wanted to work with for a while. My dream job could be within my grasp within say 5 years if I can engineer a move into another one of the companies under the umbrella of the parent company, and I would also be in a better position to be considered for a job if I stay put cos they are big on internal promotion.
try and stick it out,this is your future you are talking about! situations like this make you stronger when you withstand these problems but do it in a diplomatic fashion, you dont need to rude to get your point across. be a bit selfish who cares what they think?! you dont need them, come in do your work and go home and if they start wondering why your so quiet simply smile and say im fine thank you and turn back to your computer (they will be even more confused LOL!)
being the odd one out in my life.
you are not odd and you dont need them to define you.
The bottom line is I really don't want to work around white people anymore
neither do I LOL!
why should I give up on my dream though??
exactly you cant and you shouldnt! there are going to be many obstacles you have to climb to get where you want im sure a lot successful black people will tell you that. be positive and think others who would have had to overcome racism to get where they wanted i.e. colin powell,condoleeza rice, halle berry (probably not the best example) but you catch my drift.
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 14:11 |
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How do you copy and paste a picture? I tried but nothing appeared.
Last edited on Friday September 9th, 2005 14:15 by
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 14:23 |
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| I worked out how to do it but the file size is too big to attach because it's over 102400 bytes apparently. Anyway it's just a photo of the disaster scene, two black women clearly visible who appear to be struggling to stay above water and a superimposed photo of Hasselhoff posing in the middle with his life-saving float in his hand
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NativeTongue
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 14:32 |
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effenjee email it to me at
thenativetongue@gmail.com and ill put it up.
Last edited on Friday September 9th, 2005 14:32 by NativeTongue
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Lion
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 14:36 |
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here's a jokes..
two arabs walk into JD sports.. One Arab picks up a sports satchell and puts it on his back, turns to his friend and says "Does my bomb look big in this".
Now a joke like that a day after the London bombings.. Would be in bad taste.. wouldn't you think ?.
They say pick your battles carefully... This one seems like a good one to me.
First off, if this person as not been reprimanded by management.. You reprimand her publically via the email and the list of recipients she sent this mail too. If she tries to defend it, and you send your bad taste joke along and then further explain why it is wrong. Management cannot reprimand you as they would have to say something to the first person that sent the joke. And you will setting a precedant... You got racist jokes, keep it to yourself.. Management will know how your set and those in the list will too.
Black people and their silence amazes me....
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Lion
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 14:39 |
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However i do know that these people can make your life hell at work, so think about it before you do anything.
I'm the type of person that would do exactly what i posted.. Actually done something to that effect already. 
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saywone1
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 15:19 |
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DIDNT I TELL YOU ABOUT THESE PEOPLE!  DIDNT I TELL YOU ABOUT THESE PEOPLE! DIDNT I TELL YOU TO TELL THEM GO FU.CK OFF!NOW LOOK WAS GONE APPENED!
MONEYMONEYMONEYMMMMOOOONEEY! MMAAOOOONNNEY!
GIRL IF I WAS YOU ID BE CASHING IN .......SSSTAANDARD, THATS A BLATANT GROSS MISCONDUCT.....THE SH.IT SHOULD BE IN THE PAPERS, THATS NEWS PAPER MATERIAL YOU DONT KNOW!!! THEN GET TO KNOW, THATS THE TYPE OF THING YOU READ ABOUT.
DOESNT MATTER IF THE GIRL IS LEAVING, SHE STILL EMPLOYEED, YOU BETTER JUMP ON THAT QUICK.
KEEP ALL EVIDENCE AND LOGS TO BACK YOUR CASE UP, TAKE IT TO THE TOP MAN RUNNING THE BUILDING AND THE TOP MAN WHO RUNS THE COMPANY.
IF YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TAKE IT TO THE PAPERS OR COURTS, GET PAID GIRL.
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Constant Quality
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 15:20 |
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 ker ching
2 words
employment tribunal if they ignore your distress and anguish
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 15:41 |
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When people take the p*ss out of others disregarding how insensitive it can be, I usually give them a taste of their own medicine. It's a shame you didn't send something back immediately in this vain- the time lost will probably make it seem too 'heavy'.
For example, if that girl has a particular physical attribute that she might feel sensitive about, I would cc a joke regarding that. Afer all, it's all fun and games, right?
That way your partaking in the office game and you can in no way be seen as being a sour-puss AND you've told her to eff off.
Basically, sticks and stones DO break bones and words DO hurt. I have found this approach very refreshing when dealing with dumb people. That way, i don't have to sit and analyse why this person said this or that whilst she's enjoying after -work drinks with not a care in the world.
Try it, you'll be astounded at the results
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 15:44 |
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Efenjee: unfortunately I was out this morning had i been around I would echo the advice given by many and that is hold your power dry...However BEFORE you embark on ATTACK mode can i suggest you gauge the level of support you have for your view...because you against a whole company will not be a pretty site..
Further some people has infered that you claim Constructive dismissal if your views are dismissed by your employers..can I say that taking your emoyers to a tribunial is NOT a easy task nor is a quick process...so BEFORE go down this road make very sure you want pin you colours to this issue..because trust me it will get rough very rough indeed...
Final point..please please I know your vex and you want them to know..but sometime that is WORSE thing to do, not only do you let them know how to attack you..You also utimately make yourself very vulnerable...please be considered in your actions in front of these people..
remember its not just about the here and now..these people could mess up your future business...
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saywone1
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Posted: Friday September 9th, 2005 15:46 |
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Kunjufu wrote: Efenjee: unfortunately I was out this morning had i been around I would echo the advice given by many and that is hold your power dry...However BEFORE you embark on ATTACK mode can i suggest you gauge the level of support you have for your view...because you against a whole company will not be a pretty site..
Further some people has infered that you claim Constructive dismissal if your views are dismissed by your employers..can I say that taking your emoyers to a tribunial is NOT a easy task nor is a quick process...so BEFORE go down this road make very sure you want pin you colours to this issue..because trust me it will get rough very rough indeed...
Final point..please please I know yo |
