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trunk
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:01 |
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I was having a conversation with a couple friends and they both agreed that it wasnt very classy for a woman to make the first move ,or make sexual moves on a guy.
I tend to disagree,as there are some pretty confident women out there that is not afraid to make it obvious they like a guy,and will make a move on him if it looks like he`s missing the signs, but that doesnt mean she lacks class,or is promiscious.
However,I am also an old fashioned kind of guy,and think its a man`s place to make the first move,women use very subtle `signs to let a man know she is interested,that should be enough to alert the man that she`s interested,....but if she start coming on strong and dropping lyrics on the guy to get him interested then she`s lost the art of subtle seduction.
Would you all think less of a woman if she approached and made it plain she wanted you like crazy,and was even prepared to tell you what she wanted to do to you in the sack...??
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basic_meo
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:16 |
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trunk wrote:
I was having a conversation with a couple friends and they both agreed that it wasnt very classy for a woman to make the first move ,or make sexual moves on a guy.
I tend to disagree,as there are some pretty confident women out there that is not afraid to make it obvious they like a guy,and will make a move on him if it looks like he`s missing the signs, but that doesnt mean she lacks class,or is promiscious.
However,I am also an old fashioned kind of guy,and think its a man`s place to make the first move,women use very subtle `signs to let a man know she is interested,that should be enough to alert the man that she`s interested,....but if she start coming on strong and dropping lyrics on the guy to get him interested then she`s lost the art of subtle seduction.
Would you all think less of a woman if she approached and made it plain she wanted you like crazy,and was even prepared to tell you what she wanted to do to you in the sack...??
If a man can do it why can women!...
if you have the right to find food for yourself they should do the same
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Miss Brighter Days
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:25 |
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I think thats a good question. Because when it comes to gender roles sometimes things get messed up. Where men and women are left a bit baffed as to who should be doing what when.
I would really love to know what guys think of women who make the first move.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:28 |
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Depends on the approach (wow that makes me sound like a girl LOL).
If she is brazen or being obvious then thats a major turn off right there. Dont like being hunted like prey...
However once I arrived at a dance about an hour before my friends, we came seperately and so I was sitting on my own for a while just sipping my beer watching people and a nice chick came and started chatting to me. Not flirting, not being sexual or nothing, just chatting... Was impressed with her. She actually went there on her own. She worked next door and just wanted a release from work so... not something I could have done. So in the right circumstances and done properly... why not?
She might not see you again and not want to miss her chance... what if the object of her attention is one of those super shy dudes, he saw the signals but wont act. Should she let him go then? Hmmm He might be right for her but too shy for the approach.
Ummm
When we talk about women chatting up men though, we have to consider that men like to think that their women likes them because they have something special. Therefore getting to make my woman my woman must be a challenge. It cant be too easy because then the guy thinks "well how many other dudes could have said the same old thing I just did and get to here?"
If she approaches him it reduces the challenge and ultimately the feeling that you achieved something being with her.
As for making sexual advances... hmm if that is YOUR girl then its all gravy. OF SHE DOES!!! Not a strange girl though... if she is attractive you might go tru but would never take her seriously.
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Lucas...
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:30 |
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it depends on how the woman does it....
if its in a sleazy way.... some women are just too direct (uh.... nuh)
but if its done in a tasteful way ..like startin a convo... etc etc... its all good
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efenjee
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:43 |
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@ Lucas: what if she starts a convo...with the intention of it leading to something more, as opposed to starting a convo with the intention of just being friendly?
Most women would need to be fairly direct if they were making a move, cos just talking to someone is not actually making a move and should never be interpreted as such.
Do you mean that a woman should never make it clear that she finds you attractive and would like to be more than platonic friends? Is that too direct?
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trunk
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:51 |
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DrunkMonkey wrote: Depends on the approach (wow that makes me sound like a girl LOL).
If she is brazen or being obvious then thats a major turn off right there. Dont like being hunted like prey...
However once I arrived at a dance about an hour before my friends, we came seperately and so I was sitting on my own for a while just sipping my beer watching people and a nice chick came and started chatting to me. Not flirting, not being sexual or nothing, just chatting... Was impressed with her. She actually went there on her own. She worked next door and just wanted a release from work so... not something I could have done. So in the right circumstances and done properly... why not?
LOl,..it reminds me of the time I was at a disco,...I was standing there looking down at the dancefloor and minding my own business when I glanced across at this girl,she crooked her finger and beckoned over,....I looked around to see who she was calling,..but there was no one there..lol,....So i turned back to her she jabbed her finger at me and made it very plain it was me she was after....lol.
She might not see you again and not want to miss her chance... what if the object of her attention is one of those super shy dudes, he saw the signals but wont act. Should she let him go then? Hmmm He might be right for her but too shy for the approach.
I agree with you,then again,I think its all in the approach,I wouldnt want a woman coming over to me,grabbing me by the scruff of my neck and demanding a dance,or telling me she`s been eyeing me up and wouldnt mind her legs wrapped around my neck....lol.
Ummm
When we talk about women chatting up men though, we have to consider that men like to think that their women likes them because they have something special. Therefore getting to make my woman my woman must be a challenge. It cant be too easy because then the guy thinks "well how many other dudes could have said the same old thing I just did and get to here?"
Thats just it,..we all like to be flattered,but at the back of your mind its always the question of is this how she acts all the time,..guys like a challenge,and if the woman doesnt present much of a challenge then thats half the fun gone out the chase....lol
If she approaches him it reduces the challenge and ultimately the feeling that you achieved something being with her.
As for making sexual advances... hmm if that is YOUR girl then its all gravy. OF SHE DOES!!! Not a strange girl though... if she is attractive you might go tru but would never take her seriously.
Have to agree again,if she`s your girl and start coming off with some funky independent sexual moves then who`s to complain,....or if a strange woman comes up and started making moves it would be easier to submit if she`s very attractive,....but you`re still gonna think she`s too easy.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:52 |
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Efenjee
You mean if you wanted him but how to go about saying it in a conversation?
Simple... DONT
I dont mean flirt and play games (im the last person to advocate that obtuse as I am), I mean simply chat, have fun and have a nice conversation. If he wants to get to know you better then he will ask to. He will like that you are friendly and fun while remaining a certain distance at the same time.
Dont be giggling at silly jokes, patting hands and stroking hair or any of that other nonsense... annoying. Simply chat and relax like you was with a good friend of yours. Then he will think "wow I really get on well with her, what a vibe".
ANY chick on road can flirt and act pretty but finding people who vibe with you like that is rare.
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Lucas...
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 15:56 |
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efenjee wrote: @ Lucas: what if she starts a convo...with the intention of it leading to something more, as opposed to starting a convo with the intention of just being friendly?
Most women would need to be fairly direct if they were making a move, cos just talking to someone is not actually making a move and should never be interpreted as such.
Do you mean that a woman should never make it clear that she finds you attractive and would like to be more than platonic friends? Is that too direct?
---------------------------------------------
@efenjee
lets be real... its very rare you find people approaching one another for the reason of being platonic..
ive always had a theory attractive ...man.... attractive woman.... straight... cant be platonic... what do they have in common... painting nails? changing tyres? workin on old cars?... there are almost always underlying factors but thats another topic.
no i have no problem with women approaching...and havin a convo.. which may lead onto comments like... oh i think your cool... etc etc...
what i term as sleazy are coments like.. just walkin straight up to a man and saying straight up
-------------
u know what yeah i wanna f**ck ur brains out
or
i wanna lick ... etc etc
you get the hint...
that to me is sleazy
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 16:03 |
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Lucas... wrote: efenjee wrote:
what i term as sleazy are coments like.. just walkin straight up to a man and saying straight up
-------------
u know what yeah i wanna f**ck ur brains out
or
i wanna lick ... etc etc
sheettt!!! some guys have all the luck...lol.
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efenjee
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 16:09 |
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Lucas... wrote: @efenjee
lets be real... its very rare you find people approaching one another for the reason of being platonic..
many women (myself included) enjoy chatting. I could quite easily strike up a convo with someone who I did not want to get involved with either platonically or intimately - just out of boredom or to kill time. I could find something about a person interesting and then start talking to them without expecting them to think it was a sexual come on or lead to some big platonic friendship. If that person was you, you would be convinced I was chatting you up in a non-sleazy way?
Also, I do not know many men who would approach a woman with the comments you gave as examples - so I doubt whether many women would either.
What I'm asking you is...is it too direct for a woman to approach you (a man) in exactly the same way that you approach women when you are looking to get with that woman? Are there a different set of rules for how a woman should approach a man? Can she do it just like a man would...or would that be too direct for a woman?
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Abissinia
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 16:40 |
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Lucas... wrote: what i term as sleazy are coments like.. just walkin straight up to a man and saying straight up
-------------
u know what yeah i wanna f**ck ur brains out
or
i wanna lick ... etc etc
you get the hint...
that to me is sleazy
Say it isn't sooooo  ? Are you serious? i can't believe a woman would ever step to a man like that, or would they?
Anyway , i have only ever made a move on one dude and it was all for a laugh at a friends birthday celebration at a club... (you know what girls night outs are like) anyway this cute guy walks in looking completely out of place in his Gray suit, brief case, scarf and umbrella ... lol we thought it'll be fun to make him blush. I got the short draw to chat to him, so when he was trying to pass i stopped him and asked him if he'd like to dance with my friend who was having a bday  . That was it.
They never actually got to dance with each other, as she was other wise engaged  instead he walked us to the cab office at the end of the night.
Cut story short the guy and i ended up becoming friends, funny thing he still mentions how i step to him in a club pretty much every time we chat and to anyone who'd care to listen... lol.
But if it was for real i could never step to a guy the way i did, might send out some signs but step to him .
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Shariff
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 17:02 |
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Several times, mostly in college, women have said to me, "you know, so and so likes you." Or "how come you never stepped to me before?" Or worse, find out years later that so and so really "liked" me, when she always gave off a "don't even think about steppin to me" vibe. If I get a sign of interest, I'll respond. If not, I won't.
I understand why most women would never make that first move. What I don't understand is why they send signals of "not interested" when they in fact are.
I don't get that.
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Miss Brighter Days
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 17:47 |
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Shariff - i think it comes from that playing hard to get thing. Loads of women believe the harder you act, the harder a man will work, and really appreciate getting you in the end.
Its actually true, if you strike up a conversation with a guy without flirting, how do you guys know if the girl is interested or just passing time.
Also - is there anything wrong with a woman approaching a man like a man approaches a woman?
I do believe its different for women when they are approaching a guy.
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Butterfly B
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 18:05 |
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How about if a girl approached the guy and they had a really good vibe and everytime they since each other since, they get on really well but the guy never asked for the girl number. Whats up with dat !
[ yes u guess right it happen 2 me  ]
By the way I would only approached a guy if i knew he kinda like me, if i see him looking at me a couple of time before. Sumtimes I feel that guys want girls to approach them u can c it in their body language!!
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oo9
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 19:09 |
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hmmmm interesting thoughts! I dnt see the problem in a girl walking up to me and having a decent chat, only problem is where she comes full on, yuck!!! As for me, if the girl doesnt make it a lil obvious that she's feeling me, I aint walking over to her, need to be 100% certain. A smile and a submissive bow never fails!!!
oo9 
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-Amt-
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 19:18 |
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| haha damn i'm getting some tips from this sheeit!
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 19:20 |
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Hmmm, i have yet to do this......i guess am still too old fashioned in that i believe if a man is really into you, and i mean REALLY into you, then he will pluck up the courage to come and chat to you.
Most men are hunters, take the hunting out of the meeting and you are left with a man who is unsure about wether to run or pretend he is going into a coma....lol
Having said that, it all depends i the individuals i guess....
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 19:20 |
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u know what yeah i wanna f**ck ur brains out
or
i wanna lick ... etc etc
you get the hint...
that to me is sleazy
They come across as desparate. Many women do this even if they don't want to admit it.
It's just that some of them choose to do so blatantly, which takes the fun out of the whole thing.
Specially at Uni.
No women would appretiate if we bypass page one and let our pants hang down low so you get a full view of page 2, so why make the first move and start sleazy child talk?
wait it will come.
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-Amt-
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 19:22 |
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And oo9 i'm with you on that one, just because a girl makes a little little sign it doesn't mean you gotta jump into conclusion. I need at least 4 or 5 signs to step in there.
But another thing is it's better finding out the answer than not trying at all.
But hell, i need signs, end of story
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Lucas...
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 22:28 |
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efenjee wrote: Lucas... wrote: @efenjee
lets be real... its very rare you find people approaching one another for the reason of being platonic..
many women (myself included) enjoy chatting. I could quite easily strike up a convo with someone who I did not want to get involved with either platonically or intimately - just out of boredom or to kill time. I could find something about a person interesting and then start talking to them without expecting them to think it was a sexual come on or lead to some big platonic friendship. If that person was you, you would be convinced I was chatting you up in a non-sleazy way?
Also, I do not know many men who would approach a woman with the comments you gave as examples - so I doubt whether many women would either.
What I'm asking you is...is it too direct for a woman to approach you (a man) in exactly the same way that you approach women when you are looking to get with that woman? Are there a different set of rules for how a woman should approach a man? Can she do it just like a man would...or would that be too direct for a woman?
...
@efenjee
to be honest im not really a lyrics man... roses are red violets are blue... did it hurt when u fell from heaven kind of guy... i usually get approached more than i approach... cause im a quiet dude... but... whn i approach im never sleezy... and some women do know how to approach a guy in a mmmm way you know whats the deal but she isnt like being glaringly obvious.. but with pleasant light conversation.. in a way what they do is.... drop very subtle hints .... and see how you respond and that i find sexy...
but the i want to do this to u in bed... though is the ultimate scenario... i find it sleazy
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 22:46 |
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| Women who approach men first are confident and I think that's very attractive and a turn on.
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Posted: Tuesday May 10th, 2005 22:55 |
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Abissinia wrote: Lucas... wrote: what i term as sleazy are coments like.. just walkin straight up to a man and saying straight up
-------------
u know what yeah i wanna f**ck ur brains out
or
i wanna lick ... etc etc
you get the hint...
that to me is sleazy
Say it isn't sooooo ? Are you serious? i can't believe a woman would ever step to a man like that, or would they?
....mmmm
yeah im serious abs.... and it happens quite often as well and sometimes by older women
But if it was for real i could never step to a guy the way i did, might send out some signs but step to him .
i like that as well when a lady sends out signals... eye contact smile... note...
but there is nothing wrong with talkin to a guy... in a non sleazy way...
for eg..
hi i noticed you when u walked in... nice shirt.... or shoes or something along those lines..
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Posted: Wednesday May 11th, 2005 00:36 |
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