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Crystal
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 11:12 |
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I am a Black female divorced parent. I am disillusioned with the US and, for a number of reasons, I am seriously contemplating a move to the UK. My daughter will be ready to go to university in 2 years. I am looking for a university with high academic standards and a good multi-cultural mix including a lot of West Indian students.
Any suggestions?
What is the job market like? How about the cost of living? I would also want to find a good solid evangelical church that has a good racial mixture. What is Holy Trinity Brompton like?
Also, I would like to move somewhere in the country within easy commuting distance to London. I have a love of equestrian sports and I would like to continue to enjoy that.
For those of you who live in the UK, what do you like about living there? What are the pitfalls?
Thanks in advance for any advice that you can provide.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 11:33 |
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The cost of living is prohibitively high.
Equestrian sports??  You need a lot of money to pursue hobbies like that.
The idea of living just outside London and commuting sounds good but EVERYONE does that these days. That Sattelite towns like St Albans and Wycombe might be nice I suppose but travelling cost is quite high (I wouldnt even think of driving).
The Universitys vary in quality from the excellent to the questionable. The fees here shouldnt be a problem in comparison to those in US so that should be OK.
Finding a church like you describe would be absolutely NO problem whatsoever, there are plenty. The Job market... At the moment its ok but this depends entirely upon you and what you are qualified and experieced enough to do.  Also what job you are looking for...
Quality of life is also relative. Depends on where you are in America. If you are living in downtwon DC or St Louis Id say yeah come over LOL but if you already live in a nice quiet corner of America then I would stay where I was. London is no safe haven...
Weather wise, can you put up with grey skys all year round broken up by 2 weeks of summer? We get very excited with our 2 weeks you know! On the plus side
No hurricanes
No tornados
No earthquakes
No snow that covers your knees
Any more questions?
Bare in mind everything is relative. So until we know what sort of place you are living in in USA then I cant really help.
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Saida.M
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 12:01 |
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If you come here, you'd find yourself in HELL!
You can't run away from your troubles.
They'd find you.
Last edited on Thursday March 10th, 2005 12:02 by Saida.M
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Crystal
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 12:23 |
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I live in the country near a city that, unfortunately, is predominantly White. I don't own a horse but I do ride every week. There is nothing for Black women here. The social life is nil. The White guys won't even think of dating a Black woman and there are few Black men around. When I do run into a Black man either he is already married or he is in a very low paying job like a busboy in a restaurant or a kitchen helper in a hotel.  I don't relish the though of living in poverty or having to support someone especially with university bills for my daughter right around the corner. Definitely have to re-locate if I am to have a hope in hell of ever getting married again. From what I have read, demographics are definitely better in the UK. More West Indian professionals and also more men of other races open to interracial dating.
In terms of jobs, I run my own business but I have a lot of corporate experience. I suppose the only way that I could get an opportunity to move to the UK wold be to get a job with a company over there.
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The Watcher
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 12:28 |
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Hmmm
*sighs*
well
hmm
Is there nowhere in US that you could move to? Somewhere with more black people, how about Atlanta?
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Crystal
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 12:32 |
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Please give some suggestions re: universities, towns, etc. Also a sample budget
- rent
- transportation (is the train system good enough to commute for example)
- car
- groceries for 2
- tuition
I guess a town with a university close to the country and London would be ideal.
Need some specific suggestions for churches too.
Thanks.
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Crystal
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 13:25 |
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As stated, I am disillusioned with the US for a number of reasons that I won't get into right now and want to explore the UK to see if it's a viable option for me.
DrunkMonkey wrote: Hmmm
*sighs*
well
hmm
Is there nowhere in US that you could move to? Somewhere with more black people, how about Atlanta?
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The Watcher
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 13:49 |
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Okay Crystal.
You will find London perhaps to your taste but I must stress the expense. The tuition is only around 1000 for UK nationals (you want to be naturalised) its more for overseas students (considerably so) so thats something to look in to.
There is a large black community in London, unfortunately yes, some of them are open to inter-racial dating though I hope that wont be an option for you. You can sample peoples opinions on such matters here
http://www.blackchat.co.uk/theblackforum/forum28/119-1.html
You said you are looking for successful Carribeans, you should find them in abundance London does have a lot of succesful Africans too. It is however a big city with all the big city problems of crime and so on. Dont be fooled into thinking otherwise, I cant stress that enough. Its not like 'four weddings and a funeral' or 'Notting hill' anymore than 'sex and the city' is the reality of New York.
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LadyDay
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Posted: Thursday March 10th, 2005 18:38 |
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http://www.ucas.ac.uk/
the link above is the universities and colleges admissions service. the majority of uni courses have to be applied for via ucas. they list course information and stuff on unis
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Bredder Tukoma
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Posted: Friday March 11th, 2005 13:57 |
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Crystal
Out of the frying pan into the fire methinks. Still dont let my pessimism put you off.
If I lived in the US Id be looking to escape too no doubt. 2 weeks holiday/year/ for me alone is reason not to live in the place.
Dont move to London. Its one of the most expensive places on earth.
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the soul machine
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Posted: Friday March 11th, 2005 15:11 |
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londons expensive. better get your£180- £200 per week ready for a good 2 bedroom apartment to rent . and bills might just make you wana stab somebody. other places in the uk might be cheaper and you get abigger size house for cheaper prices.
the weathers not that nice.
but londons cool cos you got many social stuff to do. again if you can afford it.
as far as i know places like atlanta and maryland are o.k places for black people in u.s. i know a few people in uk that would jet out if they got the chance.
newyorks just like london but as a freind told me newyork is a big sh*t hole
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Crystal
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 12:21 |
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Okay so clearly living in London would not be a viable option unless I had a WELL paying job. What would one have to earn to live comfortabl in London (just curious). How about something close to London....say a small cozy town about 45 minutes or so away and easily accessible to London by train or car. What would some of those towns be?
Still looking for a budget for a mother and a teeenage girl.
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jazztalking
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 18:57 |
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So Crystal, you live "unfortunately" in a predominately white area, and you seem to look down your noses at working class black men? Well given that the UK is the most multicultural European city, you will have to get used to mixing socially with white people. The upshot is that you might even get a proposal from one! About hoping to mayy a black man..well middle class blacks are pretty thin on the ground in blighty, so you will have to rejig your priorities and accept that true love cound be found among the plebians.
Britainm however, is no soft option:
Institutionally racist
Negative about success
Damp, grey and wet
Few parking spaces
REALLY HIGH COST OF LIVING
High Rents and Expensive Mortgages
Home of the Daily Mail newspaper
Whites are insular and hates Johnny Foreigner, especially blacks and refugees
Asians will get on your nerves
Blacks will get on your nerves
MIscarriage of Justice is the norm for blacks
Poll Tax/Congestion Charge whill have you fuming
Media representation of Blacks especially on TV (Channel 4) will make your hair stand on end
Darcus Howe
Continuing failure of black boys in school will have you gnawing at your knuckles
Dianne Abott
Paul Boateng etc
Stop and Search...
Now, are you sure you want to come here??
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Crystal
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 19:52 |
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jazztalking wrote: So Crystal, you live "unfortunately" in a predominately white area, and you seem to look down your noses at working class black men?
Now WHERE did say THAT!! Of coures I don't. My parents were both from working class backgrounds. I just don't think that a low income, working class guy of ANY race would be a fit for me.
jazztalking wrote: Well given that the UK is the most multicultural European city, you will have to get used to mixing socially with white people. The upshot is that you might even get a proposal from one! About hoping to mayy a black man..well middle class blacks are pretty thin on the ground in blighty, so you will have to rejig your priorities and accept that true love cound be found among the plebians.
In terms of race, I will marry of a ANY race. It doesn't matter to me. Are you saying that there are no middle class Black men? I am used to mixing with White people. I live in a White area remember. It is the White men here who aren't open to romantic relationships with women of other races. There is nothing that I can do about THAT. I understand that White men in Britain are more open to interracial relationships.
Britainm however, is no soft option:
Institutionally racist
Negative about success
Damp, grey and wet
Few parking spaces
REALLY HIGH COST OF LIVING
High Rents and Expensive Mortgages
Home of the Daily Mail newspaper
Whites are insular and hates Johnny Foreigner, especially blacks and refugees
Asians will get on your nerves
Blacks will get on your nerves
MIscarriage of Justice is the norm for blacks
Poll Tax/Congestion Charge whill have you fuming
Media representation of Blacks especially on TV (Channel 4) will make your hair stand on end
Darcus Howe
Continuing failure of black boys in school will have you gnawing at your knuckles
Dianne Abott
Paul Boateng etc
Stop and Search...
Now, are you sure you want to come here??
Right now, I am exploring my options. There are a number of reasons that I think Britain would be a good fit for me but I won't get into them now. For sure I will need to have an extended visit so that I can get the lay of the land. Thank you for your input.
Last edited on Saturday March 12th, 2005 20:07 by Crystal
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CashMoney
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 20:00 |
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CRYSTAL, seeing as you lived in a whitey area, might wanna try Kent or Portsmouth/Southampton, about 2 hrs from train. also try Hertfordshire/reading/Sussex/nSURREY, ALL CHEAPER CLEANER THEN lONDON
London aint that bad, pure smelly bhangramans though, if you can handle that lol
Have you thought about Canada
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Crystal
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 20:09 |
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From what friends of mine have told me, the dating situation for Black women is even WORSE than the situation in the US.
CashMoney wrote: CRYSTAL, seeing as you lived in a whitey area, might wanna try Kent or Portsmouth/Southampton, about 2 hrs from train. also try Hertfordshire/reading/Sussex/nSURREY, ALL CHEAPER CLEANER THEN lONDON
London aint that bad, pure smelly bhangramans though, if you can handle that lol
Have you thought about Canada
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MARIA1
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 23:12 |
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My advice is don't!!! The US has far more opportunities for black people than the UK. I would advice you to stay in the US (perhaps you could consider relocating to a different state) or consider another country. (Check out my post in the forum on 'would you call the UK home?').
Coincidentally I came on to this site tonight to ask for advice about relocating to the Caribbean - (leaving the UK!! - my first choice of country for relocating to is the US).
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MARIA1
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Posted: Saturday March 12th, 2005 23:22 |
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If you want to date interracially, yeah, the UK is the place to be but if you are not happy being in a predominately white setting, then the UK wouldn't be a good choice. The US is so diverse - if you want a different experience, why not move to another state.
Check out this article (March 11th) on black men and interracial dating in the UK.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1435203,00.html
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Crystal
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 02:11 |
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But Maria, there is one part of the article that needs to be noted. 30% of the Black women in the UK have White partners. So it sounds like the playing field is a little bit more level than in North America. In North America, while a lot of Black men are dating White and Asian women, few men of other races would even consider dating or marrying a Black woman. The marriage prospects for Black women are not that great. They seem much better in the UK. I don't want my daughter to go through what I have been through. Moving to the Caribbean would be an option for a married couple but as a single parent, I think the cost of livin would be WAY too high.
In the UK (England in particular) what would be considered a comfortable income so that one could enjoy travel, a comfortable home, etc.?
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CashMoney
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 05:42 |
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Seeing as you coming from a single background, you need to be earning upwards of 30,000 to have a comfortable life. What er you qualified in
@ crystal, on a serious note. Dont let a man define your life. If you think your coming here to find a husband then its not a good idea. People will spot and exploit your obvious need for companionship. My sister is like that and some person is gnna take real advantage of her unless she starts to love herself.
@ MARIA 1. dont believ all you read about the US and opportunities, its al relative.
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Saida.M
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 07:33 |
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@ crystal, on a serious note. Dont let a man define your life. If you think your coming here to find a husband then its not a good idea. People will spot and exploit your obvious need for companionship. My sister is like that and some person is gnna take real advantage of her unless she starts to love herself.
 Agreed!
Crystal - I think you ought to stop thinking that the grass is greener elsewhere and try and deal with your problems first.
USA is such a vast place - I can't believe there is nothing good for you there.
No-where really is a rose garden - especially for black people.
I think jazztalking is spot on with his list and you need to think about that.
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 13:09 |
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@ crystal - come to Maryland..we'll welcome you with open arms!
lots of well-paid professional black men here....and in general a strong and vibrant black middle/upper class.
lots to do....dinner, theatre, museums, equestrian sports (which wont kill your pocketbook!) rock climbing, mountain climbiing, canoeing, 4 hours drive to the Big Apple (if you want to go shopping) close to the nation's capital, 2 hours drive from Philly, lots of great universities nearby, (Georgetown, Howard, U. of, VA, U of MD, John Hopkins, American U, Catholic U, George Washington U etc....) U of MD is especially great value for money and you will pay in-state tuition. lots of good scholarship available if your daughter is bright and doing well in school
negatives? ,cost of living is alitle high compared to other parts of the US (not as bad as London though). Winter can be trecherous (you've got to learn to drive in the snow!!), and commuting is horrendous (get used to 45 minutes compute to work being the norm),
But you can live very comfortably in MD with a $50,000/year job ...and if you run your own business its even better! If you want to live super well, then 60,000-70,000 will do it for you.
MD is consumer friendly, Democratic, Scenic.
I forgot to add that the job market here is very strong...it wont be hard to easily fine a basic/entry level job here for aboout 35-40K. You said that you have corporate experience so you can easily get something in the 50,000s
if you still want to consider London - you should visit. It will feel cramped and small to you after the space of the US. But if you can adapt to the spatial challenges and other things which have been mentioned, its ok.
Last edited on Sunday March 13th, 2005 13:14 by Happiness
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MARIA1
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 14:16 |
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If you aren't meeting suitable black men it's most likely because you are living in a majority white environment. As far as I am aware the US has the largest black middle class in the world! Cities like Washington DC, Atlanta, Chicago are just a few places with a large black middle class. So if you want to meet a black man, then my advice would be to stay in US, although you would need to move to an area where there is a significant black population (which shouldn't be a problem in terms of places to choose from). Even though a lot more African American men are taking white partners these days, it's still the minority (I think it's only 10%, which means that 90% prefer black women) which is a lot more healthy than in the UK... as the article I posted demonstrates, if you are having problems meeting black men in your area in the US, your problems will be far worse in the UK.
If however, you prefer white men, then the UK would be a good fit for you, although I am sceptical about the quality of the majority of white men you are likely to meet and their motivations for seeking a black partner (although there may be some exceptions!) At the end of the day, if you really think that the UK is the best place for your particular needs, then give it a go. I can identify with your feeling that a particular country is not meeting your needs because I feel that way about the UK.
With regard to the cost of living, you would probably need a salary of about £20, 000 a year to live comfortably, although some people may disagree with this.
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 14:21 |
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Maria..£20,000!!!!
That was 15 years ago my dear. The Average wage in the UK is 27K..that is half of what it takes to live comfortably
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Posted: Sunday March 13th, 2005 14:41 |
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Crystal wrote: In North America, while a lot of Black men are dating White and Asian women, few men of other races would even consider dating or marrying a Black woman. The marriage prospects for Black women are not that great. They seem much better in the UK. I don't want my daughter to go through what I have been through.
If you are only looking for a white man, then yes it's more difficult in the US although it may just be the place you are living in. I was in LA for 3 months at the end of last year and most of the interracial couples I saw were white men and black women.
If you bring your daughter to the UK, sure she will easily be able to have a white partner, but her chances of meeting a black man will be significantly reduced.
As I said before if you want a black partner, you need to move out of your all white neighbourhood/ city and move to an environment with a black community.< |
