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Jonathan
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Posted: Saturday February 19th, 2005 04:14 |
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Hi all,
I'm not Black but I am here because I would like some advice with regard to family members. I won't post further to this thread but I would appreciate your collective input. Thanks.
Most of my family are appallingly racist, I was brought up to be and can honestly say that I'm not thankfully but that's because I have educated myself, I've faced any and all prejudices and realised that they were rooted in fear and ignorance HOWEVER sometimes I am dismayed by the way I allow certain views to be expressed without me saying much by way of a defence.
I won't upset anyone here but it was a family get-together last week and everyone was there, the views expressed were as extreme as anything I have heard until now, they were as sickening as the views expressed on that BBC 1 programme where they went undercover to expose the BNP. I found myself the lone voice in the room, the lone voice of dissent.
I cannot tell you how scary it was to see my whole family gang up on me. They called me a 'p*ki sympathiser' and a 'N-word-lover'. They then went on about the 'darkies' and how they would like to see them rounded up and all sorts. The views expressed were terrible. I felt sick inside. I got up and left the room. I couldn't stand anymore. I felt a coward that I didn't say or do more.
Then on Thursday night, Mum got back from a trip to Blackpool with them (I don't get invited on trips and holidays anymore) and she brought me back as a souvenir a British Bulldog ceramic figurine complete with Union Jack flag. I was shocked. I asked her how she could do such a thing, what was she thinking. She told me that all the family have one and now I know I am going to see those whenever I go round to see them. The upshot of all of this is I have a family tied by blood but little else. I am ashamed of them and of myself for still having anything to do with them.
I know that by seeing them, by still keeping in contact I am somehow condoning their beliefs but to be without them I am going to find very difficult indeed. It's a large extended family with 20 or so cousins and an aunt and even though I am not as included as I could be (because of my own views) I am going to find it a wrench to walk away. Does anyone have any advice for me pls?
Thanks for listening,
Jonathan.
Last edited on Saturday February 19th, 2005 04:16 by Jonathan
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Saida.M
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Posted: Saturday February 19th, 2005 12:43 |
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Jonathan wrote: Hi all,
I'm not Black but I am here because I would like some advice with regard to family members. I won't post further to this thread WHY NOT? but I would appreciate your collective input. Thanks.
Most of my family are appallingly racist, I was brought up to be and can honestly say that I'm not thankfully but that's because I have educated myself, I've faced any and all prejudices and realised that they were rooted in fear and ignorance HOWEVER sometimes I am dismayed by the way I allow certain views to be expressed without me saying much by way of a defence.
I won't upset anyone here but it was a family get-together last week and everyone was there, the views expressed were as extreme as anything I have heard until now, they were as sickening as the views expressed on that BBC 1 programme where they went undercover to expose the BNP. I found myself the lone voice in the room, the lone voice of dissent.
I cannot tell you how scary it was to see my whole family gang up on me. They called me a 'p*ki sympathiser' and a 'N-word-lover'. They then went on about the 'darkies' and how they would like to see them rounded up and all sorts. The views expressed were terrible. I felt sick inside. I got up and left the room. I couldn't stand anymore. I felt a coward that I didn't say or do more.
Then on Thursday night, Mum got back from a trip to Blackpool with them (I don't get invited on trips and holidays anymore) and she brought me back as a souvenir a British Bulldog ceramic figurine complete with Union Jack flag. I was shocked. WHY? I asked her how she could do such a thing, what was she thinking. She told me that all the family have one and now I know I am going to see those whenever I go round to see them. The upshot of all of this is I have a family tied by blood but little else. I am ashamed of them and of myself for still having anything to do with them.
I know that by seeing them, by still keeping in contact I am somehow condoning their beliefs but to be without them I am going to find very difficult indeed. It's a large extended family with 20 or so cousins and an aunt and even though I am not as included as I could be (because of my own views) I am going to find it a wrench to walk away. Does anyone have any advice for me pls?
Thanks for listening,
Jonathan.
I, (and I am sure I am alone), do not understand what is highlighted above.
If you are not coming back to post here anymore, what is the point of asking for our advice? How would we know if what we say will/has helped you or not?
Do you really want help?
Why didn't you go to a white site and pose the same dilemma there? Is it because you suspect the answers may be in the same vein as your family?
I will say however, that in my mind anyone who is subjected to hardcore racism, is actually a victim of abuse. To try and condition a mind to hate is wrong. This SHOULD be a criminal offence.
After all if this happened in the guise of a cult like wako (sp) ......
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Saturday February 19th, 2005 13:24 |
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Jonathan: first the quick bit, having a union jack or a ceramic of a British Bulldog is not in itself make you an overt racist..So like athaba I cannot see why you're getting in a twist about this..
As for your family and their overt racist views, it seems to me that you already know what you need to do.. Because you have said as much..#
What i will say on this subject is this, everyone regardless of who they are, at some point needs to look at themselves and set certain bounderies of what is acceptable in their lives.. Once you do that its up to you not to put yourself in situation where those bounderies are going to be disrespected.
It is not for you to challenge your families views, it is not for you to try and change them from what they are.. They have as much right to their racist views as you have to yours.. You are responsible for you and that is what you should concentrate on.
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Jonathan
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Posted: Saturday February 19th, 2005 23:28 |
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Hi there athaba,
I'm afraid I haven't made myself clear, by saying I wouldn't be posting anymore, I meant to say that I wouldn't be starting any more topics though I am interested in what is said with regard to this one, after all why would I post it to begin with? I'm a guest here and I don't wish to disrespectful as to what is after all, a space for Black people to share their experiences.
Best wishes,
Jonathan.
Last edited on Saturday February 19th, 2005 23:33 by Jonathan
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Jonathan
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Posted: Saturday February 19th, 2005 23:29 |
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Hi Kunjufu,
Yes, you're right. I did know what I had to do with regard to my family before I posted here. I also know what I have to do with regard to myself. I can no longer be party to their racism, yes they do have a right to express any view that they see fit, it doesn't mean I have to listen to it though does it?
I will tell them in no uncertain terms what I feel with regard to their views and let them know that I can't be placed in a situation where such views are raised, as such it's my belief that I need to stay away from family situations. Individually these views don't seem to see the light of day but en masse they are prevalent.
Thank you everyone for replying and I'm sorry that I wasn't clear with regard to my first post. I didn't mean I wouldn't come back and reply, only that I didn't want to post new starter topics as I feel that would be disrespectful to the village here.
Thanks again,
Jonathan.
Last edited on Saturday February 19th, 2005 23:39 by Jonathan
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Saida.M
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Posted: Sunday February 20th, 2005 09:07 |
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Jonathan wrote: Hi Kunjufu,
Yes, you're right. I did know what I had to do with regard to my family before I posted here. I also know what I have to do with regard to myself. I can no longer be party to their racism, yes they do have a right to express any view that they see fit, it doesn't mean I have to listen to it though does it?
I will tell them in no uncertain terms what I feel with regard to their views and let them know that I can't be placed in a situation where such views are raised, as such it's my belief that I need to stay away from family situations. Individually these views don't seem to see the light of day but en masse they are prevalent.
Thank you everyone for replying and I'm sorry that I wasn't clear with regard to my first post. I didn't mean I wouldn't come back and reply, only that I didn't want to post new starter topics as I feel that would be disrespectful to the village here.
 Why would starting new topics be disrespectful? And you never did say why you thought the ceramic figure was shocking?
Thanks again,
Jonathan.
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People readily believe lies before they believe the truth
"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
Good News Bible. Rev. Ch.13 V.3
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johnny
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Posted: Sunday February 20th, 2005 09:12 |
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so your family is racist, so what? who cares 
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Posted: Sunday February 20th, 2005 09:31 |
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Thats what I was thinking
most people are racist especially in those small towns
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HeavensOwn
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Posted: Friday April 29th, 2005 18:51 |
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| jonathern, your words reflect enough of your mind to know what to do next. But don't believe you are the only person who condone such racist views, because there are many like you. But it takes one voice to hear many alike.
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efenjee
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Posted: Wednesday May 4th, 2005 11:12 |
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Jonathan wrote: I'm a guest here and I don't wish to disrespectful as to what is after all, a space for Black people to share their experiences.
Are you listening, all you whites that think it's cool to come on here with 'the white perspective'?
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ChildOfBodom
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Posted: Friday May 13th, 2005 00:23 |
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Black_power wrote: Thats what I was thinking
most people are racist especially in those small towns
Nonsense, thats an ignorant statement in itself
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Posted: Friday May 13th, 2005 11:57 |
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How would you know you will never experience racism.
small towners are the worst places for racism.
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efenjee
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Posted: Friday May 13th, 2005 12:18 |
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Black_power wrote: How would you know you will never experience racism.
small towners are the worst places for racism.
No BP, small town folks may be more open and in-yer-face about their racism cos political correctness has not reached them yet and they are not as 'refined' as their big city counterparts. In the bigger cities it is still there but far more subtle which is worse. They still see blacks as inferior but will keep that to themselves more.
"white flight" is what happens when the politically correct massive get sick of the blacks becoming their neighbours, whereas the small towners who have not experienced nuff blacks coming in their area will just blatantly say, "we don't want no wogs round here." Also, in places like inner London there are too many blacks for them to go on with the overt racism whereas in the smaller towns they can get away with it much easier.
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teddylove1985
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Posted: Friday May 13th, 2005 18:44 |
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I have to say Jonathan - there's something wrong with the picture you've painted...
I don't know, but this whole story seems a bit strange. Firstly, why the hell would you be offended by a Union Jack? Even most black people don't mind (as long as they're not being used by some skinheads etc.) - so why should YOU care?
Secondly, if your story is true ( after all - you could just be a nutter who made the whole thing up for attention - or worse, a black person stirring sh*t up for fun) but, if it IS true, I think the issues you have with your family are not those which you have described.
In other words, I think that there are OTHER things causing trouble between you and your family and this whole "racism" thing is merely a side issue which allows you to take out some of your anger, without discussing what the real problems are.
Finally Jonathan, nobody, whether they be black/white/asian/whatever can truelly say "I'm not racist and never have been" because racism is a concept not an object - it can never die because it does not physically exist. Saying that racism can be stamped out is like saying "terrorism will be wiped out" or "there will be no more crime" - these things will always exist so get on with life, sh*t happens mate.
One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter -so don't get too righteous with the whole "I'm not racist" thing because that's just YOUR OPINION!!
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ChildOfBodom
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Posted: Wednesday June 1st, 2005 13:44 |
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Black_power wrote: How would you know you will never experience racism.
small towners are the worst places for racism.
You said most people are though, thats not true at all. SOME people are, but no-where near as much as people make out
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