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| Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya |
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LadyDay
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| Joined: | Thursday October 2nd, 2003 |
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Posted: Thursday February 3rd, 2005 19:14 |
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Ladies i ask you first as only you would truly understand.......fellas i will ask you last as different rules apply for it
Ladies how do you cope when so many people are on your case as to why you have not had a child yet let alone get pregnant....pressure or not. yes i have done the traditional path wedded bliss got my education etc...but how many times can i say to people when the time comes or when God say its time or even ask God. ........ yes i do want kids and had hoped i would have at least one by now so that i can plan my future accordingly. i have an idea of where i want to be and am heading there..but it seems people family and friends dont think. they say so and so a breed everybody a breed and not you whats wrong. your married few years etc etc. but now i am starting to think whats up with me and all that hoopla..i know it will happen but for all this pressure i just want to swallow myself in work hobbies and my new fitness regime once that is in place. just so i dont have to think about it. i am concerned that this may enter my depression so bu focusing on something else it will take my mind off it all.
Fellas..i ask you this knowing the answers anyway....say you want kids and are ina committed relationship and they just aint coming through how do you cope with that. especially if your friends start questionning your abilities.......mmmm.....would this then be reflected back to your woman huh or not. he dont got me under pressure but at times i feel his want and he does say the odd thing.
deep breath. i need to get away from some people.........as a couple how do you handle the situatuation we have discussed stuff.
people dont mention age and say you have the rest of your life ahaead. i just needed to get this off my chest.   no one around me understands.
Last edited on Thursday February 3rd, 2005 19:17 by LadyDay
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d1v1ne
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| Joined: | Thursday January 27th, 2005 |
| Location: | New York USA |
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Posted: Saturday February 5th, 2005 04:25 |
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Hey LadyDay
Fellas..i ask you this knowing the answers anyway....say you want kids and are ina committed relationship and they just aint coming through how do you cope with that.
By the way you expressed the above, I'm assuming (which is wrong) that attempts were made in you getting pregnant during the course of the relationship but they may possibly have failed. I may be wrong but this is the way that I'm understanding it. If I'm in a committed relationship with someone to the point where I feel she would make a capable mother- and I'm trying to make that actually happen- if it doesn't happen like that then I'll just keep trying until it does. It may get frustrating if attempts at fertilization fail but me as a husband would stick to the vows that I made to my wife and to God. Keeping close in mind "For better or for worse".
especially if your friends start questionning your abilities.......mmmm.....would this then be reflected back to your woman huh or not.
I wouldn't care what any of my friends think regarding the issue. I didn't marry my wife on account of my friends but on the deep love that I have for her. If they're really my friends and they are aware of the situation then I surely hope that I would be getting some type of encouraging words or consolement.
If you feel that I may have misunderstood the point would you please correct me 
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Even if you murdered or robbed yeah it's wrong but God loves"
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jett Black
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| Joined: | Friday January 7th, 2005 |
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Posted: Sunday February 6th, 2005 01:44 |
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I tell people to stop clocking my womb and mind your business!!
Im 31 and I cant even see the clock,never mind hearing my biological clock tick.
Ive never been pregnant,no abortions,no close calls nothing and thats by design,we have a billion methods of birth control available to us and no woman has to become pregnant if she doesnt want too.
I like children......but I couldnt eat a whole one.
But seriously though you cant just breed with anyone,if the women out there were a bit more discriminating about whos seed they absorbed there would be a lot less strife in our communities.
If the Universe says that im suppose to have a child,it will happen,if not,there are a million abandoned black children I can foster if I need to dispense my maternal instincts on someone.
If the Universe decides that I am supposed to be a Mother it had better be by the time im 38 because I personally wouldnt want to have one any later than that.
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I aint asking for nothing,just open the door and i'll take it myself-James Brown.
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HAYLEY
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| Joined: | Friday July 2nd, 2004 |
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Posted: Sunday February 6th, 2005 09:58 |
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| Lady Day- I understand why you would try to focus on other areas of your life but unless you deal with the issue, you will just keep coming right back to the same place. Have you ever noticed that when you were single, it seemed everybody else appeared to be in love. It's the same when your trying for a baby, there suddenly appears to be pregnant women and baby's everywhere. I believe that you and your partner can be of great strength to one another at this time but in order to accomplish this you really need to confide in one another. As the saying goes, how often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken. If you communicate more it will bring you closer and the rest will follow in time. I hope that you and your partner both receive your hearts desires.
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"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever."
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LadyDay
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| Joined: | Thursday October 2nd, 2003 |
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Posted: Monday February 7th, 2005 21:10 |
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| thanks for your replies
____________________
I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!
Think outside of the box...Think in spirit
Act as if it were impossible to fail!!!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
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