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HELP need advise. BABY MAMA DRAMA
 Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya  

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Dimedout big girl
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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 11:04

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Hello

I have been dating a guy named R for 4 years.  I first met him because i was dating his friend S.  Come to find out S had a girlfriend and had been lying to me the whole time so i dumped him.  Then me and R started dating.  I thought R was a player by the way he acted but he never pressured me for sex like the way most guys do so i gave him a chance.  At the time, i had lots of female and male friends and always had lots of company when he came over.  Loud music, lots of people, weed smoking, video games, typically hang out spot.  He never mentioned it or complained about it but i know he noticed it and had opinions about it but just wasent saying anything. 

I knew R had 2 kids when I met him and I knew he owned a house that him and his baby mother lived in together.  I knew all of this but i still dated him but i never took him seriously.  He always would tell me he " wants to be with me" and "when im going to stop playing games and be is girl for real"  and " he  has been trying to get with me for years" and lots more sentimental stuff.  I never took what he said to heart until 2 years into the relationship. 

Around that same time, S came back into town and called me for a booty call.  I told him no and said i was now dating R.  He was very angry at me dating R and by me not giving him some sex.  He felt like R snuck behind his back and dated me after he moved out of town but thats not what happen.  We got togther after he been left.  S got angry and said " why wont you have sex with me, R is doing the same thing im doing, adleast i didnt live with my baby mother!"  I was angry and called him a lier and kicked him out and that was that.  I knew he was still living with his baby mother but he told me he would soon be moving out and they were not together anymore.

Months later, R comes to me with great news, that he got his own place now so i was very happy like we can be a real couple now.    As time went on I noticed our routine stayed the same, he come to my house, have sex and leave.  He never once invited me to this "new apartment."  I even tested him by telling him we couldnt chill at my place its being paint to see if he would take me to his place but instead he cancelled and didnt come by until my house was ready. 

Mean while, everytime i see him hes  telling me hes in love with me and im going to be "wifey" and how much he doesnt want to lose me.  At the same time, i cleaned up my act, no more company, no more weed smoking just me, him and my immaculately clean house.  Just focusing on working, school and working out.  On my birthday we got the most expensive hotel room in (confidential) and had the most romantic evening and was acting all romantic, kissing and holding eachother, something we almost never do.  We agreed to only have sex with eachother  which was defintly not my idea because i would never request something like that.  After the next few months, he would tell me he was only sexing me but i couldn't tell, i only saw him once a week if that.  It was times i didnt see him for a month or 2 or 3 once.  He never stressed me about what i was doing but would make little sarcastic comments about my other boyfriends who didnt exist because i was just sampling. 

Mind you, through all of this i never had his phone number or knew where he lived at.  i just knew  where his family lived and where he hustle at.  In the past i use to contact him through his best friend P (who also tried to sex me but noway) but his phone got turned off.  one day i got from a friend of mine his phone number and address  and i feel bad for doing this but i startng pranking his house and sometimes he would pick up or the baby mother or her sisters since it was a full house.   I was really getting on there nerves sending chinese food and stuff to the house.  I know it was childish and i did it for like a month straight, then i stopped alltogether.  Oneday when i called his baby mother picked up and was yelling at him about the pranking and he said it was this girl that he was just "beating in the head"  .  I dont know what he could be beating me in the head for because i never gave him sh** , except for sex, no money if anything he gave to me, but wasent much because i never ask him for nothing.  I saw him and evrything was cool he didnt even mention it or even seem abnormal at all.  At first i thought he might suspect it was me, but the way i got the number , he could never know.  But that was like a year ago and since then its been the same old stuff.  I think that this place may have never existed, i pranked The house and he was always there.  He s not supposed to be there everyday allday like that if they not together.  Although the baby mother didnt sound so angry at the possiblity of him cheating, she didnt sounded  too angry and was laughing and only angry when its early in the morning. 

I dont know what to think.  He still come sees me on and off when ever he feels like it, and i can never call him and rely on him for anything although he says he would do anything for me and wants me but i be holding back and not keeping it real with him but it feel like i hardly see him and his obligations to his family is a burden. I dont have any kids and i be trying to tell him that in subtle ways but he always push it back on me like he been chasing me but i been availaible for a miunit, he either just didnt see it or is ignoring it, i dont know.  I wanted to dump him but as soon as i see him or i talki to him, the idea swims around my head but never comes out and hell say some sweet stuff like i think about you everyday and stop dealing with other dudes but then when i start asking him some deep questions he changes topics to something eles like the neighbors, hes a real gossip too.  I want to stay with him to see if we can make it work but i dont want to get played.

And also Is it possibly to be in love with someone with such a small penis and your use to 9 inches?They dont sexually satisfy you completely but they stimulate you so much that you come on your self? Where talking 4 or 5 yall hard.

Last edited on Thursday December 16th, 2004 20:07 by Kunjufu



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 11:25

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:shock:



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 11:51

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Look im new here but let me tell you the truth............he is chattin sh1t to you......and the only reason its still goin on is that you are letting it happen.

If he really wants you, he'll come back, right??? den leave him

you'll only get really hurt in the long run;)



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 12:33

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What's the big deal here, isn't this normal:?



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 13:44

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Hi Dimedout big girl....i'm gonna humour u with this short response - b'cos i don't know whether to take this seriously or not :shock:

@ the end of the day ur gonna do what ur gonna do but from what i made out & i'm being straight up with u...the bottom line...it's a sex ting...nothing complicated at all...i believe u know it is already....u cannot look at what you've written & honestly say you think it's a deep relationship!!.....u say that u think of dumping him well in all fairness what's stopping u?? & all his sweet talk blah blah....it's just that...TALK...what actions (apart from sex) has he shown u that make u think  'it can work'?



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 16:58

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@ dimedout-

YOU now have a PHD in being PLAYED.....4 years...:....and you have come here still trying to ask opinions because you can't work it out...WOW..this is a joke right lmao...
Question WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PLAYER AND A PRINCE ?
dimedout AWNSER...THEY BOTH BEGIN WITH THE LETTER P....blkcrylol_3.gif" ALT="blkcrylol"> LMAO:



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 17:09

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This is thebit that cracks me up

I thought R was a player by the way he acted but he never pressured me for sex like the way most guys do so i gave him a chance. 

When surely she was giving herself a chance..

Baby Mama Drama? in my days it was men who complained about this. It's quite amazing how it's women who now seem to have the biggest problems with other women with children:D

How anyone can concentrate on their exams with all this drama is beyond me:D

 

Last edited on Thursday December 16th, 2004 20:08 by Kunjufu



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 20:09

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Gosh you guys are good...because i read that opening post and it made no sense to me whatsoever....



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 20:15

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Btw Dimeout Girl: just in cae you get tired of Mr R..can i say that I know a guys who specialises in treating girls like you in the way that they are accustomed...

He comes to visit late at night, tek his tings and leaves at dawn... he tell you all sorts of sh*te to fill your head wid stupidness and when he done he meks you go fetch him tings fi him..

plus my guy is an expert on stringing women along, in fact he has a PHd in it..so why stressing yourself abour r.. if he is getting tired my guy can do a nice line in wiping his preverbial feet all over you..and whats more he will tek your money too without a by your leave..



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 21:02

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Oh My Gawd i think i just lost the will to care... WOW!

 

Last edited on Thursday December 16th, 2004 23:04 by Abissinia



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 21:53

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@ dimedout big girl

Newsflash: your already being played! No comprende? Let me spell it out for u

P.L.A.Y.E.D

Your being played like the likkle cheap cards u get out of christmas crackers.  The man and his babymother is sitting in the yard laughing at ur expense.  Now lets play a game of give us a clue, cos u certainly ain't got none!

Clue no 1. the man TOLD u he was only sexing u, did u not hear him?

Clue no 2. u only see him once a week and it's for sex, could that be classed as a relationship?

Clue no 3. u never had his phone number and never knew where he lived, thats the biggest clue of them all!

Clue no 4. I must admit I have never heard the term "beating in the head" but I know that translates to "just a sex ting", because u said urself that u do nothing else!

Clue no 5. ur ex told u what type of guy he was like, he should know as they were friends.  Even if u thought ur ex was lieing the guy's actions would have confirmed it.

Clue no 6. u ask the man a question and he keeps dodging it, then he switches it and makes it sound like ur playing about.  Something in ur head should say that's not right, if he's in a "relationship" with u what does he have to hide?

Ur either young and naive or old and stupid.  If ur young and naive u have time to learn, if ur old and stupid me feel sorry fe u!



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:11

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No no FacetyGal: you aint doing it right..she is being:

U.S.E.D.

Like secondhand toilet paper...ie man just wipe and lef ya...



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:11

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I think we are being played...is this a piss-take or what???

Can't no one be this ignorant, stupid, pathetic and artificial...:shock:



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:17

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~*OPINIONATED*~ wrote: I think we are being played...is this a piss-take or what???

Can't no one be this ignorant, stupid, pathetic and artificial...:shock:



Don't spoil the fun Opinionated: i was goingt to start a new game..I call it name the posters real name...is it:

Bicycle..because everyone done ride her.

Petrolstation..because everyone gone thru her.

Roundabout..because it looks like everyone has had a turn.



Welcome...because it look like everyone uses her to wipe their feet on.

Last edited on Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:20 by Kunjufu



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:21

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bighairlolbighairlolbighairlolbighairlolbighairlol

 

Kunjufu u nah easy bredda, I thought I was being harsh!



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:22

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Kunjufu wrote:
~*OPINIONATED*~ wrote: I think we are being played...is this a piss-take or what???

Can't no one be this ignorant, stupid, pathetic and artificial...:shock:



Don't spoil the fun Opinionated: i was goingt to start a new game..I call it name the posters real name...is it:

Bicycle..because everyone done ride her?

Petrolstation..because everyone gone thru her?

Roundabout..because it looks like everyone has had a turn?




LMAO...why go and kill the girl like that. What about Pavement: Cos everyone gone and walked all over her ass?


I'm liking this game...such a shame these people really exist.

Last edited on Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:23 by ~*OPINIONATED*~



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:40

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Ha Ha Ha I was just thinking about that R. Kelly song:

"You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it/ something like my sound, I wanna pump it baby/ girl u look just like my car, I wanna wax it/ and something like my bank account, I wanna spend it baby"

Now I wonder what this girl reminds her dude of? It can't be good cos I thought that song was the ultimate piss take, especially when R.Kelly started the song: "you remind me of somthing, I just can't think of what it is!"



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 Posted: Thursday December 16th, 2004 22:43

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LMAO @FacetyGirl...



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 Posted: Friday December 17th, 2004 00:48

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For quite a while I was genuinely thinking "I know either U or your friend".......as it happens I don't but I've heard too many variations of this theme........from a few of my friends experience this nearly always ends in them becoming a BabyMother thru' this type of Guy as well.......at which point.....its See Ya....one close friends "relationship":P lasted 2 days after she gave birth......the records 6/7 months I think:(......always seem to end the same.......U become another BabyMother to add to his personal tally:(.........funny how U never actually ever seem to make it to the Home Address of these Guys.....their friends place....their families....but NOT theirs:X



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 Posted: Friday December 17th, 2004 16:10

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@Kunjufu

 

ROTFLLLLLLLLLLl

Sir, do you want to Lynch Mob to question your Moderator position?

dissing the gal

LOLLLLLLLL

roundabout

LOLLLLLLLLL



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 Posted: Friday December 17th, 2004 20:35

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Kunjufu wrote:
He comes to visit late at night, tek his tings and leaves at dawn... he tell you all sorts of sh*te to fill your head wid stupidness and when he done he meks you go fetch him tings fi him..

The song "Midnight Lover" springs to mind..


However, I feel this is a wind - up...

Peace.



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 Posted: Sunday January 9th, 2005 14:22

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@ Dimedout big Gurl..........IF this is a serious post.................There are plenty more fish in the sea honey, what you are not getting from this joker, another man can give you.

But while you are messing with this 'dude' you may not notice and miss out.



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 Posted: Friday January 14th, 2005 10:40

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hey girl, you gotta ask yourself two questions

1- can i live with myself knowing i could be putting myself in the firing line, being a bm myself i kno they always come bak, and although i wouldnt personally looka fight with my bf objects of lust it is a possibility. u dun kno hes feeding her and u bullsh*t, keeping u both sweet

2- is the sex worth it, it sounds like u can have any man so cut your losses with this dude, do you and move on. i kno its easier said than done but in the long run it helps both your sanity, which by the sounds of it has briefly been an issue already, and your dignity. 

dont giv him the satisfaction, you want it all or nothin at all. men always get the best of both worlds.



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 Posted: Friday January 21st, 2005 12:30

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One word

three letters.

W.O.W.

If you can't see how literally STUPID you are being just after typing this, then there is no hope for you.

He treats you this way because he wants do.  You are nothing more than a drop off point for sperm.  Only God and good luck is the reason you have not gotten AIDS or are walking around with children in two.

Listen........your parents failed you, your father failed you, and every adult man in your family failed you.  And that is sad.  You seem to lack the sense God gave a shoe-box....and in the end, you will keep to this relationship.  Thinking it better to have some good *ick a few times a week, then a good man all the time.
This man will treat you how you allow him to treat you.  And you are allowing him to treat you without any regard for your feelings.  I can only assume that you have no respect in yourself.

OH.....one more thing.  ONLY A FREAKING IDIOT would enter into a relationship with a man, which lives with the mother of his children.......regardless of what he told you.


But I can help you....I would like for you to three my Parris 3-step program.
1. Find a brick wall

2. Draw a circle on that way, about shoulder high

3. BANG your head into the center of the circle until you come too your senses or pass out.

***Repeated as necessary.
PaRriS

 



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 Posted: Monday January 24th, 2005 17:27

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