|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya |
|
|
| Author | |
|---|
Just_ME
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday June 5th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 164 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday August 31st, 2004 12:03 |
|
Ok so I have a problem…..
Picture this you have some friends, they have been your friends for a while, and when you are together you have a laugh together and joke around together , sometimes they do some things that you don’t like and they annoy you some times, but hey they are your friends and know one is perfect.
Ok so they may dress a little provocatively sometimes dance a lil to wild and bee a lil nieve when it comes to males, now I am not saying that they sleep around or are hoe ish, in fact they are far from it, but when it comes to male attention they can be nieve in the males intention or how they act ( sometimes leading males on) and coming across in a way that doesn’t portray how they really are.
Now these friends are not like this 24 seven or 5 days out of a week, but do tend to let there hair down when we go clubbing . Which is only once a week
The problem is this out of this group I am the only black female and at the moment a local black community is rife with gossiping about my group of friends, they think that our group are whores and are easy and hoes basically, this group of people make up the majority of blacks within my area, and I don’t like the fact that the attention in being reflected upon me. Now don’t get me wrong the information being used ta base the reputations of our group in particular my friends is purely superficial , speculation, gossip and rumours. But still the reputations are their.
I am trying to take the attitude that I know the information and reputations are wrong so as long as I know this who cares, or that the people I know and care about and care about me know how I am so why care about gossips, but its not that easy. But at the end of the day it still bothering me, especially since i know that all this bull is untrue.
Friends who have told me about the gossip have told me that unless I distance my self from these people who have this reputation I will get one myself if its only that people assume im like the people I hang wit. But why should I when my friends haven’t done anything wrong, they are who they are and are not going to change cos some people care to gossip. And why should I be left wit no friends cos other people wanna gossip and speculate.
I have tried at tell them stuff like this b4 and ho they come across but I just got ma head bitten of cos they thought I wanted to change them, they made me realise that why should they change for people who hate on them,a nd why did I want them to change if I wanted to be friends with the gossips I should and if I didn’t why should they have to change for the gossips if they weren’t tht important ?
But still this is stilla problem L
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Sooofresh
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday August 31st, 2004 15:12 |
|
Hiya Just-me
What you are going through is not the first and definatly will not be the last.
Only you know what your friends are like, and theirfore only you can make the judgement if you need friends like these.
BUT
regarding other people gossping! now lets put yoyr friends aside. men, women and kids all gossip about anyone and anything, if not one thing, they will find something else to gossip about. Put it this way the people that are giving your friends and you a bad name are they good friends? do they support you mentally, physically? if not then sorry to say but TO HELL with them.
You see some people are sad, they have nothing going on in their lives and take great pleasure in spreading false rumours, it is a comfort blanket for their pwn securities. I for one only do whats best for me, I do not follow populist views if it does not benefit me and I do not feel the need to be part of the masses to feel part of society.
At the end, what do you define a friend? I a muslim have friends of all type, I get seen as wierd by the muslim comunity for not having only muslim friends. I have male friends, working class, middle class and rich friends, I have hoes and I have virgin friends and they are all good friends. What your friend choose to do with men should be of no concern unless it is putting you at direct risk.
It is hard to say TO HELL with people, but you will soon realise that real friends are the ones that are their for you , even the wild ones.
phewww
anyway hope that helped
____________________
BNV...resident Feminist
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Just_ME
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday June 5th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 164 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday August 31st, 2004 15:35 |
|
yeah your right, these people do not give one flying ( beep) about me as a person and what i think and feel so i guess i can live with the fact that they think imma summit im not, at the end of the day the people who are gossiping i do not in one bit care for, but the sad fact is i dont like it when people dont have the balls ta conftont me with whatever especially if they then go and talk smack about me behind my back .
I mena i have been talked about and gossiped about, stared at, pointed at since the day i was born, but sever since i found out what this large group of people have been saying, things has started to fall into place stuff that at the time i didnt notice. friedns i thought i have who are associated with these people to me are now i dont know, cos its like they are arounbd me and shoudl know me but by the looks of what i have been told these people are just as bad as the rest,
But oh well i have worked my ass of for too long to b dragged down by the likes of these people who are gossiping so imma just do what i always do hold ma head up high and continue ta do me.
ma friedns will stay my friends and those two faces people who are loving being sweet to ma face nd the devil behind my back ar in for a sharp shock the next time they try and sweeten me up
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Just_ME
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday June 5th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 164 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday August 31st, 2004 15:44 |
|
i just i dont know im just pissed i supose cos its like, this thing kind has a knock on effect like one or two people thinking crap is ok brush em off, but like with this its a whole and i mean a whole lot of people that thinks this, like i said its the majority of the black community in my area, brothers, sistas, cousins friends of the cousins who chill wit da brothers lol can ya see what im saying. i mean i live in a majority white areas so the black sommutiy is really tite everyon knows everyone and if a piece of gossip goes round i mean it goes round, and this bit seems ta be sticking . I just dont wanna be goin out and have ta deal with males pushing up on me cos they think im easy, or even worse pretedn ta like me to get some. cos of the gossip they heard. Cos it gone around now dat I still holing my V card, (how I can be hoish ans till have that, as well as never having a serious bf or messing wit males just at mess with them but hey) but yeah I have also been warnded from a friends dat tole me ta stay clear or be wary cos many of da dudes who may of herd diss will pretend at like me just at get m,a v card n prove their manlynes at da other boys. Argh this situation is stank
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Sooofresh
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday August 31st, 2004 15:54 |
|
At the end of the day I am not going to lie and say it is easy and just to ignore the people, we are all humans, the worse advise is the people who say " oooh forget about it, move on with your life" nopes that bull, or they have not got an active hypothalamus ( area in brain that controls emotions)
but
what I am trying to say that you will vent and even get confrontational about the people that gossip, but eventually the sad gits will get bored.
What do your frineds think about the gossip?
and to the men, well what do you expect from a man, some have under developed hypothalmus, men are the worse to follow gossip, my heck the girl could be a virgin and they will call her a sket.
When I first meet my best mate she used to embaress me, my girl has biggggggggg breasts and she used to wear tiny tops and super short skirts just to got to yates pub also the girl is on the meaty side, yet that girl is the most intelligent,nice with a good educatio and a fincae, doesnt drink or smoke and is the best. i got used to the stares and the b**cheness from boys and girls and to in one occassion burse arse for her defence. Again as a muslim I dont agree with showing too much flesh, but I am going to be fair when I sy she is a good friend.
Also what is worng with girls wanting to have fun! are they single? kids dont see the action! so whats wrong with what they are doing really? are they harming anyone?
exactly
sometimes we have to evaluate whats best for us and to hell with everyone!
____________________
BNV...resident Feminist
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Just_ME
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday June 5th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 164 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday August 31st, 2004 22:28 |
|
yeh your right i want to tell my friends about the gossiping but at the end of the day somthing liek this happened a while ago and when i tried to explain to them the situation they went crazy, they just dont listen ta suff like this, so......
they think im just being paranoid or jump off at the deepend couse alot of drama and ish then wen thing get ugly turn ta me and say will you help me, you my friend have you go ma back, to to prevent them doing any more damge to their own repuatations or getting them self into ish imm just let them live in blissful ignorence save us all from the mess
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Happiness
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Friday October 10th, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2142 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday September 1st, 2004 04:33 |
|
@ Just Me - I've just got one thng to say to you: ".....show me your friends and I will tell you who you are...."
Your choice in friends reflect who you are, so in my opinion you should care what you're friends are doing. (Sounds like their reputation is not too far off from the truth, though)
____________________
"What is your life worth?
If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human" ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Just_ME
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday June 5th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 164 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday September 1st, 2004 12:46 |
|
Big sighh........ hapiness i can see what you mean, but at the end of the day my friends are good people, even if they do come across in a negative way, i just dont wanna be coming across in that way  but if i dump friends i have had for the longest just beouse of what other people think wouldnt i be as bad as the gossips, becosue basically what i would be doing is going along with them.
The people giving me and my friend these reputations are not exactly hollyer than though, they themselves do not have the best reputations for a lot of reasons, but what makes the diffeence between them gossiping and others is as i have said they make up a large population of the black people within my area, and mud sticks lol and i dont want thins hanging ova me especially when it is a load of sh...
Its like this what is better giving up people i have been frieends with for years becouse of what gossipers think? and having subsequently no friends for a while, but still having a repuatation that is gonna take a while ta fade. Which may not even fade. to seek the aproval of a lot of two faced shallow people whoi dont even care about me.
or sticking with the people who dont gossip about me behind my back, are their for me when i want them, wont judge me for any reason, but then having alot of people stare at me in the streeet gossip about me behind my back for no reason, having my name constantly in peoples mouths, sn-igger make me out to be summit im not and basically make me feel like a freak.
at the end of the dsay this situation in no win for me
Last edited on Wednesday September 1st, 2004 12:47 by Just_ME
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Just_ME
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday June 5th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 164 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday September 2nd, 2004 01:46 |
|
| hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
ERYK
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday January 2nd, 2005 |
| Location: | CHICAGO, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday January 2nd, 2005 14:05 |
|
| MOVE OUT OF TOWN OR MINUMIZE THE GUY CONTACT. ALL THAT GETTING BUCK IN THE CLUB ISNT DOING YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ANY JUSTICE. GO WIT THE SECOND IDEAL. DONT LET ANYONE RUN YOU OUT OF TOWN. SO KEEP THE GUY STUFF AT SLOW HALT I DONT KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE. SO I WILL ASSUME THAT YOU GIRLS ARE YOUNG. OR THE GIRLS YOU ARE HANGING COULD BE TOO TOO MUCH OF A FLIRT. THATS JUST AS BAD.
____________________
If you dont mind..
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Soul_Lost
Villager
| Joined: | Thursday December 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 34 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Sunday January 2nd, 2005 17:21 |
|
ERYK wrote: MOVE OUT OF TOWN OR MINUMIZE THE GUY CONTACT. ALL THAT GETTING BUCK IN THE CLUB ISNT DOING YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ANY JUSTICE. GO WIT THE SECOND IDEAL. DONT LET ANYONE RUN YOU OUT OF TOWN. SO KEEP THE GUY STUFF AT SLOW HALT I DONT KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE. SO I WILL ASSUME THAT YOU GIRLS ARE YOUNG. OR THE GIRLS YOU ARE HANGING COULD BE TOO TOO MUCH OF A FLIRT. THATS JUST AS BAD.
woo i forgot i made this post.. its been a while
well ERYK you would be rite in assuming that i am young and my friends are young at 18. Well to just up date the situation, it has been resolved , well kinda, i decided to still be friends with my friends and be true to myself as i am my own person. However when i was out with my friends i was a lot more aware of how i came across rather than how my friends came across, like i said ill do me they can do them.
Well the long and short of it is i am not friends with those friends anymore becouse before the rumours and gossip was based on what clothes they wear and how they danced and now what is said about them is based on fact, those friends i had have become so rude, bichy, nasty, stuck up and stank all becouse they think they are gods gift to the male species and they can pull any male they want. And why do they think this becouse they go out now alot more than one night a week and males wanna be pushin all up on them. Sigh...... the sad fact is the people i was already to stick by and defend and chill wit no matter what people said dont exist, we use ta go out to a club to chill, dance and have a lough, now they go out to get minging drunk ( to the point they carnt remeber or have trouble walking) and see how many guys they can pull and that just aint me
but i aint sad i am a much better person for not being around em
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
ERYK
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday January 2nd, 2005 |
| Location: | CHICAGO, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday January 3rd, 2005 06:03 |
|
I AM HAPPY 4 YOU. YOU HAVE ANY OTHER Q. JUST GIVE ME A HOLLA....
____________________
If you dont mind..
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
_brown_eyes_
Villager
| Joined: | Friday January 14th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 188 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Saturday February 19th, 2005 12:20 |
|
Just_ME wrote:
Ok so I have a problem…..
Picture this you have some friends, they have been your friends for a while, and when you are together you have a laugh together and joke around together , sometimes they do some things that you don’t like and they annoy you some times, but hey they are your friends and know one is perfect.
Ok so they may dress a little provocatively sometimes dance a lil to wild and bee a lil nieve when it comes to males, now I am not saying that they sleep around or are hoe ish, in fact they are far from it, but when it comes to male attention they can be nieve in the males intention or how they act ( sometimes leading males on) and coming across in a way that doesn’t portray how they really are.
Now these friends are not like this 24 seven or 5 days out of a week, but do tend to let there hair down when we go clubbing . Which is only once a week
The problem is this out of this group I am the only black female and at the moment a local black community is rife with gossiping about my group of friends, they think that our group are whores and are easy and hoes basically, this group of people make up the majority of blacks within my area, and I don’t like the fact that the attention in being reflected upon me. Now don’t get me wrong the information being used ta base the reputations of our group in particular my friends is purely superficial , speculation, gossip and rumours. But still the reputations are their.
I am trying to take the attitude that I know the information and reputations are wrong so as long as I know this who cares, or that the people I know and care about and care about me know how I am so why care about gossips, but its not that easy. But at the end of the day it still bothering me, especially since i know that all this bull is untrue.
Friends who have told me about the gossip have told me that unless I distance my self from these people who have this reputation I will get one myself if its only that people assume im like the people I hang wit. But why should I when my friends haven’t done anything wrong, they are who they are and are not going to change cos some people care to gossip. And why should I be left wit no friends cos other people wanna gossip and speculate.
I have tried at tell them stuff like this b4 and ho they come across but I just got ma head bitten of cos they thought I wanted to change them, they made me realise that why should they change for people who hate on them,a nd why did I want them to change if I wanted to be friends with the gossips I should and if I didn’t why should they have to change for the gossips if they weren’t tht important ?
But still this is stilla problem L
i have the same situation to. but i have managed to distance myself.i still class them as my girls but im not as tight with them as i could be anymore. it gets to the point that when we go out now,they always get in a fight with someone because they heard how they stay and they dont like the way they been carryin on.its hard really hard cuz its like your caught in the middle. if you can..try an stick with your girls. people grow up an people change. (the girls i roll wid aint growin up)..
or you can find a new group of friends..
____________________
bored....
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
|
|
Current time is 01:17 | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Join the
Blacknet
mailing list
|
|
