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Forgive me father, for I have sinned
 Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya  

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blessingfromgod
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 Posted: Friday December 1st, 2006 21:04

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:(
Can any one give me advice on how you would release guilt ridden feelings?

I have done something I know is real bad, I know it doesn’t make it any better to say I was in real need, but I was. I am now riddled with shame and guilt! What can I do?

Has anyone ever done something that pricked their conscience to the point you were constantly miserable thinking you would be found out before you had a chance to rectify what you had done? How did you cope?

Please help.

 

Last edited on Friday December 1st, 2006 21:06 by blessingfromgod



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 Posted: Friday December 1st, 2006 23:37

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Hmmm I thought u were a religious person, do forgive me if I'm wrong.  If you are religious I would have thought u turned to God to help you with ur quandry? In any case if your feeling to elaborate then we here at bnv may be able to help you, or drop a pm if u don't care to share in public.



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 Posted: Saturday December 2nd, 2006 06:25

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blessingfromgod wrote: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

Write down what you've done wrong and set fire to it.  (That is just a suggestion to put in the image in your mind, think of something that suits you more if you want, even the title of your topic)

Now if you have a vivid imagination, then imagine yourself doing that or something similar everytime you are overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt. Afterwards imagine yourself having the feeling of relief, released from guilt. The more you practice the above the easier it will be to cope and to actually do it, until you are free of guilt. There is nothing on Earth that can be done without first imagining yourself doing it.

It's about breaking unhealthy patterns of thought more than anything else in this case. What you've done wrong doesn't really matter, since you are already feeling the consequences.


 


Last edited on Saturday December 2nd, 2006 06:29 by Peacemaker



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 Posted: Saturday December 2nd, 2006 08:52

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The best solution is to simply make up new rules which justify your life as you go along - I mean, have you seen how many versions of the bible there areniceone.gif



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 Posted: Saturday December 2nd, 2006 10:53

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Thank you guys for supporting.


This is not 'a way of life' rather an oppourtunity I decided to take because I was in need; knowing it was wrong but doing it anyway, is what I am feeling rotten about, I will replace what I took in a few weeks, but I am feeling like sh*t thinking about the ways I could be found out - this is a horrible feeling that I will have to ride out.

I have just over a week to wait and replace what I took, and I'm realising this could be where I get caught. PRAY FOR ME PLEASE.

 

Last edited on Friday December 8th, 2006 11:52 by blessingfromgod



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 Posted: Saturday December 2nd, 2006 14:10

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Listen whatever it is can't be that bad, and if it was done for unselfish reasons then the ends justify the means.  Yeah I'm a christian and I'm far from perfect but I'm not gonna beat myself up if I do something that may not be deemed "god like", I'll ask God to deal with me so if the situation arises again I know how to handle it differently.  God knows ur gonna stumble and fall so if he can forgive u, u should be able to forgive urself.



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blessingfromgod
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 Posted: Saturday December 2nd, 2006 14:46

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Facetygyal - I hear you sis, your so right when you wrote 'if God can forgive me then i too can forgive me' your right:)

 



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 Posted: Saturday December 2nd, 2006 23:56

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Yeah so just put that into practice, everyting happens for a reason and we go tru certain tings so we can learn from the experience.  Look for the positives in ur situation and you'll be fine.  Anytime u wanna talk about anyting just holla.



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 Posted: Sunday December 3rd, 2006 00:01

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Just keep sinning until the guilt feelings subside. Pleasure feels a heck of a lot better than abstinence and self control. Just do it again and again and again....there's no such thing as 'hell' so you need not worry. :)

Last edited on Sunday December 3rd, 2006 00:02 by Prince Hakeem



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 Posted: Sunday December 3rd, 2006 19:56

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god does not beat us up...we beat ourselves up.....it will be ok...lesson learned ..not? hopefully.... do some volunteer work or something to neutalize...the guilt...but most of all...if it makes u feel this bad....do not do it again...that is the lesson you may have needed at that particular time...we all have better choices ...even though at the time of need we may not be able to see it.....we all do things we wish we would not have done..sometimes we can make it right...sometimes we can not... best wishes...:)
aplogize to yourself for placing yourself in this position....lol
it works wonders...



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 Posted: Monday December 4th, 2006 18:21

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Thank you guys for your words of encouragment, I appreciate it all.

I still have not burnt anything that represents what I did, but I am praying everytime I am reminded of what I done - and I cos I dont relish these feelings:shock: I WONT BE DOING IT AGAIN - NO MATTER HOW MUCH IN NEED I AM. AMEN.

Last edited on Monday December 4th, 2006 18:22 by blessingfromgod



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 Posted: Thursday December 7th, 2006 17:45

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You might want to share it so that other people wouldn't commit the same sin if it that bad.

we might just learn from your experience.

I don't think you have done something that no one has ever done.



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 Posted: Thursday December 7th, 2006 23:30

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Saint, dont tempt me to tell all. I most def know I wont be the first or the last to do such a thing:shock: tink about it. It involes taking what aint yours, freedom at work and being mobile to start the cycle all over againblkcry coming to the realisation, girl, it's time to move on. When I think about it I have certainly got a C... mind, mind you, i'd say we all have, when it comes to survivalblkssh

Peacemaker why have you changed your pic? I really liked that Ostrich head and the parculiar glare it had.:?

Last edited on Thursday December 7th, 2006 23:31 by blessingfromgod



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 Posted: Friday December 8th, 2006 07:42

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If you have taken what is not yours and you feel guilty about it, return it then. Don't ask for forgiveness and hang on to it.

You got to return it, and then ask for forgiveness. That is called true repentance.

Everytime you see that thing, you remember it is not yours and that is why cannot really forget about it and move on, you need to let it go.  

As for me, it is very ok to take buscuit and fruits home from work. we are encouraged to help ourself. But i kind of know your feeling, When i worked at Xerox, i was kind of tempted to take printing papers home for my printer. There were thousands, but I did the opposite by doing all my printing and photocopying at work, in that way, i didn't feel guilty.

Last edited on Friday December 8th, 2006 07:43 by Saint



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 Posted: Friday December 8th, 2006 07:48

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Blessingfromgod, listen...

No-one is perfect, everyone stumbles at some point, and its ok, that is this journey called life! We can learn from our mistakes and reflect on what we would do differently next time, or just totally avoid (depending on what we are talking about here!).

 



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 Posted: Friday December 8th, 2006 11:54

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blessingfromgod wrote: Thank you guys for supporting.


This is not 'a way of life' rather an oppourtunity I decided to take because I was in need; knowing it was wrong but doing it anyway, is what I am feeling rotten about, I will replace what I took in a few weeks, but I am feeling like sh*t thinking about the ways I could be found out - this is a horrible feeling that I will have to ride out.

I have just over a week to wait and replace what I took, and I'm realising this could be where I get caught. PRAY FOR ME PLEASE.

 




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 Posted: Thursday December 14th, 2006 11:30

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BFG have you rectified the situation yet? Or will be doing so tomorrow? Let us know.



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 Posted: Thursday December 14th, 2006 11:49

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Lilthuggy thank you for asking. not as yet. I will be able to do so mid next week. Please pray for me as I am starting to get a bit worried. Thanks for your concern



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 Posted: Thursday December 14th, 2006 12:26

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Ok, I will pray for you. Keep strong.



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 Posted: Thursday December 14th, 2006 14:23

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I always thought one way of releasing guilt was through penance.  In other words confess to your deads (to the one you have wronged that is) and take the consequences.  Consequences is the price paid for the release of guilt.

Mind you, there is the dilemma that sometimes the 'pain of the consequences' is greater than the 'pain of the guilt', so it could be a case of the lesser of two evils. 

Still, you should take some comfort from the fact that the 'effects' (be they from the guilt or form the consequences) do erode over time and one day you will not feel as you do now.

However, it is not a bad thing to maintain some vestige of those guilt feelings, just in case you are ever faced with a similar choice in the future.  Then the memory of how bad you felt the last time may just be enough to stop you doing the same thing again.  If only hangeovers worked that way eh?

Respect



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 Posted: Thursday December 14th, 2006 18:45

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Backatya wrote: I always thought one way of releasing guilt was through penance.  In other words confess to your deads (to the one you have wronged that is) and take the consequences.  Consequences is the price paid for the release of guilt.

Mind you, there is the dilemma that sometimes the 'pain of the consequences' is greater than the 'pain of the guilt', so it could be a case of the lesser of two evils. 

Still, you should take some comfort from the fact that the 'effects' (be they from the guilt or form the consequences) do erode over time and one day you will not feel as you do now.

However, it is not a bad thing to maintain some vestige of those guilt feelings, just in case you are ever faced with a similar choice in the future.  Then the memory of how bad you felt the last time may just be enough to stop you doing the same thing again.  If only hangeovers worked that way eh?

Respect

 

Backatcha - You are right, but I couldn't confess to the source.  Re: holding the memory of guilt, I hear that cos I wont be doing it again.



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 Posted: Friday December 22nd, 2006 13:34

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So did you replace it BFG?



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 Posted: Friday December 22nd, 2006 15:50

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Whatever you did sounds like hella fun. banana.gif



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 Posted: Friday December 22nd, 2006 21:24

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Last edited on Friday December 22nd, 2006 21:29 by blessingfromgod



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 Posted: Friday December 22nd, 2006 21:26

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Lilthuggy - Yes, I have done (thank you) but let me tell you, it wasn't easy as I had to adjust a few things to cover my back. Pheww. I will not be doing this sh*t again - not worth it, in need or not.

@all advisers, bless you all for your good advice. 

@Prince Hakeem - It wasn't really.:( 



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 Posted: Friday December 22nd, 2006 21:28

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Lilthuggy - Yes, I have done (thank you) but let me tell you, it wasn't easy as I had to adjust a few things to cover my back. Pheww. I will not be doing this sh*t again - not worth it, in need or not.

@all advisers, bless you all for your good advice. 

@Prince Hakeem - It wasn't really.:( 



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