| Author | |
|---|
Miss Rant
Villager
| Joined: | Monday September 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 02:33 |
|
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and there has been many ups and downs but now we seem to be at a good point in our relationship. In the past, I never knew when I would see him because he visited me so sporadically and only when he felt like seeing me. His unpredictability and unreliability made me so unsure of him that in the beginning I continued to date other people which he constantly brought up although I was absolutely honest about it. I KNOW he was seeing other women, he just wasn't as honest about it as me. Now that we are exclusive, I still only see him once a week which is actually a lot compared to the past but I still feel unsatisfied with it. Here's a little background information to help you better understand the complexity of the situation:
Him He has 2 children (9 & 7) from a previous relationship that he actively raises with the mother. His kids and their mother live on his property although he doesn't live there, he lives with his mother who is soon retiring and moving to another state but plans on giving her property to him. He is a great father that does everything for his kids from picking them up from school to cooking their meals and helping with homework. I believe that these are great qualities for a man to have but his schedule is so filled with responsibilities that I only get to see him once a week. He also stands me up occasionally with lame excuses but he said he wouldn't do that anymore. I enjoy the time we spend together because I love him so much and I try to be understanding of his children and career but it makes me doubt his love for me since I can't see him when I want to. He says he loves me so much and he treates me nice but there were rumors in the past about him still sleeping with his kid's mother and I don't know what to believe. He spends so much time there it makes me wonder but the mother herself said they are not together and he says he hates her but why so much time over there? He's a gemini and that scares me because I know he has some bones in his closet.
Me He use to call me a heart breaker and a player for a long time jokingly but I feel he may still have those thoughts because he is very suspicious and his nerves get jangled easily. In the past when we were not exclusive he saw a few things and today he expresses it by always starring at me when I'm on the phone and questioning me a lot. I don't mind but it seems awkward coming from someone that's sort of secretive with me. I've even told him to stay away from me twice in the past but he wouldn't listen and I always took him back because I want to be with him but I often feel unsatisfied and I miss him right after he leaves.
Should I just leave him and start over with someone new or should I just accept my one day a week and make the best of it?
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Incognito
Villager
| Joined: | Sunday August 31st, 2003 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3479 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 08:24 |
|
Did you say Gemini? - Gal run!! LOL but you two sound like peas in a pod i.e it takes one to know one.
There is no trust, never was and never will be. How it is now is as good as it will ever get. Ask yourself if you accept this, and if you don't, stop wasting each others time....unless of the course the sex is really that good...hmm...did you say unsatisfied...maybe some of the sistas here can advise you on some alternatives.
There are 'two' kinds of people in this world, those who revolve anround sex and money and those who revolve around values and sacrifice, and those who meet the two in the middle.
Maybe your judging his devotion to his children and thinking that's the kind of father you want for 'yours'. Maybe you're in that love trap where love is simply an emotion created by the natural consequence of two people being together but sex aside you really have no idea what it is that makes this brotha tick.
Other than your declared love for this man I really can't see what it is you are doing for him. From his perspective my man sounds like he has you just where he wants or more needs you, as a squirt!...even more so if he has a demanding career.
Other than the love this man has for his children, love has nothing to do with it. The question is do you have enough respect for each other for the love to be anything more than a token gesture.
Last edited on Monday October 9th, 2006 09:09 by Incognito
____________________
I live satisfied that my enemies know I am right!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Abissinia
Villager
| Joined: | Friday April 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 4576 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 10:45 |
|
I don't even know what to say 
**Shakes Head**
____________________
I am powerful and i am loved.
I am powerful and i am loving.
I am powerful and i love it!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Peacemaker
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday May 15th, 2004 |
| Location: | ><_>< |
| Posts: | 3892 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 13:56 |
|
Miss Rant wrote:
Should I just leave him and start over with someone new or should I just accept my one day a week and make the best of it?
You've wasted six years of your life, try not to make it ten.
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
soulunique
Villager
| Joined: | Thursday July 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 135 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 14:00 |
|
No trust to me means no relationship and to build trsut you would have to work real hard.
Also have you thought about whether or not he respects you? men will sleep with women they do not respect but women they respect, trust and they care about they like to be around and will build a relationship with.
i recently had a conversation with a man about relationships and he said that people should not only consider what the other can provide them with but also look at themselves.
why should he want to build a relationship with you? what have you got that makes you stand out from the rest? know your positives and your weaknesses (other men) and work on it.
soul
ps being a good father should be standard.
____________________
culturally aware, spiritually grounded and beautifully unique
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Kibibi
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Wednesday May 18th, 2005 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 3392 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 14:13 |
|
Abissinia wrote: I don't even know what to say
**Shakes Head**
Lol
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
shopaholik
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 16:37 |
|
@ miss rant
you need to move on for your own sanity!
my friend was in a similar situation only she didnt know that for the two yrs she was with her man (or so she thought!) he was seeing two other women one who had already had his child, and one who he got pregnant while he was seeing my friend. actually he got them both pregnant at the same time but my friend had an abortion, the other girl kept it.
he had all three of them on the go.
so please don't stay with him, he most probably is cheating on you. i dont know you, but im sure your beautiful and you can do better. you don't need no man dragging you down. find someone who is going to take you seriously.
____________________
Never too busy to be beautiful.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Kunjufu
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Monday October 9th, 2006 19:34 |
|
| Answer: Played like a HARP!!!!
____________________
African heart, African mind
    Â
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Miss Rant
Villager
| Joined: | Monday September 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 16:22 |
|
| Thank you everyone for responding because I am very torn over this. He constantly tells me I'm the one pushing him away but I really don't see how. I've pleaded with him in the past to stay away from me if he cares about me because he knows I do deserve better but he always counters with "I wouldn't have been with you for so long if I were just using you." I know I have a lot to offer and I am just as successful as he is but between his kids and his work, I don't get the attention that I need. Sex aside, he often hints that If I cooked and was more domesticated things would be different but I feel if I did those things, I would just be opening myself to be used some more if he really is using me after all. Plus his kid's mother use to be a Caribbean Betty Crocker and I don't want to be compared to her and having to try to fill her shoes. I trust what he tells me until I see to the contrary and I have caught him in a lie before so that is when I began to question what he's telling me and his true motives behind why he is with me. He told me that in the beginning he was playing games but he has changed and that some of the games were because of the way that I acted and that he was scared that another man would pop into the scenario. In the beginning I did play a few games too but it was only because he was so evasive and I also heard those rumors that made me not want to be exclusive with him. I see some changes as I could go 2 or 3 weeks with out seeing him before but now I see him once a week and it still feels like not enough. He says he's with me on his only day off but I feel like why can't he lose a few hours of sleep to see me? He says in the mornings he has to drop the kids off, go to work, pick the kids up and wait for the their mother to come home from work and that leaves little time for me because I go to work shortly after that. I'm willing to lose a little sleep and I do often for him so why can't he do the same for me?
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Israfil
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 16:30 |
|
find yourself somebody who is there always for you
good luck wish you all the best
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Amber21
Villager
| Joined: | Friday July 28th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 87 |
| Photo: | [Download] |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 19:03 |
|
| Its very heartbreaking waiting around like that until his day-off comes, girl you must feel so frustrated, not good move on.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Kunjufu
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 19:27 |
|
Miss Rant wrote: I'm willing to lose a little sleep and I do often for him so why can't he do the same for me?
Hmmm here's a clue because he doesn't love you idiot!!!Heelloooo.... You know what!!! I have a better idea why don't you go to a tattooist and have the words: WELCOME emblazened on your back at least that way he'll know exactly where to wipe his feet when he comes to see you next...
____________________
African heart, African mind
    Â
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 20:27 |
|
Kunjufu wrote: Miss Rant wrote: I'm willing to lose a little sleep and I do often for him so why can't he do the same for me?
Hmmm here's a clue because he doesn't love you idiot!!!Heelloooo.... You know what!!! I have a better idea why don't you go to a tattooist and have the words: WELCOME emblazened on your back at least that way he'll know exactly where to wipe his feet when he comes to see you next...
Cold, icy even.
Look, he may well love you in his own way, he may well respect you in his own way, but you deserve so much better than this.
Games aside, when you actually make a commitment to one another it means seeing the person as an equal. Girl, you so way down his list it's not funny.
Whether or not he's cheating (irrelevant) if he really wanted to be with you he would. Seems like your an afterthought, a "better keep her happy" type friend.
Move on. Six years is a looooong time.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Kunjufu
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 20:31 |
|
Vezz. wrote: Cold, icy even.
Look, he may well love you in his own way, he may well respect you in his own way, but you deserve so much better than this.
Games aside, when you actually make a commitment to one another it means seeing the person as an equal. Girl, you so way down his list it's not funny.
Whether or not he's cheating (irrelevant) if he really wanted to be with you he would. Seems like your an afterthought, a "better keep her happy" type friend.
Move on. Six years is a looooong time.
**vulgar comments alert**
VEZZ: cold maybe..but am I lying? As a man I read her responses and I think wow here's an easy touch, a fool and a cotch where if i play it right, I can get some layaway p***y on demand... it couldn't be more obvious than if she had eediot written across her forehead..
____________________
African heart, African mind
    Â
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Vezz.
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 21:21 |
|
Kunjufu wrote: Vezz. wrote: Cold, icy even.
Look, he may well love you in his own way, he may well respect you in his own way, but you deserve so much better than this.
Games aside, when you actually make a commitment to one another it means seeing the person as an equal. Girl, you so way down his list it's not funny.
Whether or not he's cheating (irrelevant) if he really wanted to be with you he would. Seems like your an afterthought, a "better keep her happy" type friend.
Move on. Six years is a looooong time.
**vulgar comments alert**
VEZZ: cold maybe..but am I lying? As a man I read her responses and I think wow here's an easy touch, a fool and a cotch where if i play it right, I can get some layaway p***y on demand... it couldn't be more obvious than if she had eediot written across her forehead..
Funnily enough I have "Secret Lovers" by Altantic Star playing in the background.
It sometimes takes a person a long time to see the glaringly obvious. She obviously loves the man, so maybe we should be helping her kick his Black (I hope!) arse to the kerb and move on.
Been there, done that, so know it's not always that easy - especially in this day and age when there is a shortage of Black, single, career-orientated young men, so I can't knock her for holding on for dear life - even though he is playing her like a fiddle.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Soulstarr
Villager
| Joined: | Saturday October 16th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 2190 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 21:54 |
|
Looks around...
*runs for cover*
____________________
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Prince Hakeem
Villager
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Tuesday October 10th, 2006 23:22 |
|
| Is he playing you? Like a guitar tu rahtid!! Last edited on Tuesday October 10th, 2006 23:23 by Prince Hakeem
____________________
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Miss Rant
Villager
| Joined: | Monday September 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday October 11th, 2006 02:24 |
|
What I don't understand is why he would do this to me and for so long? He's an attractive man, he can find sex anywhere, why waist my precious time? It would have hurt me as well, but why didn't he date me for a little while and then just stopped calling after a few months rather then let it drag out like this? I would have taken that better then this. I know most of you are right so I'm interested in some steps I can take to dump him and keep him away? How do I keep from getting weak if he comes to my home or calls? He can truly talk himself out any situation and can change subjects in a blink of an eye, how do I combat that? I know that I can find someone else and have brushed off a few men in the 6 years I've known him but its difficult starting all over again since I've been with only for the past 5 years. Even my parents love him but they don't quite know all that is going on. He said he wants his kid's mother to get out so he can have his house back but he doesn't want his kids to move and he has no real plans for them to either. I do need someone that is more reliable and I told him this before and he always puts it back on me saying I don't tell him these things and I expect him to be a mind reader. I do keep a lot of feelings to myself when I'm upset with him often because he switches subjects so quickly. I could be telling him my deepest feelings and next thing you know, we are talking about his kids or the news.
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
stick-upKid
Villager
| Joined: | Wednesday August 10th, 2005 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 1328 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday October 11th, 2006 08:05 |
|
Another random new member sob story.
____________________
They want you to Forget History.
They want you to Forgive Injustice.
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
Abissinia
Villager
| Joined: | Friday April 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 4576 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday October 11th, 2006 13:02 |
|
Ok people **shakes Head**
Ms rant???? Come on now, even the screen name is a dead give way. This is just some retards idea of having a larf. I tell you what some men have a real issue, I bet the person who created this thread is the same looser who also created the alter ego darth Norman. A person with real issues with women, probably flaming gay too. Gay, gay, gay, gay!!!!
Sick to my back teeth of this wanna be militant pricks that can’t even be up front about their true feelings and have to make up alter egos just to say something that might be deemed unpopular or to demean women while using their screen name they are known by the BN folks to talk goobly goo, which I am quite convinced they think they are dropping some serious wisdom ROTFLMAO.
There is no way is this ms rant real. Not even a certified retard will ask stupid question as “is he playing me� especially after all that information even a child with learning difficulty could tell you what’s up. Nope I refuse to believe a grown woman could be as stupid as that, could be stupid enough to wait on the man and think she could make him fall in love with her lalaland rubbish but at least after six long years she would know exactly what’s going on.
Only a mentally f**ked up man could think to create a stupid ass thread as this one and the follow ups grrrr!! come on you been around women long enough, you’ve seen how threads similar to this one have gone down before, if it had been a woman I am as sure as the winter flu she would have cussed a couple of people or even tried to defend the moron.
Argh!!!
Just come out of the damn closet and leave women alone goddamit.
____________________
I am powerful and i am loved.
I am powerful and i am loving.
I am powerful and i love it!
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Saida.M
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Tuesday November 11th, 2003 |
| Location: | RACIST UK |
| Posts: | 3963 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Wednesday October 11th, 2006 14:10 |
|
lol @abs - say it girl!
Whether her story is true or not, (I'm not going to judge), you'd be surprised what bad things some women do put up with for longer than six years!
____________________
People readily believe lies before they believe the truth
"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
Good News Bible. Rev. Ch.13 V.3
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
yogi
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday February 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 185 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday October 12th, 2006 11:39 |
|
Abissinia wrote: Ok people **shakes Head**
Ms rant???? Come on now, even the screen name is a dead give way. This is just some retards idea of having a larf. I tell you what some men have a real issue, I bet the person who created this thread is the same looser who also created the alter ego darth Norman. A person with real issues with women, probably flaming gay too. Gay, gay, gay, gay!!!!
Sick to my back teeth of this wanna be militant pricks that can’t even be up front about their true feelings and have to make up alter egos just to say something that might be deemed unpopular or to demean women while using their screen name they are known by the BN folks to talk goobly goo, which I am quite convinced they think they are dropping some serious wisdom ROTFLMAO.
There is no way is this ms rant real. Not even a certified retard will ask stupid question as “is he playing me� especially after all that information even a child with learning difficulty could tell you what’s up. Nope I refuse to believe a grown woman could be as stupid as that, could be stupid enough to wait on the man and think she could make him fall in love with her lalaland rubbish but at least after six long years she would know exactly what’s going on.
Only a mentally f**ked up man could think to create a stupid ass thread as this one and the follow ups grrrr!! come on you been around women long enough, you’ve seen how threads similar to this one have gone down before, if it had been a woman I am as sure as the winter flu she would have cussed a couple of people or even tried to defend the moron.
Argh!!!
Just come out of the damn closet and leave women alone goddamit. There is nothing about this post that is unusual in my opinion. If you are going to give an opinion about this post at least give the reasons why you think this way. I have heard on other message boards why people don't post on blacknet becuase of people like you. whether the post is genuine or not it is not your place to judge. If you choose to think it is NOT genuine then don't reply. Everyone who reads this post after what you have written will think the poster of the message is someone playing a nasty joke when it can also be very real and this girl is really crying out for help. Girl I seriously doubt your sanity. I guess this is what happens when parents don't put a parental lock on thier computer. Yogi Last edited on Thursday October 12th, 2006 11:43 by yogi
____________________
www.blacksearch.co.uk - Helping to promote Black African and Caribbean Websites
|
Abissinia
Villager
| Joined: | Friday April 30th, 2004 |
| Location: | London, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 4576 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
Click here for your Black Profile
Search for Black Sites
|
Posted: Thursday October 12th, 2006 12:45 |
|
I am assuming the insults was intended to start something.......
Sorry not me, and definitely not today!
Bye bye
All i can say to the rest is that, don't get mad just because i see what you can not.
LOL people haven't even figured out the real person behind Darth Norman yet who btw has been posting for some time.
Just know that i am not one you can easily manipulate and i can assure you that there are at least a dozen people who knows exactly who i am talking about.
Again don't get mad just because you can't see what i and many others can.
BTW, had this thread been for real, my advice would have been to go take a running jump in to the Thames River.
**kiss teeth**
____________________
I am powerful and i am loved.
I am powerful and i am loving.
I am powerful and i love it!
____________________
Click here for your Black Profile
|
yogi
Villager
| Joined: | Tuesday February 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 185 |
| Photo: | |
| Status: |
Offline | |
