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chi
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 08:39 |
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Ladies what would you do if you had broken off a relationship with a guy, but as time goes by, you realise your feelings for him are getting stronger. You both meet and he informes you that he is leaving the country.......do you..
a) Tell him exactly how you feel....but let him go anyway
b) keep it to yourself and work on getting over him
c) Do something completely different...(you choose)
So ladies.......what say you?
I dont really know what I would do to be honest.
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soulunique
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 08:49 |
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i would personally question my feelings- why is it that im feeling this way now? could it be becuase i dont want to be alone? id have to use my head as well as my heart.
would i tell him if i found the feelings to be very true yes but then would i be telling him to stop him from leaving??- basically am i being selfish?
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 09:23 |
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Now I know this ones for the ladies buy hey yall always diving into the mens thrwads so im gonna give my opinion here..
let him go and say nothing... why stuff up his plans just cos your feeling a ting for him.
who knows you could tell him and he may stay...then 6 months down the line you break up again..whats the point?
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chi
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 09:43 |
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chi wrote: Ladies what would you do if you had broken off a relationship with a guy, but as time goes by, you realise your feelings for him are getting stronger. You both meet and he informes you that he is leaving the country.......do you..
a) Tell him exactly how you feel....but let him go anyway.........(its not about forcing him to stay...but more letting him know how you feel, even though he is leaving..lol)
b) keep it to yourself and work on getting over him
c) Do something completely different...(you choose)
So ladies.......what say you?
I dont really know what I would do to be honest.
Blackpower......in fact I now think it should be open to everyone, not just the gals, so your contribution is indeed welcome. Its true if he decides he feels the same, you may still break up later...or maybe not.
What a juicy dilemma...lol
Last edited on Monday September 4th, 2006 09:58 by chi
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BIG L
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 11:14 |
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If black power is commenting so will I.
There is a logical reason why we went our separate ways, so why would I want to get back with her? Hell no, once the women don’t want me anymore I will find another…besides I’m 22 years old and I don’t need a long term relationship unless it’s the women I intentionally will marry!
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Aryek
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 18:06 |
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| If I was undoubtedly in love with him, ideally what I think I'd want to do is tell him how I feel but let him go anyway. But knowing me, I'd probably opt for option "b" in a real life situation.
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yuntty
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Posted: Monday September 4th, 2006 20:31 |
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chi wrote: Ladies what would you do if you had broken off a relationship with a guy, but as time goes by, you realise your feelings for him are getting stronger. You both meet and he informes you that he is leaving the country.......do you..
a) Tell him exactly how you feel....but let him go anyway
b) keep it to yourself and work on getting over him
c) Do something completely different...(you choose)
So ladies.......what say you?
I dont really know what I would do to be honest.
Not sure what I'd do in reality but logically ,it would depend on how we left the relationship,i.e. are we still mates,phuck budddies or enemies..
as friends/mates ..option (a) makes sense..
as non friends maybe not,might just be a rogue residual feeling,or not wanting him to get away esp if I haven't moved on,frantic panic..so maybe (b) at this junction..
but still only the real circumstance can determine the real reaction..
some folk might just camp outside wherever he moves to abroad;
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chi
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 07:45 |
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Very interesting views........I would agree with Yuntty though and a bit with Aryek.
It would be very difficult for me to just come out and say it, throwing caution to the wind and all that. I think I would have to let him know though, but only if it was an amicable split. Then let him go.
I remember being told of a story of a guy who was about 80 who had been with a woman who he loved when he was a young lad, but they split and he moved town without a trace and changed his name etc.........he spent about 30 years looking for the lady, who had since married a man she didn't even love, he finally found her and regretted not telling her exactly how he felt at the time, it turned it she felt the same and had tried to look for him before she married, but as he changed his name she couldn't.
They were filled with so much regret. I thought that was sad, sad, sad.
 It doesn't mean it would have worked out anyway though does it.
Last edited on Tuesday September 5th, 2006 07:50 by chi
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Abissinia
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 14:27 |
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Tough one!
I would probably question my feelings. I'll need to work out what i expect him to do once i have told him how i feel, do i expect him to cancel his plans and stay? what about if he asked me to follow him where ever he's moving too? am i prepared to leave the life i have behind? If not then it isn't serious so probably will not say anything.
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chi
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 15:11 |
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Abissinia wrote: Tough one!
I would probably question my feelings. I'll need to work out what i expect him to do once i have told him how i feel, do i expect him to cancel his plans and stay? what about if he asked me to follow him where ever he's moving too? am i prepared to leave the life i have behind? If not then it isn't serious so probably will not say anything.
I didn't even think about that, it could happen though........
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Melissa
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 16:30 |
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C
You've obviously kept in touch so i'd say the feelings are both there on both sides.
Continue to do so, go out and visit him, good ezcuse for a holiday, absence makes the heart grow fonder, maybe all that long distance communication will enhance your relationship and make it stronger
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DSP
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 17:28 |
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| So Chioma... is this the situation you are in?
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chi
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 20:55 |
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DSP wrote: So Chioma... is this the situation you are in?
Chioma? Who be dat?...lol
Chi isn't short for Chioma in my case DSP, but you can call me that if you wish, I just love that name.
Am I in that position? I'll put it this way....... kinda sorta maybe....or not.
Last edited on Tuesday September 5th, 2006 20:59 by chi
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DSP
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Posted: Tuesday September 5th, 2006 23:49 |
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chi wrote: DSP wrote: So Chioma... is this the situation you are in?
Chioma? Who be dat?...lol
Chi isn't short for Chioma in my case DSP, but you can call me that if you wish, I just love that name.
Am I in that position? I'll put it this way....... kinda sorta maybe....or not.
ok, Chizobah, Chi Chi... j/k
I'll call you Chioma since you like that name...
kinda sorta...lol. Anonymously seeking advice. Well I hope you get into a better position. I have a couple I could help you with... 
in this case, only you know what's best, you jus have to listen to your little voice.
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chi
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 09:57 |
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DSP wrote: chi wrote: DSP wrote: So Chioma... is this the situation you are in?
Chioma? Who be dat?...lol
Chi isn't short for Chioma in my case DSP, but you can call me that if you wish, I just love that name.
Am I in that position? I'll put it this way....... kinda sorta maybe....or not.
ok, Chizobah, Chi Chi... j/k
I'll call you Chioma since you like that name...
kinda sorta...lol. Anonymously seeking advice. Well I hope you get into a better position. I have a couple I could help you with...
in this case, only you know what's best, you jus have to listen to your little voice.
....lol.........and theres me trying to cover my tracks....lol
Its not the exact situation though. You're right about my little voice, if only she would stop flip flopping every ten minutes...lol
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specialle
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 18:51 |
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if it was me... i would let him go... cas if you supposed to be you will be. distance will not alter that fact,
Dont say anything, If he really wants to be with you he will say so and he will keep in contact, Holding a person back with unclear emotions helps no one and is selfish.
If he wants to leave the country and you dont there is already a problem,
all that needs to be known is why is he leaving ...does he want to go back or has he no reason to stay?
find the answer to that... and you will know what to do next....
Attachment: the-kiss-by-wak.jpg (Downloaded 239 times)
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specialle
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 18:51 |
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if it was me... i would let him go... cas if you supposed to be you will be. distance will not alter that fact,
Dont say anything, If he really wants to be with you he will say so and he will keep in contact, Holding a person back with unclear emotions helps no one and is selfish.
If he wants to leave the country and you dont there is already a problem,
all that needs to be known is why is he leaving ...does he want to go back or has he no reason to stay?
find the answer to that... and you will know what to do next....
Attachment: the-kiss-by-wak.jpg (Downloaded 240 times)
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Abissinia
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 21:10 |
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chi wrote: You're right about my little voice, if only she would stop flip flopping every ten minutes...lol
Here's your answer...... If you have to keep thinking or changing your mind about your true feelings towards him then its probably a momentary thing... I am guessing you'll probably find yourself not even thinking about him in a short few weeks/months.
Time! seriously starting to believe was/is best thing before slice bread and since slice bread.............
Things i thought i couldn't leave without then are distant memory to me now.... not even significant time in my life just another distant memory which i have to sometimes be reminded by nearest and dearest... however at that particular time it did feel like everything.
Funny that!
Let it go i say and see if in a few weeks/months it does in fact become a distant memory or more than that, make your mind up then...........
May i also suggest you read the book "he's just not that in to you" before making up your mind..........
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chi
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 21:19 |
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Thanks Abbisinia.....I am certain of my feelings, but just not whether I should let him know the deal.......its just easier to leave things as they are.
The scenario isn't the exact situation. We still talk and are good friends and he has expressed that maybe we should think about another try, but for some reason I just cant get the words out of my mouth............he probably thinks I'm no longer interested, but thats not the truth.
I'm just finding it hard to come out and say it.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 21:41 |
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Girl! then what you need to be doing is getting plastered and making that call.......... well ok probably plastered is not a good word to use but possibly tipsy (you have to admit that alcohol does give you a false sense of confidence)... since he has done his bit, make that call and say your piece. And if nothing comes of it then at least you don't have to wonder about the what ifs.........
About the book i recommended in my ^^ post, book suggests that if a guy is really into you, he will DO whatever possible to make sure you are into each other... something to do with competitiveness and men stuff i can't quite recall but i remember unequivocaly (sp) agreeing with it at the time.
Anyways think about that if you have the time........ if not just say your piece and see what happens.
As the saying goes what can't kill you makes you stronger!!
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yuntty
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Posted: Wednesday September 6th, 2006 22:35 |
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chi wrote: Thanks Abbisinia.....I am certain of my feelings, but just not whether I should let him know the deal.......its just easier to leave things as they are.
The scenario isn't the exact situation. We still talk and are good friends and he has expressed that maybe we should think about another try, but for some reason I just cant get the words out of my mouth............he probably thinks I'm no longer interested, but thats not the truth.
I'm just finding it hard to come out and say it.
SINCE YOU'VE PROVIDED A BIT MORE..
I'M MORE INCLINED TO BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT THAT SURE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OR PERHAPS DON'T BELIEVE HE SINCERE ABOUT HIS..
OTHERWISE WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEBODY,YOU'RE NOT HESITANT, HENCE THE TERM "FALLING IN LOVE"
MAYBE YOUR HESITANCE IS A DEFENCE MECH STOPPING YOU FROM MAKING A MISTAKE,I'M WITH ABS ON THIS ONE, PERHAPS WAITING TO SEE WHAT SOME TIME AND DISTANCE BRINGS TO THE FEELINGS ON BOTH SIDES WILL MAKE YOUR DECISION EASIER..
OH,AND THE THING ABOUT THE "TINY VOICE" ,THATS GOOD TOO..BUT I THINK YOU'RE CONFUSING IT WITH THE FLIPPANT HUMAN MIND, THE "TINY VOICE" IS USUALLY QUITE FIRM BUT MOSTLY UNPOPULAR ...
PEACE CHI ...
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chi
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Posted: Thursday September 7th, 2006 06:35 |
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Thanks Yuntty........
I know I'm sure of what I feel (not in love though).....after milling it over, I now know its fear that is stopping me, not lack of genuine feeling.
Thanks for the advice though.
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Kibibi
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Posted: Thursday September 7th, 2006 10:45 |
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LOL@plastered. Ermm...
@ Chi fear of what?
Last edited on Thursday September 7th, 2006 10:48 by Kibibi
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chi
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Posted: Thursday September 7th, 2006 11:00 |
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BlackBeauty wrote: LOL@plastered. Ermm...
@ Chi fear of what?
See blackbeauty, I cant really explain in great detail because there is another dimension to this situation which I cant really go into. ( and no he's not married...lol)
Yeah getting plastered.....lol, but I'm considering it though, at least I can blame it on the drink, "I said what! never", now you know I cant hold my drink dear".....lol
Last edited on Thursday September 7th, 2006 11:03 by chi
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Kibibi
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Posted: Thursday September 7th, 2006 11:45 |
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chi wrote:
See blackbeauty, I cant really explain in great detail because there is another dimension to this situation which I cant really go into. ( and no he's not married...lol)
I understand
Yeah getting plastered.....lol, but I'm considering it though, at least I can blame it on the drink, "I said what! never", now you know I cant hold my drink dear".....lol
Indeed!
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yuntty
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Posted: Thursday September 7th, 2006 16:46 |
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