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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 11:30 |
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Hey everyone....A friend asked me to cook for her house warming party on saturday and i accepted. After having a look at what she wanted cooked, i thought the price of £100 would fair as i would be cooking over 10 dishes for 50 people or maybe more(she is pupplying everything except the cooking pots), but she complained that £100 is too much as she had someone else who was ready to do it for £120.00 AND still provide serving plates etc so she wanted to pay me £70 instead.
I still think thats just way too small as cooking the kind of food she wants me to cook is HARD work and the amount of food is a LOT. Most of this dishes i have to boil them, season them, fry them and then stew some of them. I know how hard it is because i love cooking and i know how hard a job it is.
She is a friend and i felt bad so in a moment of stupidty and naivety i agreed on the £70 fees last night. However i've had a change of heart and realise how stupid i was. I should have made my case a little bit more clear and explained the hard work it would entails to cook from Friday afternoon all through Saturday the whole day!
How do i approach it with her tonight without turning this into a difficult issue with her? I really do NOT feel like i could do my cooking with one heart when i feel like i am working like a slave for silly money.
Please help before i see her tonight....
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Abissinia
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 11:39 |
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You know how i feel about it already; i thought £130 was way too small to spend hours in the damn kitchen  . I wouldn't do it even for £300 but that's just me. You made your 1st mistake when you agreed to do the cooking before asking the price, you made your 2nd mistake when you again agreed to the reduced price  . Methinks you should do the cooking as its now way too late to cancel or argue about price and just use it as an experience and a way to advertise your services to the guests.
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Incognito
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 11:40 |
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Well Mez, every person on this planet will tell you it's easy to taste the difference between a cooked meal and a meal cooked from the heart - the former tastes like garbage.
Sounds like a friend where either way you'll lose....if you do it for 70 quid she'll complain and if you do it for 100 she'll complain. Classic case of one person doing it for the money and another from the heart i.e the person doing it for 120 quid probably will do it half as good as you for 70 quid.
The amount of money I could have made if I charged so called friends for the work I've done......they'd all be in debt. Charge her the 100 quid, if she declines then tell her as a friend you are more than willing to help the other people who are charging her 120 quid....for 20 quid.
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 11:46 |
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Abissinia wrote: You know how i feel about it already; i thought £130 was way too small to spend hours in the damn kitchen . I wouldn't do it even for £300 but that's just me. You made your 1st mistake when you agreed to do the cooking before asking the price, you made your 2nd mistake when you again agreed to the reduced price . Methinks you should do the cooking as its now way too late to cancel or argue about price and just use it as an experience and a way to advertise your services to the guests.
But Abs the advert wouldn't have much of an effect if she tells the guests that i did it for next to nothing. Because they would be expecting me to do it around that price and i would have to spend more time arguing about making a mistake, thats hardly proffesional is it?
I don't want to cancel, but i don't think its too late to explain the hard work it involve and let her decide what she wants to do.
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 11:50 |
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Incognito wrote: Well Mez, every person on this planet will tell you it's easy to taste the difference between a cooked meal and a meal cooked from the heart - the former tastes like garbage.
Sounds like a friend where either way you'll lose....if you do it for 70 quid she'll complain and if you do it for 100 she'll complain. Classic case of one person doing it for the money and another from the heart i.e the person doing it for 120 quid probably will do it half as good as you for 70 quid.
The amount of money I could have made if I charged so called friends for the work I've done......they'd all be in debt. Charge her the 100 quid, if she declines then tell her as a friend you are more than willing to help the other people who are charging her 120 quid....for 20 quid.
Thanks Incognito....i was already thinking of telling her, its just i don't know how to word myself without sounding like i only care about the money. I just want to make it clear and simple to her about my position. I don't want to turn into a moany match.
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bubz
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 11:50 |
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Mezmerized wrote: Hey everyone....A friend asked me to cook for her house warming party on saturday and i accepted. After having a look at what she wanted cooked, i thought the price of £100 would fair as i would be cooking over 10 dishes for 50 people or maybe more(she is pupplying everything except the cooking pots), but she complained that £100 is too much as she had someone else who was ready to do it for £120.00 AND still provide serving plates etc so she wanted to pay me £70 instead.
I still think thats just way too small as cooking the kind of food she wants me to cook is HARD work and the amount of food is a LOT. Most of this dishes i have to boil them, season them, fry them and then stew some of them. I know how hard it is because i love cooking and i know how hard a job it is.
She is a friend and i felt bad so in a moment of stupidty and naivety i agreed on the £70 fees last night. However i've had a change of heart and realise how stupid i was. I should have made my case a little bit more clear and explained the hard work it would entails to cook from Friday afternoon all through Saturday the whole day!
How do i approach it with her tonight without turning this into a difficult issue with her? I really do NOT feel like i could do my cooking with one heart when i feel like i am working like a slave for silly money.
Please help before i see her tonight....
there isnt a huge difference between £70 and £100, would you accept £85 maybe? if she is providing everything then it will not cost you anything to do this job...except your time. so the money seems really more of a gesture rather than a 'fee'. as it is a friend asking then i see nothing wrong with doing something (you must enjoy cooking to have agreed) in your spare time for her. if cooking/catering is your regular profession then i can see why you may be looking at this from a more 'businesslike' point of view rather than 'a friend doing a favour' point of view. it would probably help to try seeing it as a one off, it's not an every week thing, and next time you need a favour you know who to ask. also, the financial status of you and the friend needs to be looked at. if she's loaded and your broke then i too would be a bit pissed. but if you are loaded and you know she is struggling, then it's nice to have the opportunity to do something for a friend in need, and I may even refuse any money, especially if it is not actually costing me anything except time to do it. if you can rope in some help, you might find it takes even less time to do it than you thought.
if you have decided you really are not prepared to do it for only £70 then just explain to your friend that you have had a think about it and you realise it is a whole lot of work and you really cannot do it. then if she offers to increase the money, you can pretend to think about it and then agree.
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 12:05 |
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bubz wrote: there isnt a huge difference between £70 and £100, would you accept £85 maybe? if she is providing everything then it will not cost you anything to do this job...except your time. so the money seems really more of a gesture rather than a 'fee'. as it is a friend asking then i see nothing wrong with doing something (you must enjoy cooking to have agreed) in your spare time for her. if cooking/catering is your regular profession then i can see why you may be looking at this from a more 'businesslike' point of view rather than 'a friend doing a favour' point of view. it would probably help to try seeing it as a one off, it's not an every week thing, and next time you need a favour you know who to ask. also, the financial status of you and the friend needs to be looked at. if she's loaded and your broke then i too would be a bit pissed. but if you are loaded and you know she is struggling, then it's nice to have the opportunity to do something for a friend in need, and I may even refuse any money, especially if it is not actually costing me anything except time to do it. if you can rope in some help, you might find it takes even less time to do it than you thought.
if you have decided you really are not prepared to do it for only £70 then just explain to your friend that you have had a think about it and you realise it is a whole lot of work and you really cannot do it. then if she offers to increase the money, you can pretend to think about it and then agree.
I wouldn't say she is loaded, but she isn't broke either. I'm at Uni, just finished and i haven't managed to get a job yet so my finances aren't good at all. And i wanted to turn this into a business kind of thing as a part time income, and i feel that its not fair for me to start with favours.
And yes, i did want to see this as a one off thing for a friend, but believe me the kind of food and the amount of food she wanted is HARD work. Thats why i believe the price is a bit too low. On your last point of advice, can't i just get straight to the point with her instead of going around the bush about it?
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Abissinia
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 12:37 |
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Mezmerized wrote:
But Abs the advert wouldn't have much of an effect if she tells the guests that i did it for next to nothing. Because they would be expecting me to do it around that price and i would have to spend more time arguing about making a mistake, thats hardly proffesional is it?
I don't want to cancel, but i don't think its too late to explain the hard work it involve and let her decide what she wants to do.
You can always agree a price she can tell the people instead of £70, but since you're definitely not happy with it i think you should definitely have a word with her and the sooner the better.
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En Sabah Nur
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 13:28 |
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| You already accepted. Unless you wish to break your word then there is no dilemma.
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liberiangirl
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 13:39 |
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I know shes your friend but from what it seems like, she is trying to get cheap labor out of you. Would she expect to pay 70 for a stranger to cook that much food for her(w/o serving plates)? I doubt it, so its seems like maybe cus your friends she thinks she entitled to some sort of discount, which isnt fair to you. Is she aware of your financial situation?
But a bit off topic but i was in this same situation one as well, except i was the one recieving the services. I had a friend who was going to do some individual braids for me, so for payment I went ahead and bought her an outfit and on top of that I payed her 20 dollars. Mind you i wasnt about to pay her the salon price for micros, 100 to 200 dollars because A) she was not a proffesional hair stylist and, B) this was her first time ever doing micros on someone. But when the girl did the micros she still demanded that i pay her 40 dollars more..... i was like wha?Even though the outfit wasnt direct payment it was still a favor i was doing in exchange for her doing my hair, so i didnt understand why she was demanding more money from me, especially when she knew i didnt have that much. But overall, i think it all came down to miscommunication. She didnt say what price she wanted for doing my hair to begin with, and i dont think she understood that the clothes i bought her were in effect part of her payment. On top of that she never completed all of my hair and was still demanding more money so we ended up in major disagreement.
And i think miscommunication is the main problem in your scenario. The woman doesnt seem to undestand what hard work it is cooking all that food and you didnt covey that information to her. Also she may not be aware of your financial situation so she may not know that you cant afford to be doing big favors for so little money at this time. I think it is important for you to sit down and have a talk with her about this, and tell her all these things. If she is really your friend, then she will definetly compromise and agree to pay you a little more even if its not 100 dollars. Just because you' re a friend doesnt automatically mean that she is entitled to huge discounts. Otherwise if she wont budge, then let her pay 120 dollars to the other person, it'll be more money out of her pocket.
And you're right to be concerned about this setting a standard as to how much money others will pay you in the future. Others who demand the same services will not understand why you wont accept 70 dollars for them, so its best to just nip this in the bud right now.
Last edited on Tuesday June 20th, 2006 13:49 by liberiangirl
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 14:19 |
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@ Mez
Tell her this.
I know I agreed to £100, and I will stick to that because you are a friend and I am doing this as a one-off. However, I am concerned that other people may think £70 is what I normally charge this kind of thing. In fact the cost in time, effort and ingredients makes it a lot more than that. What I would ask you do for me, as a friend, is to ensure that you tell people the price this thing is worth and not the price you paid. A fair commercial price for this is £1,560 (insert appropriate price as you see fit) so could you make sure people are told this?
Respect
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 14:41 |
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@all, i have just spoken to her about it. I wanted us to meet so i could talk to her face to face but she insisted that we do it over the phone as she is busy later. Anyways, i explained to her about the price being litle for the amount of hard work i have to do for 2 whole days, she is still insisting that £70 is fair and that as a starter, i can't really be thinking about money and fixing prices rather what i should be thinking about is the(possible) business connection i might be getting out of the dinner party!
Now that really got me more pissed off because its like she doesn't care or isn't listening to anything i say about the HARD work that i have to put in and the fact that this is my income we are talking about here.
I explained everything from the different and complicated ways i have to do this all by myself and still she is still insisting on about me NOT having a choice, i should just keep thinking about my business. I feel that she is putting me in a corner because i need the exposure and she is trying to get cheap service from me for it
Anyways, i said she should still take time to think about it and she is gone call back me later in the evening and give me a final decision.
Oh and we did agree that no matter the price i charge her, she is not to tell her guests how much she paid me, so Backatya its all good.
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 14:43 |
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| Liberian girl, thanks sis...will report back later on in the evening.
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liberiangirl
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 16:33 |
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| No problem girl, and if she insists on paying you 70 dollars then accept it and make the best out of it, but dont do anymore services for this girl in the future, epecially if she insists on being so cheap about it.
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 16:35 |
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Last edited on Wednesday June 21st, 2006 03:21 by liberiangirl
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Tuesday June 20th, 2006 22:34 |
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since you have already spoken to your friend what i am about to say may be a moot point, but you could always pull out of catering for her then she would have to pay the other person £50 extra. I reckon paying you £100 would start to look very good, esp if she thinks you would do a better job with the food than the other person. All the other person is really offering extra is crockery and cutlery. Don't know about everyone else, but i would rather have good food than crap food on pretty plates!!
So just call her bluff and pull out. If she would begrudge a friend in need of exposure, she is probably too mean to pay the extra £50 just for some plates and cutlery. And if she DID decide to go with the other person you could always make snidey asides to other guests about how the food isn;t great and how you would have done it much better for less money (which would technically be true!)
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ac9311
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Posted: Wednesday June 21st, 2006 03:21 |
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Mezmerized wrote:
Now that really got me more pissed off because its like she doesn't care or isn't listening to anything i say about the HARD work that i have to put in and the fact that this is my income we are talking about here.
Chalk it up as a lesson learned. Never mix business and friendship. Your friend is taking advantage of your kindness. She knows that she is getting a deal. Cooking for 50 people by yourself is alot of work not to mention exhausting. If she were to call a catering company they would base their price by the items to be cooked and by the plate. A couple of days after the party is over I would have a conversation with her and let her know that she was inconsiderate of your time and effort even though you accepted the reduced price. Any true friend would not expect that amount of effort for such a small price unless they were willing to help out in the kitchen.
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Mezmerized
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Posted: Thursday June 22nd, 2006 00:02 |
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Update:I spoke to her again and she still didn't want to pay the £100 so its OFF. I tried to reason with her but she STILL kept going on about the so called business potential that could have come from her party guests and that as a starter i shouldn't really be so high with my prices..
Well i gave up and we called it quit.....i just couldn't take the inconcideration any longer.
Thank you all for your advice and support, much appreciated....
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Soulstarr
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Posted: Thursday June 22nd, 2006 09:04 |
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| what a bloody cheek! Yeah i know i'm late but I'm sorry mez, even £100 is too small. this is 50 people we're talking about. You're not simply flinging some ready made appetisers in the oven, we're talking about cooking from SCRATCH. She was taking advantage of the fact that you are friends and that is not fair at all.
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Thursday June 22nd, 2006 09:12 |
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I think it was more a case of her taking advantage of the fact that Mez was "in need" of exposure. This was the stick she was using to beat Mez with.
Similar situation with my sister: she wants me to redecorate her room (including taking off some thick ass wallpaper and moving heavy furniture!). She thinks because she is paying me and i am (in her view) desperate for the money, i should be hopping to it! I told her she would have to help me out as she was not paying me enough to shift heavy furniture. But she keeps pointing out that she is paying me. So i asked her if she takes crap from her employer just coz they are "paying her"?!!? I may just demand an extra £50!! my sis is too lazy to do it herself and she knows i will do a great job (i redid the living room) plus there is no one else for her to ask. I should be taking advantage of my position lol
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Saida.M
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Posted: Thursday June 22nd, 2006 14:43 |
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I think all the advice given is good. I don't think I can add to it.
@MB
Sorry but I'd do what you're doing for any member of my family for nothing.
But if she is blatently trying to 'exploit' you, why not do half a job and in true cowboy style, say you cannot finish it unless she coughs up some extra cash lol 
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Saturday June 24th, 2006 11:40 |
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| Sorry Athaba, but with the financial position i am in now, i can't afford to do such a huge job out of the goodness of my heart!! Plus interior design is a hobby of mine and i am approaching the job from a proffesional perspective. My semi expertise ain't free! it ain't just a lick of paint either lol
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