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| Moderated by: Saida.M, safetyblitz, Raven, Miss Brighter Days, LadyDay, Kunjufu, Kibibi, Happiness, Dillinger, Breadfruit, Backatya |
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sweet_ebony
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Posted: Wednesday May 3rd, 2006 20:36 |
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| hey guys, just a quick one about anger, i just cannot control my temper, i am hurting my loved ones especially my boyfriend by saying some nasty things, getting frustrated,lack of patience, after it all i feel bad. Has anyone got any tips on how to control anger ? or any stories? perhapsu had a problem but have sorted it out. pls let me know
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Wednesday May 3rd, 2006 20:49 |
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sweet_ebony wrote: hey guys, just a quick one about anger, i just cannot control my temper, i am hurting my loved ones especially my boyfriend by saying some nasty things, getting frustrated,lack of patience, after it all i feel bad. Has anyone got any tips on how to control anger ? or any stories? perhapsu had a problem but have sorted it out. pls let me know
Sweet ebony: If I may, I don't think 'control' is the right way to approach this issue, to talk about control to me suggests that you believe that this trait in your genes and therefore needs to be contained... Not so I believe that any behaviour that is learnt can be unlearnt...
Therefore I have two thoughts:
One it seems to me reading the very sketchy piece that you wrote that the issue may not be a 'temper' or your 'temper' but more the issue is why you direct your temper at 'loved ones'... This would based on what you offered suggest to me that your behaviour is functional ie it is contrived by you as a strategy to respond to certain trigger sitions you feel you cannot either cope with or feel comfortable in... If and its a big if based on what you wrote, this is the case the issue is really about what it might be you find difficult to manage that make you seek such a negative stratgy and then either confronting it through therapy or developing another way of expressing your feelings without being rude or abusive..
My other thoughts could be that you have a lot of pent up emotions and frustrations that is spilling out into the wrong areas of you life, it might be therefore that if you're unhappy doing something or being involved in something.. that you seriously look at strategies to either do something new that you like or making plans to extrecate yourself from the situation that is making you unhappy..
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sweet_ebony
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Posted: Wednesday May 3rd, 2006 20:52 |
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@kunjufu thanks for the comments i will take it as good advice and try some strategies to help me cope with this problem. I dont know why i am short-tempered , its weird really . But i need to change and fast especially because its my birthday 2moz ( i will be 20) i must take control over my life. Thanks  Last edited on Wednesday May 3rd, 2006 20:53 by sweet_ebony
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you can only be young once , but immature forever
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Wednesday May 3rd, 2006 21:01 |
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sweet_ebony wrote: @kunjufu thanks for the comments i will take it as good advice and try some strategies to help me cope with this problem. I dont know why i am short-tempered , its weird really . But i need to change and fast especially because its my birthday 2moz ( i will be 20) i must take control over my life. Thanks
Sweet....Well to be honest, whilst one might expect a certain level of control at twenty, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself...some things are just life lessons that we have to learn as we go along...at 20 I think you have some further emotional development to do yet.... So don't go OTT..we all have our areas of need you are lucky you know yours and you will no doubt work on this area..
btw I was just tossing out a few thoughts..please do not take everyone as gospel unless it makes sense to you...the great thing about life is that we LEARN from our mistakes.. Making mistakes is not a BAD trait....NOT learning from mistakes however is...IMO
Good Luck..
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African heart, African mind
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sweet_ebony
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Posted: Thursday May 4th, 2006 01:14 |
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| @kunjufu thanks
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you can only be young once , but immature forever
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