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Ceejay
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 04:58 |
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Hey Ladies,
I need your advice...I have recently met a man who can potentially be my 'enchanted love'. He has all the qualities and personality traits that I have dreamt of...only issue is that he is 11 years older than me; I'm 28 and he's 39. I'm really feelin' him and he's swooning over me. We have the same long-term relationship goals (marriage, travelling, kids, etc.), but I'm concerned about what my family and friends will feel about our age difference...can anyone offer any advice or have been in the same situation?
Let me know...Thanx! 
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 07:16 |
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| Wow....oh this ought to be interesting..I can't wait to hear how people respond to this......
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ChubbiChix
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 07:17 |
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| Well if your enchanted, do you even if he's older. Your family will get over it, adleast he's not like 40 or 50 not that would have been hard to swallow.
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Vezz.
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 08:14 |
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Hubby is 11 years older than me, but sometimes I feel like the older partner!
It has been said that men mature slower than women , so the fact that he's 11 years older should mean you're on par with each other.....
Oh, and forget the family. If you were 16 and he 27 I'd have issues, but you're a grown-ass woman.
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Soulstarr
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 11:16 |
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I think that the older you gert, the less an age difference matters for the simple fact that you'be both adults. My opinion is the same as Lady Vee's. if you we're 16 and he was older then it would be a different kettle of fish. You both sound like you want the same things out of life and more importantly, wanna be with eachother. So I say go for it. Your family will come round eventually once they see how happy you are. If you think its gonna cause serious problems they you called always date for a while and then once you know that its long term and serious, then you can tell your family you are seeing someone and you would like them to be happy for you.
Good luck!
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Saida.M
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 12:11 |
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I don't get what your problem is.
 I've been in a similar stiuation but no one even so much as raised an eyebrow.
Why should your family object?
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HatHaruhotep
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 13:21 |
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Okay, it's my turn to get into this...
I'm one of those old fashioned men who thinks that the woman SHOULD be younger than the man. It takes us a bit longer to grow up, so 5-10 years younger is not a bad idea. However, there is a big difference between the 20's and 40's. If a woman is 35 and her man is 46, that's one thing. But going from 20's to 40's (and that is what he is, 39 won't last long) is a big leap. I'm not saying it won't work, just that it will be challenging at times (as can any relationship).
I'd love to meet a single lady in her 20's myself!! Of course, I'm barely out of my 20's myself...One with no tattoos, bizarre piercings, baby daddies, gold teef, or crusty feet.
I'm glad you found somebody. Good luck.
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Abissinia
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 16:17 |
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Really it's not an issue, you are 28 and not 18 so you should do whatever feels right to you. If your family and friends intention is to see you happy and he makes you happy then there is no reason as to why they should have a problem with 11 years age gap.
I have dated someone who was 8 years older than me, and yes the age gap did become a problem later on but then i was only 16 and my head, and heart weren't used to talking to each other yet when we meet lol.
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DSP
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 19:35 |
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Let's stop the backwards logic.
The woman should be older, women live an avg of 10 years longer than men and women reach their sexual peak much later in life.
Hotep, stop making excuses for R. Kelly behavior.
Yes I am a trouble maker
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Miss Nellia
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 20:50 |
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@ceejay
I am ten years younger than my boyfriend, evethough people say that it is not really a big issue at first it does feel wierd I am not was used to dating men my own age. After a while when you two get to know each other it will not matter at all.... my folks were abit funny at first but they soon realised that I am the adult in my relationship because this man can be very childish sometimes (bless him  ).
Once he's treating you right, your family will soon get over it because really and truly is not a big big age gap... and the older you become less of an issue it is. It's not like your 10 and he's 20.... your 28 so it's ok.
Alot can be learnt from older men.....
big typo above
Last edited on Tuesday May 30th, 2006 11:19 by Miss Nellia
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Kibibi
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Posted: Thursday March 16th, 2006 21:09 |
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athaba wrote: I don't get what your problem is.
I've been in a similar stiuation but no one even so much as raised an eyebrow.
Why should your family object?
Co-signing. You're 28, a grown woman, why should/would your family be so concerned about the ''age gap''?
If you were my age, then I could totally understand why you would be worried. But you're not, so...
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angel-i-
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Posted: Friday March 17th, 2006 00:51 |
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i dated a 27 year old when i was 16, lets just say it wasent a pleasant experince! i was too young and he was an immature control freak! age aint nothin but a number....over 18! if youre in love and like the guy, go for it..we need more love in the world! peace
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CeeCee
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Posted: Friday March 17th, 2006 16:03 |
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Ceejay,
I don't know about you, but you're 28 and he's 39. If you ask me he still seem that he's still in your league and that, he ( as you have mentioned) the same goals and aspects that you have about life. With this relationship, I think that you're going to be fine. To me, 39 is not terribly old and he may not be a fuddy-duddy like in some older-younger relationships that occured. The only thing about some older/younger people relatioships is that the older person tend to be more back and set in their ways of doing things. I general , you seem fine, but make sure if you're going with an older man( If you dated 48 year old man,my concern would come in bits), make sure he doesn't fit in this realm.
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EF MAX
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Posted: Monday May 29th, 2006 02:18 |
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At the end of the day, what really matters is that the person that you choose to be with, is respectful and cares about you.
There will always be those who disapprove.
At 20, I dated a woman who was twice my age.
At 46, I dated a woman half my age.
Both experiences were a learning curve and because at 46, I still looked 26, I was able to get away with it. In both cases, only my mother made a a passing comment, but in reality, in both cases neither were going to lead a long term relationships, because neither was realistic.
In general, I tend to date women who are younger than myself. This is not just because society makes it easier, but I do have my personal reasons for doing so, and they are MY preferences.
Also do not ignore the body clock verse the biological clock,, on paper I am now 48, but my body clock is much closer to 30,, this is based not just on maturity but also perceived health and fitness and the ability to maintain a more youthful physique..
So again, if you are treated with care, respect and kindness, sometimes you have to let your heart rule your head..
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