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Lyrical Nectar
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 20:50 |
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Ok, I am fairly new here, but I would like any advice you may be able to offer me.
This past weekend a person was killed less than 50 feet from me. I am having a really hard time dealing with this. I knew murders happened everyday and I thought I had a pretty good grasp on that until I actually saw it happen. I didn't even know the person who was murdered, but the way I feel you would think he was my brother. So, any advice I would really appreciate.
Thanks.
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Peacemaker
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 21:10 |
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Unfortunately it's not something you're ever going to forget. Emotionally it will get better for you with time. It's rather similar to mending a broken heart really. Could take months or even years, for you you'll get over it sooner than later methinks.
A friend of mine woke up next her dead boyfriend, he was only 28, and he died in his sleep, some heart problem as I recall. She still isn't coping too well with it all now, I personally don't think she ever will in the forseeable future. Since the event lead her into a deep depression, and now she's on medication.
The fact that you're at least willing to talk about it and are asking for advice indicates that you'll get over it sooner rather than later. I'd probably be more concerned if it didn't bother you the way it has actually. It's not something you should just shrug at and say "nevermind sh*t happens" and then get on with your life. It's an experience that should lead you to reflect about life instead. Alot people never get that chance until it's too late.
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Mafdet
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 21:22 |
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| All I can say is keep talking about it express your feeling and if you want to talk and have no one to talk to phone someone a friend or organsiation or even the samaritans, just don't bottle it up thinking it will get better.
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Omaar
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 23:00 |
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I really respect this thread because it comes from the heart.
I've witness people being shot and a couple of them were killed and to be honest the only way you can forget someting like that.....unfortunately....is to witness so many you become numb to it.
But you've already gotten some good advice, and as Peacemaker said it does get better with time.
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Just be thankful it wasn't you.
The reason we as human beings take traumatic events so hard is because as humans we know the same thing could possibly happen to us.
A tree getting cut down or an animal being ran over doesn't effect most of us much, because we can't relate to them nor how they feel.
But another human being like us going through something like that.....too much!
This may sound a little cold but just be thankful that it wasn't YOU that was killed and keep telling yourself how lucky/blessed you are that it wasn't you.
No matter how tragic the image is in your head, keep telling yourself how lucky you were that it wasn't you, and you'll get through it.
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Tahliba
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 23:10 |
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Lyrical Nectar wrote: Ok, I am fairly new here, but I would like any advice you may be able to offer me.
This past weekend a person was killed less than 50 feet from me. I am having a really hard time dealing with this. I knew murders happened everyday and I thought I had a pretty good grasp on that until I actually saw it happen. I didn't even know the person who was murdered, but the way I feel you would think he was my brother. So, any advice I would really appreciate.
Thanks.
Not dwell on it.
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Kibibi
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 23:13 |
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Tahliba wrote:
Not dwell on it.
 and how easy is that? 
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Tahliba
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Posted: Monday September 12th, 2005 23:21 |
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As easy or hard as you WANT it to be.
I've been there more than once, trust me, don't dwell on it. It happened. Like you said it wasn't anyone you know, not a relative or loved one. Put it into context and get over it.
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facetygal
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Posted: Tuesday September 13th, 2005 06:18 |
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| If a life has been taken right before ur eyes u will dwell on it whether u mean to or not, regardless of whether u know the person. Actually if u know the person it will be ten times worse. Even people in the army who are trained to kill will feel some type of emotion, even if they don't show it. So how u reckon a normal person can just see a next person get murdered and switch off just like that I don't know.
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Lyrical Nectar
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Posted: Tuesday September 13th, 2005 15:31 |
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Thanks for all the feedback so far. I really appreciate all the advice and even some of the experiences that you shared. It is easier said than done to not dwell on this. I haven't been exposed to things like that, not that close anyway. I don't really hang out late at night or anything, but my family was invited to this picnic by friends and we went. There were lots of children around there too. I think that may also be bothering me. What if one of the babies were hit. Yes I know I shouldn't think about What Ifs, but how can I not? It could have just as easily been a child, my child, that was hit. Yes, thank God it wasn't, that is true. However, just because it wasn't me or mine doesn't take the pain away.
I'm tired of see young black men take each other out. It's senseless. Maybe if I understood what was going on in their minds it would make a little more sense to me...no, it wouldn't. It's senseless they way they are killing one another...
Anyway, I could go on and on about that, but I won't. Thanks again ya'll.
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