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facetygal
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Posted: Thursday August 25th, 2005 23:28 |
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candygirl wrote: i am for real, i never provoked this guy in to hitting me, and let's be honest no one has the right to hit anthour person, and that's me saying this.it's like this at the end of the day unless you have experienced my kind of situation then you can only speculate. TOO LATE TO PLAY THE "DON'T JUDGE ME UNTIL YOU'VE WALKED IN MY SHOES" CARD
I am not a joke, i am confused yes it's true, i did expect harseness and maybe that is partly what i need. NO UR NOT CONFUSED U KNOW EXACTLY WHAT U WANT AND UR LOOKING FOR WAYS TO JUSTIFY IT
However i think i should go somewhere else for advice, i thankyou for the truth i admire honesty, but it's too much really. IF U CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT U SHOULDN'T HAVE STEPPED INTO THE KITCHEN
I never came on this site to play, or anything - i just hope that none of you ever experience what i am going through, and if you do then and only then will you truley know how that feel's. SOMEONE PLEASE PASS ME A TISSUE I'M WELLING UP OVER HERE
And yes i do actually feel that this is crazy for me to love him after what he has done. However the kinda soft girl that i am made me feel sorry for him when i saw how sick he felt for doing that, even though he had hurt me and the kid's oviously by what they saw. SICK FOR HITTING YOU OR SICK BECAUSE HE HAD TO SPEND TIME BEHIND BARS?
I may be wrong and stupid and dim, but i am not a bad person actually, and i'm sure if you personally knew me then you would understand me a little better. Thanx all the same and take care--bye AU REVOIR, ADIOS, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, ARRIVEDERCI, ADEEO, GOODBYE AND DON'T COME BACK
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jolyqr
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Posted: Friday August 26th, 2005 00:26 |
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@candygirl
Ah ah i'm french, and i'm here, so i don't see the relation... what about you, you could speak french eh eh eh you'll see if that's easy to speak another language. Vas-y balance des mots en français, que je me marre un peu...
I ever heard this kind of story. This is everytime the same thing. The man beat up the girl, the girl doesn't want to leave this man because she loves him. The fact is, if he bet you up one time he could do it again if noone helps him.
You have to remember that some girls didn't have your « luck », because they are dead...
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millyminx
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Posted: Friday August 26th, 2005 10:04 |
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Candygirl i can understand where you re coming from and i too have been in this situation. I also went back and it did happen again after some time. Im not going to say leave him because you obviously are not ready to do this.
However i would advise you to take things slow, your children are you priority and if your daughter is not ready to see him i think you should respect this. Maybe you should tell him that you love him and want to stick by him, but he cant come to live with you right away and you should start your relationship from fresh. Like start dating again, going for meals, pictures, comedy clubs ect.
Your child will look at you to set an example here cause if she grows up and finds herself in the same situation she is going to deal with it how she saw you deal with things. (keep giving chances)
Make sure you let your little girl understand that what has happend is NOT RIGHT and you will not have anyone do that to you.
I wil say that if this has happend b4 (as you mentioned last chance) you do. need to walk away. You sound like a beautiful women and you deserve better. Love always feels like you never felt like this b4. Until you find someone new and you will think you never loved like it b4. Thats the way love goes. Im sure he loves you, but that is not the action of love. Let him work on his problems then come back to you.
I wish you all the best girl and remember men will come and go your children will be with you for the rest of your life. xx
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candygirl
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Posted: Friday August 26th, 2005 22:37 |
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@facetygal(think thats correct spelling) I do not respect your kind of advice actually, although there is some truth, it actually seems to me that you get a kick out of being nasty, you went to all that trouble with that last post, WHAT for do you think that will make me see sense, no- and you are treating me like im the one that beats up on woman- i suggest that you go away and dont come back, go and set up your own little hate section o.k and please do not reply to me, you actually go too far, thats not the way to treat anthour perosn that is going through pain,. As for my very last post THANKYOU for being much more understanding, and like i say you can understand because you have been there, and that is my point- facetygal have you ever been hooked on drug's , have you ever been a drinker, are you a person that is easily addicted to thing's , or have you a disease, do you suffer from panic attacks, or what OR what--- if you dont know if you have never been there, if you have never experinced that then DONT bother putting your comment in such a judgemental way, like you seem to know--- like i said i am not a bad person , i too have a beating heart, and my blood runs the same colour as you--- i feel and i care for people in this world and i cry like the next person---- i dont think for a second that you have been SO dam perfect in your life, and i bet you have made some wrong choices--- GOD SAID NEVER judge, so how dare you judge me.. I came here for peole to listen , not to be judged or b**ched at, go waste your b**ching on someone else, after all i never asked you to comment. I love my kids and i will not have no one , in my life EVER say different, yes i'm foolish but i love them and will forever.
I havn't got time to waste listening to someone who seems to love to hate
@facetygal.
Last edited on Friday August 26th, 2005 22:57 by candygirl
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candygirl
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Posted: Friday August 26th, 2005 22:50 |
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| LOVE THY NIEGHBOUR Last edited on Friday August 26th, 2005 22:51 by candygirl
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jolyqr
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Posted: Friday August 26th, 2005 23:01 |
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@candygirl
don't pay attention about this kind of comment. this person sent it only to piss you off.
your situation is difficult, but you have only to think about your children. i don't know if you are aware of that many children who were always be beaten by their parents, as adult do the same thing to their own children...
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facetygal
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Posted: Saturday August 27th, 2005 04:27 |
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@ Candygirl
I dun told u already I'm not here to make u feel good. If u don't like what people have to say u shouldn't have started this thread in the first place. EVERYONE on here is judging u or didn't u realise, but u only notice me because I'm not stroking ur rass clart ego. You got bulls to stand up to me and I ain't done no physical damage to u, yet u ain't got bulls to dash a man out and put ur kids first - what sort of twisted mentality do u have? If u read my posts carefully you would have seen that I made reference to my mother going through domestic violence and I have been a witness to fights she used to have with my dad, so u can't tell me sh*t. Sit there wallow in ur self pity, let a man f**k up ur head, and have ur kids taken away it's no skin off my nose cos I will sleep like a baby same way. f**king idiot, about u came here for people to listen and did u really not expect us to say nothing? Ok let me humour u then: yes candygirl go back to the man that used u for his punching bag, he is going through counselling so yes there is a good chance he won't ever raise his hand to u again. Oh don't worry about ur daughter she won't have any mental scars from seeing u all bloodied and bruised, yes it's quite the norm for kids to see things like that. That's obviously what u wanna hear, so there u go. Feel better now? KMT
@ Jolyqr
Your an idiot as well, how are u telling her to ignore what I have posted when I basically said the same as u? The only difference is u used less words.
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candygirl
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Posted: Saturday August 27th, 2005 08:07 |
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So @facetygal. If you have been through this via your mum being beaten then would you have liked someone to have been like this if your mum posted a desparate message in a forum- i don't think so. I can see your bitteness though because oviously somewhere this has affected you, and you don't want my daughter to feel like you Right- i do get that- however to tell me to go away and not come back is not the answer- my thoughts anhd feeling's are gradually moving since he hs been inside, i'm thinking more how can i ever forgive him, so i think eventually i will come to the right descion.
Candy
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facetygal
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Posted: Saturday August 27th, 2005 10:17 |
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| My mum would never ever come on a forum tell everyone she'd been beaten up and then make justifications for why she is considering taking the man back. If she did I would say the same thing in exactly the same way. I told u to go away because u were chatting sh*t and I think ur still chatting sh*t. Your mind should have been made up about this man the day he hit u, not how many months later, and not after people are having a go at u. It's ur life and make whatever decision u will, but just remember it's not just u that will suffer the consequences if things go wrong.
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jolyqr
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Posted: Saturday August 27th, 2005 13:51 |
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@ facetygal
Your an idiot as well,
he eh eh so we are both... 
how are u telling her to ignore what I have posted when I basically said the same as u?
calm douwn man. i saw your first comment, but i was not talking about this comment, but about your last comment my dear 
The only difference is u used less words.
that's true, but i do my best... 
peace.
Last edited on Saturday August 27th, 2005 13:57 by jolyqr
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candygirl
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 05:35 |
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Hello All
Just to say that i made my decsion, and god only know's why i even thought about it in the first place... But i never want to see this b**tard ever again in my life, i heard that he maye be deported back to Paris anyway which i never knew that they could do, by the way this was after i decided i wanted out.
I have had a while know to really think and this guy is so not worth risking losing my family or friend's over, im going to seriously hate him, how will i ever get over what he actaully did to me, i don't even know how i put up with what i did over the last year and half, if i was to say what i really went through you guy's would be in shock... i know he went to prison but i don't even think that 2 and half month's is enough punishment for what he did to me and my kid's..
I'm very low , and very depressed and don't know how i will ever be myself again.I will say that i'm glad that my senses came through, and i never want to see him again, which is what i wrote in a letter to him, i also told him i'm not visting him anymore... i just hope that the deportation actually take's place, because i don't want to see him in the gym that i will be returing to when i'm myself again, or when i'm walking in the town,, i don't want to see him full stop...
How am i ever going to get over all of this, for him he properley thing's doing his time justify's what he did, but it never ever will.
candy
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NilePrincess
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 07:07 |
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CandyGirl, I have you & your children in my prayers. Sorry I saw this thread kinda late. Now it's time for you to heal & move on with your life. Don't harbor hate in your heart. It's not worth it....easier said than done  maybe....but when we hold on to the pass those that hurt & cause us most the pain win. Let it go.
I'm just a faceless stranger over the net but if you ever need to vent,laugh,joke even cry.I'm here. Hang in there !
Ana  & this to shall pass...
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Restrain your desires,control your speech,
Then your position will be among the wise.
<Percepts of Ptah-Hotep>
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millyminx
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 08:45 |
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 Well done you will be in my thoughts. I would like to say as well that when you harbor hate, love docs else where. so let him go and let your true self start to shine through.
Life has a way of turning round and bringing good things to us when we are ready to accept them, if you do see him one day. Walk on by and you will feel much better for it. Be strong and god bless
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jolyqr
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 08:53 |
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candygirl wrote: Hello All
Just to say that i made my decsion, and god only know's why i even thought about it in the first place... But i never want to see this b**tard ever again in my life, i heard that he maye be deported back to Paris anyway which i never knew that they could do, by the way this was after i decided i wanted out.
I have had a while know to really think and this guy is so not worth risking losing my family or friend's over, im going to seriously hate him, how will i ever get over what he actaully did to me, i don't even know how i put up with what i did over the last year and half, if i was to say what i really went through you guy's would be in shock... i know he went to prison but i don't even think that 2 and half month's is enough punishment for what he did to me and my kid's..
I'm very low , and very depressed and don't know how i will ever be myself again.I will say that i'm glad that my senses came through, and i never want to see him again, which is what i wrote in a letter to him, i also told him i'm not visting him anymore... i just hope that the deportation actually take's place, because i don't want to see him in the gym that i will be returing to when i'm myself again, or when i'm walking in the town,, i don't want to see him full stop...
How am i ever going to get over all of this, for him he properley thing's doing his time justify's what he did, but it never ever will.
candy
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myrtle
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 09:43 |
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glad to hear you are getting to grips with this candygirl. Once you start to admit to yourself and others the real truth - that it wasn't just one or even two incidents, but a longer history, it gets easier to get out of it for good.
Word of advice if you can take any more, go to a different gym, and keep yourself very very busy.
Are you working, or at college perhaps. Fill up your days while the children are at school, and have fun with them in the evenings. If you need to change your phone number, I think if you have domestic violence BT will change your number for free.
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eye of horus
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Posted: Monday September 5th, 2005 16:40 |
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 you made the right decision
love is never enough if the respect and trust has gone..ive been through that crap with men.. and the way i moved on is by thinking how much worse things could have tuned out and count your blessings that u still have your family, health and freedom and friends ... think about what u have and what u could have lost.. good luck!
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myrtle
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 06:31 |
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Oh Candy I mis-read your post.
Because you are so depressed if you can join a new gym and go regularly now that will start to help you feel better.
Be wary of telling new people too quickly everything that has happened to you. Keep it vague, no detail about the violence etc, to start with
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candygirl
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 07:20 |
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I have no intention to tell anyone about my past atall, no way. Oviously chatting on here isn't a problem because it's not in the real world, so to speak- but people in every day life and new man(not that i don't want a MAN) i an't saying sh*t, it's kept in my soul unfortuntley for the rest of my living day's.
I want to go back to the gym, it mean's so much but it hurt's to go there as it's a gym that we both used to go together- i have done so well ya know i'd lost 6 stone since January 2005 but lost more wieght prior to this going from a size 24 to a size 14, mega pleased with myself as you can imagine, but i still have a furthur 2 stone to lose to get to a nice wieght.
Trouble is if he get's out on tag, in a week or so he will be useing that gym , he will stroll in as if nothink has happened that's him for you, and oviously that's gonna be hard.Your next suggestion would be to change gym's right, but i spent a great deal of money to join at this gym so i can't afford to start again elsewhere, i just an't sure what direction to go, i'm in a right 2 and 8 man.
I'm so angry with him, i'm so hurt beyond belive- he will always properley blame me for him being in prison, but he only has hisself to blame and if he can't see that then he oviously is more dangerous than i know, Bullsh*t i know how dangerous he is.
If i had never of met him then i wouldnt of lost my hair folks he dragged me across the concrete and matted it up so much i had to have it all cut of, going from my long hair to short- and i hate my hair short that's not candy, my hair was crazy-- i was known for my hair ya know----when that went i went with it i swear, i'm so going to lose it ya know i just don't know what to do, i know i have to try my best because of my babies but i am finding it all to much... im so hurting...and why's that just because i wanted to be loved... yeah right...
CANDY
Last edited on Tuesday September 6th, 2005 07:27 by candygirl
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facetygal
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 07:58 |
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| KMT you still goin on about this prick? The more you tell people about what he's done to u the more ur comin across as an idiot for wanting to take him back in the first place. You got everyone on here praising you for making the "right decision" but I know ur still full of bull. Your priorities are still wrong because now ur banging on about what he did to ur hair, hair grows for f**k sake at least ur not bald. If u were that worried about seeing him when he came out u would find urself another gym - u could give ur membership to someone else or see if u can be transferred to another branch. Convicts aren't supposed to be placed in the same area as their victims but if u are u can get a restraining order so he doesn't come no where near u or ur children. Don't pm me again until u start using ur brain and stop coming out with garbage.
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candygirl
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:17 |
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| @facetygal--oh look mate im low and i dont really see a problem in me expressing myself on here, i mean that's what it is all about, i ant going back with the guy and thats all that matters, dont expect us all to be so hard f**king faced as you alright.
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facetygal
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:24 |
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Yeah so u say. And instead of telling everyone how low and depressed u are every minute why don't u do something about it? It's time u stopped playing the victim because there are people out there in a worse off situation than u.
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myrtle
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:30 |
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Candy facetygal gace you some good advice there.
Go to the gym, ask them if they will refund you even part of your money, ask them if they will help you to transfer your membership to someone else.
You could lie if you want, say you are moving areas and need to change gym.
Or you could hang around and ask someone if they will buy your membership. at a reduced price
You can't go back to that gym, ( that seems unfair, but it just a fact if he is going to go back there) and you want/need to go to a gym.
Get an injunction against this guy - you can try to get it stated that he is not allowed to go there, that could mess up his membership;
You need to keep exercising it will help with your depression. Are you working or anything?
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myrtle
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:32 |
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double postings aaarrrggh
Last edited on Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:51 by myrtle
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myrtle
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:32 |
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Last edited on Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:54 by myrtle
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candygirl
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Posted: Tuesday September 6th, 2005 08:33 |
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| What's wrong with you man, its not been easy all of this-- what im surposed to just wake up and say Yippeee, im cured, im fine ---lets all go out and drink f**king coffee.. I an't saying i won't get better but it take's time, and personally i see no problem in airing how i feel, if i didn't i would be extremley desparate and go know's i already feel like that already--- i an't no f**king victimn not no more, no i'm dam well mot... but to think that you get over it in a friggin day, i don't think so. You should go and apply for a job at the women's refuge you would so not get the job.. f**k me. Thats not how they go on in there... you wrong |
