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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 10:59 |
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ive been with my current partner for six months now. this is my longest relationship iv bin in as in the past ive always felt i couldnt be with one person for too long but i feel this man i can.
i like to feel i can trust him and tell him i do but his past disheartens me.
when he got with me he was just coming out of a two year relationship and the last straw was the woman cheated on me. i know he was playin about with her as he got his babymum pregnant while he was with her but he says that was the early days of the relationship when he was playin around. we do really click and i will speak to him for two an half hours on the fone. i see him every day and stay with him most nights. he tells me im the one but he cant put his whole into me as im younger than him and i might feel i dont want a big relationship. he has girls ring his fone up at midnight but they will have general conversation and he sits right next to me wile hes on the fone to him.
i dont no wether i can trust him because of his past. ive already let him no if he cheated there would be no second chances. another thing is all his friends f*** about.
does a leopard change its spots????
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:01 |
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| i ment the woman cheated on him sorry
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:12 |
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Sparkle: the bottom line is that people can and do change if motivated to do so... However the issue here is motivation... I'm worried if thats the right word that you are younger than this man, I'm also concerned that you're investing too much into a first relationship.
In my view you've clearly got a lot to learn and you should enjoy learning it, instead of over complicating things by becoming too wrapped up with this man who, lets be honest has had his chance made his mistakes and hopefully moved on.. Where is your opportunity to do the same?
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:39 |
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even if things dont work out ill see this as a learning experience..
but i do want to be with him he means a lot to me..hes a very intellectual man and has a lot of wordly views unlike any other person ive met hes purely on my levels but his past is quite bad although most mens are. hes 25 now most his mates are about 21 i hope hes matured now and is ready to stop messing around. but i dont no if im being insecure but i dont like other girls ringin his fone as i dont believe in male female friendships i always think theres someone who like the other person. i have told this man i love him once on my birthday when i was drunk he rote me the nicest card and when i asked him if he loved me he replied when im ready...what does this mean?
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Saida.M
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:44 |
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when im ready...what does this mean?
And when you asked him, he said - what?
Last edited on Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:47 by Saida.M
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:49 |
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me: thanks for my card i love u ya no do ya love me???
him: (smiling) when im ready
me: what so do ya love me
him: when im ready
like i said he feels im the one for him but he cant put his whole into me as he thinks i will get a bit older and feel i dont want all of this
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Kibibi
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:55 |
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x_sparkle_x wrote: me: thanks for my card i love u ya no do ya love me???
him: (smiling) when im ready
me: what so do ya love me
him: when im ready
What's wrong with what he said? At least he didnt lie and say yes.
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 11:58 |
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Sparckle: you don't say how old YOU are, however 'when i'm ready' means you need to have an exit strategy ready for when this guy bails on you.. Sorry but he is NOT in love with you and he is NOT into you..
If he was 'when i'm ready' wouldn't be the response trust me on that..further you should STOP pressuring the guy to declare his feelings.. From a mans point of view it is friggin annoying, if you feel something say it, but don't say and then expect a reciprical response that is both stupid and unreasonable..
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 12:06 |
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| im not making no excuses for him but this man is so deep hes ultra emotional and yeh i respect that he told me the truth instead of lyin and sayin yeh i love you when he dont
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Kunjufu
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 12:09 |
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| Sparkle: there is nothing wrong in what you're doing so long as you UNDERSTAND what it is you're into...if he's being straight with you.. Please be straight with yourself and don't get caught up with the 'but he loves me syndrome' so often witnessed on talk shows..you know it makes sense!!
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 12:16 |
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i wouldnt say im having that syndrome i dont even no if i love him yet but i dont no what first love feels like so im not sure. i no i love being with him and he makes me so happy. he is a bit of a moaner but everyone has there nuts n bolts.
hes a deep feeler and thinker.
its the girls callin him that bugs me he doesnt try n hide it he sits rite nx to me and talks and i can hear everything the girl says and when he comes of the fone hell be like dont worry the girls safe
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 12:52 |
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but i dont no what first love feels like so im not sure.
It hurts.... (after the emotional high there is a low)
i no i love being with him and he makes me so happy. he is a bit of a moaner but everyone has there nuts n bolts.
 I'm not even gonna ask....
hes a deep feeler and thinker.
That doesn't mean he won't eventually get tired of you and simply go on to the next "thrill"
its the girls callin him that bugs me he doesnt try n hide it he sits rite nx to me and talks and i can hear everything the girl says and when he comes of the fone hell be like dont worry the girls safe
Seems like he's playing games. How much older is he than you?
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 13:49 |
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7 years
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 13:55 |
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x_sparkle_x wrote: 7 years
Okay so he is 25 years old and you are 17 or 18?
Take it REALLY slow because he's had a lot more experience than you and will play on your naiveness if you allow him to. Just be very careful as these kinds of situations can do the most damage because I'm sure you kinda look up to him and it is always hurtful when someone you look up to (because he is older and more experienced) lets you down.
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 14:02 |
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| i totally agree wid u the fact im younger does mean i can be more naive so i have to try my best. his last relationship was with a 38 year old and he played her around as i said he got his babymum pregnant, but she was the sort of woman who took it if i ever had proof of him cheating i would end it simple as.
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 14:08 |
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x_sparkle_x wrote: i totally agree wid u the fact im younger does mean i can be more naive so i have to try my best.
yep. pay attention.
his last relationship was with a 38 year old and he played her around as i said he got his babymum pregnant
yeah.....pay attention
but she was the sort of woman who took it if i ever had proof of him cheating i would end it simple as.
you also shouldn't be with a person you don't trust....
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BlackMatta
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 14:35 |
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Last edited on Friday March 3rd, 2006 17:30 by
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Saida.M
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 15:46 |
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Girl if you are around 17, you're far too young to start yapping about the love of your life.
Ditch this guy and go and find out what else is out there!
There are plenty of couples who last the distance from your age and younger, BUT they usually have something going for them in the first place.
Your case sounds like a disaster wating to happen.
(Sigh) - As usual, only you can decide what it is you want.
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People readily believe lies before they believe the truth
"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
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baby_gurl
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 15:52 |
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| You can't say that someone is too young to love because you are never to young or to old to love okay. Otherwise none of us would be able to love our mothers when we are babies would we?
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Saida.M
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 16:19 |
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baby_gurl wrote: You can't say that someone is too young to love because you are never to young or to old to love okay. Otherwise none of us would be able to love our mothers when we are babies would we?
But that is not the type of love we are talking about is it?
Besides once you read my post again you will see that I also said there are many successful couples who have survived from starting at a young age, but they tend to have a lot going for them in the first place.
Also I said, ultimately the decision of what to do, would be up to her.
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People readily believe lies before they believe the truth
"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
Good News Bible. Rev. Ch.13 V.3
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shopaholik
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Posted: Wednesday June 29th, 2005 16:42 |
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| all i can say is be careful. it may or may not work out as your still young and you may find in a few years time you'll laughing at the situation wondering how you ever thought you were in love with this person! trust me ive been there! just dont give to much of yourself to him i.e. sex, phone calls. let him show YOU that he cares as well. its all well and good you staying at house but that doesnt mean anything y'know guys can have different gals staying at their yard all the time. you said he also says he can't put his 'whole into you' and using your age as an excuse, that's his way of saying he doesn't want what you want. he's probably enjoying the sex and knows he can get it when he wants it. stop giving it to him! find excuses not to link him! go out with your friends and enjoy your raving there are plenty of guys your age out there with no responsibilities i.e. kids that im sure you can chat to. this guy will just waste your time. try and think about yourself be a lil bit selfish, dont neglect your friends cos if and when he's gone they will be there for you not him.
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Thursday June 30th, 2005 09:22 |
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| its not just about sex for us tho i stay der basically every night and we dont always have sex sometimes we just talk for hours instead.............but were moving off the original topic........can a man change??
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June_bug510
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Posted: Thursday June 30th, 2005 22:02 |
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Hey girl,
now look, you said it for yourself that he has a lot of females runnin up his phone at night. First off, its way too late for those females to be callin his phone, and second, he needs to let it be known when he picks up his phone that he is at his 'lady's' house and he cant talk on the phone. Gurl, i know exactly what you are going through because i once was there, but you need to ask yourself a personal question if you are sexually involved with this guy, ask yourself " why is he telling me im not ready for a serious relationship because of my age, but im not to young for a sexual relationship?'' girl put your foot down and let him know what you want and if he doesnt accept your request, then he is noo good for you anyway.Second, you are always going to have a persons past in your mind, thats perfectly normal, but when you start using his past as the answer to the future, thats where the problems come in.
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June_bug510
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Posted: Thursday June 30th, 2005 22:02 |
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Hey girl,
now look, you said it for yourself that he has a lot of females runnin up his phone at night. First off, its way too late for those females to be callin his phone, and second, he needs to let it be known when he picks up his phone that he is at his 'lady's' house and he cant talk on the phone. Gurl, i know exactly what you are going through because i once was there, but you need to ask yourself a personal question if you are sexually involved with this guy, ask yourself " why is he telling me im not ready for a serious relationship because of my age, but im not to young for a sexual relationship?'' girl put your foot down and let him know what you want and if he doesnt accept your request, then he is noo good for you anyway.Second, you are always going to have a persons past in your mind, thats perfectly normal, but when you start using his past as the answer to the future, thats where the problems come in.
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Posted: Thursday June 30th, 2005 22:49 |
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June_bug510 wrote:
you need to ask yourself a personal question if you are sexually involved with this guy, ask yourself " why is he telling me im not ready for a serious relationship because of my age, but im not to young for a sexual relationship?'' girl put your foot down and let him know what you want and if he doesnt accept your request, then he is noo good for you anyway.Second, you are always going to have a persons past in your mind, thats perfectly normal, but when you start using his past as the answer to the future, thats where the problems come in.
Excellent point. 
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x_sparkle_x
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Posted: Friday July 1st, 2005 09:10 |
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| i do think this is a serious relationship to him......i made stupid comment to him about i dont want to have his children dont no why i said it i didnt mean it it just come out my mouth he went mad then wouldnt speak to me but im not ready to have children for years yet chances are i wont be with him but thats not how he sees it
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Kibibi
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Posted: Friday July 1st, 2005 10:08 |
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baby_gurl wrote: You can't say that someone is too young to love because you are never to young or to old to love okay. Otherwise none of us would be able to love our mothers when we are babies would we?
LMAO! And u wonder y some ppl say someone is 2 young...how can u compare the love for ur mother with that of a boyfriend?? 
Sparkle, at 18 why are you stressing over your relationship already? If you have to stress in the early stages is it really worth it?
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