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Maat
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Posted: Tuesday February 20th, 2007 22:01 |
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Greetings Everyone ,
Long time I know but I hope you all are well and trust that you're in true BN form as always.
I'm asking this question because I'm beginning to have second thoughts about what I'm doing and whether or not it's really what I want. It may sound strange but I thought I'd finally found what I wanted to do but now....I'm not too sure .
There's so many things I'm interested in doing and my business is only one area of interest.
My questions to you:
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do?
2) If so how did you get there?
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted?
Please go ahead and let me know your thoughts on this one.
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MyThoughts
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Posted: Tuesday February 20th, 2007 22:22 |
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No matter what you do, you will always have doubts especially at a time when things are not going according to plan or there is not so much light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, or what you want to achieve seems so far away.
I always try find time for all my interests as well. Granted sometimes it is not possible time money etc, but it's not always about studying the conventional way to learn certain aspects of whatever that interest maybe. And because you are drawn to it anyway it doesn't feel like a chore when learning more or perfecting your skills in it. There is no pressure at that time of making money, meeting deadlines or passing exams etc, but future wise you never know when those skills will come in handy.
Plus if you can make a lil extra change from other interest it's an added bonus. Dip into as many areas as you can is what I say.
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Maat
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Posted: Tuesday February 20th, 2007 22:44 |
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MyThoughts wrote: No matter what you do, you will always have doubts especially at a time when things are not going according to plan or there is not so much light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, or what you want to achieve seems so far away.
I always try find time for all my interests as well. Granted sometimes it is not possible time money etc, but it's not always about studying the conventional way to learn certain aspects of whatever that interest maybe. And because you are drawn to it anyway it doesn't feel like a chore when learning more or perfecting your skills in it. There is no pressure at that time of making money, meeting deadlines or passing exams etc, but future wise you never know when those skills will come in handy.
Plus if you can make a lil extra change from other interest it's an added bonus. Dip into as many areas as you can is what I say.
So true! It just seems like I've been working towards this for so long and now that it's here....I dunno. For some reason I can't "get into it" the way I expected....
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Soulstarr
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Posted: Tuesday February 20th, 2007 22:52 |
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Maaaaat! Long time sis, hope you are well.
I don't think i'm really qualified to answer the questions posted but i'm know for sure i'm on my way to doing what I want.
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MyThoughts
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Posted: Tuesday February 20th, 2007 22:58 |
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Maat wrote: MyThoughts wrote: No matter what you do, you will always have doubts especially at a time when things are not going according to plan or there is not so much light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, or what you want to achieve seems so far away.
I always try find time for all my interests as well. Granted sometimes it is not possible time money etc, but it's not always about studying the conventional way to learn certain aspects of whatever that interest maybe. And because you are drawn to it anyway it doesn't feel like a chore when learning more or perfecting your skills in it. There is no pressure at that time of making money, meeting deadlines or passing exams etc, but future wise you never know when those skills will come in handy.
Plus if you can make a lil extra change from other interest it's an added bonus. Dip into as many areas as you can is what I say.
So true! It just seems like I've been working towards this for so long and now that it's here....I dunno. For some reason I can't "get into it" the way I expected....
Like when a man is after a woman for ages....the chase is always more exciting lol
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Maat
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Posted: Tuesday February 20th, 2007 23:19 |
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@Soulstarr: Hey Sis good to see you 
MyThoughts wrote: Like when a man is after a woman for ages....the chase is always more exciting lol
LOL Ya big head! You even had me clicking to close your avatar thinking it was an ad 
Last edited on Tuesday February 20th, 2007 23:19 by Maat
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Incognito
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 07:49 |
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Maat - happy new year and seasons greetings. There's an old saying that goes 'want it want it can't get it, get it get it don't want it'. I do have personal repetitive habits but as far as ambition and achievement goes my goalposts are moving targets.
I'm one of those people who get bored very quickly, once I do something I'm more one to say been there done it as opposed to dwell on it and you soon realise how finite the world can be to the degree you actually get more satisfaction in helping others reach their goals.
When I hear all these celebrities like Robbie Williams going iinto rehab and everybody saying how he has everything in life already and there's nothing left for him to buy, then you know these people are selfish. I couldn't have that amount of money sitting depressed in rehab while people in Africa are starving....but then maybe these people have reached the point where they are stiff bored of donating to charity as well Last edited on Wednesday February 21st, 2007 08:33 by Incognito
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Dada
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 09:48 |
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Hello Maat,
I achieved almost all I wanted by the time I was 30.
It felt like the rest of my life was going to be one big holiday, indeed I was bored of the prospect of living aimlessly. So I invented more goals and these have also come to fruition.
I keep my goals modest just out of reach in the medium term (4-5 years)
Currently I am achieving another goal in the City that is challenging with rewarding prospects but more importantly keeps the mind stimulated.
Lord Byron once said:
" I must find a system or I will be living under someone elses"
My main motivator is the saying:
"Find something you love doing for a living, and you will never have to work again".
Finally, I like to remember the times at school, the best time: The Summer Holidays, I try to make sure that I enjoy my work and life just like I did during the summer holidays of school if I am not I am doing something wrong.
Last edited on Wednesday February 21st, 2007 09:51 by Dada
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 16:18 |
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Maat wrote:
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do?
funnily enough i am doing what i always said i NEVER EVER wanted to do lol Which is teaching (although i am actually a teaching assistant. all the fun of the job and none of the stress lol)
2) how did you get there?
while doing another job i hated, i had alot of free time as it was in the evenings. so i did some voluntary work with children during the day. wasn't really thinking it would lead to teaching. was more thinking about the social work side. But most of my voluntary work was within schools, so that swayed me to teaching. Always liked kids, just never liked the idea of teaching. But after a while i applied for a PGCE, did the course, passed the course and voila!! (almost!)
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?
most definatly. the first time i went to uni was because i wanted to go into journalism as i used to really enjoy writing. my aim was to make a name for myself in magazine writing to make publishing a novel easier (ahhh, such childhood dreams lol). In the end (unfortunatly AFTER my degree!) i decided that that whole world was just too cut throat and nasty. So i went through a loooooooooooooooooooooong period of not knowing what i wanted to do at all. (about 3-4 years) It was during this period i had the crappy dead end job and started voluntaring.
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted?
i guess it was decided for me when i started to enjoy wrking with kids in the context of a school. It was during my PGCE though that i felt that teaching itself was just far too stressful. Had a short period of unemployment after my pgce, then got job number one working with children in an educational context, though not in school. and i am continuing to enjoy that job, but now i also have a job as a teaching assisstant and i am also enjoying that. I never thought i could be happy doing the kind of work i had always said i never wanted to do lol
my advice? when thinking about what you want to do, don't cut off any career paths. I know its preferable to focus on what you enjoy or are qualified for, but try to widen your scope anyway. You never know!
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The Watcher
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 16:39 |
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MB I think your situation is more normal. People grow and change and what I always wanted to do might not suit the desires/needs of who I am now as a person. I mean how long ago is "always"? At various stages of youth I wanted to be astronaut, fireman, policeman, doctor, boxer... during adolescence other things before realising as an adult what I'm good at, what I enjoy and what I REALLY want from life. Things I might not have known before.
I know very few people who've had ONE sole dream since they were young that overwhelmed everything and fewer still who made it happen.
What I mean isn't settling for what you can get as a secondary option but action a more evolved process. How could 5 year old Watcher possibly know about what 40 year old watcher may be like or what shaped him? You learn and dreams change. As long as the dream is still something that stretching your possibilities I think that's cool.
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Madam Butterfly
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 16:58 |
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very true DM. i don't know of anyone who is doing what they had wanted to do since childhood. I wanted to be writier from the age of 7 right up to about 22, so a long time. Now i never even pick up a pen.
I think its the periods you go through of either not knowing what you want, or working at something you hate that are the worst because you can't help but feel like everyone else is doing a million times better than you and feeling like you are worthless for not having your life together.
But as you say, its all part of a normal process. Its not just about finding out what you want to do but finding out who you are (and in some cases, who you are not lol)
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The Watcher
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 17:15 |
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Madam Butterfly wrote: (and in some cases, who you are not lol)
damn right!! lol
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Saida.M
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Posted: Wednesday February 21st, 2007 19:54 |
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Maat wrote: Greetings Everyone,
Long time I know but I hope you all are well and trust that you're in true BN form as always.
Welcome back Maat  - saying this often - hope you stay a lot longer
I'm asking this question because I'm beginning to have second thoughts about what I'm doing and whether or not it's really what I want. It may sound strange but I thought I'd finally found what I wanted to do but now....I'm not too sure.
There's so many things I'm interested in doing and my business is only one area of interest.
My questions to you:
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do?
Not yet.
2) If so how did you get there?
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted?
Haven't.
Please go ahead and let me know your thoughts on this one.
Hmm... there'd always be more questions then answers no matter what 'stage' you're at.
Best advice is always to find something that you like and do that.
Even if you only like it for a moment, keep moving to keep doing what you want.
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"One of the heads of the beast seemed to have been fatally wounded, but the wound had healed. The whole earth was amazed and followed the beast".
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lilthuggy
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Posted: Thursday February 22nd, 2007 14:37 |
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I'm getting there
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the soul machine
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Posted: Thursday February 22nd, 2007 16:48 |
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Maat wrote: Greetings Everyone,
Long time I know but I hope you all are well and trust that you're in true BN form as always.
I'm asking this question because I'm beginning to have second thoughts about what I'm doing and whether or not it's really what I want. It may sound strange but I thought I'd finally found what I wanted to do but now....I'm not too sure.
There's so many things I'm interested in doing and my business is only one area of interest.
My questions to you:
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do? no but i always wanted to make comics., im in two part time jobs, one i detest and the other i kinda like, cuss it to do with creativity.
2) If so how did you get there?
poverty and bad decisions.
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?
id like to say no but its a yesss
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted? when i get enough money to pay 3 months rent, ill be free to decide. for now im a slave.
Please go ahead and let me know your thoughts on this one.
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Kibibi
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Posted: Thursday February 22nd, 2007 16:54 |
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Madam Butterfly wrote: Maat wrote:
most definatly. the first time i went to uni was because i wanted to go into journalism as i used to really enjoy writing. my aim was to make a name for myself in magazine writing to make publishing a novel easier (ahhh, such childhood dreams lol). In the end (unfortunatly AFTER my degree!) i decided that that whole world was just too cut throat and nasty. So i went through a loooooooooooooooooooooong period of not knowing what i wanted to do at all. (about 3-4 years) It was during this period i had the crappy dead end job and started voluntaring.
This is me to a T! The passion for writing, wanting to be a journalist and then realising the nastyness and cut throat business. I'm now at the stage where I quit my crappy job and I am now off next month to do volunteering in the UK and Kenya for 6 months and I cannot wait!!
I still do not know what I want to do...I know I still want to write and want to be published eventually but that's about it.
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Apedemak
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Posted: Thursday February 22nd, 2007 18:13 |
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^ Sounds intresting, have always liked writing. Plz keep us posted.
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do?
Yes.
2) If so how did you get there?
Wasn't easy.
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?
Yup.
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted?
I'm like Incognito, get bored easy. Thought I wanted to get into business, always have done really but i have a problem with seeing things creatively... seeing the idea but not the potholes and bear traps on the way there. Pooled my self into drawing up plans which I like doing but as time went on the dynamics changed both at home and in the area I live in had to involve family in my plans which is stressing me out as they don't share my ideas and certain people think they have to control everything which pisses me off.
Things should work out but I'm not sure I want to carry on in business as I did before went to see my uncle and he kinda put me off;
When I hear all these celebrities like Robbie Williams going into rehab and everybody saying how he has everything in life already and there's nothing left for him to buy, then you know these people are selfish.
Exactly.
I couldn't have that amount of money sitting depressed in rehab while people in Africa are starving....but then maybe these people have reached the point where they are stiff bored of donating to charity as well.
One thing I'll give them is that things are diffrent when they reach that level, people pay attention to where you're putting your money.
Kinda recognised theres a lot less stress involved when you're working for someone, you don't take the baggage home with you. Right now I want to leave one project and think about setting up another minus the pressures but I'm still not sure sometimes, will take me a good year of studying to get there and theres other work I enjoy doing that I can't really get into while caught up in the system as I am now... the idea was/is to escape the system so i can do what I want but the more I try and get free the more things pull me in.
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blessingfromgod
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Posted: Thursday February 22nd, 2007 20:56 |
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Maat wrote: My questions to you:
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do? I'm doing what I feel passionate about and pray to take it much further.
2) If so how did you get there? Im still on my journey, but by being focused and determined; in times of doubt, keeping my eyes on the final outcome - still doing this.
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now? I'm certain everybody goes through stages where you doubt yourself, ability etc - it will pass, if what you desire is right for you.
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted? My youthful experiences and today's society.
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Posted: Friday February 23rd, 2007 00:41 |
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Maat wrote: My questions to you:
Maat I'm sure I am not the only whose been driving around this topic and avoiding to put my thoughts- it's a bit like lying on the doctors couch and a jog down memory lane to track back at where it all went wrong - Cause this shh** is too close to the bone! it's like askin people, while their spouse is standing next to them if they married the person of their dream and if they re really happy. Well I'll try to be vague cause I think it's the only way to deal with reality. (I think very few people will let you on the on the real picture here Maat- you will get lots of clever answers though).
1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do? A bit.
2) If so how did you get there? It's a journey, just when you think you are gettin there, you are faced with another curve.
3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now? Every minute, this life is too complicated, and people who say they have it worked out really make me scared.
4) How did you finally decide what you wanted? By fully accepting that I had to be the architect of my love-life, career, social circles, mental well-being etc. By realising how dangerous the media is at painting artificial happiness and distorting reality. And realising that sometimes you've got to work with what you got ( a bit like making a meal with the few igredients left in the fridge). Money and networks aren't always accessible, but that isn't reason to stop dreaming. That all the negative stuff people said about me and made me believe while growing up isn't necessarily true and that I dont have to accept it - I can reject it and envision a new me. Learning to get up after a bad fall and dusting myself and trusting in God......think I will dash outta here - it's gettin bit claustrophobic - emotional that is.
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Maat
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Posted: Friday February 23rd, 2007 14:55 |
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@All: Thanks for all your good advice and experiences in this. This thread will definitely be a good reference point for many others I'm sure.
So much of what all of you say makes sense and actually is quite relieving! Sometimes everything can seem to be set then all of a sudden there's so many changes. It is nice to hear from those who are still searching and moulding the things they are doing.
The most ironic part is what Incongito said,
"I'm one of those people who get bored very quickly, once I do something I'm more one to say been there done it as opposed to dwell on it and you soon realise how finite the world can be to the degree you actually get more satisfaction in helping others reach their goals."
This is sooo me but one thing I never tire of is helping other people...even after they've got on my nerves lol. This is what I do and have been doing for a very long time. I suppose I could enjoy investigatng some of the other things I like. Just need to find the time ...
Last edited on Friday February 23rd, 2007 14:55 by Maat
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